For a week, Blaine had run.

For a week, Kurt wandered around the school like he'd fallen asleep at home and then had woken to find himself in a strange, unfriendly place. He didn't speak to anyone, not in Warbler's rehearsal or class or at meals. Those who watched the boy - who were admittedly few, since Kurt had never bothered to expand himself beyond Blaine's friendship circle - became very well acquainted with the lost, slightly sad expression that never seemed to leave his face.

For a week, Blaine had kept his distance, and so the Warblers had kept their distance. On the first day after the kiss in the attic, Blaine, Nick and Jeff had been sitting at a table in the cafeteria together at lunch when Kurt walked in, surreptitiously scanning the room. Jeff had raised his arm to wave Kurt over, and before he'd even registered his own actions, Blaine had grabbed Jeff's elbow and jerked the arm down again. Kurt had gone to sit at a table by himself, looking a little sadder than he had before.

It had garnered Blaine a few odd looks, but neither Jeff nor Nick had questioned what Blaine had done. It was a relief. Blaine knew that if he had done that to someone else, and Kurt had been the one sitting at the table, there was no way Blaine could have gotten away with shunning someone like that without facing an inquisition. But these guys didn't question him. They don't push me for more than I'm willing to give, Blaine reminded himself, and threw himself into conversation with the two boys with a little more warmth.

For a week, Blaine went through the motions of his life as if Kurt had never existed. He got up, went to class, rehearsed with the Warblers, hung out with his friends, and went to bed again as if that was all he needed, as if he was satisfied. And there was a time when he would have considered it complete. But now it felt empty, like his life should have another dimension, and sometimes it made Blaine want to shout; because god damn it, how could Kurt still be pushing Blaine to give more when he wasn't even around?

The biggest cracks showed during rehearsals. Blaine found it almost impossible to get into the songs, no matter how much effort he put into the performances. On the seventh day of not speaking to Kurt, Blaine sat at the piano long after all the other Warblers had gone and tried song after song. He flicked through almost the entire contents of his iPod, trying them on the piano or just singing them. Nothing drained away the feelings in his chest. In a fit of childish frustration, he flung out a foot and kicked the piano.

He had always used his music to act out his feelings and throw them on display. There had always been a song out there to help channel his emotion into something constructive. Why, now of all times, was it failing him?

A memory flashed through his head, of himself a little over a month ago. Because those feelings aren't deep, he'd told Kurt. They don't matter.

Oh. So that was it, then. The songs didn't fit because nothing in the top forty could express feelings that ran this deep.

Just another example of Kurt demanding more from him. Even now. Blaine kicked the piano again.

x

The next afternoon, when Blaine walked into the cafeteria and headed for his friends, he was struck with an unusual sight: Kurt and David were sitting together in the corner, both leaning forward as through involved in an intense conversation. Kurt's face had a new expression on it for the first time in days, and it kept shifting even as Blaine watched. It went from defensive to vaguely thankful to amused in the space of about a minute. Eventually, Kurt pushed something towards David and dismissed him with an imperious wave of a hand that made Blaine smile, before he kept walking.

David and Blaine reached the table where the rest of their friends were sitting at the same time. David appeared a little dazed. 'Kurt's so small, and he's so quiet most of the time,' David said to no one in particular, 'that you almost forget about the whirlwind he can be when he's got a purpose.' The boy shook his head, clearing his thoughts, before turning to Blaine. He was smirking. 'Kurt said to give you these,' he said, and thrust a stack of CDs into Blaine's hands, 'so that, and I quote, "There might actually be a piano left standing in Dalton by the time Blaine's found a song that suits him right now."'

Blaine tried not to think about how much he really, really just missed his best friend. He took the CDs up to his dorm without even eating lunch, and started to listen.

By seven that evening, Blaine was back in the choir room, equipped with new sheet music and unaccountably nervous. He hadn't tried singing the song yet, but something about the lyrics had jumped out at him. He wasn't entirely sure why; a lot of these lyrics weren't sentiments that had crossed his conscious thought. But maybe, just maybe, they might be whatever those deeper feelings were trying to say. And maybe, if he was lucky, those deeper feelings would settle for being expressed once and then go away and let Blaine live his life.

Well, it was worth a try.

The song was meant for a much different set up, and didn't even make use of a piano, but Blaine had spent awhile fiddling with an arrangement, translating guitar into piano without much trouble. Closing his eyes for a moment, Blaine put his fingers on the keys and began to sing.

I'm trying my best to be alright
I'm trying my best to be everything you need
But nothing seems to be alright
And I don't seem to be anything you need

There it was. The loosening in his chest that Blaine had been searching for madly all week, the sheer relief of expression. Letting his voice slide over the dark notes of the song, Blaine kept going.

This all happened so quickly
One day everything's here, the next it's gone
And I don't know how to cope now
Knowing all that I've known has gone away

The pangs of loneliness hit again. He really did miss Kurt like... well, there was no comparison. He'd never missed anyone this badly before. No one had inserted themselves into his life quite so deeply or quite so well. Kurt had been the one wandering around with the lost expression on his face, but if Blaine was brave enough to admit it to himself, he was the one wearing it on his thoughts and his actions. To have Kurt ripped away had left him reeling and confused, with no one to lean on. Hell, just to get here, to be able to express himself, he'd still needed Kurt's help.

