"Please!" Kurt whined, his fingers laced together in front of his pouting lips; his eyes opened incredibly wide. He abandoned his current standing position and fell to his knees in front of me.

"No." I said firmly, picking up my Chinese take-away carton and clasping a clump of noodles together with my chopsticks before plopping it into my mouth.

"Give me one good reason why not."

"I'll give you my reason but, please, sit down."

Kurt did as he was told, took to his seat beside me and raised his eyebrow.

I sat my drink down on the coffee table and told him my reason. "Okay, let me get this straight. You lied - to your family - about being in a committed relationship that doesn't exist. There's a wedding to go to; which they expect you to bring this mysterious someone, only you have no such person to bring so you decide to ask me. Did I get that right?"

"Basically, yeah. I only-"

"You never lie. What the hell has – Oh, I don't know – possessed you to lie about something so important?"

The response I got was a flat, unimpressed look.

"Why?" I asked, throwing my hands up.

Kurt opened his mouth to answer, but I continued, "I mean, why would you lie to your family, Kurt? You didn't even lie about the fact that you didn't buy anyone Christmas presents last year because you felt like you 'needed a break from work' and so you spent it on pointless, and expensive crap. And now you've gone and done this? I don't get it!"

I stared at Kurt and he stared right back, one hand placed in his lap whilst the other amused itself by dancing around cups and other objects on my coffee table. The amusement died down eventually and he placed his hand in his lap to join the other. "Can I talk now?" He asked after a moment.

"Of course."

Kurt took a deep breath. "I'm an embarrassment to my family. I've been single for most of my life, well – apart from Chandler last year but that doesn't count because, well, you know. I've not found the right boy and...anyway, I want my family to stop worrying that I'll grow up and turn into an old, lonely man with no one to call my own because I didn't have a serious boyfriend."

As Kurt rambled on, my mind wandered. Just because he didn't have personal experience with love, that didn't mean he didn't have the brain capacity to get what it meant.

I sighed again, rubbing a hand through my dark hair, probably mussing it up even more than it originally was. "So you want to take me with you because..." I said, trailing off meaningfully.

"You're my best friend Blaine, and you're the only person I trust."

"You're a manipulative bitch, I hope you know that," I coyly said, the corners of my mouth twitched upwards slightly. "You'll owe me so big for this." I added.

Kurt's smile softened. "I know." He repeated quietly.

"So when's this wedding and what do I have to do?" I asked.

"It's next week and...just act yourself."

I almost burnt my tongue on my coffee as I began to splutter,

"Next week? Next week?" I squeaked, as I started to wipe the coffee stains on my shirt. "Bit late notice don't you think?"

"Mhm," Kurt hummed, "I was supposed to tell you last month but it must have slipped my mind."

"It must have slipped your mind?" I repeated, sarcastically. I sighed once more, "How long is it for?" I groaned – half at my current news and half at the brown tinted dribbles on my shirt.

"Five days."

"What do you mean five days'?"

"I mean five days, Blaine."

Seriously, this had 'epic disaster' plastered all over it. Kurt's family were bound to find out within a few days.

"Do you really think you can fool your family long enough though?" I asked, a sceptical eyebrow raised as I watched Kurt fiddle around with a grain of rice. I heard his exasperated sigh. "We'll be staying at a hotel anyway, so nobody will know."

That seemed to summarise my plans. Turned out I'd be going to Lima.

Ergh, I thought I'd left that place for New York last year but no; I'd be going back.

You know? There were some days when I really wanted to strangle Kurt a little bit.