“No, Blaine.” Tina pants, holding his hand so tight his fingers turn white. “Don't go. Not yet.”
“Ok, honey, ok” Blaine shakes his head to Kurt, who's standing in at the door. Kurt spins in place on his heel, phone pressed to his ear, murmuring.
“It's okay, honey, just breathe. It's almost over.” Blaine's eyes flicker between Tina's face and the monitor showing the strength and frequency of her contractions. The line dipping on the screen mirrors Tina's spine as she slowly relaxes back into the bed, her face pale with exhaustion.
“Tim?” she asks hoarsely, as a nurse bustles in to shift monitors and straps. Tina glares at her as she bustles out.
“He's on the phone with Kurt. You want him?” Kurt is leaning on the doorframe, facing the hall, giving Tim – trapped in upstate New York by the blizzard – a calm and concise play-by-play of the events unfolding. At a quiet word from Blaine, he turns instantly, bringing the phone to Tina.
Tina is already so tired, her arms are shaking as she holds the phone to hear, but she smiles at the sound of her husband's voice. Blaine moves from the edge of her bed to the chair nearby.
“No, really, I'm ok, Pookie” – Pookie? Blaine and Kurt glance at each other in amusement. “Blainey and Kurt are taking good care of us.”
Kurt is already looking over the table near Tina's bed as her conversation softly continues, checking to see what else might be needed. Maybe some sort of snack – fruit, maybe? He'll check the “Partner's Kitchenette” down the hall to see what the hospital has provided – Tina doesn't like bananas, but maybe they'll have apples? Blaine should eat something too. Kurt hopes they have apples; Blaine will like that.
He grabs the giant styrofoam cup, pops the lid and straw off to check the level of the liquid inside. Too low, he decides and shakes the ice in the cup lightly at Blaine to let him know where he's headed – and heads out the door to refill it. Tina is sucking down ice cold cranberry juice like might hold magical painkilling properties. Who knows, maybe it does.
In lieu of her absent husband, Tina has insisted on Blaine staying at her side at all times, holding her hand, rubbing her back, talking to her between contractions, making her laugh. Kurt understood – Tina and Blaine had a far deeper connection than he and Tina, though lord knows how much they loved each other. He also understood Blaine needed to be there with her, to go experience what Tina was experiencing in his own way, to exorcise his own guilt and demons this pregnancy and dredged up. Blaine still thought that just because he was the biological father of this child, every ache and pain and issue Tina encountered was his fault – that he caused it. Kurt realized the only way Blaine was ever going to stop feeling that way was when their child was in his arms, and he realized that Tina was fine and the baby was fine and everything was wonderful.
Kurt does what he feels most comfortable doing – organizing the details, making sure the people he loved had what they needed to get through what they were going through.
The small kitchenette is next to the nurse's station. Jeanette, a blond nurse in patterned scrubs – yellow rubber duckies, which had made both Blaine and Tina grin – smiles at him.
“How're we doing?”
“Need more juice,” Kurt smiles back.
“It's good she's staying hydrated. I'll be in in a few minutes to get those monitors off & then she really should get up and walk for a bit. It'll keep her progressing.”
“Thank you, Jeanette.” Her cheerful, capable demeanor put all three of them at ease.
Cup refilled and arms piled with several healthy snack choices, Kurt stops to watch the news playing on the tv in the waiting room. He returns to Tina's room to find her just taking the phone away from her ear.
“I think we just got cut off” she says, staring at the phone.
“They just said on the news the storm appears to be stalled out upstate and it's just spinning and dropping snow. There are downed power lines and cell towers all over the place. Crews are already on their way to repair them, though.” Kurt reports.
Blaine perches himself on the side of the bed again, watching Tina's face for signs of distress. He looks exhausted already. If everything stays on schedule, they should have another 7 minutes before another contraction.
“Love?” Kurt lays a gentle hand on Blaine's shoulder. “You wanted me to remind you to go to the bathroom.”
Blaine takes just a fraction of a second to look into Kurt's eyes, a grateful and full-of-love look on his face.