So why was he avoiding Kurt? What could possibly be keeping him away, if he needed his friend that much?

Does anyone know what it feels like on display?
Or am I the only one who's having trouble
Letting go of life behind me

And there seemed to be the core problem. Blaine felt constantly exposed to the world, but he seemed to be the only one who felt this way. The only one who was afraid to delve deep into himself and pull it out, knowing others were watching. The only one who held onto past abuse and pain and couldn't let himself forget how it had felt. Kurt didn't seem to have the same problem.

Blaine had tried to let himself forget. He really, really had. But maybe he would always just be the one that ran. Maybe he'd keep running from everything.

I'm sorry I made you feel empty
I'm sorry I made it so hard to love me
When nothing seems to be alright
I'll try my best to be everything you need

Blaine had completely lost himself in the song by this point. It was so glorious just to let his voice fly again, even in a song with such pain. But then Blaine's eyes flew up off the sheet music to stare over the piano, because another voice was rising. A voice that owned the last two verses. A voice that had something to say to Blaine.

Kurt stared hard at Blaine as he took over the song.

Don't cover your eyes when it's raining outside
'Cause I won't let you go blind to the world
All that we take from every smile we fake
Is another mistake of who we are

Kurt's voice climbed, pushing out with a force Blaine had never heard from him. He belted out the last three lines, still staring at Blaine.

Don't cover your eyes
Don't cover your eyes
Don't cover your eyes

Blaine skipped the instrumental at the end, and silence took over.

'Please, Blaine,' Kurt said. 'Please stop hiding from your feelings. Please stop faking who you are. I'll protect you when you're vulnerable, but you need to stop hiding.'

Blaine didn't look up. He sang the first verse over again in his head. 'I just want my best friend back,' he eventually said.

Kurt left.

x

Ten days after the last kiss in the attic, Kurt was walking past the choir room when he heard Blaine's voice. He stopped out of habit, before he remembered that he shouldn't do that any more. Blaine's life had been rather forcibly proved to be none of his business. But by that point, he'd already heard the other voice in the room - Andrew, a senior that wasn't in the Warblers, and Kurt didn't know well. He hadn't thought Blaine knew Andrew that well either. Kurt drew closer to the half-open door.

'So, what was it that you were after, Blaine?' Andrew asked.

Blaine's voice sounded light, but Kurt could hear that the boy was forcing it. 'I was hoping you might want to do more than hang out in the choir room sometime. Maybe even make it off campus. We could go see a movie.'

There was a pause that was just long enough for Kurt's heart to shatter all over again.

Andrew, when he responded, spoke slowly. Kurt wished he could see either of the boys' faces, but there was no way to do it without being detected.

'What about that Hummel kid? Kurt?'

'What about Kurt?' Blaine asked. His tone was so strained now, the lightness so forced, that even Andrew had to pick up on it.

'Blaine, there's no way you can pull that on me. Sorry, but the whole school can see there's something that needs to be dealt with there.'

'It's been dealt with,' Blaine said shortly.

Andrew actually laughed. 'If you say so, Blaine.' His voice still held amusement as he continued. 'Sorry, man. I'm not getting in the middle of that, no matter how hot you are.'

Kurt left, and started heading for the attic, before he changed his mind, and went to his room instead. His brain was whirling so fast he couldn't think.

No matter how many times he tried, no matter what he did, Kurt couldn't seem to get through. Blaine kept trying to run, no matter what. And he seemed prepared to run straight into someone else's arms, if that's what kept him from feeling things he didn't want to acknowledge.

Bitterness welled up Kurt's throat, so violently Kurt could taste it. He started to think about the things he hadn't wanted to acknowledge. Like the part of him that kept longing for a place where no one hid who they were. Where everyone stood proud, and not just proud of the image they portrayed.

Kurt looked down, and realised that his hands had still been moving while he'd been thinking. Without even noticing, he'd already packed half a suitcase.

x

After dinner, Blaine trudged up to his room, unenthused by the prospect that awaited him: time alone with Latin homework and his own thoughts. He'd told Wes what Andrew had said, about something needing to be dealt with, and Wes hadn't disagreed. That wasn't something Blaine wanted to address.

He reached his door, the last on the corridor, to find a note taped to it. Reading the first line, Blaine immediately recognised the lyrics - they were from the same CD as "Don't Cover Your Eyes".

She walks on by
It's better if I stand to the side
And let her catch her breath
Who am I
To tell her she's asleep?
She's happier, it seems

Something like dread filled Blaine's stomach. Ripping the note off the door, Blaine flung himself down the nearest flight of stairs, and ran to Kurt's door, hammering on it at a rate that was near-frantic. When it opened, it was to reveal Kurt's roommate.

'Hey!' Blaine said, forcing a smile. 'I was just looking for Kurt.'

The always well-meaning roommate smiled sympathetically. 'Sorry, man, you've missed him by about half an hour.'

'Oh,' Blaine said. He paused, wondering if he could bring himself to ask what was running through his head, before finally settling on, 'Do you know when he'll be back?'

'He won't be, I don't think.' No. No no no. 'His dad came to help move all his stuff already. He said he was going back to McKinley.'