Kurt wasn't sure how it happened, but it seemed as though he was going out with Sebastian. After talking to him the day they met at the coffee shop Sebastian had asked him out to dinner and Kurt, still trying hard to get Blaine out of his head, said yes.  

Dinner turned out to be nice. Sebastian was attentive, sometimes attentive in a way that made Kurt blush, but he was also charming and interesting.

Sebastian had traveled the world, seen all of these amazing places and Kurt loved listening to his stories. If somehow listening to Sebastian made him feel a little uninteresting himself, he was sure that wasnt Sebastians fault. How impressive could Kurts stories of NYADA and work be when Sebastian had been to Milan and Amsterdam? Kurt found himself quickly turning the subject back to Sebastian time and time again and Sebastian didnt seem to mind.

"Youd love Paris, Kurt. You think New York is impressive? I mean I guess it is compared to Middle America where youre from but Paris… it is on a whole other level."

Kurt smiled and pushed his food around on his plate as they ate at the fancy restaurant Sebastian had picked out. He wanted to remind Sebastian that he was from Middle American too, though he hadnt said exactly where, but held his tongue.

"I was able to spend my freshman year in high school in Paris before coming back state side."

"That must have been nice." Kurt said. "I would have loved to see Paris when I was 15. Growing up in Lima had its… difficulties."

"Mmmm," Sebastian hummed skipping over what Kurt said about difficulties, "Paris would love you." He scooted closer to Kurt in the booth and placed a hand on his knee. Kurts cheeks flushed as Sebastian looked him straight in the eye and then glanced down to Kurts lips.

He knew what Sebastian wanted, and it was the same thing Kurt thought he wanted as well. He had to get Blaine out of his head. They were just friends nothing more.

"We could get out of here." Sebastian said his voice lower and his eyes still boring into Kurt. "Go back to my place? Its close by."

Kurt cleared his throat nervously. "I… sure okay." He nodded determined to see this through.

They paid for dinner and Sebastian took his hand as they walked the few blocks to Sebastians apartment. Kurt started to feel more and more nervous with every step. This was their first official date and now Kurt was going home with him? Was he the kind of guy who slept with someone on the first date? No. Kurt thought to himself. Youre the kind of guy who hires an escort for his first time and then promptly falls in love with that escort.

They stopped in front of Sebastians apartment building as he unlocked the door. This was happening then, he was doing this.

"I cant." Kurt blurted out.

Sebastian looked up from his keys in surprise. "What was that?"

"I mean… I had a good time at dinner. I hope we can do it again soon, but maybe it would be better if I didnt go up with you." Kurt's heart was pounding in his chest, he just wasn't ready.

Sebastian sent him a little smirk and stepped closer, his face just a breath away from Kurts. "Come on. It will be fun, I promise."

Kurt shook his head. "Not tonight."

Sebastians brow furrowed in disappointment, or maybe frustration, but soon he was smiling again. "Okay. Some other time." He leaned in and Kurt held his breath as Sebastian brought their lips together. It wasnt a bad kiss, in fact as Sebastian reached up and held onto his shoulders Kurt had to admit it was a very nice kiss, Sebastians lips were soft but eager and he clearly knew what he was doing. When they pulled apart Sebastian was smiling broadly. "Ill talk to you soon."

Kurt couldnt find his voice so he just nodded. Once Sebastian was inside and out of sight Kurt leaned against the wall of the building, his legs feeling a little wobbly. Okay, this was good, right? After all this time of being stuck on Blaine he was finally working to get over him. Hed gone out with Sebastian, hed kissed him and it was all really nice.

So then why did his stomach feel hollow and his throat clogged with tears?

Because I love Blaine. It was a simple answer really, he was in love with someone who didnt love him back. Hed always wanted to feel this way about someone and had even feared sometimes that maybe he wasnt capable of really truly being in love, but now he was… and god did it hurt. He never imagined love hurting this way.

