His dorm was very nice and his roommate even nicer. Brett Miller was a tall, thin, nerdy looking fellow with huge red framed glasses and zero fashion sense – something he was quite proud of apparently. Kurt's friendship with Brett had a rocky start when Kurt first walked into his dorm room and spotted his new roommate, stating there was no way he could room with someone who thought it was okay to match a bright orange plaid shirt with green and white checkered skinny jeans. Just the sight of the horrendous outfit made him want to faint.

Brett's reply of 'don't mock my artistic statement', to which Kurt replied 'what artistic statement? That you don't know how to dress and want everyone to experience the new 'clothing vomit' craze' led to an almost half hour long argument. It was quite ridiculous honestly.

In the end Brett pulled out a few pieces of his artwork and pointed out that while he may use lots of colors that did not match, his flashy, color clashing pieces did just what he intended them to do: catch people's attention and make them think, make them curious. He explained that his terrible mismatching outfits and his artwork were an extension of himself, an expression of parts of who he was as a person. Brett questioned Kurt then asking how weren't Kurt's nicely put together fancy outfits just a way to express himself as well.

Kurt figured Brett had a point. That did not change the fact though that Brett's outfit had Kurt wanting to cry.

Eventually Kurt just accepted the fact that he was going to have to deal with having a roommate that did not know how to dress. They went with the 'you don't try to change me and I won't try to change you' policy.

Luckily, at least, Brett was very intent on keeping things clean and neat about their dorm. It was a big room with an attached bathroom. Thankfully there were plenty of drawers in the bathroom so Kurt did not have to feel too bad about having all his skincare and other facial products in there. Brett was amused watching Kurt put all his stuff in the bathroom.

"So...you use all that stuff?" Brett asked, chuckling as he watched Kurt organize things neatly.

"Yeah." Kurt replied, shrugging.

"Not meaning to be offensive or anything...but I feel like I'm rooming with a girl, cause I don't know many guys who have this much stuff to keep in the bathroom, or who have as much clothing as you do." Brett picked up a random bottle of moisturizer and read the label on the back before setting it back down.

Kurt sighed, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Well, at least be thankful you're not rooming with an actual girl. I may have the tendency to be quite a drama queen and a bitch though, so watch out."

Brett shrugged, grinning. "Eh, we all have our moments. You should see me when I'm drunk." He laughed maniacally then literally skipped from the bathroom, leaving Kurt gaping behind him.

Okay. So his roommate was definitely odd.

The fact that Kurt's side of the room was color coordinated, very particular in design, and clashed horribly with Brett's side of the room had Brett practically giddy with happiness. He loved when things clashed.

Even after having lived with him for a week or so Kurt still did not understand Brett and his extreme liking for having things mismatch. What he did understand about his roommate though was that Brett was extremely nice and helpful. Brett had always lived in New York with his aunt and uncle so he knew the state and the city well. He showed Kurt all sorts of neat places throughout the city. By the end of his second week in New York Kurt and Brett were quite good friends.

This did not seem to settle well with Mitch at first. And maybe Kurt should have felt a bit guiltier, considering he did not visit Mitch at all for those two weeks and hardly texted him. At the same time...Mitch could have came to visit him, so it did not settle well with Kurt when they finally saw each other again and Mitch got angry at him.

It was Tuesday afternoon and Kurt did not have any more classes for the day so he went out and decided to walk all the way over to Mitch's dorm building. It was a bit of a walk, but the weather was nice so Kurt did not mind. When he reached the building he went into the lobby area and asked the guy behind the counter which room Mitch was in, because unfortunately Kurt had forgotten to ask Mitch for that little detail. After getting the room number he made his way up two flights of stairs and down a short hallway to knock on his boyfriend's door.

His boyfriend was definitely not the one who answered though. A pale, freckly faced guy with a spiky hairdo, an inch or two shorter than Kurt, opened the door and blinked at him in surprise. "Wow...okay, it's not very often I get a cutie like you knocking on my door." He quite obviously took a quick second to let his eyes wander.

Kurt blushed at the remark and the fact that this guy was obviously checking him out. "Er...hi, I was just looking for Mitch."

"Sorry, babe, Mitch is out right now." The guy replied. "Said he'd be back in a few. Want to wait for him?"

