Chapter 15a:

When Kurt woke up he was greeted with a post-it note stuck to his forehead. He frowned and stretched, trying to peer up to see the reversed writing through the flimsy paper, making his eyes cross uncomfortably before peeling it off.

                                           SHOWER!

Whilst not the most romantic of instructions, Kurt couldn't help but smile at the shouted order on the note, manoeuvring himself awkwardly off the couch and glancing around the apartment for any signs of the other man. He was greeted with only silence as he stumbled blearily and confused towards the bathroom wondering where the hell Blaine had gone and feeling a little sinking in his heart that he had been deserted again.

 Standing under the too hot jets of the shower and allowing it to ease his tense muscles, Kurt thought back to the evening before. His mind jumped at the memory of himself handing the black notebook to Blaine and insisting he read it. His stomach clenched in fear. Why had he done it? That book had been the most intimate part of himself. It was everything. Every sad little pathetic trail of evidence that lead to Kurt at this final moment in time.

 And Blaine had read it. And had left him.

His breath hitched in a strangled gasp at the realisation that Blaine had run; had seen him laid bare and weak and understood now that he really wasn't a man worth battling for. The water pounded off his skin, roughly searing heat into his bones and reminding Kurt that he still felt things; still had one more day left to feel things, even if it would be spent alone.

 Finally, reaching behind him to turn off the water, Kurt stepped out into the swirling clouds of steam that were evaporating around the bathroom and wrapped himself in a towel. Mirrors now filled him with a sense of dread so he'd avoided looking up as he cleaned his teeth over the sink, instead clutching the basin and letting his thoughts fog his brain with the usual negativity.

It meant that the message, carefully drawn into the condensation on the mirror, had nearly disappeared by the time Kurt finally glanced up and stumbled backwards a little in surprise. Steeling himself against the pain that still hit his chest at the lack of his own face staring back at him, Kurt inched closer to read the message, feeling his heart surge at the realisation that Blaine had written it. Blaine was still here. He hadn't left.

1. Brush teeth

2. Scrub face

3. Style hair

4. Muster COURAGE

Kurt's face broke into a wide grin as he took in the list of instructions, eyes settling a little mistily on the final word. It was a word that Blaine himself had said to him twenty-four hours ago and one that Kurt knew was echoed in the pages of the book that he had etched his soul into weeks before.

Finally shocked out of his inertia, Kurt burst eagerly into the bedroom, only to discover a neat pile of fresh clothes laid out for him. His eyes scanned the apartment urgently as he scrambled to get dressed, but once again the air hung silent and empty. His skin prickled in anticipation. What was Blaine doing? He knew they should be working out final strategies, talking about preparing Kurt for the inevitable; but for the first time in all of these past few weeks, Kurt felt excitement bubbling under this flesh and he shoved away any painful thoughts.

The fridge held the next instruction; the post- it fluttering slightly with the breeze that drifted in from the already warm spring morning that was unfolding outside.

                                      Walk up to Cedar Point in

                                              the morning sunshine. Pause at

                                                3 random  places  on the way, 

                                              sit and look back over the town.

 The light dappled through the trees as Kurt took his second ordered stop of the mission and he could feel the air humming around him. Intermittent calls echoed across the foliage from the early morning birds and the distant murmur of traffic that he had been able to previously distinguish on his first stop, could no longer be detected. Cicadas buzzed, unseen, in the neighbouring plants and the whole hillside track seemed electrically charged.

 Kurt had walked up this hill many times in the last few months but had never really taken time to pause on his way up; the destination always seeming more important than the journey. Now though, as he sat against the rough bark of tree he'd chosen; one that was positioned looking out through a gap in the brush over the town, he realised how much he had been missing.

 Life moved around you; not always forward, not always in a straight line towards a goal but more fluid.

 He closed his eyes briefly, breathing in the pine-wood sent from the bark beneath him and relaxing his neck back. Allowing his eyes to drift open again, Kurt stared up in almost awed wonder at the cathedral spire that seemed to be forged out of the stretching branches reaching up towards the sky.

 Kurt Hummel had never believed in a God, or in spirituality really; he believed in human beings and morality and passion, but as he allowed the warmth of the sun to spread through his veins, he felt that perhaps there was some power outside of all of this. The world was certainly more inexplicable than he'd ever previously thought.

***

The water of the lake was lapping gently against the sandy, dusty shores, when Kurt finally reached the top of Cedar Point. He'd always marvelled at the existence of a lake up here in amongst the brush at such a high position over the town. He knew it was manmade, a reservoir constructed by the city years ago, but it seemed so peacefully placed amongst the natural landscape that it was as if it had always meant to be there. It fit, even though it was gate-crashing.

