Chapter Fifteen: Explanations and Rationalizations

"Blaine's back! He can settle this for us," Wes cried as Blaine let himself into his room that evening. "Blaine, tell Nick my pick up line is better than his."

"No, Blaine, tell Wes I am the king of pick lines and he can't hope to compete," Nick interjected.

"Actually, Blaine tell them both to shut the hell up and so David and I can hear the game," Jeff moaned from his spot on Blaine's bed.

"Please," David begged, agreeing with Jeff.

"Breaking and entering is a crime," Blaine informed his friends as he dropped his jacket on his desk. "And any pick up lines are cheesy and the refuge of the uncharismatic and truly desperate."

"Yeah, but mine is so cheesy it's awesome," Wes announced.

"By awesome he means it's a guaranteed slap in the face and knee in the balls," Nick said. "Where as mine is cheesy enough to be considered cute, flirty and is therefore effective."

Blaine rolled his eyes and collapsed onto his bed next to Jeff. "I'm sure I'll regret this, but Wes, what's your line?"

"Ok, but keep in mind, it's all in the delivery." Wes cleared his throat, walked over to Blaine and put a hand on his thigh. "You have great legs," he murmured. "What time do they open?"

Blaine's jaw dropped. "This is why you can't keep a girlfriend. Wes, please tell me you have never actually said that to a woman."

"What's wrong with it?" Wes demanded. "It's funny. Women like men who can make them laugh."

"Oh she'll laugh all right," Blaine agreed, "she'll laugh as you writhe on the floor from the pain of having your balls ripped off. I swear to God Wes you need special classes."

Nick, Jeff and David began laughing and Wes scowled. "It's better than Nick's."

"I hope not," Blaine laughed. "C'mon Duval, hit me with your best shot."

Nick stood up and came over to Blaine. "I know it's rude to stare and I apologize," he said with a shy smile, "it's just that you look so much like my next girlfriend I can't help myself."

"Take me I'm yours!" Blaine yelled, launching himself at Nick and pretending to hump his leg.

"I hate you both," Wes pouted.

"Hey now," Blaine said coming over and patting Wes on the shoulder. "If I was like, drunk and it were super dark and I was really desperate, your line would have totally worked on me."

"Fuck. You. Sideways."

Blaine made a small humming noise and leered at Wes. "Can you please? I normally top but it's been awhile and you're just so manly with the way you hold that gavel I-oomph-" The pillow Wes had thrown hit Blaine square in the face. "I take it then you've rescinded the offer."

"Speaking of us getting laid," Jeff broke in, "you and Kurt should double with me and Santana. I can safely say boys, I've met the future ex-Mrs. Sterling."

"Jeff, there have been about seven future ex-Mrs. Sterling's this year alone. Thanks for the offer, but I don't think watching our friends suck each other's faces off is my or Kurt's idea of a good time," Blaine said.

"Oh. My. God," Nick said slowly, "you just totally copped to dating someone."

"Oh shit, beware the locusts and plagues of pestilence!" Jeff crowed.

"Laugh it up gentleman," Blaine snapped, pushing Jeff off his bed. "If you think that's funny, you'll love this: Jasper wants to meet Kurt."

There was suddenly dead silence in the room.

David rose and went to the door. He yanked it open and looked both ways down the hall. Jeff went to the closet and began poking around, while Wes checked under the beds and Nick explored the bathroom.

"What the hell are you guys-"

"Ashton?" Nick called.

"Nah, this has Tracy written all over it," David insisted.

"So which is it Blaine," Wes demanded. "Are we being punk'd or are we on Scare Tactics?"

"Or are we all having one huge shared delusion?" Jeff questioned.

"Because there's no way you are seriously bringing someone home to meet the parents," Nick finished.

Blaine sighed. "First, I don't know why I'm friends with you people," he began, "second Ashton Kutcher is so done with Punk'd. Third, Jasper is not one of my parents –thank God and fourth, if I was going to get you on Scare Tactics I'd totally exploit your collective irrational fear of the zombie apocalypse."

"That's cold dude," David said.

"I'm hurt. I trusted you with my zombie fears and you'd use them for cheap, reality TV entertainment," Nick sniffed.

"Anyway," Blaine said loudly, "I'm not sure how to explain to Kurt why he's meeting my godfather and not my parents."

Jeff shrugged. "Just tell him your parents are out of the country. It's technically not a lie."

