He feels himself wake slowly, the body he’s in comfortable. Long and lean and definitely supported by extremely comfortable sheets. He waits to open his eyes, instead taking stock and just letting the body he’s in pull up to full wakefulness.

He’s a male. He stretches his limbs and finds that he is able to move very well. His mouth feels like sandpaper and tastes of sour alcohol, so his host must’ve had a great time the night before, especially if the pounding in his head is any indication.

It’s when Blaine opens his eyes that all hell actually breaks loose inside his mind.

He throws himself from the familiar bed, with its reds and whites, feet hitting the white carpet. The gigantic mirror across from him shows a face full of as much shock and horror as he’s feeling, and that’s saying something considering Blaine feels like he’s going to shatter right out of this skin.

He reaches up a tentative hand and pokes at the face he’s hiding behind, feeling the slight discomfort of the hangnail on Sebastian’s left pointer finger.

Yes, he’s actually here again. In Sebastian’s house. In Sebastian’s skin. Blaine wraps his arms around his torso, attempting to physically hold himself together while flipping through scenarios and thoughts in his head.

Something’s wrong with the host I was supposed to be today so I reverted.

No, that’s never happened. Ever. He’s never been in the same host twice. Not in better than 2500 days.

I’ll call my mom. She’ll know how to help.

Again, a dead end. He doesn’t know how to contact her, what her number is or, he shudders involuntarily, if she’s even still alive.

Blaine shutters through various other ideas; grasping at straws that really have no meaning because, honestly, he’s never been here before.

He looks at the ceiling as though answers will be printed there in bold black and white before his feet are backing him up to the bed again, legs surrendering to the edge of the mattress as his body folds in upon itself under the covers. He curls up in the fetal position and begins to cry.

***
If Kurt is being honest with himself, which he’s been trying to be all day, he knows he’s just waiting, puttering through mindless tasks around the house trying to wile away the hours until Blaine can find a way to contact him.

So far it hasn’t happened.

It’s Saturday, so he knows that Blaine should have the opportunity to get ahold of him somehow if he’s still around.

But it’s 4:45 in the afternoon.

And he still hasn’t called.

If Kurt is honest with himself, he’s a complete and utter wreck.

He doesn’t want it to be over like this. Never knowing if Blaine will come back, never knowing if he’s just gone or unable to contact him. He doesn’t want to have to wait until sometime in the night when an email will appear, Blaine telling him he’s in Mongolia or something.

He wants a chance to say a proper goodbye.

Or not really because, since he’s being honest, he’s never saying goodbye to Blaine, even if it is going to slowly kill his heart.

The only interesting thing that’s happened during this day was forty-five minutes ago when Sebastian had tried to call him. First from his cell phone, then from his house phone. Over and over. Finn had put a stop to it by picking up the phone and telling Sebastian that the Hummel-Hudson household doesn’t accept phone calls from douchebags and that had been the end of it.

Kurt couldn’t help but smile at that, Finn defending his honor in such a Finn-ish way.

He’s stretched out on the couch with the September issue of Vogue, vaguely attempting to pay attention to the Fashion Week previews, when the doorbell rings.

He doesn’t even move since Finn is already in the kitchen, and he hears his heavy steps echo down the hall as Finn makes his way to the door. Kurt continues reading until he hears raised voices.

“You are NOT coming in this house, asshole!”

Now that Finn’s shouting Kurt’s off the couch quickly, hurrying to the door to see what the problem is.

He stops dead in his tracks the moment he can see beyond Finn’s hulking frame.

Sebastian is there, standing in front of Finn, but it’s like a shell of his former boyfriend. He’s dressed in ripped jeans and his shirt looks like it was thrown on backwards. His shoes are barely laced and not even tied, and his hair is in such disarray that he hardly looks himself. Kurt moves closer and he realizes he can smell Sebastian - and it’s not a good thing.

“Kurt, go back to the living room, I’ll deal with this one.” Finn commands, trying to push Kurt back, shielding him from Sebastian’s ruined face.

“Please,” Sebastian begs, his voice breaking on the syllable. This is what stays Kurt’s hand, what makes him grasp at Finn’s shoulder and turn him away.

“I can handle this, Finn. It’s okay. Go finish making your sandwich.” he says, pushing his way to the doorway.

Finn eyes him critically.

“You sure, dude? He’s a mess.” Finn finishes the sentence with a nod toward Sebastian that suggests extreme disdain.

“I’m sure Finn. Go.” Kurt tries to put as much steel into the last part because part of him just wants to hug Finn for trying to take care of him but he needs to deal with Sebastian before that can happen.

