"I hope you know you owe me like three favors for this," Blaine sighed into his phone, rolling his eyes at the cackle he got in response. "Im serious! Do you have any idea how embarrassing this is for me?"

"Brit likes it when I go down on her, what can I say," he could practically hear Santanas smirk through the phone.

"I did not need to hear that, oh my god," Blaine pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Cmon, Virgin Mary, just because you havent done it doesnt mean you get to spoil it for the rest of us."

"Shut up, Santana," he groaned. "Im hanging up on you."

"You love me!"

He tapped the end call button before taking a deep breath and finally getting out of his car; hed been sitting in the parking lot of the sex clinic for over twenty minutes now. Once hed parked, hed lost the last bit of nerve hed had and forced himself to call Santana to clarify everything he was supposed to do: go inside, find station number three, check in with the person at the desk, and tell them hes picking up a prescription for Santana Lopez.

The problem was that this was a sex clinic. And he wasnt even here for himself.

"You can do this," he told himself aloud as he approached the set of double doors. "Shes paying you, you can do this."

He shouldve known not to look so lost and embarrassed when he walked inside; the look of sympathy he got from the woman at the front desk made him feel like like a little kid.

"Hi, welcome to the Lima Heights Health Center, how can I help you?" She asked him with a polite smile.

"Um, where can I find station three?" Blaine wondered, hoping his face wasnt as bright as it felt. Santana so owed him.

"Go left and turn down the second hall to your right, then follow the red arrows until you see the sign," she told him.

"Thank you," he ducked his head and hurried away.

Red arrows, red arrows- there they are, Blaine followed them around a corner until he found a generic "Station 03" sign hanging down from the ceiling. Steeling himself for another awkward conversation, he approached the desk.

"Hi, can I help you?"

Shit. Did the universe hate him or something? Blaine would recognize that voice anywhere: Kurt Hummel, his high school crush, the secret and one sided love of his young life.

"Uh- um, Im here to, um, pick up a prescription for uh- Santana."

"Can I get a last name?" Kurt requested, seeming unaffected by Blaines presence.

"Right, sorry," he kicked himself, "Lopez. Santana Lopez."

"Well, Ms. Lopez, Im afraid I need to see some ID," Kurt winked. "Its frowned upon to let people pick up prescriptions for others unless theyre family or have some form of consent from the patient."

"I can call her?"

"That works," Kurt smiled. Blaine scrambled to pull his phone out and dialed Santanas number with trembling fingers.

"What do you want now, Blanderson?" She answered.

"Uh, they want proof that Im allowed to get the um, the- you know. The prescription for you," he told her.

"I havent heard you this nervous since that time I persuaded you to get black-out drunk with me! I expect details later," she told him. "Alright, hand me over."

"Hi, Ms. Lopez?" Kurt paused. "Yes, I just need you to clarify that Mr. Anderson here has your consent to pick up your prescription for-" he hesitated and checked his computer screen- "dental dams."

Blaine blushed, half with pleasure at Kurt remembering his last name and half with embarrassment at the situation. This was hands down the most awkward conversation hed ever had to be a part of.

"Alright. Thank you. Oh, yes- of course," Kurt handed the phone back to Blaine. "Ill be right back with her prescription."

"Yes?" Blaine asked as soon as Kurt was out of sight.

"Kurt Hummel is working at a sex clinic?" Santana shrieked. "Oh my actual god, the baby gay has grown up so much."

"Santana-"

"No, really! Brit and I tried to give him the queer initiation speech when he finally came out but all he did was stick his fingers in his ears and hum the theme song for Elmos World," she told him and Blaine resisted the urge to grin. The image sounded absolutely adorable.

Focus, he told himself.

"Queer initiation speech?" He wondered instead.

"You know, safe sex for gays," she sounded exasperated, as though this wasnt some ridiculous concept shed come up with on her own. "Which, by the way, you need to hear too."

"I think Im okay," Blaine told her. Kurt came back to the window and set the white paper bag on the counter.

"Signature," he mouthed, holding out a clipboard with a sheet of paper attached.

Blaine nodded and took it, tuning Santanas insistence that no, he was obviously not fine if he wasnt getting laid.

He signed his name and happened to catch the last bit of her speech, almost dropping his phone in the process of passing back the clipboard.

"-without it, no matter how desperately you want it in your ass, Blainers."

"Santana!" He choked out before hanging up. Kurt raised an eyebrow at him, but Blaine shook his head vigorously, knowing his face must be bright red with embarrassment but unwilling to explain it even a little.

"Thats my cue to go, thank you!" Blaine ducked his head and hurried toward the end of the hall before stopping dead and his tracks and turning around. He quickly walked back to the counter and picked up the prescription, certainly more red than before. Kurt was hiding his laughter and Blaine dropped his eyes to the floor, though he was quietly pleased to have made him smile- even at his own expense.

"Have a nice day!" Kurt called after him as he all but sprinted down the hall toward the exit.