"Yeah, look there's no reason to drop all your baggage on his front step if you don't know where things are going with you two. I'm not saying to lie to the guy, I'm just saying tell him what you feel comfortable with him knowing at this point," Nick agreed.

"You've already met his dad and his friends so it's not like Kurt will think it's weird or anything that your family wants to meet him. If anything, I think a guy like Kurt will appreciate what that means," David mused.

"That's exactly the problem," Blaine exhaled. "Kurt, at his core, is an old fashioned kind of guy. He didn't really have a choice when it came to me meeting his dad. Burt wouldn't have let me take Kurt so far as the mailbox without a proper introduction. He didn't have a choice when it came to me meeting his friends either; I pretty much ambushed him at school. But me taking him to Devonwood, sitting him down for a formal dinner with Jasper, it's big. And I don't know if it's a step I want to take."

"Bullshit," Nick fake sneezed. "I've known you forever, Blaine. No one, not even JD can make you do something you really don't want to do. I know you never even mention anyone you're seeing to JD, yet you evidently saw fit to bring up Kurt."

David nodded, "You're taking Kurt to meet your godfather because on some level, you want them to meet. The why and what that means you need to figure out for yourself, but don't sit here and act like you have no choice and you're doing this under protest."

"Or try to sell us the wolf ticket that you met Burt because you had to," added Jeff. "You don't play meet the parents, Blaine. I remember when you were screwing Keenan Miller and when he "accidently forgot" to tell you his parents were coming to visit they caught you two making out on his bed. You walked out without your pants AND without introducing yourself. You would have found a way to see Kurt without dealing with his father if you had really wanted to."

"You like the kid. You want JD to like him. It really is that simple," Nick shrugged.

Blaine shook his head at his friends. "It's nowhere near that simple."

"It's only as complicated as you insist on making it," Wes replied. "Despite my excellent advice to the contrary, you are, brace yourself, dating Kurt. When you date someone, this sort of thing is what you do, Blaine."

"I don't-"

"Dude, I threw the party of the century and you didn't hook up with anyone," Jeff said. "You're thisclose to being in a relationship," he smirked.

"For fucks sake Jeff, don't point that out to him!" Nick groaned. He turned and looked at Blaine. "Don't freak out and fuck this up, dude."

Blaine stared, slaw jawed at his friends. "I'm not in a, ok, look maybe I'm dating Kurt like, normal dating, but we're not in a relationship. I don't…I can't…we aren't..." He trailed off helplessly.

"Relax Blaine," Wes rolled his eyes, "you're not planning a June wedding or anything. We're just saying what you and Kurt have going is the closest thing to a relationship we've seen you in."

Blaine blinked. He couldn't dispute the truth of what his friends were saying. "I care about him but-"

"Then let that be enough for now," David cut him off. "Don't freak yourself out over analyzing it. You like him, he likes you, build from there. This is the first real connection I've seen you make since I met you man. Don't psych yourself out."

"He doesn't know me," Blaine confessed quietly. "He doesn't know about my inheritance, my business, my parents or my fucked up family tree. He has no idea who I am."

Jeff propped himself up on his elbows and looked at Blaine. "You're wrong," he said quietly. "Kurt is probably one of the very few people in your life who knows who you are. He doesn't hold you up the expectations and obligations your family name brings. He's not afraid to make fun of you when you geek out about something or have eargasms when you listen to those pretentious indie rock bands you like. Kurt's getting to know you, not your bio, not the person you're expected to be or the person people say you are, just you."

Blaine looked at his friend. Jeff was probably the only person in the room who truly understood what it meant to Blaine to have someone care for him and him alone. As the son of a US Senator, Jeff had encountered his fair share of people who saw him as the easiest way to get to his father. He'd learned the hard way that for far too many people he was Senator Sterling's son first and Jeff second. Blaine often felt like the reason he and Jeff became such fast friends was because they were two sides of the same coin.

"I don't want to lose that," Blaine confessed. "He's never, not once, asked about my family or our business or how much money I have. He doesn't care and I don't want him to start."

"If he's the person you think he is, then he won't." Wes announced.

"Just chillax man," Nick advised, "Kurt's gonna be freaking out enough for the both of you."

Blaine frowned at that. He didn't like the idea of anything upsetting Kurt. "At least he won't have to worry about Jasper shooting him."

"What?" Jeff asked, confused.

David laughed. "Kurt's dad is apparently like, one of the Sons of Anarchy or something. When Blaine went to pick Kurt up for their first date, Pa Hummel had his shotgun out in plain sight."