He started slowly wondering home, lost in thought. He took the subway and got off at a familiar stop, he kept walking and didnt even realize it wasnt his home that his feet were taking him too. He stood in front of Fairytale Press looking through the windows to the warm dimly lit interior. It was closed now, he wondered if Blane was home in his little apartment in the back or if he was out… working. He decided he was already here, might as well find out.

Kurt walked around to the back of the building and took the outdoor staircase to the second floor where he knocked on Blaines door. Please be home. It only took a moment before he heard someone walking up to the door, they didnt open it though.

"Hey Blaine. Its Kurt." He called. Again it was a second before there was a response.

"Oh. Oh. Um… just a second." Kurt bit back his smile as he heard Blaine shuffling around on the other side of the door. He really didnt need to clean up for him. Finally, Blaine opened the door wearing a wide smile and dressed casually with his shirt unbuttoned over a tank. He looked relaxed and beautiful and as he smiled at Kurt, Kurts stomach swooped.

"Well this is an unexpected surprise." He said as he backed up to let Kurt in.

"Sorry for just dropping by without any notice." I didnt even know I was coming here. Kurt added to himself.

"You know youre always welcome."

Kurt looked around Blaines little apartment, hed been here before but they mostly hung out at Kurts since it was so much bigger. Blaines apartment was pretty tiny and crammed with books (as if the ones in the shop werent enough) and Blaines guitar and a keyboard and a vast BluRay collection. It also had a lot of little touches that were just so Blaine, an old-fashioned camera, a shoe polish kit, a poster for the musical Little Shop of Horrors. Kurt decided he loved it here, it even smelled like Blaine, roses and books.

"Do you want coffee? I was just making some."

"Blaine its ten oclock at night."

Blaine shrugged, "I wasnt going to bed anytime soon."

"You werent getting ready to..." Kurt paused choosing his words slowly. "To go out for the night were you?"

Blaine smiled and shook his head. "No, Im all yours. I mean… not like… you know… I just mean I wasnt doing anything."

Kurt held back a laugh and smiled at Blaine's adorable awkwardness.

Blaine beamed at him and then went to his cramped little kitchen and started a pot of coffee. Kurt followed him and leaned on the counter to watch him as he worked, loving the way Blaines hips swayed as he measured out the water and how sure and smooth his hands were as he filled up the filter with coffee. God he had it bad, everything Blaine did was just so beautiful and he was only making coffee for crying out loud!

"So what brings you by? Is everything okay?" Blaine asked over his shoulder as he switched the coffee maker on.

"Yeah, fine. I was just out on a date in the area." And okay maybe he hadnt necessarily been in the area but that wasnt important right now, and was it his imagination or did Blaines jaw tighten when he mentioned his date?

"A date?" Blaine turned around to face him crossing his arms over his chest. "Thats nice. With that Nick guy from work?" Blaine swallowed and licked his lips and looked nervous for a moment but then he smiled and waited for Kurts answer.

"No. Someone new. I met him at a coffee shop."

"Did you have a good time?"

"Yeah, Id go out with him again if he is interested."

"Hed have to be an idiot not to be interested." Blaine said turning his back to Kurt to grab some mugs out of his cabinet.

And yet, youre not interested. Kurt thought.

Blaine didnt ask for any more information about Kurts date which was fine because Kurt found he didnt really want to talk about it anyway. Blaine ended up making some popcorn over the stove, because of course Blaine wouldnt just make microwave popcorn, and then thy found themselves sitting on Blaines small love seat with coffee and popcorn and watching Brigadoon.

Kurt loved how easy things were between them, that he could show up at Blaines with no explanation and Blaine would smile and pop in a movie because being together was just right. Kurt found himself scooting closer and closer to Blaine as the movie went on and despite having finished his coffee Kurt was yawning and tired when he leaned his head down on Blaines shoulder. Blaine didnt say anything he just lifted an arm to fit over Kurts shoulders and held him as Kurt began to drift off.

