April 29, 2012, 9:03 a.m.
From Where You Are: Chapter 22 A Thousand Years
M - Words: 1,996 - Last Updated: Apr 29, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 28/28 - Created: Dec 08, 2011 - Updated: Apr 13, 2022 998 0 10 0 0
Blaine sits in shock until suddenly Kurt has him in his embrace. They sit buried in each other's arms for what seems like hours. Blaine is frozen. He feels so close to what he's fought and struggled for, but now that he has it, he doesn't know what to do with it. He doesn't know what to feel or what to think. Doesn't know if any of this is real. How could it be real?
How could it possibly be real?
Kurt is shaking, openly crying into Blaine's shoulder, arms gripping Blaine so tight he knows he'll bruise, but it's worth it. And there is no way Blaine is going to let Kurt go now.
"Shh... I'm here... I'm here... I'm not going anywhere." Blaine soothes, closing his eyes, just loving the feeling of Kurt against his body. Somewhere deep inside, something is bubbling up. Sadness? Loss? Completion? It's that damn gap again, this hole in his chest just aching to be filled. It hurts and Blaine just wanted to let go, to cry in Kurt's shoulder, to let it all out. But he can't. What if the cameras are watching? He can't appear weak.
Kurt is kissing his neck, muttering into his ear. "I love you. I am so proud of you. I love you I love you I love you. I knew you'd come home. I am so sorry. I am so so sorry"
It was then that hazel eyes met blue. Blaine sat in shock, almost brought back to the cliff and freezing rain, until he realizes that they aren't the same blue eyes. These have specks of green in them.
It's Kurt. Really Kurt. And no one else. It's Kurt.
It's Kurt.
"You have nothing to be sorry for." He whispers softly, voice rough.
Kurt is moving closer, opening his mouth to say something, but Blaine cuts him off with a kiss. It is soft, chaste, but says more than a thousand words. Kurt lets his hand move to cup Blaine's face and uses the other to pull him closer.
It was as if nothing had happened. Blaine is home. There was never a reaping, there was never an arena, there was never a nightmare. It was as if Kurt had come to bring Blaine back from the mill after a long day of lightless hours in the factory. It was if they were in the meadow, the breeze catching and swirling about them.
Then Blaine is pulling away, looking down with a silent exhale, a small smile playing on his lips. He reaches up to run his hand through his curls when they don't move. A look of confusion flashes across his face. Then the look is back. That blank look.
It was real.
Kurt holds his breath, watching his boyfriend fight this internal battle. His face is emotionless, not betraying a single thought, but Kurt knows Blaine. He knows that he is fighting so hard after he's already won. And it hurts to see him like this.
Blaine is still stuck inside that arena. Trying to find his way out. He doesn't feel safe, he doesn't feel secure, he doesn't feel. Kurt just wants life to go back to how it was. It wasn't much, but hell it was beautiful. But he knows that things will never be the same, Blaine will never be the same.
He wants to just move closer and kiss him. Wants to tell him that he's safe and that everything's okay and that it's over. Wants to hold him tight until the sun rises and sends shafts of light through the cracked ceiling.
But he can't.
One step at a time, Kurt thinks to himself.
"I think you should go wash up. Get some of that gel out of your hair. Then you can come back and sleep. How does that sound?" Kurt urges lightly, voice concealing the concern he holds.
Blaine nods numbly and moves to the bathroom door, where the shower installed is small but sufficient, taking cold water from the stream and carrying it through rusted pipes. The door shuts softly behind him and Kurt hears the water start to run.
Kurt lets out a long breath, running his slender fingers through his hair. Normally, he would refrain from such an action, considering he left his hair pristinely coiffed. But nothing about this was normal.
He busies himself, arranging the sheets and pillow, trying to make everything as comfortable as possible for Blaine. He pulls out a towel and some dry clothes, setting them by the door to the bathroom so he can get changed.
He is bustling about, straightening things out...
Then suddenly
A strangled cry from within the bathroom.
A large thump and crash.
A whimper.
Alarm seizes in Kurt's mind.
Blaine.
Without thinking, he's bursting into the bathroom, throwing aside the shower curtain and kneeling next to the tub. Blaine's curled up on the bottom, water pouring on his face and skin, eyes squeezed shut, his body as tense as the drawstring on a bow.
"Oh my god Blaine are you okay? What happened?" Kurt's panicking, checking his boyfriend over, looking for any injury. "Are you hurt? Blaine?"
Blaine's shaking, violent tremors wracking his body.
"Blaine? Please say something. What can I do? Please. " Kurt pleads.
Blaine is quiet, and then he begins to recite softly, as if reading out a memory, eyes still frozen shut, "I realize that I am crying softly, the tears mingling with the cold rain that is still pelting down on the arena. My body is finally betraying me as I begin to lose control. The black spots return and creep around the edges of my vision." Blaine's voice cracks, but he swallows and continues, "It is almost over. In some way or the other. Keep breathing keep fighting. I know the world is watching and I try to stop the tears. But I can't."
Kurt stares in shock, realization washing over him like icy water, stinging and binding: He's reliving a moment in the arena.
Blaine breathes, voice trembling, "I sway on my feet, spreading my good arm out to steady myself. Every droplet of rain feels like it is trying to push me to my feet. It's as if the Gamemakers are trying to hammer me down, drop by drop, until I am part of the arena itself. But I stay on my feet, and breathe." He shudders. "In, Out"
In a second Kurt is climbing into the tub with him, the stinging spray splashing into his face. It doesn't matter that Blaine is naked, or that he is going to get his clothes wet. All that matters is that Blaine needs him.
