Feb. 14, 2013, 4:01 a.m.
Secret Urges: Chapter 7
E - Words: 3,591 - Last Updated: Feb 14, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 10/10 - Created: Jun 11, 2012 - Updated: Feb 14, 2013 1,198 0 0 0 0
The Warblers took their defeat with dignity, but it was obvious that they were sad about the outcome of the Regionals competition. Kurt and Blaine did such an amazing job singing the duet, the onstage chemistry was explosive and their voices mixed together perfectly. But after seeing the New Directions sing with such passion, the judges’ choice of the winner was obvious.
Kurt wasn’t sad for long. In fact, after Pavarotti’s funeral ceremony and the long walk around the Dalton grounds, Blaine stopped beneath a mighty oak and, smiling sheepishly, pressed his lips chastely against Kurt’s. Kurt smiled into the kiss, slid his tongue in between Blaine’s parted lips, and decided he was never going to get used to this feeling. His stomach fluttered as he realized how many times they sat under this oak before, and now they could kiss right under it whenever they wanted, because Blaine was finally his.
Blaine wasn’t sad at all. He knew it was a little insensitive in regard to Pavarotti and his fellow Warblers who put such great faith in him to win the competition, but the only thing he cared about right now was Kurt. His previous obliviousness about Kurt now transformed into a complete obsession. Kurt was a magnet that attracted him wherever he was. During classes the smallest things - a casually uttered French word, a reference to last-century fashion, a mention of a singing bird - all made him think of Kurt, and all his carefully accumulated concentration crumbled apart, as he remembered the taste of Kurt’s lips as they kissed the night before. He could sense his presence in the packed cafeteria, and immediately rushed to him, bumping into people, pushing his way quickly until he was finally there, beside Kurt, casually touching his shoulder or hand and craving to kiss him all over. Kurt would catch his eye, giggle and whisper “Not now, Blaine” and the secrecy, the intimacy, the promise of later made Blaine’s heart beat just a little bit faster.
They decided not to make their relationship public for some time, because that way it felt more real, more theirs, more serious. But one day, after Kurt accidentally let a tiny fact about a certain kiss slip to Rachel, the news traveled at the speed of light, and soon all of the McKinley girls knew, and he was practically kidnapped by them from his dorm room that very same night for an evening of discussing Blaine’s sudden illumination and pretending not to hear Santana’s remarks about his perfect ass.
This meant that Blaine was left alone. He took a long shower, singing at the top of his lungs, messing up lyrics and drifting from song to song, paying attention only to that great feeling of omnipotence that spread in his chest, like fresh butter on a hot toast. He sang into the shampoo bottle, and upon finishing, waved at the imaginary crowd of millions. Hair dryer in one hand, comb in the other one, Blaine held one last performance behind the mirror, when suddenly he met his own eyes in the reflection. A bubbly laugh escaped his throat and, to finish this complete silliness, he shamelessly winked at himself. After all, he was acting like a loony only because he was in love.
Afterwards he changed into sweatpants and t-shirt and returned to bed. Getting cozy under the sheets after a long day was the best reward, but it was still early to sleep. Blaine opened the laptop and checked Facebook. As customary, he poked back a few people, whished someone a happy birthday, scrolled through the newsfeed, lingered back to his page. Then it hit him. Why the hell not? Without thinking much, he changed his "Single" status to “In a relationship with Kurt Hummel”. He opened his iTunes, and tried to find the perfect song that would prepare him to the hurricane of responses that were on the way.
5 minutes later his phone buzzed with a new message.
From: Kurt
Thank you very much! You just made a bunch of teenage girls shriek! My ears are permanently damaged… They won’t stop saying how cute we are!
Blaine grinned and clicked on Kurt Hummel’s page, finding a happily accepted proposal. Seeing “Kurt Hummel is in a relationship with Blaine Anderson” on top of his page, no matter how ridiculously childish it seemed, made Blaine smile all impossibly wide.
He typed a quick message in response.
But we are cute :)
The replies were all sorts of fun to read. There were “congratulations”, and “finally”s, and “oh my god”s and a myriad of likes. Trent’s message made him chuckle “So what are you guys doing all locked up in your room now…hmm… I think I hear kissing noises”. Just as Blaine replied with “That’s from David and Wes’ room”, a sudden Skype call startled him.
