June 18, 2012, 7:22 p.m.
Find Your Freedom In the Music: Chapter 9
M - Words: 1,786 - Last Updated: Jun 18, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 25/25 - Created: Feb 11, 2012 - Updated: Jun 18, 2012 340 0 0 0 0
The day after they flew home the Glee Club came over to welcome the boys back home. The gathering was a bit awkward and somber in the beginning but soon after they all started remembering the good times and the bad times they had had at McKinley and hey eased back into their comfort zones.
All of them had missed their graduation and Mr. Schuester’s funeral. They all realized that life really does go on - even though it seems that the world should stop and acknowledge the fact that no – life wasn’t the way it was supposed to be anymore. Rachel’s parents were hosting a graduation party for the group and they had just been waiting for Kurt and Finn to come home. They made plans to have the party this coming weekend which would be the 4th of July weekend and they also made plans to go visit Mr. Schue’s grave the next morning before everyone headed home for the evening.
When Burt got home from work that night he sat down to watch a game with Finn. Kurt wandered into the living room and sat down next to his dad. Burt had noticed changes in Kurt and had hoped that once they got back home he would go back to being himself but that wasn’t happening.
“Hey kid, what did you do today?” he asked.
“Everyone came over and we planned out graduation party and are all getting together to go visit Mr. Schue’s grave tomorrow.”
“Do you need money for a new outfit?” Burt had learned that every occasion whether big or small was the perfect excuse for a new outfit. Therefore, he was shocked when Kurt said, “No that’s ok. I will find something to wear in my closet.”
Finn and Burt just stared at each other because they had never heard Kurt turn down money for a new outfit before. “You feeling ok, Kurt?” asked Burt.
“Yeah, I think I’m just going to go take a shower and get ready for bed.”
“Okay, don’t forget to come down after you are done moisturizing to say goodnight.”
“Sure dad.” Twenty minutes later Burt got the second shock of the night. Kurt came down showered, dressed in pajamas and ready to call it a night. Burt had learned over the course of living with Kurt that it normally took Kurt about 2 hours to get ready for anything, either going out or going to bed. His face cleansing routine was an exact science that he never skimped on. It was truly a miracle that Burt’s heart didn’t just fail right then and there!
“Okay, dad I’m going to bed. Night Finn,” he said as he started back to his room.
Now – Finn was not known for being a deep thinker but even he had noticed changes in Kurt. He was as surprised as his dad that Kurt was different but he didn’t know what to make of the changes. For example, ever since they had been home Kurt pretty much wore only sweats or regular jeans and t-shirts. Finn hadn’t seen him in any of his skinny jeans or bondage outfits. His hair was combed but not styled like before and tennis shoes were all he wore whenever the need for shoes arose.
Burt sighed and followed Kurt to his room. “What’s the matter?”
“What do you mean dad,” replied Kurt as he crawled into bed.
“Kurt, you’ve always dressed like you own your own personal chocolate factory and your always messing around with all those expensive lotions and creams and “doing” your hair which always looks the same. I haven’t seen you do any of that since we’ve gotten home from California. Can you talk to me about it?”
Kurt’s eyes were swimming in unshed tears as he looked as his dad and said, “What is the importance of spending so much time doing silly, asinine things when people died dad? Mr. Schue is dead! My silly life is meaningless! Why spend time on my complexion when I have this scar running down my face! I look hideous! My lotions won’t change that. Will my life go back to “normal” if I wear “regular” clothes rather than cutting edge fashion designs? No. I’m different dad. I’ve changed and all those trappings and silly routines I did before mean nothing to me right now. I’ve realized that the things I need in life are my family and friends and I would rather spend those two hours it took to wash my face sitting down with you and Finn watching the game or talking to Carole.”
Burt didn’t know how to comfort his son so he just held him until he had cried himself to sleep. Dr. Steele had given Burt a list of psychiatrists in the Lima area that specialized in Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Finn had mentioned that talking to the military shrinks had really helped him understand what had happened. Unfortunately, Kurt had been in a coma and had not benefited from speaking to the specialists. He would have to find that list tomorrow morning he thought as he tucked Kurt into bed and made his way downstairs.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Burt headed to the shop after dropping off the boys at the cemetery. They would catch a ride home with Puck. Kurt insisted he was able to drive but the doctors had said he shouldn’t drive until his eye was completely healed and he didn’t have to wear his pirate patch (as Finn referred to the eye patch) any longer.
