There's A Fine, Fine Line

Rachel knows that people think she's self-absorbed and self-centered and maybe she is, but that doesn't mean that she isn't observant. That doesn't mean that she hasn't noticed the way that Finn has been acting around Blaine lately. She's noticed, in truth everyone's noticed. Finn's passive aggressive. He's combative. He's condescending and rude and always looks at the younger boy as if he's a toddler staring down the new kid at the playground who took his favorite swing.

Rachel, along with everyone else, had assumed that it was Finn's insecurities that led to the quarterback's 360� change in attitude regarding the former Warbler. After all, Finn had never done well with competition and Blaine was incredibly talented, and her former (almost) boyfriend. She had taken him aside a few moments ago and assured Finn that even if she and Blaine were more vocally and aesthetically pleasing, and Blaine had a more commanding stage presence that she was 100% devoted to Finn and their relationship and she would do everything in her considerable power to ensure that Blaine did not usurp his position as male lead in New Directions...but she did hope that Finn would be able to act in the best interest of New Directions and share the spotlight if utilizing Blaine's considerable talents would get them the win that Nationals that she…they…deserved.

Finn had simply stared at her in that adorably confused manner of his and begun to walk away, mumbling about not wanting to be late for Friday night dinner.

Since she and Finn have been together a sufficient amount of time that Rachel feels she qualifies as family (plus she has it on good authority that Blaine is a regular fixture at Friday Night Dinner and her relationship with Finn is every bit as valid as Blaine's with Kurt) Rachel invites herself along.

The Hudmel home is tastefully decorated in a color pattern of gold, green and ivory, with splashes of champagne, burgundy and a muted blush tone that only Kurt could have come up with and put together. The table is adorned with simple white pillar candles, and magnolia blossoms in a tall, champagne colored glass square. There are gold and ivory balls, wrapped in bows and hung from various points in te ceiling that look like oversized tree ornaments. The fireplace is accented with simple champagne colored garlands, elegant white candles and bits of holiday greenery. The tree is done is various shades of champagne and ivory and even the presents under the tree are wrapped in champagne and ivory colored paper, adorned with beautiful bows and ribbons.

"Kurt did it," Finn says proudly, as if anyone but Kurt could have pulled off celebrity home style Christmas decorations in Lima, Ohio. "He even went out and got the wrapping paper because he said he didn't want any tacky reindeer or Frosty The Snowman paper messing up his color scheme. Isn't it awesome?" Finn said, his voice bursting with pride.

"It's certainly impressive," Rachel agrees, cocking her head to side and studying her boyfriend, not quite sure what she's looking for but trusting she'll know it if she sees it.

Finn's beaming; smiling in a way that Rachel isn't sure she's ever seen him smile before. She doesn't get much of a chance to analyze it, because at that moment Kurt comes through the door, slightly out of breath, his pinks cheeks from the cold, a smile curling his lips and bits of snow clinging to his hair. He's unwinding his ever present scarf from around his neck, greeting Rachel and chastising Finn for eating an entire tray of Christmas cookies earlier that day when Rachel looks back at her boyfriend and instead of the embarrassed or annoyed expression she expect to find she sees him looking at Kurt with a look of pure, unabashed devotion.

Her eyes widen slightly and her breath catches in her throat but before she can double check to make sure she isn't seeing things, Blaine comes through the door. Kurt's boyfriend steps in behind Kurt, smiling at Finn and Rachel and shouting out a greeting to Burt and Carol, before casually beginning to brush the snow out of Kurt's hair.

Finn's entire facial expression changes at the display. His eyes narrow and his mouth draws itself into a tight, thin line. He mumbles a hello to Blaine, takes Rachel's hand and leads her into the den, throwing himself onto the couch with a bit more force than strictly necessary.

