It Gets Better
Susala
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Susala

Aug. 14, 2011, 1:40 p.m.


It Gets Better: Chapter 15 Thursday


E - Words: 1,930 - Last Updated: Aug 14, 2011
Story: Complete - Chapters: 15/15 - Created: Aug 05, 2011 - Updated: Aug 14, 2011
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Author's Notes: A/N: I do not own Glee.
The hostess led them to a booth in a corner. Paul Karofsky and Burt Hummel sat down across from each other, took the menus offered by the hostess and gave her their drink order. The men appeared mismatched. Burt wore his blue work shirt and pants and sported scrubbed but still somewhat grimy fingernails. Paul removed his suit jacket before sitting down in his white shirt and tie. Still, they had more in common than the casual observer would guess.

The men studied their menus briefly and quickly ordered from the server when she appeared with their beverages.

"I was happy to get your call," said Burt. "It was going to be rather awkward…"

"Understood," nodded Paul. "When David told me that he had asked you to talk with me, I felt it was my responsibility to make the call. Thanks for dropping everything to get together with me today."

Burt nodded his acknowledgment. "How've you been?" he inquired, recognizing it was a loaded question but not really knowing where else to begin.

Paul sighed and looked across at his McKinley High classmate from a couple of decades earlier. If they had gotten together to talk over their glory days this would have been a much more pleasant lunch. "I've been better," the gray-haired man replied, a grim smile barely reaching his lips. "You just recently married again, right?"

Burt nodded, "Just last year."

"Well, you know what it is like to raise a teenager on your own," Paul concluded.

"Yep, I lost Kurt's mom when he was eight." Burt pulled the paper off of a straw and pushed the straw into his soda. "Raising kids is a crap shoot. Just when you think you got something figured out, the game changes."

Paul nodded again, "You said a mouth full."

Back to the topic at hand. "So, did you have any idea?"

"None. I mean none, nada." Paul splayed his hands on the table top on either side of the paper placemat. "Oh, I knew something was wrong, something had been wrong for a while. Just off, you know? But when you only have one child, you don't have anything to compare it to."

"So, when did Dave tell you?"

"Just last night."

Burt nodded thoughtfully, this guy is still raw. "How are you taking it?"

Paul lifted his eyebrows and shrugged. "I think I'm in shock. How should I be taking it?" He added almost as an afterthought, " I shouldn't have gone into the office today; I can't concentrate worth a damn."

"Do you mind asking me how it went last night?"

"Well, Dave asked if we could talk and he pretty much just came out with it. I was dumbfounded and asked a lot of questions, just trying to figure out if he was serious. Then I realized how upset he was and about kicked myself in the ass. Fortunately I was able to rein myself in and give Dave what he needed. At least I hope so." Paul sat back against the back of the booth and shrugged again, "He talked; I listened." He swallowed hard. "Damn, it wasn't easy to watch him so broken up. And I'm not sure I'm doing much better."

Burt nodded sympathetically.

He continued. "David told me about what happened with Kurt," Paul shook his head. He had difficulty meeting Burt's eyes. "I had no idea what was behind his mistreatment of Kurt."

"I don't think any of us had any idea about that; even Kurt didn't know what was behind it all when Dave kissed him in the locker room," responded Burt kindly.

"Wait!" Paul leaned across the table," I didn't hear anything about that. What are you talking about?"

"Oh, sorry-" Burt silently cursed his big mouth. He had assumed Dave told his father the whole story, "I was late to the party on this, too. I guess it was last fall. Our boys had an altercation in the locker room and Dave kissed Kurt without Kurt's permission. That's when things got really bad between them. It was within a few weeks that Dave was expelled for threatening Kurt." Burt looked across at Paul and tried to convey his empathy, "They're teenagers, Paul. It's their job not to tell us everything."

Paul just shook his head in amazement. Evidently he and David still had things to discuss. He began to wonder what other surprises were lurking. His voice cracked. "Jesus, Burt, I feel like I have to apologize for my son every time I am in the same room with you."

Kurt's father just shook his head. It was water under the bridge.

Their server approached with two plates heaped with burgers and fries. They stopped talking to pass condiments back and forth and began eating.

"Burt, you have been dealing with this whole thing much longer than I have. Do you mind if I ask you some questions?"

"Of course not. That's one of the reasons that I am here."

Paul took a drink of his soda. "I need to ask you about something that happened last week. I came home from work and Dave was in the shower. He had left the door to his bedroom open and out of curiosity I peeked in. He had left his laptop on and what I found disturbed me.

"Porn?" asked Burt, taking a bite of a French fry.