He was changing the oil on a new Mustang when he heard the phone ringing. He barely got to it before it went to voicemail. “Hummel’s Tires and Lube, Burt speaking. How can I help you?”
“Uh – Hi. This might sound strange but I was wondering if you know a Kurt Hummel?” asked the caller.
“Who is this?”
“My name is Blaine Anderson. I am a student at Dalton Academy and I met Kurt at Nationals in LA and he gave me his cell phone but my cell phone was lost in the explosion and I’ve been trying to get a hold of him.”
Burt knew that Kurt had been bullied at school and was the brunt of many jokes from the jocks at McKinley. He wasn’t about to serve up his baby boy to this Blaine person on a silver platter without talking to Kurt first. “Kurt is my son,” he said.
“Oh wow – I hoped – I mean could I please speak with him?”
“Listen here kid. I don’t know who you are or if Kurt even knows you so what I can do is take down your number and let Kurt decide whether he wants to contact you or not. How’s that sound?”
“Thank you Mr. Hummel. That’s sounds fair. The last time I saw Kurt was few minutes before the explosion and he had just waved goodbye. I heard about Mr. Schuester but I was wondering if you could tell me how he is doing. Is he okay?”
“Kurt’s had a rough time but he is ok now. He can tell you all about it if he is so inclined. If there isn’t anything else, young man I really need to get back to work.”
“Oh, okay. Goodbye.”
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxox
Kurt was raw. He felt like his skin was one big nerve ending and he couldn’t find a way to get comfortable of find peace. It had taken all of his control to not throw himself on Mr. Schue’s tombstone and beg him for forgiveness. No matter how many times everyone told him it wasn’t his fault he knew – deep down inside – he knew it was his fault Mr. Schue was dead. He fell asleep as soon as he got home. He was so emotionally exhausted and he could feel a migraine coming on that he took some painkillers knowing that they would make him groggy and eventually knock him out.
He dreamed that he was floating on clouds and all of a sudden he heard his mother’s voice calling him. He turned and saw her beckon him towards her. There was a man standing with her and as he got closer he saw that it was Mr. Schue. He started crying and stuttering, “I’m s-s-sorry….I-I’m sorry…it’s all my fault…”
He felt his mother’s arms around him and smelled her perfume and she was soothing him and telling him everything was going to be okay.
Mr. Schue started talking to him letting him know that he didn’t blame Kurt for his death and that his time on Earth had expired. He was just eternally grateful that he had been able to save a Kurt’s life before he had died.
“Kurt – saving you was the best thing I have ever done. I would have died that day no matter the place or time. It is as simple as that Kurt. My time was up. I am just glad I was able to be there for you when you needed me. You are destined to make a difference Kurt. You matter and please don’t give up on life.”
Kurt felt his mother’s hands rubbing circles on his back just like she used to when he was younger and had trouble sleeping. He felt the warmth of her hands and it not only soothed him physically but emotionally as well. He nuzzled into her warmth but instead of her perfume he smelled oil, grease and his father’s aftershave.
“Hey kid – you were mumbling and moaning in your sleep. You okay?” asked his father.
Kurt sat up blinking, “Dad? I dreamed about mom and somehow she’s hanging out with Mr. Schue….which was kind of confusing…I felt a migraine coming on and took some pills and I guess I must have dozed off. I must have been dreaming or hallucinating or something. It was really strange but I feel better. As a matter of fact I’m starving!”
“Carole just finished dinner so wash up and come downstairs. Oh, before I forget do you know a Blaine Anderson?”
“Yeah, I met him at Nationals. Why?”
“He called the shop looking for you and I promised I would give you his contact information. So if you want his number be downstairs in five minutes,” Burt didn’t say anything else as he turned and walked downstairs but he did notice that Kurt flew off the bed and ran into the bathroom.