It is surprisingly easy to hide it from Kurt. Blaine's avoided Skype calls thus far, claiming he's too busy or his webcam is broken. Kurt either buys all his lies, or he just chooses to let it go. Either way, Blaine is grateful for it.

He knows for a fact that Kurt has no idea about his new style. And Blaine has no intention of telling him any time soon – and Finn and Tina are either too uncomfortable or angered about the whole thing to even mention it to Kurt, much to Blaine's relief.

And even though Blaine has days where he just wants to talk about his outfits for hours with Kurt and ask for his advice on a certain piece of clothing, he shuts his mouth. He swallows his words down when he wants to gush about the outfit he wore the previous week, - a slightly risqué number that made him feel empowered and vulnerable at the same time; a long, wispy dress, with a black corset like top, deep red, light fabric on the bottom.

Blaine sighs into his hand as he listens to Kurt wax poetic about the new line he got to preview with Isabelle just yesterday. Blaine can imagine all the beautiful clothes in his head, and he can picture Kurt helping him into some glittery stilettos, Kurt zipping up a tight dress for him, hands lingering, Kurt running his hands over Blaine's lace clad thighs, smiling coyly up at him through his lashes.

He shakes himself, forces himself to stop daydreaming and actually listen to Kurt talk about his wonderful experience.

He knows none of that will happen anyway. First of all, he and Kurt are still broken up, and second of all, if Kurt ever found out about his clothes, Blaine knows he'd be disgusted with him, would think him ugly and would never want to touch him again.

-

The first time Blaine buys a pair of panties, he feels an extreme mixture of emotions - embarrassed and scared being the strongest. He runs through about a thousand different scenarios where his father or the Glee kids find out about his new purchases and they all ridicule him. After all, it's one thing to wear "girl" clothes, but it's another thing altogether to wear lace and satin in lieu of cotton briefs.

At first, Blaine buys his panties from places like Forever21; cute little pieces that he feels good in, but not extremely sexy. Then, once he gets comfortable and less nervous, he branches out, gets bolder in his purchases and spends hours on sites like Victoria's Secret, Frederick's, and once he discovers it, Xdress.

And every time he receives a package in the mail he smiles giddily, a flush ever present on his face.

He always tries them on as soon as he can, looks at himself in the mirror and wonders.

Wonders if he'll ever have someone – Kurt, his mind provides – to share this part of himself with, someone who'll cherish it, and handle him with care and love. Someone who will whisper words into his skin like a balm, trace fingertips over his lace and satin clad body.

Blaine wonders, he hopes, and he dreams for that day to come.

-

Blaine's having an okay day. He's dressed a little understated today, comfy while still fashionable – a soft, large maroon sweater, little black shorts, sheer tights underneath, with socks that go up to his calves, a pair of his old oxfords on his feet.

He's feeling a bit under the weather, and he fears that the cold he got over two months previous might be rearing its ugly head again. He can't afford to be sick right now though, not with rigorous Glee rehearsals, his teammates questioning his leadership, his course load thickening, college applications and about a million other things to worry about.

He walks quickly towards the choir room, hoping to get there before anyone else so he can have some time to regroup and breathe before he's smothered with demands and occasional odd looks from Tina.

When he gets to the choir room door however, he stops short. He can see Tina, Finn and Mr. Shue sitting together, heads pressed close together, but their voices aren't lowered, no, instead they're all talking – no,arguing– rather loudly.

Abouthim.

"I'm actually kinda worried about him, you guys." Finn says, fidgeting nervously in his seat.

Tina scoffs, "You should be. He's clearly going off the deep end. You know, I thought he was getting better after the break up, but it seems like he's just getting worse."

"Maybe you two are right. Blaine's always seemed so put together though... Do you think he's just going through some phase; that this will just pass? Or is it something we need to talk about with him? Maybe I should ask Emma to talk to him..."

Blaine closes his eyes, leans against the wall and presses a fist against his wobbling lips, fights against his tears and stalks down the hall, away from the choir room and the hurtful words and ignorant people.

He's done with today, and he's done with these people and this town.

But most of all, he's done with himself.

-
Blaine arrives home with a heavy heart, stomach turning with anxiety. He passes his father in the living room, sighing gratefully when his father grips his shoulder in comfort.

Blaine's father may not understand the dresses, makeup or heels, but ever since that first day that Blaine came home in tears - fingers gripping and tearing his dress in frustration and overwhelming sadness - his father has been trying; reaching out to Blaine, trying desperately to show him his support and love.

And Blaine appreciates it so much, much more than he can truly vocalize, but he thinks that his father knows.

He makes his way slowly to his room, a small smile beginning to form when he sees his phone light up with a call from Kurt.

-

Sometimes, Blaine feels downright ugly. Sometimes the looks and the hurtful words cut too deep and he's left feeling misunderstood, pathetic, useless, and ugly, ugly,ugly.

He has a night such as this after Finn comments in Glee on how he's just going through some odd little phase, that he'll be back to 'one of the guys' in no time.

So Blaine takes a long shower, water steaming and pounding onto his body, letting the water caress over his tense muscles, his coils loosening as he tries to get rid of all his negative energy.

And when he returns to his room, towel slung low on his hips, he doesn't go for his standard t-shirt and sweats, or his button down sleep set, no, instead he goes for his bottom drawer.

On days like these, Blaine is especially grateful for his personal credit card and his father's stance on respecting his privacy.