Babe? Oh god. "Um...well, I can always come back..." Kurt was a little disappointed Mitch was not there, but it was not like he had informed Mitch he would be dropping by so he could not blame him for it. Sticking around and waiting for a short while did not seem too bad, but he felt a little bit uncomfortable with the thought of being alone with Mitch's roommate after having caught him eying him up.

"Nonsense!" Mitch's roommate laughed, opening the door wider and reaching out to grab Kurt's arm, tugging him into the room and shutting the door behind him. Kurt squeaked in surprise and tugged his arm back, biting his lip nervously. "He'll be back soon and I'm bored so you can keep me company. I'm Chris, by the way."

Kurt was still standing nervously by the door as he watched Chris go over and flop down onto his computer chair. "Er...I'm Kurt."

"Well, Kurt, don't just stand there." Chris grinned. He pointed over to the other computer chair that was obviously Mitch's. "Sit! Unless you'd rather be more comfortable elsewhere..." he winked.

Kurt's face went red again and he wondered if now would be a good time to turn around and leave. He could wait in the hallway for Mitch. "No...I think I'll be fine over here." He replied nervously.

Chris rolled his eyes and got up, moving back across the room to grab Kurt's hand and tug him over to the huge squishy black beanbag chair that was on the floor in front of the television. "Let's play some videogames or something. Mitch won't play MarioKart with me. He's a meanie."

"I suck at videogames." Kurt managed to sit on the beanbag chair as far away from Chris as possible without falling off of it. It was no surprise to him that Mitch would not play it either. Mitch only liked playing HALO. He had tried teaching Kurt how to play once but it really had not worked. Kurt had given up and chosen to watch instead. Even Finn could not teach Kurt the art of videogame playing half the time and Finn was like a videogame playing champion.

"So I'll teach you." Chris replied, reaching over to grab two game controllers and then hand one to Kurt. "It's pretty easy and we can just drive around for fun until you get the hang of it."

Kurt really hoped Mitch was back before that point.

It took a bit for Chris to explain all the buttons and such before Kurt finally seemed to get the hang of it. Unfortunately then Kurt found out he was pretty darn good at the game and actually enjoyed it. Chris was not amused when he kept losing. "Are you sure you've never played this before? Cause you're kicking my ass."

Kurt laughed, shrugging. "I'm just talented." They continued playing for a bit longer, laughing and having fun. Kurt had actually stopped feeling uncomfortable around Chris by the time the door to the dorm room opened again and Mitch walked in.

"Uh...hi?"

Both Kurt and Chris looked over and grinned to see him. "Hey, Mitch." Kurt smiled warmly at his boyfriend.

The distraction afforded Chris the chance to finally beat Kurt in a race though. "HA!" Chris shouted, playfully pushing Kurt at the shoulder. "After, like, twenty races I've finally beat you!"

"What?" Kurt laughed, looking back at the screen. Sure enough Chris had won. "Damn. There goes my winning streak."

"Have you been here long, Kurt?" Mitch asked from behind them.

Kurt looked back over at Mitch when he heard the odd tone to his voice. What was wrong with Mitch? "Yeah? Well, maybe only like a half hour. I figured you'd be happier to see me, you know." He set the controller down and pushed himself up from the beanbag chair, going over to slide his arms around Mitch's waist.

Mitch did not respond right away. Instead he pulled Kurt closer and, without obviously worrying about the fact that Chris was in the room, kissed him.

A small strangled noise of surprise escaped Kurt as Mitch so suddenly kissed him. It was not like the usual kisses Mitch gave him. This one was rough, seemingly and oddly possessive. Kurt was not entirely sure whether he liked it or not. It made him slightly uncomfortable. Or maybe that was just because he knew Chris was in the room and this could be making him uncomfortable.

As Mitch finally pulled away, Chris whistled behind them, shaking his head. "Damn, Mitch, you lucky bastard. Could have told me you were seeing someone and that they were such a cutie."

Kurt's face reddened again, but this time it was not just from embarrassment. He let go of Mitch, pulling away slightly as Mitch looked over at his roommate...or was he glaring? Was Mitch glaring at Chris?