After Finn takes his leave he wheels on Sebastian, fully prepared to work him over the coals when Sebastian’s rushing him, wrapping his arms around Kurt before he can even move and grinding his forehead into his chest and sobbing.

Kurt stands stock still, unsure of how to even proceed with Sebastian’s tears soaking his shirt; his fingertips kneading at Kurt’s back like he can’t get close enough.

It takes Kurt a moment before he realizes Sebastian’s speaking and he leans down, straining to hear.

“It’s never happened before and I just don’t know what I did and what maybe I’m dying and no one can tell me what to do and I tried to call but you wouldn’t pick up and-”

Kurt pulls Sebastian away from him roughly, trying to shock him into stillness and it works. Sebastian stands there, fingers still grasping at air but not moving toward Kurt as Kurt begins to speak.

“You can’t do this to me. Treat me like I hardly matter and then lose your shit just because I broke up with you. You can’t just show up here and think that just because no one’s ever broken up with you you can just- can just-” Kurt loses his thread because Sebastian’s shaking his head violently against Kurt’s words and chanting “no, no no.”

“No what, Sebastian? What part of what I am saying is wrong?”

“I’m not Sebastian!” Sebastian almost yells, his arms out at his sides in surrender. “I’m-” he lowers his voice conspiratorially, looking around as if he’s just realized where he is. “I’m Blaine, Kurt. BLAINE. I- this- I’ve never been the same person twice. Never. What if something’s wrong and I don’t know what I did! What if-”

“Oh my god, Blaine,” Kurt bursts, rushing forward to gather Blaine up in his arms and hold him, stop him from shaking apart. “Come inside, come on.”

He pulls at Blaine, making him walk through the door with some difficulty. Kurt closes the door with his hip, pulling Blaine down the hall toward the stairs to his room as Sebastian’s fingers wipe at his eyes.

“I-I’m sorry, I just was all alone and there’s no one to talk to about this. I just-” Blaine begins as Finn appears in the doorway.

“What the hell, Kurt? This is your way of handling this? To let the guy in?” Finn admonishes and then turns to Sebastian. “And you - your crying is a fucking joke, dude. It’s not like he didn’t see those texts to the other guys you were fucking. Get over it and get out.”

Kurt smiles a tight smile at Finn because if this were any other situation he would be praising Finn’s actions up down and sideways but right now? He’s a pain in the ass.

“Finn!” Kurt’s sharp tone catches Finn’s attention and Kurt holds it with his steady gaze. “I have this under control, I promise. I’m not getting back together with Sebastian and he’s not taking advantage of me, but he is all alone and needs someone to help him and I don’t mind, honestly, so back off for now, okay?” The pleading note at the end of his sentence isn’t lost on Finn, but he shakes his head anyway.

“Okay, yeah, whatever. Don’t come crying to me when he’s a dick again, though, dude.”

With that he strides back into the kitchen, mumbling to himself and stomping around slamming things.

Kurt sighs and tugs on Sebastian’s fingers again, leading him upstairs.

“Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up and feeling better, sweetie.”

***

When they reach Kurt’s room Blaine’s not crying anymore, but his whole body is shaking, making Kurt’s nerves stand on edge.

“Blaine?” he asks, tentatively touching his elbow as Sebastian sinks down onto his bed.

Blaine looks up at him, his eyes clearing a bit.

“I’m sorry for just coming here. I just...this has never happened before, Kurt. Ever. I’ve never been in the same body twice. I don’t know if it’s something I did or if it’s normal or if it’s part of the process. They never told me anything like this and I-”

Kurt scowls, interrupting Blaine’s rambling.

“Who is they anyway?”

Blaine stops and stares at him and then scrubs his hands over his face.

“That is such a long story and I just don’t even want to-” Blaine stops and sniffs the air a moment before continuing. “Is that me?”

Kurt almost laughs at how offended Sebastian’s face looks but decides against it when the face changes to horror.

“It is me, isn’t it? Holy shit, Kurt, I am so sorry I didn’t even think about what I was doing I just realized that there was finally a person I could talk to, finally someone who knew and I just lost it and it’s you and I just want to be so fucking close to you right now and I know it’s not fair and-”

Kurt shushes him by clamping his hand over Sebastian’s mouth.

“Blaine. Stop. It’s okay, I promise. I have a shower and extra clothes - comfortable ones if you’re planning on staying awhile - and you can just breathe, honey. I know you’re freaking out but I’m here, okay?”