Nick laughed. "No fucking way. He is aware that Kurt isn't a girl, right?"

"Gender doesn't play a role in parental lunacy," Nick replied, "When Jennifer and I started dating my mom plucked out one of her hairs and put it in a plastic bag so she could have it drug tested."

"Your mom is like, Charlie Sheen levels of crazy, you know that right?" Jeff asked. "And this is coming from a guy who has to have mandatory background checks done on his friends."

"Yeah man, even Jeff didn't make me whizz in a cup," David said.

"I still say the Secret Service totally hacked my Facebook," Wes grumbled.

"I don't get Secret Service details, Wes," Jeff sighed.

"Then who were those guys who shadowed you for the first six months you were here?" Wes asked.

"Thing One and Thing Two were private security," Jeff explained. "Unless I have spectacularly bad karma and my dad runs for President or gets elected Speaker of the House or something like that, there's no Secret Service detail in my future."

"You don't want to be the First Kid?" David asked.

Jeff gave a bitter laugh. "The only thing vaguely appealing about that is envisioning the epic party I would throw. I'd totally bang some strippers, do some blow in the Oval Office and then post it to my Facebook wall."

"Why do feel like you aren't even kidding?" Nick asked. "Like you would actually have hookers and blow in the White House. Sometimes I think all this stuff you do is part of some plot you've cooked up to kill your parents. Like, if you freak them out badly enough they'll just stroke the hell out and drop dead."

"Hey," Jeff defended himself, "Somebody's gotta one up Clinton and it's not easy to top a Presidential blow job. Besides, I'm not trying to kill my parents. I have recently, with the help of my new therapist -who is banging by the way-discovered that I indulge in such inappropriate behavior as a means of bringing the family into a crisis state which in turn will force a closer connection."

There was silence and then Wes cleared his throat. "I think I speak for everyone here when I say: Family bonding, you're doing it wrong," Wes deadpanned.

"I didn't know that when you said you wanted to get revenge on Blaine, you really meant you wanted to sit in your room and mope like a little bitch," Flint said, throwing the video game controller he was holding to the ground.

Thad sighed. "I'm not moping, I'm planning. I realize someone with your impulse control issues may not be familiar with the concept but bringing Blaine down isn't going to be easy and is going to require more than a fist to the face," He paused and eyed Flint with obvious disdain, "Or a baseball bat to the femur."

Flint gave Thad a malicious smile. "It was to his kneecaps actually and it got my point across."

"If that point was that you are certifiably insane, yes it got your point across," Thad stated dryly.

Flint got up and stalked across the room. "Don't call me crazy," he said lowly, "I'm not crazy."

"Fine, you're not crazy," Thad replied flippantly, "cause it's totally sane to beat people with baseball bats, slash car tires and-"

"You have a point?" Flint cut in hotly.

"Nope," Thad replied, as he grabbed his phone off of his dresser and scrolled through his contacts, "But you might want to find a circle to sit in and talk about your feelings. I've known you since we were ten-you may not be crazy but you're sure as hell not normal and you never have been."

"Fuck you, Thad."

"You can't and that my boy, is part of your problem," Thad replied.

"What the hell do you mean by that?" Flint demanded.

"I mean," Thad drawled, "that I've wanted to ask you if Prince Caspian is really as dreamy as he seems."

"Really Thad, you're throwing Narnia references at me now?" Flint said with a forced laugh. "That's just sad. I'm not gay."

"That's what Ricky Martin said in 2000, now twelve years later and he's puking rainbows and riding unicorns," Thad retorted.

"Shut up, Thad," Flint growled.

"It took me awhile to figure it out, why you hate Blaine," Thad said steadily. "It's obvious why I dislike him, I've disliked him since we were two and the little bastard made me eat dirt. Since then he's made it his mission in life to screw me over and take things that should be mine. You though, you don't have a reason to hate him; he barely acknowledges your existence."

"So I can't dislike the guy simply because he's an arrogant, self serving, attention whore and a disgusting sexual deviant?" Flint snapped.

"You can," Thad conceded, "But you don't. You dislike the guy because he likes cock and unlike you can admit without losing everything. You dislike the guy because he gets to suck and fuck cute little twinks like Kurt with nary a second thought while you're forced to play it straight."

"That's a filthy fucking lie!" Flint roared.

"I saw you," Thad said quietly. "I saw you checking Kurt out when we ran into him and Blaine at the Lima Bean and then I saw you again, eye fucking the little twat when we were at McKinley."

