Aug. 19, 2013, 10:30 a.m.
Music in the air: Chapter 5 Temper and Confrontations
M - Words: 1,199 - Last Updated: Aug 19, 2013 Story: Closed - Chapters: 14/? - Created: Feb 25, 2013 - Updated: Aug 19, 2013 648 0 3 0 0
It's been nearly two weeks now and so far this summer is not going as planned. Kurt has been looking forward to this for a year, his last summer was a dream of praise, concerts and making friends, now it's just the opposite.
His voice lessons are a nightmare. He feels like Ms. Korokova is breaking him down just so that she can build him up from scratch. And it's not like Kurt isn't used to being the recipient of negative crap. When people shout insults at him he would lift his chin even higher and just give you a haughty look, but his singing teacher isn't like that. She is never intentionally mean, but every time Kurt opens his mouth during her lessons she tells him what he is doing wrong. Never anything right, just wrong. His singing has always been something he prided himself on being good at. Maybe that is why it stings so much worse than any homophobic slur or degrading comment. Kurt keeps asking himself whether he has been mislead all his life, that he is in fact no good. Needless to say his self confidence has taken a hit.
Another thing adding to the hopelessness he is feeling is that he apparently has not one ounce of creativity in his body when it comes to composing original music. They have had one task the first week, to put together a little melody, not more than a couple of bars, which might sound easy. However, when Kurt turns in his melody Mr. Zimmer informs him that the little piece is taken right out of some song he has never heard of before. Mr. Zimmer just pats his back and tells him it's an easy mistake. "You might hear something on the radio without paying it any attention, but it will get stuck in your subconscious," he says. Kurt wishes his subconscious would be a little more selective about what it picks up.
It doesn't help that Blaine is in the same class and that he is so good. Kurt is pretty sure that he hates Blaine fucking Anderson by now, with his sunny disposition, five pages of finished composition and his unassuming attitude. The boy is standing at the front of the classroom, talking to Mr. Zimmer, his curls setting Kurt's teeth on edge just because. "I haven't quite finished the orchestration on the bridge, so it's not a finished product, but you said to bring it in today so..."
Of course Mr. Zimmer asks Blaine to play some of his piece and the boy settles on the piano stool and effortlessly plays the most beautiful melody.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTJphhctolU
It pains Kurt to admit it, but he really loves the song even if he tries really hard not to. When Blaine tells Mr. Zimmer that he has some lyrics as well, but that he's not going to sing because 'he won't submit the rest of the class to his singing', Kurt is secretly intrigued. The feeling disappears quickly when the rest of the students fuss over Blaine and his song. He is not jealous, not at all, just because Blaine can write fantastic songs in a couple of days and everybody likes him...
Kurt's mood gets increasingly worse and the smallest things make him snap at his friends. Pretty soon they start avoiding him altogether; only Rachel and Wes seem to tolerate his mood swings. That's why it comes as a surprise when Sebastian comes up to him and starts up a conversation.
"I want you to sing on the Project." Kurt can hear the capital letter, but it doesn't make it any clearer what Sebastian is talking about. "What Project?"
Sebastian smiles, all white teeth, and Kurt wishes he would just spit out what he came to say and take his meercat face somewhere else. "Where have you been hiding lady gay? It was announced this morning that we are to do a group project with movie music. I figured that to give us an edge and to crush the Pop's we should do something they cannot. So I want us to do music from 'Farinelli' and you're a natural choice." The look Kurt shoots at him could have frozen hell. "Relax Kurt, I am not suggesting this because of your utter lack of sexual experience, I want your vocal range."
Had this been last year he would have been thrilled at the concept of being a soloist in a group project, but not now. "Piss off Sebastian!"
"Jeez Hummel, what crawled up your butt? Oh wait, that's it. You haven't had anything up your butt have you." Sebastian laughs. "I'd volunteer my services, but you're really not my type. I mean, you're so frigid my dick would get frostbites if it went anywhere near you."
Kurt has had enough. He has had to endure bullying and slurs all his life, but he never thought he would be targeted by someone that was on his team, so to speak. Sebastian is supposed to be on his side for crying out loud. He turns and hurries away, not caring if he looks weak. Running down the stairs he is in a haze of anger and ends up smashing into another body.
"You again!"
It's Finn.
"Hey, are you ok? You look kind of upset."
Kurt shakes his head, but there's no fooling this guy.
"Come on, I can see that you're upset. What happened?"
Finn leads him by the arm into the first rehearsal room on the ground floor. "Look, it's kind of hard here, like uhm a lot of pressure and stuff, but it's pretty cool to because you learn so much. What I mean is... you should be happy when you're here right? So something must be wrong..."
The giant teenager looks more confused by his speech than Kurt is and he is pretty confused. "It has just been a hard day, a hard week really. Its fine Finn, but it was nice of you to care." Kurt reaches out and touches his hand, and the second he does he knows it was the wrong move. Finn has gone stock still and he looks like he is about to be sick. "Uhm... dude, I'm not a fag, ok."
Kurt snatches his hand back, suddenly furious. It is the age old story of a full cup and this is the last drop that makes everything spill over.
"I am not a fag, I am gay! And, and just because I touch you, doesn't mean I am coming on to you or trying to spread my gayness to you ok! Stop being such a fucking Neanderthal!"
Breathing hard Kurt pushes past Finn and into the hallway. He needs fresh air and space. In the hallway he sees Blaine leaning against the wall, how long has he been there? "What the fuck are you looking at!" he yells as he passes him, storming out into the summer sun.
Comments
loved the chapter. poor kurt, he is having such a bad time. but can't wait for the next updates :)
Thanks for the review!I know, things will get better though.
oh yea forgot to mention it in the last review but i love your 'orchid in a bed of roses' analogy! =] man just when i was starting to really like finn he has to go and say something like that. also i feel badly for blaine.