Sebastian just stares at Kurt, his eyes filling again.

Kurt tries not to look, tries not to fall in love with the person behind Sebastian’s face because it hurts and it’s not just about helping Blaine or fixing him, it’s about who he is. He turns then, away from that face and these feelings to get clothes from his dresser.

“Do you want jeans or are you looking for something more like, like sweatpants or something because I have like, yoga pants here...” Kurt trails off, waiting for Blaine to respond.

“I think it would be hilarious to wear your yoga pants with these long legs,” Blaine says behind him, Sebastian’s soft laugh at the end.

It’s messing with Kurt’s head in the worst way, Blaine’s thoughts with Sebastian’s voice, his body.

He turns back to Blaine, proffered pants and a white long-sleeve shirt held tight to his chest.

“Follow me and I’ll show you where all my shower things are.”

Kurt ushers Blaine out the door, mindful of the tension settling thickly between then. He can tell Blaine is thinking on something - thinking hard, but it could be so many things that Kurt tries to ignore it until Blaine’s ready to speak.

They make it to the bathroom, Kurt setting the clean clothes beside the sink and then turning from Blaine to sweep open the shower curtain and point out his products to Blaine before he speaks.

“Stay.”

It’s just one word, one syllable even, but its weight is heavier.

Kurt turns to Sebastian, the body of the young man he was dating standing before him with the eyes of someone he barely knows yet knows more than anyone. His breath gets stuck somewhere in his between his lungs and his throat as he looks into Blaine, seeing the depth of his need and the want for the closeness that Kurt had sought so desperately two days before.

“I-” Kurt starts, finding his voice and tugging at his shirt, “I’ve never been fully naked in front of anyone before, so...” He trails off, unable to look away from Blaine’s eyes, blazing blazing blazing. “I mean, it’s not about that right? Because - no offense you smell like a bar and I’m thinking if he was at a bar then he was probably with some guy and-”

“It’s not about that, Kurt. I just...I just need you,” Blaine states clearly, unashamed of what he’s asking. “I mean, it might get awkward but...we can work around it, right?”

Kurt flushes crimson. He’s already losing his grip on the tight coil of desire flooding his body and the prospect of something so intimate, so daring as what Blaine’s asking for is so much, too much.

“Okay.” he replies, not regretting it the moment he says it because he knows it’s what he wants too, no matter how frustrating and confusing it might be for both of them. He just wants to be as close to Blaine physically as he has been finding himself mentally, even in these circumstances.

Blaine crowds his body then, getting into Kurt’s personal space and slipping his fingertips under the hem of his shirt. Kurt shivers, his breath hitching, skin afire. He watches as Blaine begins to draw his shirt up, Sebastian’s fingers tickling at Kurt’s ribs as the material meets his underarms and finds a roadblock. Blaine lifts his eyes to Kurt’s, begging permission, before bringing his mouth to Kurt’s, breath ghosting against Kurt’s lips. He licks delicately at the full bottom one, teasing gently and drawing one small moan from Kurt’s throat before pulling back minutely to tug at the shirt.

“C’mon. Off.” He whispers, mindful of Finn downstairs.

“I’m not going to make it through this,” Kurt murmurs back, lifting his arms for Blaine to strip him bare.

Once his shirt’s on the floor and so is Blaine’s, Blaine looks up.

“Neither am I, but we’ll figure it out,” he intones, moving in to unbutton Kurt’s jeans.

It’s a process, getting Kurt out of the pants, because even on Saturdays they’re quite tailored to his hips; slim down through his thighs. Blaine takes his time, running his fingertips over the material of Kurt’s underclothes, laughing low at the twitches it elicits. One the pants are down and off, he moves deft fingers over how own worn jeans, removing them quickly and kicking them onto his discarded shirt. He looks up then, drinking Kurt in in earnest.

“You are devastating,” he muses, stepping forward to hook delicate fingertips into the elastic of Kurt’s briefs.

“I sincerely hope you mean that in a good way,” Kurt retorts, slipping his hands down Sebastian’s chest and reaching the scrunched fabric that will even the playing field.

Blaine groans, a low growl that curls around the base of Kurt’s spine and runs over his skin in scorching waves. “The best way, Kurt,” he manages, pulling at Kurt’s briefs and sliding them down Kurt’s impossibly long legs before tapping at his ankles to pull them all the way off. He stands, his eyes studiously focused on Kurt’s as Kurt responds in kind and in moments they are naked, stubbornly staring at each other, willing the other to break first.