He owns a mixture of various types of delicate underwear - some are practical for everyday wear, some are just a little bit sexy, but the rest... The rest are scantily clad; thin material that barely covers his ass, thongs that leave nothing to the imagination, corsets and stockings and garter belts, even see through nighties that whisper over his skin like a sinful secret.

And tonight, Blaine pulls out a black pair of underwear out of his drawer. There is a small piece of material on the front that only just barely covers most of his cock. And the back,ohthe back - it makes the blood rush to his cock just thinking about it - is held together by thin straps of dark night material, and they criss cross and overlap, forming the shape of a sensual butterfly right at the cleft of his ass.

Blaine lays the tiny piece on his bed, sighing longingly. He turns away and goes back to his drawer, shuffling around the pieces there until he pulls out a pair of stockings - black mesh with a deep purple satin trim.

He then pulls the panties on slowly, savoring the feeling of the soft fabric on his skin. Then, he eases the stockings up each of his legs, letting the band snap against his thigh, breathing in sharply at the sensation.

Blaine smoothes his hands along the see through fabric, trailing his fingers up lightly to skim across the sensitive area of his inner thighs, up, up, up until his feather light touch reaches his half hard cock.

He gasps, leaning into the touch, his hips beginning to move in small, smooth rolls as his other hand leaves his pelvis to ascend his torso, leaving him shivering, the hairs on his arms raising at the seemingly electric touch.

Blaine takes in a deep breath and lays down on his bed, takes a moment to let his neck and head relax into his pillow, feel his bones settling and his breath evening out.

And then, his hands begin their journey once more, pulling whimpers and gasps from his throat. When he finally slides his hand beneath his panties, ghosting a fingertip over his hole, his mind begins to wander.

Blaine's eyes blink open and stare into a galaxy of color, and instead of his shorter, slightly softer hands, Kurt's long, rougher fingers, calloused from years of working on cars with his father and sewing his clothes, wrap around his cock, stroking him firm and slow until Blaine is fully hard, the head of his cock catching against his stretched out panties.

He whimpers, teeth biting down on his bottom lip and Kurt smirks at him, strokes turning faster and faster until Blaine is left gasping for breath, his toes curling into the sheets.

He needs more though, feels like he's on the edge of something otherworldly and so he yanks his panties down so that they stretch tight against his thighs, and he spreads his legs wide.

Kneeling above him, Kurt grins, feline like, and then his index finger is circling Blaine's hole, dry and slow and so, so perfect.

Blaine pushes into the touch, reaching out blindly for the bottle of lube he keeps in his bedside drawer, and then finally, finally, Kurt's slick finger is sliding into him, slow and careful, while his other hand keep pumping Blaine hard and fast.

Blaine feels as if he's being taken apart by the seams, feels so wonderful on display like this, so open and vulnerable for Kurt, and it's just as Kurt's adding a second finger, his voice low and secretive when he whispers into Blaine's ear, "That's it, beautiful, come for me, gorgeous, come all over you're pretty little panties for me."

And Blaine does come, body arching beautifully up into Kurt's body, trembling, mouth open as he gasps for breath.

When he opens his eyes, wonderfully blissed out, a sated smile on his face, he stares into an empty room, Kurt's imaginary whispered voice lingering like a knife in his chest.

-

Blaine sits down gingerly on the piano bench, his skirt flowing around him like water. He lets his hands glide over the smooth, cold keys, feeling, searching for a song from within.

He closes his eyes, lets his head tip back and he breathes in deep as his fingers begin to press down, caressing the keys as music flows out of his fingertips. The auditorium is silent, save for his lonely tune, the air still and stifling.

Blaine throws himself into the notes, his body leaning forward with every rising crescendo, tipping back with every slow descend.

His song stops abruptly, notes clashing together one last time before Blaine falls forward, tears streaming down his cheeks as he gasps for breath.

Face pressed against the cold piano, Blaine sucks in a sharp, stuttering breath when he hears the click clack of heels behind him. He knows who those heels belong to without even having to look up.

Unique lays a gentle hand on his shoulder once she reaches him and he leans into her with a sigh, covers her hand with his and squeezes.

"What's wrong, babydoll?" She asks quietly, her voice a whisper in the large room.

Blaine sighs, rests his cheek on their joined hands.

"Kurt's visiting next week. And um, lately we've been talking about the possibility of getting back together, but..."

"But? Isn't that a good thing?"

"Yeah – yes, of course it is. It's just – I haven't told him. About – you know."

"About... Oh, honey. How does he not know yet?"

Blaine shrugs, tugs Unique to sit next to him on the bench and rests his head against her shoulder, smiles when she begins to run her fingers through his hair – gel free today, a habit he's been trying to get himself comfortable with.

"I – I've been afraid to tell him. I mean, what if he thinks it's weird or stupid or-"

"Blaine," Unique's voice is sharp and stern as she nudges him to sit up straight and look at her, "I don't want to hear those words come out of your mouth again, you hear me? You arebeautiful, baby, and if Kurt doesn't see that – and God forgive me for saying this – then he can just take a hike. But, sweetie, Kurt would never say those things to you, you should know that!"

Blaine attempts a smile at her words, and a small part of him knows that Unique is probably right.

"Okay. I'll um, I'll tell him, soon, I promise."

She smiles, pulls him into a hug and kisses his cheek before she gets up off the bench and begins to walk away, turning towards him with a playful grin as she says, "Good. Now get your tight little butt up and come with me. Unique needs herself a new pair of heels and I can bet that you do too, darling."

Blaine laughs, wipes his eyes quickly and follows her, taking her hand with a grateful squeeze.