And now Kurt is right where he is.
He pulls Blaine onto his lap and against his chest. "Shhh... Shhh... It's okay. You're safe now. You're home. Shhh... I love you." He reassures into his ear, stroking his soaking curls, massaging the gel out of them.
When Blaine opens his hazel eyes, they are unfocused and glazing over. He's biting his lip, and Kurt can tell that he's trying to keep himself from crying.
"You can let go Blaine. You don't have to hide anymore. There's no one watching."
It is silent for a moment; all that can be heard is the pitter patter of the water droplets and the creaking of the rusty pipes. Then Blaine lets out a sob. One single wrenching sob. Then another. And another.
He's finally crying, tears pouring down his face and mingling with the water. Finally crying about everything that's happened, not because of pain or the consequence of his battered body. Finally crying because of Blaine. His body is shaking violently with the effort, chest heaving. Kurt just pulls him closer, holding him tight, arms wound tightly around his boyfriend, as if he could keep everything away. Blaine buries his face into Kurt's smooth neck and sobs painfully.
Kurt moves his hand in soothing circles across Blaine's back, the physical presence of Blaine enough to bring him to tears but he doesn't dare cry, he has to be strong for Blaine. But he can't trap a couple tears that escape and vanish into the pouring water. Without the clothes, or the makeup, or the mask, he sees how vulnerable Blaine really is, and how frail the games have made him. He runs his fingers lightly across Blaine's skin, over an unflawed, unmarked shoulder that Kurt had seen ripped apart by savage claws. Instead of an ugly scar, there's nothing but smooth supple skin. No memory of the wound on the outside, only on the inside.
And it's the absence of any sort of damage that will haunt Blaine for the rest of his years. He has nothing real or tangible about his experience in the games to hold on to. All of it is seared inside his mind, and makes more of a mark than anything.
Eventually Blaine's sobs quiet and lessen, the shaking fading into nothing more than the occasional shiver. Tears become sniffles. Kurt is still holding him tightly, whispering into his ear and reassuring him. Reassuring him that this is real. That he's safe. That he's home.
Blaine exhales, his breath a hot breeze fluttering across Kurt's skin.
"I'm getting you wet." He mumbles into Kurt's neck.
"Since when has that ever been a problem?" Kurt says shortly, running his fingers through Blaine's wet curls.
Blaine pulls away slightly, looking up into Kurt's eyes, and small smiles break across their faces. Kurt chuckles, leaning in to kiss Blaine. He brushes a tear from his cheek, holding his face in his hands. Kurt pulls him in tightly, pressing their foreheads together and Kurt can feel Blaine's breath on his lips.
"I love you" Blaine sighs, entangling his fingers with Kurt's.
"Love you too."
Blaine blinks his eyes drowsily and Kurt smiles fondly. "Let's get you to bed."
He helps Blaine out of the tub, drying him off slowly and dressing him. Blaine's already half asleep when Kurt pushes him lightly on the bed. He lies there, curled up in the sheets while Kurt strips of his soaking clothes and slips into dry ones, not bothering with his moisturizing routine.
"Kurt?" Blaine asks, rubbing his hands in his eyes, looking like a sleepy toddler.
"I'm right here." He says gently, sliding into the bed and pulling Blaine into his arms. He sits, carding his fingers through Blaine's dark silky curls, watching his long lashes flutter closed.
Then Blaine turns to look up at him, hazel eyes droopy, feeling so impossible safe, warm, and loved. "Sing to me." He breathes softly.
Kurt looks down at the boy in his arms, cradling him against his chest. It is quiet for a moment and suddenly Kurt is singing softly, for the first time in what feels like decades.
Hearts beat fast, tears and promises
How to be brave
How could I love when I was afraid you'd fall?
But watching you stand alone, all of my doubt suddenly flew away somehow
One step closer
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
Time stands still, beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
Who's lying in front of me
Every breath, Every hour has come to this
One step closer
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
One step closer
One step closer
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid,
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more...
Kurt looks back down in his arms, and sees that Blaine is bordering on sleep, a smile on his rosy lips. "Go to sleep love." He whispers.
Within moments Blaine is asleep, breathing softly. Kurt leans down to press a kiss to his curls. He looks up at the stars through the holes in the ceiling, watching the moonlight as it trickles into the dark room. Snuggling in closer to his boyfriend and wrapping him tightly within his arms, he falls asleep.
Comments
I had to keep telling myself not to cry during that... Damn. It's perfect. I love this so much.:')
Thank you sweetheart! I really wanted to make that reunion special. Hope it wasn't a let down... As always, I love your reviews, they are so helpful and so encouraging. It has been great having you with me. Lots of love!
Bravo. Just... Bravo
Aw thank you so very much love :) I'm relieved that you actually liked it. *exhales*
Oh how I've missed the fluff!! How many chapters do you think there are left?
Same! Wow, I'd almost forgotten how to write it haha. There is one chapter and an epilogue left. I'm still deciding if I'm going to publish them on the same day or not. I'll see how long they are and then make that decision. But yes, we are almost done.
I don't know how I'm going to let it go either. (Cries into your shoulder) But thank you! I'm glad you've enjoyed it!
How will i ever survive without this? So beautiful!
:( Sad that the story is almost over :) Great chapter though :( Sad cus the story is almost over!
I'm glad you liked the chapter! Thanks! I'll be sorry to see it over too.... Still so completely unreal haha