Kurt wasnt sure how long hed slept but when he woke up the DVD menu was playing on repeat, the room was dark and somehow there was a blanket over him. Kurt shifted a little and then drew in a soft gasp as he realized the surface next to him wasnt the loveseat but Blaine. They were both curled together with Kurt tucked between the back of the sofa and Blaines warm sleeping body.

Kurt let out a long breath as he looked at Blaines peaceful face in the dim light of the room. Hed been this close to Blaine before of course, they often spooned at the hotel together after sex. Somehow this was different, tucked together under a blanket on Blaines loveseat in Blaine's home and Blaines soft breath on his neck. Kurt settled back down again telling himself he couldnt get up without waking Blaine - he ignored the way his heart tugged in his chest and thudded out how perfect he felt with every beat.

He looped an arm around Blaine lightly holding him and breathed him in as he let himself fall into the most restful sleep hed had in weeks.

"Good morning." A soft voice pulled Kurt out of his slumber and he blinked open his eyes to see Blaine standing near him. It took a moment for Kurt to remember where he was and why he was being woken up by Blaine, not that he was complaining. Then last night came back to him, his date with Sebastian and ending up at Blaines watching a musical and falling asleep in each others arms. Kurt sat up from the loveseat and stretched his arms over his head, feeling a little stiff from not sleeping on a bed. He yawned and looked up to see Blaine smiling at him softly.

"Ive made more coffee if you want some. I wouldnt wake you up, but I have to go down and open the bookstore."

Kurt nodded and noticed that Blaine was showered and changed and ready for the day.

"Sorry, I didnt mean to fall asleep."

"Always welcome Kurt, remember?"

Kurt got up and groaned a little as his bones creaked. Blaine chuckled. "I should apologize for letting you sleep on the sofa, you just looked so…" Blaine trailed off and a light blush appeared high on his cheeks. "You seemed to need to rest."

"Thank you, sleeping here was nice." Kurt smiled and grabbed his phone from the coffee table to check the time. "Oh good lord, I need to hurry Im having breakfast with Elliot and I dont want to keep you from your job."

Blaine made Kurt a thermos of coffee to take with him and they both walked out together. Kurt couldnt help but think how nice and natural it would feel to lean in and give Blaine a kiss and wish him a good day. It would be so easy to just pretend they were a couple. He didnt kiss him though, instead he waved goodbye as his heart sunk into his stomach. They werent a couple, Blaine didnt see him like that and Kurt… Kurt should call Sebastian.

He pulled out is phone as he walked towards the subway station and dialed, Sebastian answered quickly.

"Already thinking of me I see."

Kurt laughed, "Do you want to have dinner again this evening?"

"Hell, yes I would." Sebastian wasnt Blaine, no one ever would be, but Kurt was going to move forward if it killed him.

Kurt didnt notice the change at first, and when he did realize something was going on he wondered how long hed been missing it. It was subtle at the beginning, not as many text messages from Blaine during work. Shorter coffee dates during the week. Blaine seemed extra busy and wasnt able to come out with Kurt and his friends as often. Kurt finally noticed something was off one afternoon when he stopped by Fairytale Press just to see Blaine.

"Hi!" Kurt greeted him as Blaine looked up from behind the counter. A smile immediately spread over Blaines face and Kurt couldnt help the matching one he wore. Kurt folded his arms on the counter and leaned forward towards Blaine on the other side. "Slow day?"

"So-so." Blaine said motioning with his hand. "Weve started getting busy later in the afternoons."

Kurt nodded and then plopped his book bag onto the counter. "I brought that Swiss chocolate we sometimes get from clients at work. I know how much you love it." Blaines face brightened even more as Kurt pulled out the chocolate.

"I am so glad you came by."

Kurt laughed. "Unfortunately I cant stay too long. I have a date tonight."

Blaine paused in his unwrapping the chocolate and for a moment and his face froze, "Oh um… same guy as youve been seeing?"

Kurt and Sebastian had been going out for a couple weeks now and every time they went out Kurt told himself that would be the time he did it, that would be the time he slept with Sebastian. Every time though he lost his nerve, he knew Sebastian was getting frustrated but trying not to show it.

