I hated knowing something Kurt didn't but I knew that it was for the best to wait to tell him. It took another couple of weeks but Rachel did eventually tell Kurt she was pregnant, he smiled and told her he was happy for her before giving both her and Finn hugs but when we got home the night he cried in my arms. He was happy for his brother and sister-in-law but at the sad time he was jealous that they were going to be parents and we weren't ....at least not yet anyway. Every day things got a little easier for us but we still had set backs, one day not long after Kurt went back to work a co-worker of his asked how far along in the pregnancy our surrogate was and Kurt had a meltdown which led to Isabelle calling me and asking me to pick him up. I only went back to the coffee shop I sang at once but as that's where I was when I got the phone call and in my mind I associated that place with Kyle's death I looked at the stool where I sat when I sang and remembered feeling my phone buzzing in my pocket as Kurt tried to call me, I saw the table Santana and I had been sitting at and I remembered the barista calling out to me that Kurt was on the phone, I couldn't handle being there and the pain associated with the memories attached to it so I left and never returned.

A few months after we lost Kyle I was ready to try again and my gut told me Kurt was too but I was still hesitant about bringing it up with him in case I was wrong but judging from the look of longing he got every time he saw a sonogram of Rachel and Finn's baby I was pretty sure I wasn't wrong.

"Hey Sexy?" I asked as I held him one night.

"Hmm?"

"Umm...I think....no I know....I'm ready to try again..."

"Oh." He said softly.

"If you aren't yet that's ok, I can wait."

"I don't know Blaine, I mean I want to but I don't want it to seem like we're forgetting Kyle."

"Oh Kurt, of course we won't be forgetting Kyle we'll never forget him but I don't think we should let what happened to him hold us back from being parents. I think he would have wanted us to have another baby."

"Just give me a bit more time ok?"

"Of course." I replied kissing his head. It might not have been the answer I was hoping for but it wasn't a no so I guess that's a good thing.

The next day while Kurt went to work I busied myself doing household chores, I had become something of a house husband since I left my job and I wasn't really minding it although I was itching to find a regular singing gig again.

"I've been thinking...it's probably time for me to move out." Maria told me as we ate lunch together.

"Why?"

"Well I'm all healed now and you're going to want to try again soon which means you'll probably want the space for your new surrogate."

"Do you not want to be our surrogate anymore?"

"I do...I just thought you guys wouldn't want me to be, I mean I lied to you and I'm the reason Kyle died."

"Tell me one thing; did you ever think, even for a second, that your ex would do something to harm Kyle?"

She shook her head.

"And if you had known would you have gone there that day?"

"Of course not!"

"Exactly! We don't blame you Maria and when we're ready we'd still like you to be the one to have our baby."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure, besides you need us in your life, your taste in men sucks whereas we both have excellent taste."

She laughed softly. "OK, I'll stay...not forever, I still don't want to be in the baby's life after it's born but I'll stay until then."

"We have ourselves a deal." I said feeling relieved that she still wanted to be our surrogate and that she still wasn't planning on sticking around after the baby was born, I adore her I really do but Kurt and I don't want to share our kid with anyone, straight couples don't have to so why should we?

Another couple of months later we were having lunch with Rachel when her baby started kicking and she grabbed Kurt's hand and placed it on her stomach before he could even react I heard Kurt gasp when he felt the baby kick. When we got home that afternoon he wrapped his arms around me and whispered in my ear that he was ready.