“I’m going to win this, either by sheer force of will or nervousness,” Kurt says, a smile in his voice.

“I don’t mind losing,” Blaine teases and then looks down, taking in a quick huff of breath as he eyes Kurt’s body. Lean, toned, and soft yet strong in all the right places, his cock hangs half-hard and perfect against his thigh.

After a few moments, Kurt’s had enough.

“Jesus, Blaine,” Kurt curses, taking his moment to distract them both. He doesn’t really want to look at Sebastian naked. Doesn’t want to be one more guy who’s seen him this way and wanted him. It’s not Sebastian he wants. “Let’s just get you clean.”

They climb in the shower, the tension between them lifted, if just for the moment. Blaine reaches for the shampoo, but before he can get there Kurt’s hands are on it, squeezing out a small dollop and returning it to its perch. Kurt looks at Blaine for permission and then begins kneading his fingertips through Sebastian’s hair, massaging his scalp and cleaning him thoroughly, making his body respond in all the wrong ways.

“Apparently I like you cleaning me,” he says, not even trying to hide the erection he’s sporting because, honestly, there’s no point.

“Oh my god, hush,” Kurt exclaims, leaning over Blaine’s shoulder to move the water spray over Blaine’s head, quieting him as the shampoo runs down Sebastian’s back in rivulets. He busies himself with the body wash while Blaine rinses the remainder out with his hands, squirting the fragrant liquid onto a loofah and then kneading it lightly to get a good lather.

Sebastian’s eyes open and for a moment it’s not Sebastian but Blaine, phantom eyes he’s never seen burning into him before Kurt’s averting his gaze and focusing on his task, scrubbing at the skin on Sebastian’s torso. He doesn’t notice, however, that Blaine’s taken the shampoo and gotten some for Kurt before Sebastian’s fingers are in his hair, scrubbing it gently and making Kurt squirm.

“Why does this feel so good?” Kurt asks quietly, kneading his soapy fingers over Sebastian’s shoulders.

“Because you’re being taken care of in a simple, base way. In a way that no one has ever taken care of you but yourself and you’re letting me in, letting me touch you like this.” Blaine replies, his hips gently rolling but not coming into contact with Kurt at all.

Kurt takes a moment to wash the shampoo from his hair, jumping when he feels the loofah he had been holding sliding down his chest, catching against his nipples and making him sigh.

He opens his eyes and takes in Sebastian - Blaine in Sebastian’s body he mentally amends - and smiles to himself. He’s never felt so close to someone in his entire life. Blaine’s looking at his body reverently, gentle fingers making short work of cleaning Kurt, making him feel so, so loved.

Loved.

It hits him like a freight train. Blaine’s in love with me. He’s read the emails, he knows Blaine’s said it, but the soft smile on Sebastian’s lips, the delicate care with which Blaine handles his body, the joyous way he says Kurt’s name, these things show him more than reading anything anywhere ever could.

And I love him, he thinks and, whoa, the bathtub is suddenly much smaller, and Blaine much nearer than he’s been before because the solid weight of how much Kurt cares feels so much larger than he can handle.

“You’ve done this before,” Kurt says, fishing for some way to calm himself, ground himself in the knowledge that this isn’t the same for Blaine as it is for him.

Blaine looks up, squeezing the loofah between his hands and wringing it out as he speaks.

“No, actually, I haven’t. I mean, I’ve had sex. As a girl, as a boy. But not as a man or a woman, really. The hosts - they’re always the same age as I should be so it’s only been in the past few years that sexual things have happened. And the teenagers I’ve been haven’t really gotten to the showering together thing in the short time I inhabit their bodies. This is a - this is a first for me. And if I were in my body, if it even exists anymore, it would be like yours. Never touched, I mean. Unless before Sebastian...?” He trails off, having revealed much to Kurt.

“No, and wait...if it even exists anymore? What does that mean?” Kurt asks, a shiver down his spine despite the hot water pounding down his back.

“It’s complicated and mom didn’t say much, but I’ve done this since I hit puberty - I was around twelve and a half, I guess. Something about genes and an experiment with longevity but it didn’t work and my dad, he was the shifter, he slept with my mom and then was just gone but...well, when I was born they came to talk to her. My genes were dominant and so she had to know; to be prepared. But since the day I shifted, became this, I have never been me. But my body? Where is it? Mom said maybe it still exists somewhere somehow - she said that to me before....before, you know?”