At dinner, Rachel watches Finn. More specifically, Rachel watches the way Finn acts around Kurt and Blaine. She notices that he takes every available opportunity to cut Blaine off, exclude him from the conversation or just be generally insulting without being obvious enough to evoke the ire of either of his parents. She also notices that his behavior towards Kurt is the complete opposite. For starters, everytime Blaine says something Finn' s lips twitch as if he's bitten into something sour and he doesn't even bother to comment but when Kurt speaks, Finn's attentive, and actively engages in the conversation. He scowls at Blaine, but he smiles at Kurt, and full on grins that make the corners of his eyes crinkle and show all his teeth. Whenever Blaine casually touches Kurt, laying his hand over his on top of the table or brushing their fingers together when he's passing the salt, Finn finds an excuse to touch Kurt by either "accidently" brushing against his arm or bumping his shoulder after telling a joke. When dinner is over and the two Hudmel boys are put to work clearing the table, Rachel notices that Finn takes the opportunity to touch Kurt even more: a hand that lingers just a tad too long on his shoulder or a guiding hand on the small of his back as they walk into the kitchen to put away the dishes. When Kurt and Finn are at the sink side by side she takes note of the way Finn leans into Kurt's personal space to whisper something into his ear that makes the countertenor shake his head in fond exasperation. Finn's behavior isn't exactly inappropriate, but there's something there, something beneath the surface scratching to break free that lets her know that it isn't exactly appropriate either. It's not sinister, but it's not completely innocent.

It isn't until that Kurt and Finn somehow end up under the lone sprig of mistletoe hung up in the house that Rachel gets it. While Kurt's sputtering about mistletoe being pass� and how he knows he didn't bring "that trite, over done, completely pedestrian and not to mention poisonous plant into the house because it does not go with the decorating scheme at all" Rachel looks at Finn and finally sees what she's been looking for all night.

Finn's looking at Kurt with such naked devotion it almost feels like she's intruding. It's as if his entire being is filled full to the brim with nothing but adoration for the brunette.

The puzzle pieces slide into place then, like the tumblers of a lock. Finn treats Blaine the way he treats Jesse St. James, as if he's trying to take away something, no someone, who belongs to Finn, someone who Finn loves. The way he treats Kurt is like he's something precious and sacred that Finn doesn't want to share or break or be without. The way Finn looks at Kurt, she realizes with a jolt, is the way he used to look at her. A look she hasn't seen in his eyes in far longer than she wants to admit. When Kurt finally relents and give Finn a small peck on the cheek the smile that Finn gives him in return is so full of love and longing that she has to walk away because she feels as if she's intruding on an intimate moment.

She's standing in the living room, in front of the tree, idly fingering one of the ivory decorations and trying not to cry when Blaine steps next to her and shoots her a wry smile.

"I'm so, so sorry Rach," he says quietly, so sincerely that her resolve almost cracks and she has to sniff and swallow a sob that threatens to escape.

"How did I not see it? How can you stand it?" Rachel asks, partly because its all she's been thinking about for the last few minutes and partly because she genuinely wants to know how Blaine can stay with Kurt knowing what he knows.

Blaine arches an eyebrow. "Rachel," he says quietly, "I'm in love with Kurt." He says it so simply, as if that's all there is to it that Rachel stares at him in open mouthed shock.

"Did you not see Finn? The way he was looking at Kurt, the way he hangs on his every word, the way he touches him? And the way Finn treats you, God Blaine, how can you just…how can you put up with that? I realize denial can be a powerful force but surely you see that continuing to cling to your fa�ade of a relationship will only cause more pain in the end. I for one, have come to the conclusion that ending things with Finn is the only viable option and as your friend I encourage you to do the same." Rachel says, legitimately concerned that Blaine's suffering from some self-esteem issue that blinds him to the reality of the situation.

Blaine gives a small shake of his head and sighs. "Rachel," he says softly, gently as if he knows he's about to hurt her and doesn't want to," I'm not ending things with Kurt because of Finn's behavior. I'm dating Kurt, not Finn. I'm in love with Kurt, and he's in love with me."