"Yes. Same guy. Sebastian."

Blaine looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. "Sebastian?" He asked in surprise.

"Yeah, why?"

"Nothing." Blaine broke off a piece of chocolate and popped it in his mouth and Kurt watched transfixed as he held it there letting it melt before swallowing. "It just use to know a guy with that name. So… things are going well between you two then?"

"Uh huh." Kurt answered absentmindedly as Blaine licked his lips of chocolate and Kurt started feeling a little tingly. If only he didnt know how Blaines lips tasted maybe hed be able to watch him eat like a normal human being. "I uh…" Kurt shook himself. "Yes, things are going well with Seb and me."

"Have you two slept together yet?" Blaine asked matter-of-factly, looking at the chocolate bar in his hands and not Kurt's face.

Kurt raised his eyebrows in surprise, but really considering what Blaine did for a living he supposed asking about sex wasnt a big deal to Blaine. Still something about his expression seemed uneasy. 

"We havent yet, no."

Blaine let out a breath. "Oh."

"Why do you ask?" Kurt said tilting his head and studying Blaines face.

"No reason." Blaine answered still not meeting Kurts gaze, "I know you want to get more experience… in that area."

It was Kurts turn to sigh. "Thats true… in fact I think this evening might be the right time." Of course Kurt had told himself that the last few times hed gone out with Sebastian. "I know Seb is ready."

Blaine looked up at him with wide eyes and Kurt couldnt understand why Blaine suddenly looked a little shaken.

"I mean Im ready too.” Kurt tried to clarify. “You know I wouldnt do anything I wasnt ready for."

"Right. Right." Blaine cleared his throat and his troubled expression remained. "Thanks for the chocolate Kurt, but really Im kind of busy right now."

Kurt looked around the empty store, "Busy?"

"We just got a shipment in that I should sort through."

"I could help with that-"

"No." Blaine shook his head. "I wouldnt want you to be late for you date. You should go."

"I have time."

"It's fine Kurt." Blaine said tightly and Kurt felt his stomach drop, Blaine wanted him to leave.

"Ill… just go then." Kurt said in confusion shouldering his bag. 

Blaine nodded and turned to go to the back room. 

"See you later!" Kurt called to him and Blaine sent him a distracted wave goodbye.

Kurt stood on the sidewalk outside of Fairytale Press with his hands in his pockets feeling dejected and bewildered, what had just happened? Blaine had never sent him away before. Thats when Kurt started thinking about the decreasing text messages and how he really wasnt seeing as much of Blaine lately. Something was wrong, Blaine was pulling away. But why?

Blaine couldn't be bothered by Kurt going out with someone, they were friends and nothing more, right? Though if it wasn't that, what was it? Kurt bit his lip and started down the street to the subway station, his heart a heavy lump in his chest.

Blaine felt sick for the rest of the day, an unsteady weighty feeling in his stomach that made his hands clammy. He been feeling this way more and more, especially when Kurt talked about his new boyfriend. Blaine had convinced himself he could be just friends with Kurt, he loved Kurt and just wanted to be part of his life, but Kurt was going out with someone else and it was killing Blaine.

And now it was even worse, Kurt was going to have sex with this guy, tonight. Of course it made sense that Kurt would want to share that experience with the man he was dating, but that didnt stop the thought from making Blaine want to punch something.

He shuffled around the back room for a little while, he didnt actually have a new shipment to short through, he just couldnt be around Kurt right then. Not without blurting out how he really felt and ruining everything. Eventually he went back up front and petered around until his shift was over. After that he just wasted time reading in his apartment and when he couldnt focus on a book, flipping through the channels on TV.

