Blaine is half asleep, sprawled in the sun. He doesn’t get to do this nearly enough, with the amount of travel his job requires. Though, to be perfectly honest, he didn’t expect Kurt to be the one to suggest this. Blaine had expected he would be left to wandering the city on his own for the afternoon, but Kurt had dragged him out of the hotel room with a picnic basket, refusing to tell him where they were going.

They had eaten in relative silence, actually not as awkward as it could have been. Now it’s drifting towards sunset and Blaine is lying on his back, peering at Kurt and blinking slowly to keep from falling asleep. Kurt is sitting primly on the blanket he brought, folding and refolding a napkin and bathed inreds and pinks from the brilliant sunset. Blaine thinks that this must be the Kurt that existed before Evans’ disappearance three years ago.

Sam and Kurt used to date, everyone knew and everyone ignored it, because even though there was a no inter-department dating policy, no one really paid much attention to it. Then Sam vanished in the middle of a high-risk op in the middle of Iran and hadn’t been heard from since. Blaine knows from office gossip that Kurt had been devastated, and had built himself armor in the form of unyielding stubbornness and a flawless bitch façade. Now Blaine isn’t so sure how flawless Kurt actually is.

“Why’d you become a spy?” Blaine asks suddenly, voice low and sleepy.

Kurt starts a little and stares at him for a moment before speaking. “I didn’t want to be a spy, growing up. I know some kids dream of joining the CIA or the FBI and going undercover and completing cool missions, but I always dreamt of Broadway or movies or fashion. I wanted to be famous and feel accepted, for once. But in high school, my dad had a heart attack and nearly died and I decided to stay close to home for college. I went to Ohio State and studied languages and during my senior year my dad had another heart attack. We couldn’t afford the medical bills with me as a high school French teacher and my dad unable to work at the shop - he’s a mechanic. So when I was approached by the Agency, I took the offer. It paid well enough to support my dad, and even though I’d be away all the time, it was worth it.”

Halfway through Kurt’s story, Blaine sits up to face him. “Is your dad okay now?” he asks quietly.

Kurt nods, smiling faintly. “A few years ago, Dad remarried. Her name is Carole, she’s a nurse, and she makes sure he takes care of himself.”

“You miss him,” Blaine says, and it’s not a question.

“Of course. I visit as often as I can, but…”

“The job.”

Kurt looks up at Blaine. “How about you?”

Blaine shrugs uncomfortably. “My dad was in the military,” he begins slowly. “And my brother and I… we always had to be perfect. Good grades, a part of sports teams and clubs, even though we moved around a lot. Cooper, my brother, is older and was always better. He was the high scorer on his soccer team, he got straight As and I got a B minus in math, he got the lead in the school play and I didn’t make the school choir. It never mattered that he was nearly ten years older, it always was a comparison that I couldn’t live up to.”

Blaine avoids looking at Kurt, who’s watching him with wide sympathetic eyes.

“And then, when I was fourteen, I came out to my parents. And that was it. No matter how well I did in school, how much I accomplished, it was never enough because I’m gay and would never have a perfect girlfriend and have a big house in the suburbs with a white picket fence and 2.5 kids, and my parents hated that. I’m sure my dad would have been thrilled if I had joined up, but I found the Agency instead. I cut all my ties with my family and went to the Farm and I made friends who like me for me.”

“Blaine,” Kurt breathes.

Blaine offers a weak smile. “It’s fine.”

Kurt shakes his head wordlessly and Blaine knows he thinking that it’s absolutely not fine but he doesn’t want to offend Blaine, or make him upset.

Blaine takes a deep breath and when he looks up again, his eyes meet with Kurt’s. “It really is fine. I made the choice to stop talking to my parents. I love my job, and I have great friends, and I’m happy.”

And so what if the last one is a little bit untrue?