“Thank you. Kurt.” he smiles gently, breathing his husbands name as he always did when his emotions got too much – a pause between whatever he'd been saying, then a caressing syllable and a soft enunciation on the 't'.
“Eena-boo, I'll be right back, “ he pats her leg under the blanket before standing and moving toward the door.
“Kurt?” Tina's voice is suddenly smaller and a little weaker. “Will you come hold my hand?”
“Of course, sweetie” Kurt takes Blaine's place on the bed, holding Tina's right hand.
Tina's not the most physically affectionate person – well, except with Blaine, but Kurt suspects that started years ago in self-defence – Blaine's sometimes like an overly affectionate octopus with the people he loves – needs to constantly nudge and caress and rub and pat and hold the people he loves. Kurt thinks it's from having to bottle all that up when he was younger and now it's just exploding out of him all over the place, all the time.
Kurt realizes his thoughts have wandered, and glances up from Tina's hand loosely holding his own to her face. She's smiling at him.
“How are you doing?” she asks.
“Me? Tina, I am absolutely the LAST person you should be worrying about.”
“I know, I know. But, seriously...”
“I'm fine. Kind of excited. Trying not to be too hyper. Really happy we got here in time, because that was the one logistical bit that really had me worried – so now we're where we're supposed to be – yeah, I'm good. You want your juice?”
Tina nods and Kurt hands her the cup, making sure she's got a hold of it before he lets go.
She sucks greedily at the straw. “Ohhh, that's the perfect amount of ice. Kurt, thank you so much.”
“Sweetie, it's nothing, really. You just let me know what else you want, and I'll make it happen.”
“I would really like to get out of this bed. They hurt so much worse when I'm lying like this.”
“Jeanette says she'll be here in a few to take everything off and then you can get up.”
“Oh good. These belts are torture. And that bitch nurse keeps coming and sliding them around for absolutely no reason and the velcro is scratchy and oh my god if she does it again, I'm not sure I can keep myself from slapping her hands away.”
Kurt chuckles. “I know. She's not very nice in the hallway either. What a bitch.”
“Bitch.” Tina laughs quietly in agreement.
“Who's a bitch?” Blaine is laughing, as he walks in with Sandy, the midwife, who walks to the monitors, watching carefully.
“No one. Ohhhhh” Tina sharply inhales a deep breath and makes frantic grabbing motions with her free hand. Blaine rushes to her side, grabs her hand, reminding her to breathe.
Kurt's hand is being crushed – positively crushed in Tina's grip – his fingers turning an alarming shade of purple as Tina slowly sucks in air through her nose and out through her mouth, timing it to Blaine's quiet counting.
This one is longer than the others. Kurt can't feel his fingers anymore. He watches Blaine watching Tina. Blaine is completely focused on her face, as if he can help her through this contraction with sheer intensity. Tina's eyes are closed tightly.
“And it's almost over,” Sandy says gently. Tina screws one eye open to dart a glance at Blaine, who nods encouragingly at her.
Tina lets out one more breath and then sinks back into the bed. “Can these come off now? This really kind of sucks lying on my back like this.” She bats at the velcro straps wrapped around her torso, holding the monitors that measure not only the baby's heartrate, but also the contractions, in place.
Jeanette breezes into the room, “Here I am! I'm coming to free you!”
Kurt gasps as the straps come off, revealing red and angry welts across Tina's stomach, some of them oozing a little blood. Sandi frowns. “Who put those on?”
Jeanette exchanges a knowing glance with her – “I'll speak to her about it. Apparently, she didn't understand the instructions about repositioning. And for the next time we monitor, it might help if you roll to your side. That might help with the pain.”
“Okay, honey,” Jeanette smiles at Tina, “let's get you up and moving around. See if we can get these contractions more frequent. And more intense,” she grins.
“uhhhhh, maybe I will just lie back down,” Tina exaggerates the apprehensive look on her face, just for laughs and everyone chuckles.