- Hi, little brother! – Cooper’s blurry face appeared in the video chat.
- Hi, Coop.
- So tell me, why do I have to find out about something that important from Facebook?
- I don’t kiss and tell, - replied Blaine and put out his tongue.
- Oh, shut up. So what happened? How did you finally managed to free your head from your ass?
- You want the whole story? It all started in year 1960, when The Beatles were formed in Liverpool, a fact you are well aware of.
- Cut the crap, squirt, - ordered Cooper, but his tone was friendly.
- …And half a century afterwards, Kurt Hummel pushed the doors of the common rooms open, and sang Blackbird with tears in his eyes, - Blaine sighed and decided to finish seriously. - And something touched me deep inside, and I felt as if I couldn’t live without him anymore.
- I don’t know if you just made that up. It’s either terribly awful or really moving, - Cooper seemed genuinely confused.
- It’s what really happened. And then I kissed him.
- What? In the common rooms while he was crying?
Blaine laughed. As much as he loved joking around with his brother, he was probably one of the few who deserved to hear the whole story. Cooper told him "the “you move me” thing was cool, bro, but cheesy as hell." Also he congratulated Blaine in finally getting the clues, when everyone else has been referring to Kurt and Blaine as an old married couple for months.
- So tell me, Blainers, now that you’re in a loving committed relationship, did you hide that stack of magazines in a safe place? I mean, the ones that I bought you for your sweet sixteen?
Blaine groaned and covered his face with his hands. He would never admit to his brother that those magazines always resided under his mattress and have turned out to be a useful material for the dirty fantasies. Thankfully, the video suddenly went fuzzy and Cooper’s face disappeared briefly. It returned though, and Cooper stated that he had to go, and they quickly said their goodbyes.
Blaine sighed, but the thought of the magazines didn’t leave his mind. He closed the laptop, and lay on his belly to get them from under the mattress. He hasn’t actually managed to look at them in a while, afraid that Kurt was going to catch him again. He wasn’t going to jerk off at the first opportunity like an uncontrollable animal, but a quick look at pretty boys did no harm, right?
He opened it at random and found a page he really liked, a page on whose conscience lay a lot of orgasms. The boy in the picture was young, and his body was not as perfect as the other models’. That’s what Blaine liked the most, the relative truthfulness. He was sitting on the bed, a pair of boots that made his legs seem longer, with a hand resting on the spread thighs and an obvious erection hidden in a short pair of boxers. Blaine’s own cock twitched with interest, but he tried his hardest to ignore it.
The model wasn’t particularly handsome, but good lord was he sexy. He had a smirk on his face, a smirk that stated a clear dominance that could only be interpreted as I will fuck you against the wall and you will scream with pleasure. Blaine’s dick was now half-hard and he pressed the side of his palm to his boxers to relive some pressure.
Just as Blaine thought to stop staring and close the magazine once and for good, a thought short-circuited his brain.
Kurt has the same exact smirk. That smirk that appears when he sees a mismatched scarf on a girl that states that she is clearly wrong. That smirk that emerged when Joseph failed to reach a high note during a Warbler practice. That smirk of pure superiority. Blaine imagined Kurt’s face mere inches away from his own while he lay pinned down to the bed, and his lips slowly curving out in that precise smirk. Oh no, and he was hard now, so hard just at the mere thought of Kurt on top of him, completely naked and fiercely possessive. It was only the second time he thought of Kurt that way, but it seemed clear now that dominant Kurt was his biggest fantasy.
He heard the key turn in the lock, and hurried to stuff the magazines back where they were and cover himself with a blanket.
- Hello, my dear friend and roommate, - Kurt greeted him from the door. He walked to the bed and gave Blaine a small peck on the cheek.
- Hi, did you have a good time?
- Yeah, the best, - Kurt placed his bag on the bed, - But I don’t agree with the girls on the point that you seem taller when you’re on stage.
- Hey! No allusions to me being short are allowed in this room! – Blaine tugged Kurt by the sleeve, and helped him get out of the jacket. Then grabbed his arm and tugged it too, and Kurt tumbled on top of Blaine with a loud yelp. He smacked Blaine on the arm in a playful manner, but then hugged him close.
