Which brought him to the second thought, Kurt. It was Kurt who had first planted the seed in Blaine’s head. Kurt, who had talked of his dreams of going to New York, silently asking him to go along. It was Kurt who told him that he was good enough, and it was then Blaine felt it too. They’d do it together.

But that was years ago and Kurt wasn’t there, at least not with him.

Somewhere, though, in the giant city was Kurt. He probably hated Blaine more than anyone that he’d ever hated anyone in his entire life, but Blaine knew if he found him, he would make everything right. Because despite the years and the chances that had been destroyed, the idea of being so close to Kurt again made his insides rumble with excitement.

He never expected that on his first day at work, he’d run straight into Rachel Berry. Hell, he didn’t run into her, he was working with her. He was the second male lead and she was, of course, the female lead of the production that he’d flown to New York just a week before to audition for. He’d gotten the call that he’d been cast and within twenty four hours he had half of his room packed up and was saying goodbye to Ohio for good. He’d walked into the theatre the first time, walking through the rows of seats that would soon be full of hopefully adoring fans and then he heard her voice. He couldn’t forget it even after years of its absence from his ears. He turned immediately and watched her belt out beautiful notes that fluttered like butterflies through the auditorium.

Blaine had begun to make his way towards the stage and as the last note became only an echo against the walls, Rachel looked down and saw him, standing, watching, as her face, no longer smiling, looked like she’d seen a ghost.

But she talked to him. She told him about the last five years of her life and never once mentioned Kurt. And Blaine didn’t ask. It wasn’t until he had been there for a week that Rachel let Blaine’s ex-boyfriend’s name slip her lips and it was only to mention that they had a lunch date. Blaine could tell from the guilty look on Rachel’s face that she hadn’t intended to share that information.

“It’s okay, you know?” Blaine responded, “To mention him. It’s not like I don’t know that he’s your best friend, or in the city.”

“It’s just so awkward. I haven’t told him you’re here. And I feel like I’m keeping this big secret from him. Except I’ve barely seen him because he’s so busy trying to get a promotion and I spend so much time in this theatre that I might as well change my address.”

“Do you think he’ll mind?”

“He can’t control where you live or work Blaine. Even he knows that, and he’d never try to stop you.”

“But will he mind?”

“I think answering that breaks the best friend confidentiality clause.”

“Yeah,” Blaine sighed, “all right.”

“Blaine, I’m sorry, I just-”

“No, Rach, I get it. He’s your best friend and I’m someone from the past who has made some mistakes. I can’t expect you forget that.”

The conversation ended there followed by the entire company dancing around the front of the building before lunch. It was there that he laughed with Rachel and Colleen, it was there that he watched as Rachel’s face went from bright to concerned in a moment, it was there that he followed Rachel’s gaze and where his own landed on Kurt.

Blaine’s heart fluttered and squeezed at the same time as he saw him. His face a little older, but still as beautiful as Blaine had remembered; more beautiful than the pictures he still had were able to justify. His eyes still as mesmerizing as ever. Blaine wasn’t sure what Rachel said before she took off in direction of her best friend, grabbing him by the sleeve of his surely expensive shirt and hurrying them away, but it left him, mouth wide watching as the two figures turned the corner.

An hour later, when Rachel returned to the theatre and the tension immediately filled the air between her and Blaine. Neither of them could deny that Rachel spent most of the last sixty minutes of her life trying to explain Blaine’s presence in New York. Rachel having to additionally explain why she hadn’t told Kurt about him and then explain that Rachel wasn’t abandoning Kurt. Blaine knew Kurt; he knew how his mind worked. He and Rachel don’t talk for the rest of rehearsal.

It wasn’t until Blaine was heading towards the exit that he heard Rachel screaming excited and loud into her phone, jumping up and down. Blaine couldn’t help but to stop and watch curiously as Rachel spoke expressively into her phone. When she hung up she turned to catch his curious gaze.

“He got it! He got the promotion!” Rachel shouted running toward Blaine so excited to tell whoever would listen, “Kurt! He got the promotion at work! He’s having a party tomorrow night. You should come!”

“I don’t he wants me there Rachel.”

“He said I could bring a friend.”

“I’m sure I’m not what he meant.”

---------------------------

“That’s not what I meant when I said you could bring a friend,” Kurt said in a hushed voice as he dragged Rachel into the corner of his apartment. Blaine standing awkwardly as he watched Kurt steal Rachel away.

“Well, I don’t know a lot of people who know you so I brought Blaine.”

“You could have brought a stranger. I would have been flattered. And why did he agree to come?”

“Well, I didn’t exactly give him a choice. He was practically kicking and screaming the whole elevator ride up.”

“Do you enjoy watching the rest of the world suffer?”

“No,” Rachel said smirking, “just my friends.”

“You’re terrible. Just-Just don’t tell Joshua who Blaine is. In relation to me, I mean.”

“Why?”

“Just-because. Don’t go telling Joshua you brought my ex here.”

“At least go say hello to him. It’s rude not to.”