"Thad-"

"I don't care where you put your dick, Flint. I don't care that you apparently missed the day in kindergarten when they explained that you can't just hit people because they make you angry and I don't care that you lack the mental acumen to add two and two and come up with four. What I care about is that none of your issues become an issue for me. I am going to deal with Blaine in my own time, in my own way and bring him to his knees. Now, I know that's an exciting visual for you but I'm going to need you to restrain yourself or it's never going to happen," Thad stated calmly.

Flint burned with rage. He longed to reach out and grab Thad by the throat and squeeze. His hands itched and he flexed his palms.

"Careful Flint, my daddy has more money than your daddy. I'm not some unfortunate son of the help. You put your hands on me and you'll end up in a sharing a cell with some large man named Bubba," Thad laughed and began composing a text message to Quinn, "although you'd probably like that. Run along now, Flint. I'm busy and you're boring me."

Flint turned on his heel and left the room, slamming the door behind him. He leaned against it and tried to get himself under control. He ached to go back in the room and beat Thad black and blue but he knew that he couldn't. Thad was right; he couldn't attack him outright. Thad's family was more influential than his and if he attacked him he wouldn't end up with a slap on the wrist this time.

Besides, he needed Thad to deal with Blaine. Flint's lips curled in a sneer as visions of Blaine swirled in his head. Flint hated Blaine even more than Thad did, but not for the same reasons. Flint didn't hate Blaine because of who he was. Flint hated Blaine because of what he was and what he represented. He hated how Blaine Anderson walked around flaunting his abnormality as if he had nothing to be ashamed of. He hated how open Blaine was with his sexuality and his sexual conquests. He hated how easy everything was for Blaine and he hated how Blaine didn't deserve or appreciate it.

Most of all, he hated that he could still feel Blaine's hands ghosting across his body and the twin rivers of guilt and shame that poured through him every time he remembered the embarrassment of a morning after that occurred following their one night of shared passion.

"Blaine," Flint began hesitantly, "Last night was amazing and this morning was spectacular but I…I'm not gay. I'm not saying we can't you know, again-or that I don't want to see you anymore, because we can and I do. I just think it's best if we don't tell anyone we're seeing each other."

"Seeing each other?" Blaine repeated blankly. "Flint, you suck one hell of a cock and ride like a rodeo pro but I don't date. When and if I do decide to date it won't be a self hating closet case. If you're looking for a boyfriend, secret or otherwise you're looking in the wrong place. Don't worry, I have no interest in outing you-I don't care whether you're front and center at a pride parade, living in a glass closet or taking up residence in Narnia. I was horny, I wanted to fuck, and you let me. We're done here."

Watching Blaine walk away from him, leaving him a sweaty, semen covered mess had been the single most humiliating experience in Flint's life. He'd wanted to extract revenge, but he knew that if he went after Blaine himself everyone would want to know why and that was a secret that simply could not get out.

Thad and his ridiculous vendetta had offered him a way to get the vengeance he sought without putting himself on the line. Thad however, was taking far too long for Flint's liking and Blaine was becoming more insufferable by the day.

Flint was consumed by resentment as he remembered being forced to accompany Blaine to McKinley to serenade his latest conquest. It had been degrading to stand there and harmonize with the other Warblers while he watched the boy who had flat out rejected him so publicly pursue another. Flint had seethed inwardly at being forced to help Blaine seduce Kurt Hummel.

Kurt Hummel. Flint had to admit he saw the appeal. He was gorgeous, all pale skin and pink lips, looking like innocence personified. His personality however was anything but that of a wilting flower if his display at the Lima Bean was any indication. Seeing him with his friends at McKinley had revealed yet another side to the boy and Flint found that his initial jealousy and dislike quickly fading into something resembling fascination. It unnerved him to be drawn to another boy, the last thing he wanted a repeat of the fiasco that had happened with Blaine and Kurt was just so obviously gay, but there was something intriguing about Kurt's mix of vulnerability and strength that, much to Flint's chagrin, drew him in.

Plus he was Blaine's and the idea of taking something, anything from Blaine had its appeal.

Flint pushed himself off Thad's door and began to make his way down the hall, thoughts of Blaine slowly being replaced by thoughts of Kurt. Thad may be content to sit around on his hands but Flint was a man of action and he needed Blaine to begin suffering sooner, rather than later and Kurt Hummel was the key to making that happen.