There's A Fine, Fine Line Part II (Finn's POV)

Finn knows that people think he's stupid, the stereotypical "dumb jock" who can't think his way out of a paper bag and maybe he's not the smartest guy in the room but he's not dumb. Finn may not know the difference between Monet and Manet or understand the theory of Quantum Entanglement but he does understand people. He knows how to read them and how to make them feel good, how to convince them to do what he wants and how to tell when they want something even if he doesn't always know what that something is and right now, Rachel wants something and Finn is pretty sure that whatever it is, it's not going to be a good thing for him.

Sure enough it isn't. Halfway through a speech that he's pretty sure was meant to be supportive but was actually pretty insulting he figures out that it's about Blaine. Finn can't say he's surprised exactly; he's been treating Blaine with barely restrained contempt for weeks now and after Santana went off on him about it he knew that everybody had noticed but it still stings to hear his girlfriend list all the ways Blaine is better than him. It isn't until Rachel tells him that she's 100% devoted to their relationship that the squirmy, uncomfortable feeling of guilt roiling around in his stomach is quickly replaced with something that's pretty close to but doesn't quite reach anger. Finn knows that's not true. Rachel loves him for now, but not forever. He's good enough for high school but not college. He's fine for Lima but not New York. She'll stick with him for the present, but not the future. Finn knows that despite what she says, Rachel is 100% devoted to Rachel and Finn is just along for the ride. She proves him right a few minutes later when she trips over her words while talking about New Directions winning Nationals and instead of saying we deserve it, she says I.

Finn knows that Rachel doesn't really need or expect him to say anything and he isn't sure what to tell her anyway so he gives her a half smile and a quick hug, explaining he's late for Friday night dinner. She usually smiles at him and recites some study by some group Finn's never heard of and doesn't care about that says kids who eat with their families are less likely to get depressed, consider suicide or do drink or do drugs but this time she links arms with him and tells him to stop at the vegan restaurant she likes so she can pick up some soup for the meal.

When they get to the house Finn watches Rachel examine the decorations. Her appreciation for the sophisticated color pattern of gold, green and ivory, with splashes of champagne, burgundy and a muted blush tone that Kurt put together fills him with an overwhelming sense of pride and he can't resist the urge to point out that their house looks like it came out of a fancy magazine because of his stepbrother's talent.

Rachel's reaction is so subdued that it kinda creeps him out. "It's certainly impressive," she says, cocking her head to the side and like, examining him like he was one of the frogs they had dissected in biology last year. She's got the look on her face, the one that tells him that she's thinking or planning or something and that's never good for Finn. The last time she got that look he ended up taking swing dance lessons with her. They'd been asked to leave after three lessons when Finn accidently knocked over this old couple while trying to do a swing out.

Finn just keeps on smiling because he can't help it; whenever he thinks of Kurt or the awesome stuff Kurt does he feels this happiness that just can't be contained. Rachel just keeps on looking at him and Finn wonders if that means he'll have to take more dance lessons.

Before he can figure out how to distract Rachel from her thinky thoughts, Kurt comes through the door and Finn locks onto his presence with laser like precision. Kurt's slightly out of breath, like he's been laughing or running and his cheeks are a little pink from the cold, little bits of snow are clinging to his hair and he's smiling this small, mysterious smile like he's got the most amazing secret but he's not telling anyone. Finn wants to know what makes him smile like that. He wants Kurt to tell him all his secrets and as Kurt unwinds his scarf from around his neck and starts yelling at Finn for eating an entire tray of Christmas cookies and how lucky Finn is he'd made an extra tray for his Warblers reunion sleepover, Finn just beams because Kurt's not really mad at him. Finn can tell Kurt isn't really upset by the teasing light in his eyes and the way the corners of his mouth are fighting not to pull up into a smile.

Finn knows Rachel's still watching him with the look but his awareness of her fades into the background because all he really has room for is Kurt. Kurt's like this tiny force of nature that compels Finn to focus all of his attention on him. Kurt's all Finn can really see until he walks through the door.