“Because, Hi I haven’t talked to you since you left me by a tree is an appropriate opener in this situation.”

“No, but hello is.”

Kurt shot her a look that let Rachel know that she was indeed right about what Kurt should do, but he wasn’t about to say it aloud.

Kurt approached Blaine hesitantly. Years had passed without a single word from the other and he was somehow supposed to simply go up to him say hello and pretend like they were friends. It wasn’t possible. They may have been best friends once upon a time, but now they were practically strangers.

“Hi,” Kurt said from behind Blaine

“H-hi, “Blaine said turning towards Kurt, completely shocked by Kurt’s presence, “Congratulations.”

“Thanks. H-How are you?”

“Fine.”

“Good.”

“You?”

“Good.”

“Good.”

“I didn’t know I’d be working with Rachel.”

“I know.”

“I didn’t know I’d find you.”

“I-I know.”

“But I was hoping I would.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to talk to you,” Blaine said. If this was his only chance to talk to Kurt, he had to put everything on the table.

“Really?” Kurt said sharply, taking a deep breath, “You’re a few years late for talking Blaine.”

“I know,” he said, Kurt’s words stinging deservingly, “But I’d really like it if you’d let me, just explain.”

“I don’t know, Blaine.”

It was then that Blaine spotted him. A tall blonde guy standing across the room talking to Rachel but he was looking now in their direction with an unmistakable scowl painted on his face, “There is a tall, blonde gentleman staring at me, or us, or you. He doesn’t look very happy.”

“That’s Joshua.”

“Your super secret admirer?”

“My boyfriend.”

“Oh.”

“I have to go. Uh, thanks-thanks for coming.”

As Kurt hurried away, Blaine could see Rachel moving in his direction, but Blaine needed to get out of that apartment, and fast. Kurt wouldn’t care if it was rude; he wouldn’t care at all. Because Kurt had a boyfriend. He exited Kurt’s apartment and stood outside the door for a moment to take everything in.

Blaine had always known this would happen. From the moment he walked out of Kurt's house five years ago, he knew that someone else would realize how amazing Kurt was and they'd sweep him off his feet and they'd ride off into the romantic sunset. It's what Kurt always wanted; it was who Blaine had always wanted to be. But back when they were about to graduate high school, and he was scared. Not of being that person to Kurt, but missing losing the chance.

It made absolutely no sense now that years had passed and he was able to think logically. He'd lost his chance and it was entirely his own fault. Teenage fears of the first and greatest love of your life leaving you heartbroken caused him to run away and he still ended up heartbroken. Blaine wished he could have a conversation with himself before he went over to Kurt's that day. He wanted to talk himself out of the stupid thing he was about to do. But instead he had to convince Kurt that five years and a bunch of stupid mistakes hadn't changed his feelings, and he still wanted to be the man to carry Kurt into the sun.

But there was a tall, blonde named Joshua who had stolen his opportunity to make everything right.

The door to the apartment opened and Blaine hoped it was Rachel. He wanted to get out of this building and home so he could wallow. But instead he was met with the same blonde that had been shooting daggers into him moments before for talking to Kurt.

“Hi,” Joshua said, “is everything all right? You left pretty quickly.”

“Uh, yeah. I was going to get some air and uh, make a phone call,” Blaine lied.

“Oh, well I wanted to introduce myself. I‘m Joshua” the blonde said extending his hand toward Blaine, “Rachel said you’re a friend of hers from high school.”

“Blaine,” he responded accepting Joshua’s gesture, “And yes.”

“So you’re friends with Kurt too?”

“Uh, yeah sort of,” Blaine answered. There weren’t really any words that described this relationship with Kurt that he could say to Kurt’s boyfriend.

“I bet you could tell some stories about how he was in high school,” Joshua said, “He doesn’t like to talk about it.”

Blaine laughed nervously, “Y-yeah.”

The door to the apartment opened and Kurt’s head appeared through the opening.

“There you are. Alexander is looking for you honey,” Kurt said sending his boyfriend a smile that quickly fell when he saw Blaine, “I’m sorry I didn’t see you there Blaine.”

“Blaine was just telling me that you were friends in high school. I’m going to try to get some stories out of him since you and Rachel won’t tell me any.”

“Blaine was in Glee Club with me and Rachel. They’re just going to be the same stories you’ve already heard a million times.”

“Oh, come on. I’m sure there is something.”

“No. There isn’t,” Kurt said sharply, “I’m going to go back inside. Joshua, Alexander said it was important.”

“I’ll be right in,” Joshua said watching the door close behind Kurt.

And Kurt seemed happy. Hell, he was happy; Blaine could tell. He knew Kurt well enough that he knew when Kurt was faking a smile or not. He wasn't faking when his face lit up as he smiled at Joshua. And part of him was happy for Kurt. Kurt deserved someone who made him happy. And when you love someone the way that Blaine loved Kurt, the way he'd always loved Kurt, you want them to be happy even if that means you aren't the one putting the smile on their face.

But dammit Blaine wanted to be that person. So bad.