Eventually his stomach started to growl and he realized it was getting late and he hadnt thought to eat. But when he made himself dinner it went mostly untouched. He couldnt eat when somewhere out there Kurt was on a date with someone else, maybe they were out for drinks or a show, or maybe theyd already gone back to Kurts place, or this guys place and right now they were… they were…

Blaine stood abruptly from his small kitchen table, he pulled on a pair of shoes and smoothed down his hair and then he was out of his apartment and walking quickly to the nearest subway stop. He glanced at his phone and it was nearly midnight, he didnt care. He was being unreasonable and he didnt care. He was going to Kurts.

Less than half an hour later Blaine was standing outside of Kurts apartment door and knocking loudly, not letting himself stop and think better of it. If he had he would have turned away, but all sensible thought was clouded by, No no no, please Kurt dont be with him.

After an agonizingly long moment Kurt opened his door. He stood there in pajama bottoms and a t-shirt his hair a little mussed and his cheeks rosy. He was gorgeous.

"Blaine?" Kurts face was a mask of confusion. "What are you doing here, are you okay?"

"Are you alone?"

"Excuse me?"

"Is he here? Your date, Sebastian. He is here?"

"What? No. Whats going on?"

"I needed to see you."

Kurt folded his arms and looked at Blaine severely. "You didnt seem to want to see me this afternoon."

"I was…" Blaine ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "I know… I was acting like an idiot. Im sorry."

Kurts face softened and he stood back from the door to let Blaine in. "Whats going on Blaine?" Kurt asked his voice laced with concern.

Blaine looked at Kurts bright blue eyes down to his perfect lips and took a deep breath before diving in, he didnt even think, he just kissed him. Holding Kurts face between his hands as he moved their lips together. Kurt gasped in surprise but only for a moment, then his arms were around Blaines shoulders and his fingers tangling in Blaines hair. Blaine moaned, his body slumping against Kurt as everything hed wanted seemed within grasp.

"What… what is… this?" Kurt asked breathily as Blaines lips moved to kiss down Kurts neck in a way he knew always melted Kurt.

"I dont know." Blaine answered hoarsely. "Can we just… not care what this is for a moment?"

"Yes." Kurt gasped as Blaines hand found its way under Kurts shirt to move up his back. Kurt moaned and the sound made Blaines mind spin. He brought their mouths back together and kissed Kurt deeply as he felt him tremble against him, or maybe Blaine was trembling, he really couldnt tell. Their hands started working fast pulling at each others clothing until with a little hop Kurt was kicking off his pants and Blaine was losing his socks and they stood by Kurts closed door completely naked and pressed skin to skin, hands roaming and lips devouring.

Blaine moved to grip Kurts ass and with a groan Kurt thrust their hips together. Blaine almost shouted at the sensation and then Kurt went further lifting a leg and wrapping it around Blaine. Blaine took that cue and lifted Kurt up still holding on to his firm ass as Kurt shifted and let his legs wrap around Blaines waist. Blaine shuddered and backed them up forcefully until Kurts back slammed into the wall and their hips jutted together again. Kurt let out a sound that could only be called a mewl and Blaines arms shook with the effort of holing him up, but neither of them stopped kissing and holding and panting against each other.

"Kurt I…" Blaine started but he was hushed by Kurt.

"No no. Dont say anything."

Kurt was gripping Blaines back hard, and arched to press his ass back against Blaines hands making it clear what he wanted from him. Blaines whole body shook bucking against Kurt, they were both hard and needy and Blaine lost his grip and Kurt started slipping down the wall. Instead of stopping him Blaine just went down with him until they were a tangle of limbs on the ground, Kurt rolling over Blaine. He looked down at Blaine with round dark eyes.

"Dont move. Dont talk." Kurt commanded as he got up and hurried away.

Blaine moaned and ran his fingers through his hair needing Kurt to come back. It didnt take long before Kurt was kneeling down next to him and then hovering over him again. "Here." He said and shoved a bottle of lube into Blaines hands. "Please." He whined and that made Blaine want to do anything in the world for him.

Blaine quickly squirted some lube on his fingers and then they were back behind Kurt again working him open while their mouths stayed fixed to each other like they were both coming up from water and kissing was breathing again. The position was hard on Blaines wrist, him lying on the floor with Kurt spread out over him, but Blaine didnt care, he was so desperate right than that all that mattered was preparing Kurt as thoroughly and quickly as possible.