"Sorry, Chris, but could you give Kurt and I a second, please?" Mitch asked quietly, his voice rather calm compared to the look on his face.

"Sure, I guess." Chris shrugged, standing and heading for the door. "I'll just head down to the rec room for a bit. Nice meeting you, Kurt." He winked, grinning. "Come over again soon so we can play more videogames." And with that he was out the door, shutting it tightly behind him.

There was silence for a few seconds; a silence that made Kurt all too uncomfortable. Finally he could not stand it any longer and finally just spoke up. "I missed you." He told Mitch quietly.

"Did you?" Mitch replied questioningly. "I mean, because if you did it sure didn't seem like it. It's been two weeks and you've barely called or texted me, let alone visit me once."

Kurt folded his arms across his chest. He had definitely not expected to be verbally attacked right away. "I was getting settled in and my roommate, Brett, has been showing me about the city. I'm sorry, Mitch. I guess I just got a little distracted."

Mitch huffed, still looking quite annoyed. "It's not like I wasn't worried about you or anything, like wondering how you were doing."

"I don't know why you're getting so worked up about this, Mitch." Kurt replied defensively. "You knew we weren't going to be able to see each other as much once we moved here."

"Well you didn't have to make it seem like you were avoiding me or something." Mitch snapped back.

"I haven't been avoiding you!" Kurt was getting angry. They were fighting over something so ridiculous. He wondered if there might be something else bothering Mitch to cause him to act like this, because they had talked about things over the summer and both had understood what moving to New York and going to different schools would mean. Unfortunately, when Kurt got angry he tended to get a bit teary eyed and that made him even more annoyed.

Mitch truly hated seeing Kurt cry. He felt bad for snapping at him too. Reaching out to place a hand gently on Kurt's shoulder, Mitch tried to apologize. "Kurt...I'm sorry."

Kurt sniffed and wiped away a stray tear that was sliding down his cheek. "Look...this is a two way thing you know. You could have visited me as well."

"You're right." Mitch replied, feeling somewhat guilty. After all...Kurt not coming to visit him was hardly a problem; Mitch understood that the first couple of weeks would be harder for them to hang out at first until they got completely settled in. "That's not even the reason I'm really annoyed. It was a stupid thing for me to get all snappy about." Mitch sighed and sat down at the bottom of his bed. He patted the spot next to him and Kurt slowly moved over to join him.

"So...then why are you so annoyed?" Kurt questioned quietly.

Mitch looked over towards the door then back at Kurt. "I don't want you around Chris."

"What?" Kurt blinked, slightly confused. "Why?"

"Chris is...from what I've heard and experienced already my self, he's the kind of guy who goes after anyone no matter if they're already involved with someone else or not." Mitch explained. "I didn't like how...how he was looking at you."

"So you were jealous?" Kurt asked, grinning a tiny bit. When Mitch did not look as amused as he was, Kurt leaned against him and tilted his head back to look up into his eyes. "Hey, you have nothing to worry about. I'm not like that and I don't cheat. Honestly..." he sat back up straight and looked down towards the floor, biting at his bottom lip, "honestly I feel like I should be the one to worry. I mean, the guy wasted no time with flirty phrases as soon as he opened the door and saw me. I can only imagine what he was like when he realized he was rooming with someone as attractive as you."

Mitch laughed, sliding his arm around Kurt's waist. "To be honest, he was quite nice at first because my parents were with me on move in day. It wasn't until after they left that he started making any flirtatious remarks. I was a bit taken back, but then I just told him off; told him my interests lay elsewhere."

"But...the way he spoke earlier," Kurt was unsure, "it sounded like he didn't even know you had a boyfriend. Why wouldn't you tell him about me?"

"Tell him I have a boyfriend who is absolutely gorgeous and amazing?" Mitch smiled down at Kurt. "I wanted to hold off as long as I could...he'll be after you like Rachel after a solo she thinks she deserves even though Mr. Schu gave it to someone else."

Kurt snorted and shook his head. He really wanted to believe Mitch though, so he guessed it was not too big of a deal. "Rachel would really go after those solos...I guess I better watch out then." He laughed. "I wonder how she's doing." Thankfully Rachel was in New York as well so it was not like it would be too hard to visit her.