“Up, Eena. UP!” Blaine tugs gently on her arm and helps her wiggle her way off the table. He wraps an arm under her shoulders as she stands and wobbles slightly, making sure her legs will stay underneath her. Kurt fusses behind her, helps to arrange her two hospital gowns – one on backwards, one on forwards so the gap where it ties doesn't reveal too much.
“Come on, sweetie. One foot in front of the other.” Blaine's arms tighten as he remembers the last time the three of them were in this exact position.

******

“Come on, sweetie. One foot in front of the other.” Blaine has just lifted – manhandled, really – Tina from where she'd been lying on her bathroom floor. “Let's get you out of here.” Kurt hovers behind them, trying to mop up the water that has spilled out of the shower.
It's been nine days since Mike's accident – one of those freak accidents that you can't really believe can happen when you hear about it – Blaine still can't believe it. Scaffolding onstage had tipped and fallen on him – pulverizing his left femur. A piece of bone marrow, a day later, had been swept to his heart, though they're not yet sure if it was that or the blood clot that actually killed him.
Tina had clung to him at the hospital while they waited to hear news of Mike's condition. Blaine knew, as he had for years, that in times of extreme stress, Tina wants someone nearby, close enough to touch. It's better when she knows someone's nearby, so Blaine is careful to always have some part of his body touching hers – his knee pressed against hers, his hand on her shoulder, his cheek on her hair as she frets into his shirt.
When the doctor comes out to give his update on Mike's status, he asks them to come out into the hall. Blaine wants to protest – Tina can barely stand right now, she should be sitting down, this can't be happening like this.
Blaine knows even before the doctor says “We did everything we could --” He knows and he braces his feet and leans back, knows that Tina's going to need him to hold her up when she hears.
And he's right. Blaine can feel the split-second when her brain registers the words. Her whole body goes absolutely boneless with grief and shock. He's all that's holding her together right now.
The doctor crouches down as they sink to the floor, Blaine's arms so tight around her shoulders – he's all that's holding her together right now, and he can't do anything more but she's about to fall to pieces and he's all she has. The doctor looks concerned, and Blaine can see the wheels clicking in his head, responsibly monitoring the situation – definite case of shock, why wasn't there a private room I could have done this in, count the breaths, maybe take her pulse, will she need a sedative, what more can I do – and Blaine just nods at him in thanks , his lips pressed tight against the sobs that want to burst out. With one last look, the doctor gently rests his hand on Tina's hair and says “I'm so very sorry.”
Then he leaves, gives them their own space in this dingy end of the hallway where no one else needs to be right now – it's the place he takes the families to deliver the bad news because it's a dead-end and they can have just a few more minutes to try to process his information without someone barging in or rushing by or getting in their way. He feels a lump in his throat as he sees this poor woman's grief, curled into this man who's clutching her so protectively as they huddle on the floor. He wishes he could do more.
The next morning, Blaine discovers he still has teethmarks from where Tina had muffled her screams in his shoulder.

****

Blaine pulls a t-shirt over Tina's head, pushing her arms through her sleeves. At times, she's nearly catatonic. Blaine can't tell which is worse, her lucid moments where her eyes just look so broken, or this numbness so strong she can't even dress herself.
He and Kurt have been here since they brought her home from the hospital. Kurt has taken care of all the phone calls admirably. His call to Mike's parents to let them know what had happened had been calm and collected, kind and caring. After he'd hung up, though, he'd collapsed into Blaine's arms and they'd both sobbed until they fell asleep on the couch that Mike had always complained about. It seemed like they'd been crying for days.
Thankfully, both of them are in between jobs, so they can help with this. Mike had left a will that specifically stated he wanted to be cremated and that any funeral plans were strictly up to Tina. When Kurt had gently asked what he could do to help with those plans, she'd violently shaken her head. “Not yet. Not ready.” She vomited soon after.
Kurt fields all the phone calls and inquiries from their family and friends – Tina is adamant that her parents and Mike's parents stay in Ohio “Nothing they can do right now -- Please don't let them come” and pukes again, Blaine's hands holding her hair back. After that, she doesn't speak out loud again for two days.