Kurts kisses started getting sloppier and sloppier and his breathing was heavy. "Oh god Blaine, yes! Oh god." He panted and rocked back as Blaines fingers stretched him open.

Kurt was soon ready and Blaine was trembling even more, he gripped Kurts hips and flipped them over so that he was hovering over Kurt now. He looked Kurt in the eye for a long moment that was filled with words he didnt know how to say, Kurt looked back at him just as intently.

"Condom?" Blaine finally breathed.

Kurt shook his head no and Blaines stomach dropped. "I couldnt find one."

"Fuck." Blaine groaned and leaned his head against Kurt, now what?

"I dont care. I trust you. Lets just… cant we just keep going?"

"But Kurt…"

"I know you're always safe and you get tested all the time right?"

"Yes." Blaine said looking him in the eye.

"And Ive… Ive still only been with you. Please Blaine, dont make us stop now."

Kurt face was so stunning, cheeks flushed and eyes bright, and his voice so plaintive, dripping with desire, that there was nothing Blaine could deny him in that moment. Blaine nodded his agreement and sealed their lips together again with a moan.

Blaine moved his hand under Kurt and Kurt lifted his hips, easily hooking a leg around Blaines waist as Blaine lined himself up, and with Kurts help, started to ease himself into him. Kurt clung to him, panting and whining and it took every bit of Blaines self-control not to just snap his hips forward, but to make sure he was easy and careful with Kurt. Always gentle because Kurt deserved that.

Once Blaine had fully sheeted himself inside, Kurt looked up at him with parted lips and sparkling eyes. He wrapped his other leg around Blaine and hooked his ankles behind Blaines back clinging tightly to him and pulling him in closer. Blaine kissed his lips sweetly and started to move, slowly rocking at first but as Kurts fingers started digging desperately into his back he quickened his pace. Sweat slick skin sliding together and their moans filling the air.

"Dont stop. Yes, oh god Blaine!" Kurt cried from under him and Blaine continued his rhythm feeling warm all over as yearning pooled in his stomach.

Blaine didnt say anything, afraid of what would come out if he did right now. In his head the only thing he could think was, I love you Kurt, I love you, but he dared not say it. After a while, a period of time Blaine had no way of judging, Kurt threw his head back, Blaine could feel his heels digging into his lower back, as Kurt let out a long shout – coming hard without even being touched. Blaine was right behind him, his climax tumbling though him and making his whole body shudder. He shouted Kurts name and then collapsed on top of him. They were both panting and sweaty and laying on the floor of Kurts entryway. Blaine had never felt better.

Kurt was the first to recover kissing Blaine and then rolling him off of him so they were laying side by side on Kurts wood flooring. Kurt blinked at him and smiled and Blaine reached out to wipe a tear from Kurts cheek with the pad of his thumb. Kurt took in a long shaky breath and Blaine was scared of what he would say – but instead of speaking he just started laughing.

He held his stomach and laughed so hard his whole face flushed pink. "We are… buck naked… and laying on my f-floor!" Kurt laughed.

A smile quirked on Blaines lips until he was laughing too. "Oh god." His cheeks hurt with the force of it. "Have you even mopped recently?"

Kurt started laughing harder tears rolling down his cheeks. "This is ridiculous." He sat up breathing deeply to calm his laughter and held out a hand for Blaine. "Shower?"

Blaine nodded and followed him to the bathroom where they showered together kissing each other slowly and letting their hands wander. They didnt say much, neither of them wanting to break the moment with reality. After they were clean Kurt tossed Blaine a pair of pajama bottoms and they both climbed into bed shirtless and cuddling close.

"Im glad you came over." Kurt said with a yawn as he pillowed his head on Blaines chest.

"Me too." Blaine let his fingers trail softly up and down Kurts back and was still awake and troubled long after Kurts breaths evened out in sleep.