Blaine looks away from Kurt, lower lip pressed between tight teeth making pink flesh white. He doesn’t want Blaine to dwell on this now...to lose himself in thoughts of the complications of his life. Kurt wants Blaine’s attention here. On things that the two of them can control today. He steps from the ledge.

“And-” he begins, his body silently shaking but not from the cold, “-if you were you right now, what would you do to me?”

Sebastian’s eyes widen then blow black, confusion and desire warring on his features.

“Wh-what? Kurt, I-”

Kurt backs himself against the wall around the various handles before reaching up to turn the sprayer to the wall.

“Blaine,” he says, voice gravel bass, fingers tracing down his ribs and then dipping low on his pelvis, fighting the urge to scream because he may just look so desperately stupid that Blaine will laugh at him but holding on, continuing with his choice. “If you were you right now, your body yours command, What. Would. You. Do. To. Me?” He goes for it, wrapping his right hand around the base of his cock and squeezing, a small groan escaping his lips before finally looking at Blaine again.

Sebastian’s own dick is rigid and tight, deep red at the tip and begging for attention between his legs while Blaine stands dumbfounded in the center of the tub, his eyes glued to Kurt’s hand as it works over Kurt’s own cock in earnest.

Kurt smirks to himself, wanting to cry in relief that what he’s doing is right, is perfect, and apparently is sexy, which shocks him most of all.

“Tell me, Blaine,” he pants out, the soft waves of pleasure from the tight heat of his hand distracting his thoughts.

He watches Sebastian’s body back up until Blaine’s leaning against the back wall, taking himself in hand Kurt grip the base of his cock hard, willing himself not to come.

“Do you want to close your eyes, or...?” Blaine asks, looking both sexy and sad in the same moment.

Kurt considers it a moment. Yes, it’s Sebastian’s body and yes, it’s Sebastian he sees but the intent is all Blaine. His intent is all about Blaine.

“No,” Kurt decides, “I want to see what I do to you.”

Blaine huffs, his head dropping, chin almost at his chest as he squeezes his own dick in an attempt to calm down.

“I know this body is no virgin, Kurt, but if you say shit like that I’m going to come now and it’ll be over.”

Kurt grins slyly at him, slowing his pace and dragging his fist up his length before slicking his palm over his head teasingly while speaking again. “You love what I do to you, don’t lie. So talk. If you were you, what would you do?”

Blaine stares into his eyes, fist lazily pumping at Sebastian’s cock, chest rising and falling quickly with the pace of his leisurely thrusts.

“I would blow you, that’s for sure,” Blaine begins, his eyes roving over Kurt’s body as he speaks.

Kurt groans and hits the palm of his left hand against the wall of the bathtub lightly. Fuck, he’s not going to be able to take this.

“Get right down on my knees and suck you until you couldn’t speak and your fingers were threaded through my hair, spurring me on.”

Kurt gasps, trying to picture it while his hand speeds up.

“And after I made you come, wherever you wanted, I would beg you to finger me because I know in every body I’ve done it in it’s been good.”

Kurt shudders, his orgasm building low and sweet in his spine, his cock leaking freely, making his hand slide with slick perfection.

“And then,” Blaine drawls, watching Kurt through slitted eyes, head angled back against the shower wall, “I’d want you to fuck me, Kurt, because I’d want you inside, so close I can feel it everywhere.”

At that Kurt’s undone, waves of pleasure starting at his groin and wracking his body as he comes in spurts on the bathtub floor. He’s vaguely aware of Blaine coming to his own release, repeating his name over and over under the water’s cadence.

It’s quiet for a moment, both men leaning heavily against the wall as the lukewarm water starts to clear the floor of the tub. Kurt’s first to move, grabbing his soap and putting a small amount on the floor before swiping through it with his feet and trying to ignore the implications of what he’s doing.

After he’s through he crosses the small space to Blaine, leaning himself bodily against him, his chin on Blaine’s shoulder.

“There’s something to be said for mutual masturbation,” Blaine states, his face buried in Kurt’s hair.

Kurt starts to giggle because, honestly, that just happened and he needs somewhere to put his emotions.

“Yes, definitely,” he agrees and they both giggle then. “We need to get out, though. The water’s running cool and I don’t even want to begin to think about what Finn thinks is going on in here...”

Blaine’s standing them up then, and smoothing Kurt’s hair. “I don’t really care. Finn’s a nice guy and all but he’s not the one I really care about seeing.” Blaine pulls Sebastian’s thumbs down the side of Kurt’s face until his hands are cupping his chin, then, and Kurt’s heart lurches in his chest at how little time they have left in the day.