Blaine rarely leaves Tina alone. He's at her side nearly every minute of every day, sometimes talking, sometimes not. When he has to leave – to go to the bathroom, or frantically eat some food Kurt has quietly prepared – Kurt can see the panic rising in Tina's face. Blaine sleeps in the bed with Tina, after making sure she's taken the sleeping pill the doctor prescribed. Blaine makes sure she drinks water, sometimes holding the glass for her. Blaine stays to take care of Tina, and Kurt stays to take care of Blaine.
He's thankful both he and Blaine between shows right now, so they can stay here and do this, because otherwise – he's starting to think that Tina might die too, of sheer heartbreak.
Rachel comes every other day, quietly dropping off groceries and other essentials – especially kleenex – without being asked. She doesn't come in, just asks She also dealt with the numerous floral arrangements that arrived and which Kurt left out in the hallway – Tina didn't need allergies on top of all of this.
They thought she'd been doing better. She was clearly making a effort. She tries so hard to come out of it. But this morning, it was just too much again. She'd gone to shower just before lunch. Blaine realizes the water had been running too long – the first she'd taken since the accident – and goes in to check. He finds her lying on the floor, so exhausted she can barely sob.
Kurt's in the kitchen, heating up some homemade broth when Blaine guides Tina in and helps her sit in a chair.
“T, sweetpea, you need to eat, okay? Will you try to eat? Just a little?” Blaine's relieved when Tina raises her eyes to his, and nods slightly.
Kurt ladles some broth, carefully handing the steaming bowl to Blaine. Blaine sits next to Tina, dipping the spoon in and gently holding it up. Tina slurps gently, eyes closing as the taste hits her tongue.
“S'good.” she mumbles. Blaine feeds her another spoonful, then another.
“Carole's recipe. I added a little extra salt to help with the dehydration.” Blaine is heartbroken for Tina, but at this moment, he can't help being so grateful for the man standing next to him – for his kindness and caring and forethought. How is he so lucky that this man is in love with him?
“Is there more?” Tina's voice is getting stronger, the more broth she eats. It's the first time since they've been there she's requested more.
“Of course, honey.” Kurt's voice is soft as he refills the bowl. “And if it tastes good to you, I'll keep making it. I can add some rice to it for later – do you think that would taste good to you?” Blaine smiles when Tina nods.
“Will it be okay if I plate up Blaine's lunch?” Early on, even the smell of food had made Tina wretch – after that ,they'd made a point to eat in shifts, standing alone in the kitchen.
“Yes.” she smiles weakly. “Please, guys. You need to eat too.”
Blaine still doesn't trust that she'll keep eating if he's not holding the spoon in front of her. He doesn't mind. He alternates between feeding her the broth and feeding himself the chicken breast and vegetables Kurt has already anticipated – god Kurt I love you so much – he'll need cut up into bite-sized pieces so he can eat one-handed.
Kurt sits next to Blaine, across from Tina. They eat in silence. Under the table, Blaine presses his knee against Kurt's gently at first, then more fiercely. Kurt knows what he's trying to say, looks up and smiles in acknowledgment. I love you too.

That night, Tina asks Rachel to come in when she drops the groceries off. They all sit on the couch and watch Bravo, and Blaine doesn't think Tina is really seeing it. But, at least, her eyes are moving around, taking in this space and the people who love her., not fastened dully staring at one spot. She's going to get there someday.

Three days later, Kurt gets a call that he's been cast in a show – he starts rehearsals next week. Tina's able to show enough interest that he only feels moderately guilty at leaving them – but she is doing better, and Blaine's next gig isn't until the week after – Tina lovingly shoos him out the door. He'll start spending the nights at home, resting up and getting ready, but he promises himself he'll stop by once a day to make sure everything's going okay.

The first day Kurt's gone, Blaine takes Tina out for a walk around the neighborhood. The wind brings some color back in her cheeks, and she asks if they can stop for ice cream, even though it's November.