Rachel opens her mouth to argue, but promptly snaps it shut again when understanding washes over her, leaving her shaken and almost angry. Finn's in love with Kurt but Kurt's in love with Blaine. She replays every interaction she's observed that evening and focuses on Kurt's behavior.

Whenever Finn was rude to Blaine, Kurt reprimanded him and defended his boyfriend.

Whenever Finn scowled at Blaine, Kurt responded with one of his epic bitch glares.

Whenever Finn excluded Blaine from the conversation, Kurt immediately found a way to include him.

Whenever Finn looked at Kurt with stars in his eyes, Kurt missed it because he was too busy looking at Blaine as if he were the most beautiful thing Kurt had ever seen.

The truth hits Rachel like a body blow. Finn looks longingly at Kurt. Finn hangs on Kurt's every word. Finn makes excuses to touch Kurt. Finn lights up whenever Kurt comes into a room. Finn wants Kurt. Finn is in love with Kurt…but Kurt is not in love with Finn.

Kurt is in love, real, deep, possibly the forever kind of love, with Blaine.

Blaine stays because there's no reason for him to leave. His boyfriend is in love with him, not his stepbrother. Blaine isn't a substitute or second choice or second best. Blaine's relationship isn't a lie, or a cover or an illusion. Blaine hasn't lost the person he loves because Kurt isn't the one who fell in love with someone else.

Finn is the one who fell in love with someone else and Rachel is the one whose lost the person she loves. Blaine isn't in denial, he knows exactly what's going on and where he stands and he knows he has nothing to worry about.

Blaine can see when Rachel finally sees the entire puzzle and lays a comforting hand on her shoulder. "For what its worth, I don't think he meant to hurt you. I think he's just…struggling right now. I can't tell you what to do and I won't, but I will be there for you. I know this isn't something you probably want to talk about with a lot of people so if you need someone, just know that I'm here."

Rachel cracks, just a bit, one lone tear slipping down her face before she dashes it away. She knows Blaine is trying to be a good friend, trying to be supportive but part of her can't help but think its unfair that she's lost Finn but he hasn't lost Kurt. Rachel can't help but remember that not too long ago it was her that Finn wanted and Kurt was the one giving the longing looks and inventing reasons to touch and being passive aggressive.

She nods at Blaine, unable to form words that won't make her sound heartbroken or worse than that-jealous. They both turn as Kurt and Finn walk into the room with hot chocolate and cookies, Finn laughing at something Kurt said and Kurt smiling up at the taller teen with brotherly affection.

Kurt sets the tray on the table and takes a seat. Finn immediately claims the one next to him and Blaine silently sits down on Kurt's other side. Rachel chooses to sit in the armchair, letting the trio have the couch.

She watches Finn watch Kurt, who only has eyes for Blaine and she notices that beneath the jealousy and bitterness, there's sadness. Finn's hurting. He's watching the person he loves be in love with someone else. She realizes that she's not the only one being left out in the cold. She's slightly ashamed to admit it, but it helps a little, knowing she isn't the only one whose hurting, that she isn't the one not getting what they want.

Later, when she and Finn are in the doorway saying their goodbyes Kurt and Blaine end up under the mistletoe, bodies pressed together so tightly that there's no space between them, exchanging a kiss that looks like they are pouring their souls into it. She's standing right in front of Finn and she sees the way the light in his eyes dim and the way his shoulders slump forward a bit at the sight of Blaine and Kurt being BlaineandKurt and before she can give it too much thought she surges forward and wraps Finn in a firm hug.

Finn hugs her back-tightly-and even though she knows its not her he wishes he were holding onto, she buries her head in his chest and hangs on because they both need the comfort. Eventually they let go of one another and Finn walks her out. She gives him a small kiss goodbye, and gets into her car. As she slides her key into the ignition and the lyrics of "There's a Fine, Fine Line" pour from the stereo Rachel begins to sing along softly, looking back at the Hudmel house and knowing that, for her at least, there will never be another Friday night dinner with the Hudmel's.