"Why don't you go visit her sometime soon?" Mitch suggested. It looked like for now they were done talking about Chris. Kurt wondered how much more of a problem that topic would be for them in the future. After all, Kurt did not plan on having every time they visited each other be at his dorm. He most certainly would come and visit Mitch here as well, and if Chris was around then so be it. It was not like Kurt planned on cheating on Mitch with Chris, or anyone for that matter, it just was not something Kurt would do.

"I should." Kurt nodded, a small smile on his face. As much as Rachel Berry annoyed him sometimes, he still considered her a very close friend. "Would you like to come with? I may even invite Brett along. He would probably love her dorm. I heard her roommate is, like, uber goth, so I bet the d�cor in there clashes as horrendously as that of my dorm does. Knowing Rachel her part of the room is girlishly pink and orange and all those other terrible colors her old room was back at home. I regret never taking the chance to convince her to let me give her room a makeover."

"Sounds...interesting." Mitch laughed. "Well, as much as I don't miss Rachel's constant need to talk about her self, I do miss her in general so I'll come with."

*~*~*~*~*~*~&*~*~*~*~*

They did visit Rachel, dragging Brett along as well. Brett found Rachel's dorm room absolutely delightful. Though Rachel's roommate, Michelle, was not impressed by his choice of outfit that day – nor was Kurt for that matter – a pair of dark green khaki's with a shirt that was an odd shade of yellowish green and had a small picture of a white owl on it. Kurt complained the entire walk to Rachel's apartment about it. Rachel loved Brett's top though and Kurt did not doubt why – he had lost count over the years how many horrible sweaters and shirts Rachel had worn that had little animals all over it.

Michelle had no interest in clothes shopping with them so they left her behind and went out into the city. Brett and Kurt argued about clothing practically the entire time, but they banded together to save Rachel from getting an absolutely hideous pink dress with ruffles. At moments it seemed to Kurt that Mitch was annoyed about something, but he never brought it up because every time he would go to talk to him Mitch would smile and start talking about whatever they were currently doing at the time. So Kurt decided it probably was not that big of a deal and did not dwell on it too much.

When they went to lunch they ran into Chris. Rachel was completely won over when Chris called her 'a starlit angel' who had such pretty eyes. She invited him to stick about for lunch, which he did. Things were a little weird at first when he sent a few flirty remarks Brett's way, only to be completely ignored because Brett was too busy discussing with Rachel what it was like being a vegan. Things went well over lunch and, despite Mitch's request of Kurt to try and stay away from Chris, Kurt could not help but talk with him. It probably would have been rude of Kurt to ignore Chris anyway when they were so clearly sitting right next to each other. Mitch looked increasingly annoyed, but Kurt figured he would talk to him about it later. There was no harm in him talking with Chris, he thought. It was not like he was flirting with the guy.

After lunch they all parted ways. Brett, Kurt, and Mitch headed back to Brett and Kurt's dorm. Once there Brett had to leave to meet a few friends and he grinned as he told Mitch and Kurt to be good. As soon as Brett had left, Mitch wasted no time in pulling Kurt close and kissing him.

As much as Kurt enjoyed the attention he felt a bit uncomfortable with the way Mitch was kissing him again. It was the same rough, possessive like kissing he had done the other week at his own dorm when Kurt visited. So with that, along with the fact that Mitch had seemed annoyed all day, Kurt decided it was about time they talked.

He gently pushed Mitch back a bit, ignoring the confused look his boyfriend gave him. "We need to talk, Mitch."

"Why? What's wrong?" Mitch asked, looking slightly worried. "Did I do something?"

Kurt sighed, taking Mitch's hand and tugging him over to plop down at the bottom of his bed together. "I'm...concerned. You seemed really annoyed about something all day today, Mitch, and especially over lunch. Plus...I didn't like how you were kissing me just now."

Mitch looked a little put off, though a bit guilty at the same time. "Kurt...I don't really understand."

"It just...it didn't feel comfortable." Kurt replied, trying to figure out how he wanted to explain what he was trying to say without hurting Mitch's feelings too badly. "And I know some of your annoyance from earlier was probably because I was talking to Chris so much. I can't help wondering if...if you don't like it when I'm around other guys too much."