 He didn't have time to fully contemplate the waters though as he was distracted by the sight of Blaine. The other man was lying down on his back on the red and blue blanket Kurt recognised from the apartment, staring up at the sky in the middle of the clearing. To the left of him was one of the boxes from the flat, which despite saying ‘books/DVDs' scribbled on the outside in Blaine's messy hand, was now filled with various breakfast foods and a carton of orange juice.

 "Come and lie down with me"

 Kurt was startled by the soft, recognisable notes of Blaine's voice, his head still angled towards the sky. Without a word, he moved forward and carefully lay down beside the other man, bodies warm against each other but not quite touching. Neither spoke for a little while, just watched the tiny wisps of clouds float across the sky and merge into shapes and patterns.

 "My father first brought me up here on a camping holiday when I was nine years old. We'd lived in Lima then and I'd never camped a day in my life before. I think he thought it would take my mind off things. Off my mother." Kurt felt his heart surge as he recounted the story.

 "I was absolutely hopeless." He laughed lightly and Blaine turned his head slightly to smile at him before looking back skywards. "I kept moaning about needing to shower and how my skin was burning and going dry. Oh God and I'd tried to pee outside on the second night and ended up doing it in a nettle bush. I was covered in all of these angry red blotches and my dad had to smother me in lotion to cool me down."

 Kurt was giggling now, his body shaking slightly beside Blaine.

 "It was a complete disaster....but I remember it as one of the happiest weeks of my life. On the third evening, my dad had taken me night fishing on the other side of the lake. I remember being cold and feeling kind of damp and so he'd scooped me up on to his lap in the big squishy fishing chair that I secretly loved."

 "We had a tiny lantern and you couldn't hear anything; no other life except the water popping occasionally with fish coming to the surface. I remember feeling his flannel shirt against my back and his chin resting on my head. He had his arms really tight around me and all he'd said was "You and me Kiddo. It's you and me against the world" I remember looking down at his forearms and thinking how strong they looked and feeling utterly, completely safe." He breathed in a deep breath, savouring the memory. "I love it here."

 Blaine reached for his fingers. Their hands laced together in the shared moment before he pulled himself into a sitting position and turned to poke the other man in the ribs.

 "Right you! Up! I've got breakfast and my stomach's been waiting impatiently for you to get your butt up here for the last two hours. Feed me!"

 Kurt allowed his face to break into a wide grin but he still tugged back against Blaine, whining and rolling his eyes.

 "Nooo.....slave driver. God I wake up to paper stuck on my face and Sargent Blaine's military orders and now you're forcing me to eat. Let me sleep bully!"

 "Private Hummel you will get up this instant and eat, goddamn you! Do it for America soldier!" The playful slap he administered to Kurt's thigh shot a tiny jolt of heat through the other man as he rolled his eyes again and exaggeratedly hauled himself into a sitting position.

 "Fine, Fine I'm up. What now oh lord and master?"

 "Oh are we changing analogies now? Does that make me King instead of Sargent?"

 Kurt shot him a mock withering look. "Kings do NOT have hair like that and grass stains on their pants Blaine. Now for god sake feed me!"

 Diving into the box, Blaine pulled out various foods, each with a flamboyant "Ta da!" and placed them reverently on the blanket between them. Kurt actually found his mouth watering at the selection of bagels and pastries and fruits that scattered the rug and his stomach growled embarrassingly loud in the empty clearing.

 "God Kurt. You sound like a bloody wild animal. Should I be scared you're about to devour me!"

 Wiggling his eyebrows comically, Kurt pretended to appraise Blaine.

 "No. You're fine. I like my meat a little less public school boy and a lot less hairy"

 "Fuck you Hummel!" Blaine grinned through a mouthful of cinnamon bagel.

 They relaxed into comfortable silence, peppered only with the sounds of chewing and the odd slurp of juice, amongst the relaxing murmurs of the world around them. Eventually Blaine spoke, pulling them back into the present by leaping up and dusting off his now rather dusty pants.

 "Right Mr. That's phase one of today done with and so it's on with phase two. Finish up! We're on a schedule."

 Kurt watched as Blaine's back bent over the box, replacing everything they hadn't yet eaten and rolling up the blanket. A small smile danced across his lips at the sight, warmth seeping into his skin. He didn't ask what the plan was; he didn't need to know.

 Watching the back of Blaine retreating down the path, jostling the box in his hands, an unrecognisable throb started to tremor in his veins. He felt light start to whisper around him. He watched Blaine throw an exasperated look over his shoulder, followed by the sexiest wink Kurt thought he'd ever seen and he swallowed excitedly.

"Are you coming with me or not?"