Blaine doesn't even knock, a testament how much of a fixture he's become and how welcome he is in their home. He just opens the door and walks in, smiling at Finn and saying hello to Rachel while he crowds into Kurt's personal space, laughing up at the brunette and brushing the bits of snow out of his hair with a fond smile.

Finn knows his smile disappears. He can feel the tension drape over his body and mouth thin out into a tight line as his eyes narrow. He chokes out a hello and then turns quickly and grabs Rachel's hand leading her into the den and far away from the nonchalant display of affection that speaks to a level of comfort and closeness between the two boys that Finn doesn't want to think about existing.

Dinner finds Finn in the middle of an emotional minefield. Rachel won't stop looking at him like he's got the key to the mysteries of the universe and refusing to give it to her then there's Blaine. Blaine who's sitting on Kurt's other side, laying his hand over Kurt's, squeezing Kurt's thigh under the table or brushing his fingers over Kurt's when they pass the salt, calling him "honey" or "baby" or "love". Finn tries to ignore Blaine and make sure everyone else does as well by leaving him out the conversation but Kurt won't let him and then Blaine gets his attention when he starts telling Burt about how he's testing out in several AP classes so he can graduate early and go off to New York with Kurt.

"Kurt and Rachel said NYADA only lets the best of the best audition and even then they only take like 20 students. You might want to think about going to OSU like me, Puck and Santana," Finn says cutting Blaine off while he's talking about his audition portfolio.

"Finn Hudson, Blaine is amazingly talented, and his extracurricular activities from Dalton are quite impressive. Not only was he the lead soloist for the Warblers but he was on the lacrosse and fencing teams as well as a member of the academic decathlon team and a member of several student groups. He holds a perfect 4.0, is a valuable member of New Directions and was the lead in our school play," Kurt cuts in, his voice like steel. Kurt's pissed and Finn knows he's gone too far but before Kurt can really get going he suddenly stops as if someone flicked a hidden off switch. He takes a shaky breath before turning to smile at Blaine, "NYADA would be crazy not to take you," he finishes softly.

Blaine squeezes Kurt hand and some silent understanding passes between the two of them before Blaine turns to Finn with a look that doesn't quite make it to angry but is sharper than his usual friendly face and shrugs, "You're right. NYADA is terribly competitive," Blaine agrees then continues, "Kurt and I talked about it and while Ms. Pillsbury means well, we decided that putting all our eggs in one basket just isn't wise. New York and NYADA is of course, our first choice but we've also applied to Tisch, Marymount Manhattan, The American Musical and Dramatic Academy and The New York Conservatory for Dramatic Arts."

"If for some reason New York isn't feasible we've also applied to Boston University, Berklee College of Music, Carnegie Mellon University, UCLA, and as in state options Kent State and the University of Cincinnati's College Conservatory of Music," Kurt explains, glaring at Finn before looking over at Burt.

"You applied to all those schools?" Burt says carefully, knowing how in the past any attempt to convince Kurt to look anywhere but New York had resulted in the eruption of Mt. St. Hummel.

"Blaine convinced me that having a back up wasn't planning to fail, it was creating multiple opportunities to succeed," Kurt says simply.

"Kiddo," Burt says clapping Blaine on the back, "I'm gonna start calling you the Kurt Whisperer. Don't ever leave us, I'll need you around when it's time to explain that designer boots and scarves are a want, not a need."

Blaine laughs and shakes his head, "You're on your own, Burt. Only a fool gets between Kurt and his couture."

As good natured laughter echoes off the walls, Finn chews dejectedly and sighs. He didn't miss all the times Blaine said "we" and "our". He knows couple talk when he hears it, but it doesn't sound phony like when Rachel says it when talking about them. It sounded like when his mom and Burt talk about doing stuff together. It sounded real and that just…bothers Finn.

His mood lifts though, when Kurt catches his eye and smiles at him, letting him know all is forgiven. Finn grins back and starts to tell an awesome joke Puck taught them earlier about three ducks named Huey, Dewey and Puddles but Kurt kicks him under the table and shakes his head. Finn arches his eyebrow and they share a laugh, as Finn bumps Kurt with his shoulder.