"What?" Mitch looked shocked.

Kurt bit his lip and looked down at his lap, starting to feel a little awkward about everything. "I mean, you even get annoyed when I talk about all the time I spend with Brett and he's straight. His girlfriend visits almost every other weekend. I just don't understand, Mitch, because you have nothing to worry about."

"I'm sorry." Mitch whispered softly next to him. He looked a little upset which made Kurt feel rather guilty. "I didn't mean to...to make you think I'm this jealous guy who doesn't want you to hang out with other guys. I just...worry a lot."

"But Mitch," Kurt shook his head, "I keep telling you, you have nothing to worry about. I don't want to be with anyone else."

"Do you really mean it?" Mitch asked, his gaze locked on Kurt's. Kurt nodded. "I'm sorry, Kurt. I promise I'll stop worrying all the time. I guess I just worried that you'd find someone better than me and I couldn't stand the thought of losing you. I...I love you."

Kurt's heart seemed to almost stop for a second. He had not misheard that, right? One of the things Kurt longed for above all else was love; for someone to love and accept him for who he was, including all his faults. Had he finally found that someone in Mitch? Kurt wanted to believe it so badly, and goodness knows he loved Mitch. He had loved him for a while now, but had been too scared to tell him, afraid that Mitch would not feel the same way. Mitch did though, and Kurt felt his eyes tearing up as a huge smile spread across his face.

"I love you too." Kurt replied softly, leaning closer to kiss Mitch. When Mitch kissed him back this time it was not rough or uncomfortable, but soft and loving. "Mitch, I want us to...I want you to...to make love to me." Kurt mumbled quietly against Mitch's lips. His face was bright red as he pulled back a little and tried to keep his gaze locked on Mitch's. They had not reached that far in their relationship yet, but Kurt felt like he was ready now and he wanted his first time to be with Mitch.

Mitch did not even blink; he leaned forward and kissed Kurt again before standing and pulling Kurt up with him. "I want that too. Are you sure you're ready though? I want this to be perfect for you, Kurt." Kurt nodded and Mitch responded by pulling Kurt close to kiss him once more. They were both glad Brett would not be back for a few more hours.

*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*

After that afternoon in the dorm Mitch was indeed better about not getting jealous when Kurt hung out with other guys, or at least it looked like it. Kurt was pretty sure Mitch still got jealous on occasion, but Mitch never complained or looked annoyed so Kurt figured at least he was getting better about the whole thing. There were still moments when Mitch would say something about another guy or two, but Kurt always talked to him about it to work things out. Ever since they had had sex they had gotten a lot closer to each other, and Kurt really did not think Mitch had anything to worry about. He was not going to leave Mitch any time soon.

Their freshman year passed quickly, as did most of their sophomore year. Kurt was excelling at his studies and putting a lot of hard work into his musical performances at school, along with all the designs he was making on the side for the future of his fashion career. Everything was going great and Kurt felt like he was on the way to really achieving something great.

A call he received around spring break threatened to tear him down a bit, but, with the help of his father and Mercedes, Kurt made it through and moved on.

Kurt and Mitch were back in Ohio for spring break. It was a Saturday morning and Kurt was in the kitchen with Finn eating breakfast. Finn was rambling on about one of his boring classes when the phone rang.

"I'll get it." Kurt was the closest to the phone. He hopped up from his chair and grabbed the phone. "Hello?"

"Kurt?" A man's voice spoke on the other line.

"Uh, yes? May I ask who is calling?" The voice sounded vaguely familiar but Kurt could not place it yet.

"Wow, you sound just like your mother." The man laughed. "I thought it was her for a second."

Kurt was used to hearing that when he answered the house phone. He had been getting that for years. "Who is this?" He asked again.

"It's your father. Ricky."

Kurt just about dropped the phone. So when he had said Kurt sounded like his mother...he had meant Elizabeth. Why was Ricky calling him though? "Why are you calling me? I told you I never want to see or hear from you again." Finn was over at the table watching and giving Kurt a 'who is it' look. Kurt looked away. "I should hang up on you." He told Ricky angrily.

"Oh, please don't." Ricky begged from the other end of the line. "Hear me out; I called to apologize."