"No, it was a the website for a teen suicide center."

"Oh." Burt stopped chewing. "What did you do?"

"I didn't know what to do so I did nothing. I thought about it every day. I never worked up my nerve to say anything. But now I am wondering if it is all tied to Dave questioning his sexuality."

"Well, I'm no expert," claimed Burt, "but I do know gay kids are at greater risk for suicide. Far be it from me to tell you how to parent, but I hope you will talk with Dave. Hopefully, the fact that he finally came out to you will help him feel better, but you can't take a chance on it, can you? I mean it is possible that he was on that site for another reason entirely, but how would you forgive yourself if..." Burt trailed off.

"I know" the bearded man responded quickly. "I need to approach Dave about it. I know that he did get some relief from talking to me last night; I could tell from the way he acted. But I know this isn't over yet. He's worried about who to tell and what is going to happen at school this fall."

Burt had had his share of issues with Kurt, but facing down people who had no idea Kurt was gay was not one of them. Dave's coming out would come with its own set of challenges. "These kids have a lot on their minds at this age and being gay just adds to the pressures..."

They ate in a companionable silence for a few minutes.

"So, Burt, what has it been like for you to have a son who is gay?" Paul took another bite of his burger.

Burt smiled. "Now that is one hell of a question, isn't it?" he asked. He pushed away his plate and wiped his mouth with a paper napkin that had never made it to his lap. "My circumstances are different from yours, Paul. You've been around Kurt enough to know that he has a very unique way about him. He always has. His mother saw it by the time he was in preschool. Thankfully she prepared me. There was little question in my mind as Kurt was growing up that he was gay, but I waited for him to tell me. So, there were no real secrets involved, although Kurt had to come out in his own way, to himself, to me, and to those around him."

"Has Kurt felt depressed or suicidal?"

"Depressed for sure and also angry," admitted Burt, "although I think his problem has not been so much with being gay, because he accepts himself. His problems have more often revolved around the injustices, the poor treatment that he has had from others. He rails at the stereotypes and the lack of acceptance."

"Paul, I tell you it is difficult to watch your son fight his own way through about everything, but Kurt is a very strong young man. He knows who he is and he does not apologize to anyone for it. I learn from Kurt everyday what it means to face obstacles… I guess you can tell I am very proud of my son." Burt ducked his head, feeling rather self-conscious now that his little speech had concluded. He had made that speech many times.

"Paul, I'd like to think that acceptance of Kurt has helped him make his way in the world. I just hope that you can take Dave for who he is. You and I grew up in a different time. We really need to support these kids and it is not always easy. They need to know that their family is behind them 100 percent, because they won't get that from a lot of people they run into."

Paul nodded. "Dave is my son, no matter what. I know I'll make mistakes-I can't even guess how I should handle a lot of things that could come up. But like I said, this is all very fresh for me...can I lean on you for advice from time to time?"

"Yes, of course. And Kurt tells me this PFLAG organization is great. Maybe we should try to get to a meeting sometime."

The server came to pick up their plates and ask them if they wanted dessert. Both men declined.

"Burt, I can't thank you enough… as we sit here I realize that I really do need to be there for Dave right now. I mean that literally. I am going to call the office and tell them I won't be back for the rest of the day. I should have stayed home with Dave today." He closed his eyes and shook his head. "I can't take a chance on him doing anything to hurt himself while he is so upset."

"Dave is a great kid, with your help he will get through this." Burt tried to offer words of comfort. "He was really hurting the other night. And I know from what he said that your reactions to him are going to be extremely important. He was so scared to tell you...but he did it Paul. that was a huge step."

Paul nodded. A picture of Dave sitting in the living room the evening before came to mind. He really needed to be home. Paul had the presence of mind to reach across the table for the check the server had left for Burt. "Let me get your lunch-it's the least I can do."

Burt smiled. "I'll get it next time."

They shook hands in the parking lot.

"You are a kind man, Burt Hummel."

"Well, I have not been accused of that too often," joked Burt. "I don't know that our sons will ever be very close, but that is no reason the two of us can't get along. This is a small town, Paul. If we stick together maybe we can make it a better place for our kids. Maybe the kinds of things Dave and Kurt are going through won't have to continue. We can hope."

Texts

To Blaine: Dad is having lunch with Dave's dad today. I think Dave is going to be okay.

To Kurt: Wonderful. As long as he stays away from you I'll let him live. Getting ready for work. Missing you.

To Blaine: Have a good night. Come over when you get up tomorrow?

To Kurt: I thought you'd never ask ;) I love you.

To Blaine: I love you, too.


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