When dinner's over his parents head up to their room to watch TV. He and Kurt have clean up duty. Rachel and Blaine watch from the doorway for a bit then head into the living room. As they clear the table and head into the kitchen, Finn reaches out and touches his hand to the small of Kurt's back to guide him out of the room. Even through all the layers Kurt wears, Finn thinks he can feel the heat of Kurt's (so soft) skin and he wishes there weren't so many layers between them. While they're washing dishes Finn whispers "Puddles" into Kurt's ear, harking back to his interrupted joke and making Kurt shake his head and bite back a laugh. He knows he's dangerously close to an invisible line that divides ok from not ok, but he figures Kurt will let him know if he crosses it and in the meantime being so close to the countertenor feels too good to turn away from.

As they're gathering the mugs for the cocoa and Kurt's getting out a tray for the cookies they somehow end up underneath one of the sprigs of mistletoe that Finn secretly hung up all over the house. Finn's heart speeds up while Kurt sputters on about the mistletoe being pedestrian and Finn doesn't understand that at all because it's just like, hanging there and not walking anywhere but he can't really think about that too much because Kurt has to kiss him. He feels, rather than sees, Blaine and Rachel's eyes on them and he hopes his face isn't giving too much away but he's kinda sure it is. Kurt says he wears his emotions like other people wear clothes, out for everyone to see.

Kurt gives Finn a small, chaste peck on the cheek and Finn swears that the small point of contact burns and he doesn't understand how but that small kiss on the cheek is somehow better than all the kisses he's shared with Rachel lately.

He glances past Kurt to see Rachel and Blaine and talking by the tree and he wonders what they're saying. He wonders if they're talking about him, if they're talking about him and Kurt and how wrong he is.

Finn loves Rachel, he does. He doesn't want to hurt her, just like he didn't want to hurt Quinn. It's like when he stopped loving Quinn like that and started loving Rachel. He didn't mean for it to happen it just did. Somehow Kurt moved into the spot in his heart marked The One, that special place in his heart that used to be for Quinn and then belonged to Rachel and is now occupied by Kurt. Finn's pretty sure that before Blaine he occupied that spot in Kurt's heart, or he was really, really close to it.

Rachel and Blaine look serious and Finn gets the feeling they aren't talking about glee or the fact that Kurt and Blaine kind of blindsided her with the information that they have a backup plan in case NYADA doesn't happen. Finn's mouth draws into a tight line, the way it does everytime he thinks of Kurt in New York, away from Lima, away from him. Finn knows that he isn't bothered by the idea of Kurt in New York –New York is Kurt's dream and Finn wants Kurt to have his dream. What upsets Finn is the thought of Kurt in New York with Blaine. It's the same acrimony he felt earlier when Kurt rattled off all the colleges that Blaine had helped him apply to. Finn knows that he isn't resentful because Blaine is helping Kurt plan his future, he's bitter because Blaine's helping Kurt plan their future.

Finn's startled out of his thoughts when Kurt taps him on the shoulder. "Grab the cookies, Finn and don't you dare eat any on the way to the living room," he says with mock sternness, smiling at Finn like he thinks he's perfectly adorable and wouldn't change a thing about him. It's a look Finn doesn't think he's seen on anyone's face when looking at him except maybe his mom. He likes how it looks on Kurt. Finn laughs and joking crosses his heart before dutifully following Kurt into the living room.

Rachel and Blaine exchange a look that makes Finn think that whatever they were talking about had to do with him or with Kurt or with BlaineandKurt before they make their way over to where Kurt's setting down the tray of cocoa. Kurt takes a seat on the couch and Finn immediately claims the one next to him. Blaine pauses for a minute, a look of frustration crossing his face before it's gone and he gracefully drops into the seat on the other side of Kurt. Rachel sits in the armchair next to the sofa and Finn feels a little guilty at not joining her in the oversized chair.

Finn knows he should turn around and at least talk to Rachel because she's his girlfriend and she loves him and she's his guest and it's just the right thing to do but it feels wrong because all he wants to do be next to Kurt and just breathe him in. Rachel doesn't seem bothered by it; in fact she doesn't make much of an effort to talk to Finn at all and only speaks when Kurt asks her a direct question which worries Finn a little because a quiet Rachel is an upset Rachel and an upset Rachel is never a good thing for Finn.

