"Blaine, I swear to god if you dont go up there and actually talk to him I will replace all of your hair gel with lube so fast-"

"Calm down, San, no need to bring out the big guns yet," Blaine rolled his eyes at her.

"Big guns," Santana snorted. "Oh, honey."

"Anyway," he emphasized, "I was planning to go back up there soon. Ive got some questions and I figured I should set up a consultation instead of asking my lesbian friends about safe sex between two guys. No offense, but your crude nature isnt exactly what I need when it comes to sex ed."

"Aw, my baby is growing up!" She wiped away a fake tear before pulling him into a bone crushing hug. "Im so proud, youre gonna be such a stud, aw. I only request one thing-" Santana pushed him away, "no sex while Brits and I are home. Text me a warning that youre about to get your dick wet and well find some way to occupy our time for the 15 minutes itll probably take."

"Oh my god."

Blaine disentangled himself from her iron grip and hurried out of the room to grab his keys and wallet

"Alright, 20 minutes tops," Santana called after him. "Ill give you the benefit of the doubt."

"Good bye , Santana," Blaine told her pointedly before slamming the door shut behind him.

The drive up to the health center did nothing to soothe Blaines nerves; he would never admit it to Santana, but the main reason he was going back was to see one Kurt Hummel, the apparent sexual health extraordinaire. All he wanted was to see Kurt again and get a few unanswered questions about- you know, sex off his chest.

You cant even think the word, you are so far from ready to do anything with anyone, Blaine thought to himself as he pulled into the parking lot. He all but jumped out of his car before he could psych himself out, locking his doors and hurrying toward the entrance. Luckily the woman from last time wasn't at the front desk to see him blushing again, but the man there this time shot him a vaguely amused look.

“Can I help you find something, sir?”

“Ah, no, thank you,” Blaine answered before shooting him a polite grin and making his way down the hall toward station three. He hesitated before he got to the final corner- what if Kurt wasn't working today? Shit. He hadn't thought of that.

Well, you need to set up an appointment either way, he told himself. Now or never.

Blaine rounded the corner and let out a sigh of relief at the sight of the all too familiar chestnut colored quiff in the window. The area was conveniently empty, so he took a deep breath and approached the counter.

“Hi,” he started, “I was wondering if there was any way I could see someone to answer some, uh, questions?”

“Could you be a little more specific?” Kurt smiled kindly.

“Some, um, some sex related questions?” He mended, cringing internally.

“We don't tend to have people on call for that kind of thing,” Kurt told him, digging around through the papers on the counter behind the window before producing a business card and pulling out a pen.

“But here is my extension and personal number if it's ever urgent. Did you need something answered right away?”

“Oh, uh, sure,” Blaine racked his brain to come up with a question that wouldn't be too crude. “Are condoms the only way to protect yourself or are they just the most effective?”

“For vaginal and anal sex- and even oral if you're looking at taking extra precautions,” Kurt answered and handed him the card, “we definitely recommend condoms over any other method, specifically to protect yourself and your partner from getting any kind of disease.”

“So there's no pill for men like there is for women?”

“Women have birth control and the morning after pill, also known as Plan B,” Kurt told him. “But those are more for preventing pregnancy than they are for preventing sexually transmitted diseases.”

“I see,” Blaine paused to try to come up with another question. “What about condom sizing? Do you just, like, measure it and go from there?”

“Exactly!” Kurt enthused. “Your length and circumference are the only numbers you need. You can usually find sizing charts online to save yourself the hassle of skimming through the labels at whatever store you go to.”

Blaine felt his face going hotter than before at the thought of Kurt condom shopping for himself and had to physically pinch himself to stop thinking about him measuring his own dick.

“Alright, um, that's all really,” he stepped back and gestured to the card. “Thanks for this, I'll- I'll text you.”

“I look forward to it,” Kurt winked and Blaine stumbled a bit. “Bye, Blaine.”

“Bye,” Blaine spun on his heel and walked calmly around the corner before pausing to slump against the wall and regulate his breathing.

On the bright side, he'd gotten Kurt's number.