She orders a hot fudge sundae with three different kinds of ice cream and all the toppings. She eats every bite.

The night of Blaine's gig, he's nervous about leaving, but Santana's coming over. She's still just as bitchy and sharp as ever, but has completely shocked them all with her sudden sensitivity and caring towards Tina. He carefully dresses in the clothes Kurt dropped off for him earlier in the day before his matinee – with a quick grope and a whispered promise that he'd be at the show.
Santana has brought over some movies – dude flicks as opposed to chick flicks, so there will be tasteless nudity, dick jokes, things blowing up and absolutely no triggers or reminders for Tina – and he can't help but be grateful to her. Tina smiles as she kisses him on the cheek. Santana pushes him out the door with a “good luck, gorgeous” and a wink.
The show is goes well. He feels incredible. The audience is really engaged, they're begging for more. After the show, the club owner wants to talk to him about additional show dates and there's someone who says they're a scout from a label who'd like to set up a meeting. Best of all, there's Kurt, waiting for him in the tiny dressing room, his mouth tasting of whiskey and his hands rough and hot.
They head back to Tina's apartment and are amazed, so happy to hear a deep belly laugh from Tina as they open the door. She and Santana have their feet up on the couch, Talladega Nights is playing in the background, and they are honest-to-god laughing. Blaine's not sure when he's been so relieved.
“Anderson!” Santana's voice is boisterous. “What the hell are you doing here? What happened to the post-show sex with all your groupies?”
“Groupie, in the singular, Santana.” Kurt snips as he heads for the bathroom. “Excuse me, please” and he shuts the door.
“Fine. What happened to the post-show sex with your groupie-in-the-singular, Anderson?”
Blaine's so happy to see Tina's open, laughing face – christ, she's really laughing! – that he can't answer fast enough and blushes fiercely.
“HA! GET IT, BLAINEY!” Santana cackles and Tina throws her head back to laugh. “Banged him in the dressing room, didja?”
“No, there wasn't enough room to spread my legs.” Kurt says cooly, returning, and Santana looks so nonplussed at his admission that Blaine and Tina laugh hysterically.
“Baby, I'm just going to run home to get my pajamas, and I'll be right back – I can't believe I forgot to pack them.”
“Blainers.” Tina has finally recovered enough to speak. “You and Kurt should go home and sleep in your own bed.”
“Yep, I'm staying all night to keep this bitch” Santana slaps at Tina's leg “company. You boys go home and fuck.”
Blaine laughs at her coarseness, knows underneath it she's trying to be kind – and looks at Kurt who's unconsciously licking his lips seductively at the thought of having him. It HAS been a long time.
“Seriously, B. Go home. I'll be fine. I'll call you if I need anything.”
Blaine runs his hand over Tina's hair, and smiles. “Okay, honey.”
Hours later, naked and sweaty and disheveled and sated for the moment, they lying in their bed, but are anything but tired. They're high on being together again, just them – after such tragedy and drama and emotional exhaustion, to be together again and focused on each other is exhilarating. Neither one is sleepy.
They are quiet for bit, however, Kurt lying on his stomach, Blaine tracing delicate patterns on his back.
“It's good that Santana's there.” Blaine murmurs.
Kurt knew Blaine's thoughts would be drifting back to Tina throughout the night, though he did do his best to keep him fully distracted. It's only now that things have quieted that the other thoughts in Blaine's head take precendence.
“She's not such a reminder,” Kurt answers Blaine's unspoken question. “We were there from the start, we saw everything she went through. We are constant reminders of what she went through. Not that she doesn't need us or love us or anything. But it's good for her to be with someone loves her, but wasn't there when it all went down.”
“Yes. You're right.” Blaine sighed.
“Stop worrying, Anderson. Stop it. She's fine.”
“I know --”
“I see I'm going to have to distract you again.” Kurt rolls to his back, pulling Blaine down to him.
“I think that's a very very good idea.”
The rest of the night passes without Blaine's attention wandering again.