Finn can't take his eyes off Kurt but Kurt doesn't notice. He's too wrapped up Blaine, cuddling the curly haired singer and cooing about how much he likes it when he doesn't gel his hair down and how much fun they're going to have when Kurt goes with him on his family's ski trip and the reminder of the upcoming trip is just another source of aggravation for Finn. He has to hear all the time at school how Blaine and Kurt are "endgame" and it's enough to make him scream but this is something different.

Finn's not stupid. He knows it's one thing for their friends to think Blaine and Kurt will last forever because in high school everybody's endgame until the eventual break up but the idea that his parents and Blaine's family take Kurt and Blaine's relationship seriously enough to let Kurt go on a family vacation with the Andersons, that both sets of parents just take for granted that Kurt and Blaine will be together long enough to last until graduation and go off to college together and maybe even last beyond that just means that maybe their friends are right and there's something different, something special about Kurt and Blaine that means they are for real and for good and forever and that's just more than Finn can bear.

Disaster strikes after they're done with their cocoa and cookies. Blaine's helping Kurt put away their mugs and Finn's helping Rachel into her coat. Kurt and Blaine end up under the same mistletoe Finn and Kurt stood under a couple of hours ago. They look at each other and Blaine waggles his eyebrows at Kurt and the countertenor gives a melodic giggle and then presses himself up against the length of Blaine's body and winds his arms around his boyfriend's neck. Blaine's hands slide down Kurt's sides and settle at his hips, his grip possessive and familiar, like he's held him like that a million times before. When Blaine kisses Kurt it's with intimacy and intent, their bodies fitting against each other so tightly that not even a sliver of light can be seen between them and the knowledge that Blaine probably has held him like that a million times before crashes down on Finn and threatens to drown him.

Finn's always known that Kurt and Blaine, must do things but he'd never really let himself think about what, not even after Santana announced in the middle of the choir room that they were having sex. Now though, he couldn't deny the truth staring him right in the face. Kurt has been with Blaine. They don't just hold hands and sing songs to each other and cuddle on the couch and watch Disney movies. They touch and kiss and make each other fall apart and feel good and just…stuff. They do all the stuff Finn's been wondering about and saw in those pamphlets he stole from Kurt's room. And all it takes is for Finn to look at the way they're holding each other for him to know whatever they do it wasn't like him and Santana in that hotel room or even like him and Rachel. Sex for them is an expression of something Finn hasn't experienced yet and it makes him jealous, sad and wistful all at the same time.

What he was feeling must have shown in his face because suddenly Rachel is wrapping her arms around him and holding him so tightly he can barely breathe. He holds her back just as tight because he knows that when he lets her go he'll be letting her go and as much as it hurts and God does it hurt, it's not right to keep Rachel in his arms if Kurt's in his heart.

Eventually they let go and Finn walks her out. Rachel gives him a small, barely there kiss on the lips and cups his cheek before climbing into her car. When she closes the door Finn can hear the music that pours out of her stereo. It's one of the songs from that musical with the puppets that Kurt and Rachel like and it feels like the lady on the radio is talking right to him when she sings "There's a fine, fine line between what you wanted and what you got" because it is a fine line. Finn has Kurt. Finn will always have Kurt. Kurt loves Finn…it's just not the way he loves Blaine.

Or the way that Finn loves him.

Finn has Kurt…just not the way he wants him.

Finn stands outside watching Rachel's car until her taillights disappear and he knows that Rachel won't be coming back, not for him at least not as his girlfriend. He glances in the driveway and sees Blaine's BMW. He drove it over that morning and then left it while he rode to school with Kurt, like every morning. The car mocks Finn. It's like a 3500 pound reminder that while Rachel may have left Blaine's still there.

As Finn steps back inside and sees Blaine and Kurt still wrapped up in each other, Blaine gently running his fingers through Kurt's brunette locks and Kurt leaning into the touch instead of ripping Blaine a new one for daring to mess up his hair, a lump forms in Finns throat as he's forced to admit that not only is Blaine still there…but it's possible that he always will be.