"Apologize?" Kurt questioned; his expression was stony as he stared out the kitchen window. "I hardly want to hear your apologies now. You made the first couple years of my life miserable. It was your fault my mom chose to send me to an orphanage. If you had been a more loving, supporting father who cared then we could have stayed together as a family and fought together to try and beat mom's illness. I could have had more time with her!" Even though Kurt really did not want to be having this conversation right now, it felt good to finally get to yell at Ricky and tell him just how horrible he had been.

"I know, Kurt. I know." Ricky replied quietly. "And I'm sorry. I was terrible, downright dreadful. I loved your mother and you so much-"

"I don't want to hear this." Kurt snapped. He was vaguely aware of the fact that Finn was still in the room and listening to everything, but he did not care. Anger was coursing through him, at the same time, as always when he got angry, making his eyes tear up. "If you loved us then you wouldn't have gotten drunk all the time and beaten us. Why did you really call me? How'd you even get this number?"

As Kurt waited for an answer he heard someone else enter the kitchen. His father's voice came from the entrance. "What's going on in here? I thought I heard Kurt yelling." Kurt did not turn around. He needed to finish this conversation before he could face Burt. He heard Finn replying with a short 'I don't know; I think its Kurt's real father.'

Kurt bit his lip, waiting for Ricky's response. Finally he heard him talking again. "I'm in jail right now. The police gave me your number because I asked if I could call you."

"Oh my god." Kurt groaned, shaking his head. "What the hell did you do? You know what, never mind, I don't even want to know. You shouldn't have called here. I'm going to hang up now."

"Kurt, wait!" Ricky shouted into the phone. "Please...I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I know it has been years, but I really am sorry."

"'I'm sorry' is not going to cut it." Kurt replied loudly and angrily. "There's no way you could ever say sorry enough to make up for what you did and I refuse to accept your apologies. As far as I'm concerned it's about time you landed your ass in jail. Goodbye." He forcefully hung up the phone, so hard that it fell off the hook and he had to angrily jam it on again. When it fell off a second time though Kurt gave up and let it hang, dangling against the wall on its cord.

"Kurt..." His father had approached him and reached down to grab the phone, hanging it up properly. "Was that Ricky?"

Kurt turned his head to look at his father with watery eyes and nodded. "He wanted to apologize...from jail. I just couldn't accept his apologies. Did I do the right thing?" In the end it was his decision whether or not to forgive Ricky. Should he have forgiven him? The things Ricky had done were not easily forgivable, and Kurt had had the rest of his childhood and his teenage years to hold a grudge, a very deep seated, heavy grudge that was probably not going to go away any time soon.

"The right thing to do, in this case, I guess, would be up to you." Burt replied slowly. "There's that whole 'forgive and forget' thing, but what that man did to you...heck, even I couldn't find it easy to forgive him a little, if at all. Did he say why he was in jail?"

"I didn't want to know." Kurt shook his head, closing his eyes, trying to force the tears away that were threatening to escape. This phone call had dredged up some unpleasant memories and Kurt was trying desperately not to think of them. "I had this thought like...what if he killed someone? Or was caught abusing another kid and his mom? I didn't want to hear that."

Burt nodded, reaching out to pull Kurt in for a hug. "I understand, Kurt."

"I miss mom." Kurt mumbled against his shoulder, hugging him tightly. "I miss both of my moms."

Kurt managed to only shed a few tears, taking deep breaths to calm his self down. He was glad his father had been there after the call to comfort him. And Finn had sat awkwardly at the kitchen table through the whole thing, but afterward even he had stood and given Kurt a hug. It was Finn that gave him the idea to call Mercedes.

"Whenever I need some cheering up I'd go over to Puck's and play videogames, and since I know you have no interest in doing that how about you call Mercedes over? I heard she's back for break too."

"I don't know...apparently I play a mean game of MarioKart." Kurt laughed. "That's a great idea though, Finn, thanks. I think I will call her up." He smiled at the puppy like grin Finn gave him, probably quite happy for being so helpful, and headed on upstairs to his room.

Once in his room, Kurt took a quick second to sit at the bottom of his bed and compose him self. It really had been quite an unexpected surprise to hear from Ricky.

