I woke at six that morning, knowing that I wanted to impress Kurt. I wanted to make him feel special. I wanted him to feel loved and appreciated.
It only takes me about half an hour to get ready, including the daily ‘fighting the other boarders for the one shower with hot water’ debacle. I beat Jeff to the good shower, and closed the door to the stall. His cursing was echoing through the bathroom, and I could hear the other guys in the line chuckling too. Competition is ever present in Dalton, even when it comes to showers.
I showered faster than I’d ever showered in my life and sprinted back to the room I shared with Jeff, where he was still groggily getting himself out of bed. I’d already changed into my uniform and fixed my hair into the ‘Dalton-appropriate’ style by the time he even realised I’d come back into the room.
“Why are you... why are you rushing, dude?”
“I’m going to coffee before school man, so don’t wait up for me. ‘kay?”
“....Blaine?”
I stopped on my way to the door and turned to look at Jeff.
“Yeah?”
“Have fun with Kurt,” he said with a sly smile and a not-so-subtle wink. He knew what buttons to push.
I could feel my cheeks getting red. “Yeah, thanks. I will,” I said quickly, before promptly exiting the room and racing to the other side of the campus where the coffee shop was. I knew Kurt liked a Grande non-fat mocha, so I ordered it for him, ordered myself a medium drip and bought us a bagel each, since Kurt said he’s never tried a Dalton bagel.
I paid for the order, took it all on a tray and even picked up spoons and those little sachets of sugar from the counter. I remembered lids as well – just in case I could convince Kurt to walk with me around campus before school started at eight. The school was actually really beautiful during the winter.
I didn’t even touch my drink or bagel until I saw Kurt walk in. He brushed the snow off of his scarf and proceeded to look around the store to try and find me. I stood up excitedly and called his name just a little louder than necessary. It didn’t really matter, there were only three other guys in the store.
Kurt walked over with a broad grin and sat down, careful that he wasn’t creasing his blazer. The way he worried about things like that was another trait I found myself fawning over. I couldn’t believe how much he’d had an effect on me. But I couldn’t just sit there gawking at him like I was. I had to say something.
“Hey, glad you made it. I ordered you a Grande non-fat mocha and bought us both bagels. I hope that’s okay.”
I sounded nervous. I really did. I think I was shaking a little, too. I had no idea how Kurt was feeling, or even if he noticed any of it. He did, however, begin smiling even more than he was before.
“Blaine Anderson, you memorised my order?” he asked with a sly grin.
“...I may have...”
I wasn’t sure if that counted as flirting. Maybe it did. I don’t know. I couldn’t help myself feeling shy, though. I didn’t want to be over the top and make him think I was a stalker or something.
“...That’s rather cute. Memorising my order. Very cute.”
Kurt was now looking straight at me, as if his eyes were searching mine for answers to the questions he couldn’t say out loud. In that moment, I couldn’t help but think: does he know? Does he know how I truly feel?
I had to find out somehow, but I couldn’t just ask outright.
“Define ‘cute’” I said, equally as sly as Kurt had been.
Kurt took his eyes away from mine and turned his attention to the packet of Splenda I’d thought to get him. He busied himself with the sweetener and with stirring his drink, leaving me in suspense. Part of me thought he knew what he was doing. I thought that maybe he knew he was leaving me hanging. He was doing it on purpose. And when Kurt finally looked up at me again with another sly smile, I was pretty sure that he knew.
“Well. Put it this way. How many friends of yours have memorised your order?”
I thought about it for a moment.
“Only Jeff. He knows my order because when I’m too lazy to get drinks, he’ll take my money and get it for me.”
“Exactly. Your roommate knows. And I’d expect him to, quite frankly. When you practically live with someone that usually happens. Because you’re close.”
I noticed that Kurt had put great emphasis on the word ‘close’.
“So you think that... by me remembering your order, we’re close?” Dammit. I was going to get some answers out of Kurt. I needed to know what he was feeling, because if he didn’t feel the same way and I said something flirty, it could ruin things. It could ruin the amazing friendship we have. And I’d lose Kurt.
Kurt stopped smiling in that sly way of his and sighed. He put his hand on top of the free hand I had resting on the table and looked at me meaningfully.
“You know we’re close. We’ve been close from the minute you took me under your wing and gave me courage.”
That’s when I saw Kurt’s real smile come alive again. It’s when he smiles really wide and his eyes smile too. His beautiful eyes. They’re my weakness. They’ll be the death of me one day, I swear.
“I only gave you what you deserve,” I said softly, returning the smile.
Kurt squeezed my hand. “No,” he said. “You gave me much more.”