- It’s okay, dear, at least I told them that your outstanding kissing skills compensate for the shortness.
- Oh really? Which ones? These, - Blaine kissed Kurt gently, slowly, applying barely any pressure, - Or these? – he proceeded to open his mouth and hungrily lick at Kurt’s bottom lip, and then met his tongue, breathing harshly through his nose that was pressed into Kurt’s soft cheek.
Kurt was breathless. Every kiss was a blessing, every single one was perfection, and he would never get used to Blaine kissing him like that, with unadulterated enjoyment, as if he was savoring Kurt like an ice-cream and melted him with every lick. He wasn’t used to the flirting either, the teasing as if there was nothing to hide now, as if they knew each other all their lives.
- Could you repeat that please? I didn’t quite get it, - Kurt said, and smirked.
Blaine seemed to freeze for a second, staring at his face with dark eyes, while Kurt’s heart was going crazy. Then Blaine reached for him, kissed him again, and pressed his hand to Kurt’s neck, urging him closer, until he was lying on top of Blaine. They kissed more, bumping a little bit into each other, licking and tasting, their mouths already feeling raw. They parted for breath, but Blaine didn’t stop, he pressed little kisses to Kurt’s cheek and jaw and neck. Kurt shivered at how good that felt and moaned right into Blaine’s ear. Blaine began to suck at his neck, tracing his tongue, while the fingertips were drawing unclear patterns on Kurt’s collarbone.
And suddenly a few things happened. Blaine reached up and kissed Kurt’s ear and nibbled at his ear lobe. Kurt’s hips snapped forward automatically at how good that felt and he realized that he was hard. He also realized that there was something nudging his thigh, and that meant Blaine was hard too.
The thought made him light-headed and he pulled away immediately.
- We, we need to cool off, - he squeaked in a high-pitched voice, praying he didn’t sound pathetic.
- Yeah, we do, - Blaine replied, exhaling hard, his pupils still black as darkness.
Kurt scrambled to the other part of the bed, and sat stiffly, still very red in face. He never thought dating a roommate would be so awkward. He had felt Blaine’s boner through layers of clothes. What should they do now?
Blaine tried to calm down, unsuccessfully. He thought of something to say, anything that could make the situation better, but there was nothing left in his mind besides Kurt’s smirk and how painfully turned on it made him, besides sexy models and hurriedly tucked magazines that could be easily discovered, and besides his enormous sense of guilt.
The moral battle inside of Blaine was eating him alive, until he sighed, and looking at his hands, began seriously.
- Kurt, I need to tell you something.
- What?
- When you were away, I was looking at some magazines that I have - I did not do anything, I was just looking, - he looked up apologetically, - I wasn’t even going to do anything. I just thought you should know. I don’t want you to accidentally find them and overthink, and get to the wrong conclusions.
- Magazines?
- Uhm, yeah.
- Like… with men?
- Pretty much.
Kurt was silent for a moment.
- You know, - he started tentatively, - I think I speak for the both of us, when I say that I’m really new to all this relationship stuff. And sex stuff. And boundaries. I’m not going to restrain your freedom or something, and I know that they don’t mean anything to you, at least I hope so, but you thinking of other men is a little bit painful.
Blaine was freaking out internally. He screwed everything up again, didn’t he? He succeeded in not only ruining his first real relationship, but also a precious friendship. He made a motion to reach for Kurt’s hand, as if by touching him he could express how sorry he felt, but stopped himself in the last second.
- …I actually never saw a magazine of that kind before, - Kurt muttered, averting his eyes.
Blaine’s eyes shot up to see a flush on his boyfriend’s cheeks. Kurt settled his back to the headboard and placed his hand where Blaine could easily reach him. What Blaine did was cuddle closer to Kurt and put his head in the nape of his neck.
- Do you want to see them? – he asked in a tiny voice.
Kurt nodded briefly. Blaine reached down and pulled out the magazines from their hiding place again.
There was a guy holding a whip on the first one and Blaine thought that if Kurt was just distressed earlier, now he’s going to think his boyfriend is some sort of pervert and become completely terrified. But he decided to be honest, no matter what.
Kurt stared. Blaine turned the page. Kurt still stared. In silence, they looked at the equally gorgeous models in various positions, with different accessories, wearing a diverse amount of clothes. Kurt’s face was flushed red and in deep concentration. He looked like his goal was to memorize every little detail on all the pages.