He grabbed his phone from the nightstand and went to his contacts. Mitch's name was right near Mercedes' and for a quick second Kurt thought of calling him too, but he figured he would tell Mitch later. Right now he needed the best friend from his childhood, the best friend he grew up with and shared so much with. The thought reminded him of another childhood best friend and Kurt's finger paused over the touch screen for a second.

Blaine. Kurt had not thought about Blaine in a while. Just thinking of the name had Kurt's heart aching. If they were still friends, if Blaine was there with him right that very moment, he would be holding Kurt's hand and telling him everything would be alright. That would never happen now because Kurt had pushed Blaine away when they found each other again. It was his own fault.

Suddenly Kurt realized that what he wanted more than anything was for Blaine to be with him again. Why had he been so stupid and pushed Blaine away all those times they saw each other? Sure he had been slightly scared of the fact that this older Blaine was not the Blaine he knew, and maybe he had been even more scared of the attraction he had felt towards his old friend, but, in the end, they could have become friends once more, best friends maybe even. Kurt had pushed all that away.

A loud sob tore through the room, tearing Kurt from his thoughts, startling him, and he realized that he was crying. His left hand was being held tightly against his chest with his right, the same thing he had done for years, ever since he was little, whenever he was upset. He knew why he did it – Blaine had always held his left hand when they held hands – and if Kurt tried hard enough he could just image Blaine holding his hand once more, trying to comfort him.

After Kurt managed to stop crying he set his phone down, intending on calling Mercedes in a few minutes, and went over to his dresser. Opening it, Kurt dug through a few articles of clothing carefully to pull out a book. Well, it was not technically a book, but a diary. Yes, Kurt knew it was kind of odd for a guy to keep a diary, but he liked the idea of it and had been keeping one since middle school. Sitting back down on his bed, Kurt opened the diary and pulled out the small piece of notebook paper he kept right inside the cover.

'Courage' was all the paper said on it. It was the second 'courage' note Blaine had given him. Kurt had been making sure to keep it perfectly safe, not wanting to lose it. He had wanted to put it on his bulletin board inside the dorm he shared with Brett, but Mitch always seemed annoyed when he saw it so Kurt kept it hidden.

Holding the note against his chest, Kurt took a deep breath. He had made a decision. The next time, whenever it was, when he saw Blaine he was going to talk to him and apologize. And then, if he had to, because for all he knew Blaine probably hated him by this point, he would beg Blaine to be friends with him again.

Putting the note back in the diary, Kurt hid the book back in his dresser then went over to call Mercedes. His ear was practically deafened when Mercedes answered, squealing loudly on the other end. She agreed to come over, promising to do so as quickly as possible. And it really did not take her long either. It was not long before Kurt heard the doorbell ringing downstairs and it made him wonder if he should question his best friend's driving safety.

There was a knock at his door and after he called for her to come in the door practically flew open. "Hey, boo!" Mercedes grinned, dropping her purse on the ground as she approached Kurt. "Oh no, you've been crying, boy. First, I'm going to hug you." Which she did, rather tightly.

Kurt laughed, hugging her back just as tightly. He had forgotten to clean him self up a bit after crying. He probably could have hidden his red eyes easily if he had remembered. "I've missed you, Mer."

"Secondly," Mercedes pulled away, "tell me what's up! Why have you been crying? Did Mitch break up with you? Cause I will knock his ass down if he hurt you..."

"No!" Kurt shook his head, giggling lightly. "He didn't. We're still going strong." He proceeded to tell her about the call from Ricky and why it had upset him so much. Some memories, like the ones involving the times Ricky was abusive, were just better left in the past.

"Oh, Kurt..." Mercedes had been frowning the entire time Kurt told her about the call. "I'm sorry. He shouldn't have called you. You don't deserve to be reminded of all that terrible stuff he did to you and your real mom. I'm glad your dad and Finn were here when he called."

Kurt was glad they were home as well. He was silent for a while before looking back over at Mercedes. "There's something else." Mercedes gave him a questioning look, silently waiting for him to explain. "It's about Blaine." Mercedes opened her mouth to speak but Kurt held a hand up to stop her. "Wait. I don't need any 'I told you so's', so just let me explain." He proceeded to explain what he figured his reasons had been for pushing Blaine away all the times they had ran into one another. And he told her about his decision to finally talk to Blaine properly the next time, if ever, they saw each other again.

