I awoke at six the next day, a Saturday, to find Jeff awake and reading a book on the sofa.
“What are you doing awake at this ungodly hour?” I asked.
“Making sure you don’t chicken out, dude.”
And suddenly, I was grateful that Jeff was awake. I found myself thanking him in my mind a million times, though in retrospect that was most likely because I was distracting myself from what I had to do that morning.
“GET. IN. THE. SHOWER. NOW. BLAINE. ANDERSON.”
“Yes, yes! I’m going!... Wait. You’re not fighting me for the hot water this time?”
Jeff laughed at me. “No, man. You NEED to be clean and warm for Kurtie Bear to hug and cuddle you.”
I shoved Jeff onto his bed before collecting my towel, toiletries and my regular clothes and heading towards the showers.
I’d showered and dropped my shower things back at my dorm room – where Jeff continued to sing his newly-composed “KURTIEBEAR CUDDLES” in a high-pitched, girlie voice – before racing to the coffee shop to buy everything and surprise Kurt like I’d done the day before.
I walked in, ordered our drinks and croissants this time, and sat down at the same table I was sitting at the day before.
I decided to text him to let him know that I was in the same place, since I didn’t want to draw attention to myself again.
To: Kurt Hummel
Sitting at the same table as yesterday, refusing to make birdcalls this morning. ;)
I sent the text and within about a minute, I received a reply.
From: Kurt Hummel
Good to hear. I’m sure Pavarotti will be glad too. :)
No sooner had I looked at the text and smiled at Kurt’s name when it appeared on my screen, Kurt had sat down opposite me and smiled that big, wide, beautiful smile of his.
“Croissants this morning? Someone’s ambitious,” he said, teasingly.
“Well, the weekend calls for a little celebration,” I said simply, refusing to play the tease game.
“Honestly, Blaine, you’ve got to let me pay one of these days, I think I owe you a gazillion dollars.”
“It’s all good. It’s fine.”
“No, come on! I feel bad!”
I laughed at his pleading face and his puppy dog eyes. He could be such an actor when he wanted to be.
“Well, tell you what. Buy me a cookie after breakfast and we’ll call it even?”
Kurt laughed at my idea, but accepted the fact that he wouldn’t win any other way.
“Sure.”
We both stirred our drinks and sipped in silence for a few minutes before we began to eat our croissants.
“This is really, really good,” Kurt said while licking butter off of his lips.
I smiled at him as warmly as I could. “I’m glad you like it.”
“Why aren’t you- you already finished!? Are you kidding me!?”
“Nope! Finished. And it was GOOD.” I mocked Kurt just a little bit, I’ll admit. But it was fun to see the way he pretended to be offended, gently shoving my shoulder a bit in the pretence of anger.
Seeing Kurt laugh made me remember why I dressed in the best clothes I could and why I took extra care in taming my wild, curly hair. I knew I had to tell Kurt everything, otherwise I’d regret it. And Jeff was right, I had been happier since I’d been spending time with Kurt. I couldn’t let this opportunity pass.
“So, Kurt... Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure,” he replies, taking a sip of his grande non-fat mocha.
“How would you feel if I said that... that I think of you differently now?”
Kurt stopped sipping his coffee and put it down on the table softly.
“Uhm. Depends. Define ‘differently’.”
This was the hard part that I knew I had to get through. I couldn’t just stop. This was where it got really, really important.
“Well, I’ve been... seeing you in a different light for a while now. Actually, ever since I met you. I think... I think of you in a different way than you might think.”
“...I think... I think I know what you might mean...”
“You do?”
“I’m not sure... keep going and I’ll tell you if I do.”
I chuckled at Kurt’s rational thinking, but had to get back to business.
“Okay, Kurt. I’m just going to come out with it... I... I like you Kurt. I like the way you smell like lavender every day. I like the way you sing with the Warblers so passionately. I like the way your eyes light up when you smile at me and I like how... how whenever we’re even just sitting next to each other without saying anything, I’m the happiest guy in the room just being near you. I love your smile, I love your laugh, and I love your beautiful blue eyes and your perfect skin. I love everything about you. And... that’s what... I had to say...”
I had to look down at my coffee, because I was so nervous I didn’t think I could have handled it if Kurt looked at me in disgust and turned me down. I was shaking so much, I felt the scalding coffee shaking in the cup, spilling over the sides and burning my hand. It hurt so much, but it still took me a second to realise what was going on.
I hadn’t even noticed, but while I was cursing myself for shaking and spilling coffee on my hand, Kurt had raced to the counter, asked for some ice, and had brought it back for me. He tenderly took my hand and placed the icepack on top, soothing the pain.
He could have taken his hand away from mine after putting the icepack on, but instead he held both my hands and looked at me.
I looked straight into his eyes and saw warmth and brightness.
“Blaine Anderson, you have no idea how long I’ve waited for you to say that.”
It took a minute for Kurt’s words to process. I couldn’t believe that he actually reacted the way he did. I was in shock. I couldn’t say anything, and he seemed to understand, because he kept talking.
“I... I have felt something for you I’ve never felt before. It feels like something deeper than friendship. There’s so much trust and faith in our friendship that I couldn’t help but think: This boy knows more about me than I know about myself.
You... You opened me up to a world I never knew existed. A world of happiness. A world where I could be proud to be exactly who I am. You gave me courage. And nothing makes me happier than spending time with you.”
We sat there for a moment, with our hands still clasped together, just looking at each other. It seemed so clich�, but so perfect: gazing into one another’s eyes after having confessed our true feelings. The silence got too much to bear. And I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t take a step forward.
“Kurt Hummel. Would you like... would you like to go out with me?”
Kurt grinned at me, squeezed my hands and said, “Blaine Anderson, there’s nothing else I’d rather do.”