When they reached a photograph of a stark naked guy standing under a shower, with his mouth open and an amazing perky ass on display, Kurt broke down and hid his face in his hands.
- How do you expect me to compete with this?
Blaine immediately threw the magazine away and faced Kurt.
- Kurt, what? Who ever said it was a competition? I can’t believe I made you think that’s what it was! Kurt, there’s no competition, because you’re the only thing that matters to me! I just wanted to show you this stuff, because that’s part of who I am, or who I was, - he corrected himself quickly, - you may call me a pervert or something, but that’s just what I liked to do.
Blaine looked at Kurt, and tried to think of anything that will make him feel better, anything that will make this right. Kurt still had his face hidden in his hands and wasn’t responding, so Blaine got up and grabbed a black marker from his desk and hurried to the bed again.
- But now I don’t care anymore, - he announced, and took a random magazine, which happened to have the guy with the whip on the cover.
Kurt peeked through his fingers, and saw Blaine drawing a huge afro on the head of the model, and transforming the whip into a bouquet of flowers in his hand.
- Blaine, what are you doing? – Kurt finally asked with unmasked curiosity.
- I’m just… I don’t care about this stuff as much as I care about you, and I don’t want to lose you over something that stupid.
He turned the page and drew a wizard-like beard and a space suit on another shirtless boy. Kurt was observing his moves with interest, as if he was a cat trying to understand a human that is reading a book. Blaine caught his eye and stretched out his hand, offering him the sharpie.
- Wanna try? It’s your turn.
- No, - Kurt replied with a smile, - give me the red one.
They spent a good hour laughing and drawing, adding crazy details to the pages, trying to make every next picture more unique than the last one. The tension dissolved completely and Blaine mentally sighed with relief. He didn’t want to be a failure in this relationship. For a completely new relationship he already managed to commit plenty of unforgivable mistakes before it even started. He only hoped that Kurt wasn’t mad at him.
He peeked at Kurt’s new masterpiece, that featured the two men drinking tea, dressed in Victorian clothes. The punctilious attention to details was so undeniably Kurt’s style that Blaine couldn’t help laughing.
- God, Kurt, I love you, - the phrase escaped his mouth, but before he could panic and take it back, his heart told him not to. He loved Kurt, everything be damned, it was true and he felt it with every fiber of his being.
Kurt stopped drawing abruptly and turned to Blaine, the shock clearly written on his face. He glanced down to the guy Blaine was giving a makeover to at the moment, who had a gigantic bowtie and was holding an Adele vinyl record that was covering his entire, previously almost entirely naked, crotch area.
- I have no idea why, but I love you too, - Kurt declared, with a flush on his cheeks.
Blaine scooted closer and taking Kurt’s face in his hands kissed him long and sweet, and loved the way Kurt kissed back and hugged him by the waist, like he was tiny and fragile, and deserved the maximum of care.
Later they lay back on the bed full of caricatured porn magazines. Kurt played with the curls that escaped from the gel prison on Blaine’s temples, and Blaine counted the barely visible freckles on Kurt’s cheeks.
- I didn’t want to ruin your magazines, dear, really. The models were actually handsome, - Kurt chuckled, looking at the mess on their beds.
Blaine quirked his eyebrow in question.
- That’s why, so you can fulfill your primary instincts, from now on you are allowed to think about a certain boyfriend of yours. I don’t mind, - said Kurt with a fake firmness, until in turned into smiles and blushes, and then ducked his head into Blaine’s neck, in an attempt to hide himself.
- Wow, Kurt, - of all the things Blaine was expecting, this wasn’t even an option, - Can I borrow that pamphlet of yours? Because it seems to have turned your world upside down.
- No, you have turned my world upside down. I don’t care because it’s you, I trust you and I love you, - Kurt whispered, his voice trembling a little. - It feels so good to say that, - he laughed breathlessly.
- I love you too, - Blaine stated, and added smugly. - And you can think of me too, if you want to, even with a whip or a pair of handcuffs, I won’t mind at all. Quite the contrary, actually.
Kurt turned to face Blaine silently and gave him a meaningful look, before they both erupted into giggles.