"Finally!" Mercedes grinned. "I won't give you an 'I told you so', but, honestly, Kurt, you should have just spoken to him before. You two used to be best friends and I know that was when you were little, but things can still work out. I think it'd be great for you two to become friends again."

Kurt rolled his eyes, shoving Mercedes' shoulder lightly. He knew now that he had been really mean to Blaine about the entire thing and should have just talked to him; he just did not like being wrong, or being told that he had been wrong. "The only problem with all this...I don't know where to find him now. I mean, he's a grade below me so he'd have to be in his first year of college by now."

"Well..." Mercedes thought for a few seconds, "I'm sure we could come up with something. Oh! Like, Facebook!"

"I don't really remember his last name though." Kurt replied sadly. He remembered Blaine having tried friend requesting him on the internet site ages ago, but he had deleted the friend request.

"Oh..." Mercedes sighed. "Well, then I don't know, Kurt. But, I mean, you guys ran into each other all those times without even trying. Maybe if you just continue not actually trying to run into him then you won't?"

Thinking about that for a second, Kurt shrugged. "Odd, but it makes sense." He sighed and flopped back onto his pillows. "I feel like such an idiot. Do you think he'll still want to be my friend?"

Mercedes grinned, leaning back to lie next to him. "I think so. He always seemed pretty determined to try and talk to you. I doubt he'd just give up." They were both silent for a moment before Mercedes spoke again. "Are you going to tell Mitch about all this stuff with Blaine?"

"Uh...eventually?" Kurt was not entirely sure. Maybe he would not tell him at all. It made him feel bad to even consider lying to his boyfriend, but... "Mitch doesn't like Blaine very much."

*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~~~*~*~

For his junior year Kurt decided to study abroad in France. His dorm mate was a rather tall guy named Bruno. Bruno was shy, quiet, and very watchful. He preferred sitting in the back of classes, just to people watch, plus he hoped sitting in the back meant less people noticed him. It was not until they became better friends that Bruno admitted to having been quite intimidated at first by Kurt's loud and more outspoken personality.

Kurt easily made lots of friends while in France, especially with girls. Unfortunately Kurt could not figure out how they tended to have no clue to the fact that he was gay. Bruno thought it was hilarious of course. Kurt did not mind all the attention, but it was kind of uncomfortable when a girl tried being more than friends.

One of Kurt's most favorite memories from his junior year was when he and some of his friends went to visit the Eiffel Tower. Kurt had always wanted to see it with his own eyes instead of just looking at pictures. He took plenty of his own pictures so he could share the experience with his family and friends when he returned home.

The year studying abroad did put quite a strain on his relationship with Mitch. They wrote to one another as much as possible since calling on the phone was expensive. Mitch's jealousy problem though was what caused the worst mess. They ended up apart for almost an entire month before Mitch apologized and begged Kurt to forgive him so they could get back together. Kurt found that he had actually been somewhat reluctant to take Mitch back at first before giving in and forgiving him. He was starting to realize that he may be a little bit more annoyed with Mitch's jealousy issues than he thought.

When the school year was over, Kurt was sad to go back home. He would definitely have to visit France again at some point. Mitch was waiting for him at the airport. Kurt had not been expecting that, so when he saw his boyfriend standing along the wall waiting he could not help the huge smile that spread across his face. Sure they needed to have a talk about a few things, but Kurt had decided that could wait. They had not seen each other for a year and Kurt did not care who was watching, he ran over and hugged Mitch tightly.

As they were leaving the airport, Mitch informed Kurt that he had a surprise for him. Kurt was curious as they got a taxi and drove off. They ended up in front of a tall apartment building. Mitch led the way up to the sixth floor and opened the door to a rather nice, little apartment. Kurt was slightly confused until Mitch turned to him and explained that, while he knew they had some things they needed to work out, he really wanted Kurt to move in with him. Surprised, Kurt did not know what to say at first. They did need to talk, but things would be okay between them, Kurt just knew it. And moving in together might just help their relationship even more. It made him happy just knowing that Mitch wanted them to live together. So Kurt said yes to moving in with him.