June 13, 2013, 3:47 p.m.
Lost With You: Chapter 19
T - Words: 3,868 - Last Updated: Jun 13, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 23/23 - Created: May 01, 2012 - Updated: Jun 13, 2013 1,192 0 8 0 0
"...Dad?"
"Blaine, hello," he greeted, trying to sound casual, but Blaine could tell there was something behind it.
"W-what are you doing here?" he questioned immediately. He felt like he was frozen. He stared up into the hazel eyes that were so similar to his own, trying to figure out his motives and trying to be strong. Kurt would want him to be strong. Kurt would want him to stand up for himself.
James Anderson looked as composed as ever, but Blaine saw that there was more, could see that he looked less confident than he had in years. Blaine could tell with one simple look into his eyes, "I want to talk to you," he said more gently than Blaine had anticipated it sounding.
"If you're just going to yell at me, don't even bother coming in," Blaine said defensively. He really couldn't deal with being called a disgrace right now of all times. He had an amazing morning with Kurt and he wasn't about to let his dad ruin it.
"Blaine," his father sighed, "Please just let me in," he pleaded.
Blaine stepped aside and allowed his father to walk past him before shutting the door behind them. James walked straight to the living room area and sat down on the little couch that he had. Blaine followed him into the room, not entirely knowing what to do with himself. His father hadn't started yelling yet. When would he start? That's definitely why he was here, right? Blaine felt so awkward just standing in front of him, "Do you, um, do you want anything?" he offered, figuring it would be smart to start off polite.
James shook his head, "Will you sit down?" his father gestured to the seat next to him. Blaine did as he was asked as he mentally started preparing himself for what was to come. His father took a deep breath, "Your mother talked to me yesterday."
He furrowed his brow, "About what?"
"You spoke with Cooper after our phone call the other day?" It came as a question, but Blaine knew that he already knew the answer.
"Yes," he admitted cautiously. He hadn't even told Kurt that he had talked to Cooper. It was just one of those spur of the moment ‘I need my big brother' things.
James nodded once and looked at where he was wringing his hands nervously in his lap, "After that, Cooper called your mother and told her everything you told him, which was apparently everything that I've been saying to you over the last few years," he looked at his son for some sort of confirmation and Blaine nodded, "She talked to me after that," he stated.
He paused for a long moment and Blaine took that as his opportunity to ask, "About what?"
His father sighed loudly, "About what a terrible father I've been to you," and all of a sudden, guilt was the most prominent emotion in his strong, dark features, "She opened my eyes to how I've been treating you and the awful things I've been saying to you ever since you told us that y-you were gay," he looked up and Blaine looked back at him. For the first time in years, Blaine didn't see disappointment or hate in his eyes, only regret and remorse, "I just wanted to say that I am so sorry. For everything. I should have been supporting you through everything you've been through, but instead, I've been ignorant and prejudiced because I didn't understand at first. I didn't understand, nor did I want to open myself up to trying. Your mother reminded me of the things I've been saying to you and I felt so disappointed in myself for not just listening to you and accepting you as my son, like I should have."
Blaine's voice was laced with so much emotion when he spoke that he was having trouble getting the words out, "Do you really mean that?" he asked. His father admitting a fault and apologizing was huge; it was something he rarely did and when he did do it, it wasn't something to be taken lightly. Blaine could barely believe his ears.
"I do," he confirmed.
"Then why did you say the things that you did?" Blaine practically demanded. He deserved to know and if he didn't ask now, he knew he would never have the courage to ask it again.
James sighed, "Because I was scared."
"You were scared?" he blurted, "Scared of what?"
"Of you facing the world and what the world would throw at you," he started, "You're my little boy and I didn't want to see you get hurt. I thought you being straight could save you from that, when I should have been concerned with keeping you safe the way you were," he admitted and he just seemed so ashamed of himself that Blaine had to believe him. James buried his face in his hands for a moment before looking back up, "I watched you get bullied every day for a year and a half and didn't do anything about it. I don't think I could ever forgive myself for that."
"Dad," Blaine said after a second, drawing his father's attention to him rather than his walls that he found so interesting all of a sudden.
"Before you say anything," he interrupted, "I just need you to know how truly sorry I am for all of this. And that I would completely understand if you couldn't forgive me now or even ever."
"I forgive you," Blaine spoke before his father could say more, "It means a lot that you came and told me all of this. I know that you're telling the truth and that you genuinely do feel bad, so I forgive you."
"Thank you," he said softly, his eyes brimming with tears that he was fighting from falling.
Blaine gave him a little half-smile with the corners of his lips, "You're welcome."
They were silent for a few seconds when James stated, "I'd like to start over, if that's okay with you."
If Blaine hadn't thought about crying before, he certainly was now, "I'd like that, too," he responded honestly.
"Great."
And then James smiled that smile Blaine hadn't seen since his childhood. The I love you smile, the You're my little boy smile, the I'm so proud of you smile. And that's when Blaine allowed some of his tears to fall. He had hoped for nothing more than that smile since he had come out and to finally see it again was overwhelming. His father noticed his emotional state and did something else that surprised his son. He wrapped his arms around Blaine's shoulders and pulled him into a tight hug. He rested his cheek on his son's head and just held him close like he used to. If Blaine hadn't been listening so closely, he would have missed his father whisper, "I missed you."
Blaine pulled out of the hug and whispered, "I missed you, too, dad." He wiped his tears on his hands, sniffled softly, and took a second to compose himself once again.
"Can I ask you something?" James said easily. The air between them was still a little tense, but more comfortable between the two of them than it had been in a long time.
"Of course," Blaine answered.
He took a deep breath, "What's he like? That boy you're dating, I mean," he asked.
Blaine's eyes widened almost comically, "Really?"
"Really," he chuckled at his son's expression, "I'm a bit curious."
"Um, I don't know where to start," he stated, "Kurt's...he's everything to me. He's my anchor, you know?" James noticed the light that danced in his son's eyes as he spoke, "He knows how to make me smile and how to make me laugh and how to make me happy. He's got beautiful eyes and the most infectious laugh I've ever heard in my entire life. He's funny and kind and caring and just the most compassionate person I know. I..." Blaine seemed at a loss for words, like he had so much to say but not enough time to ever be able to say it all.
"You really do love him, don't you?" James wondered. There was a smile playing on his lips.
"I do," Blaine said almost dreamily, "So much I have trouble breathing sometimes. There's just something about him, I can't even put it to words. I'm lost when he's not here."
"You've got it bad, my boy," James chuckled.
Blaine smiled, "I know I do."
"I'm glad you found someone like him, that you're happy with. You deserve it, Blaine," he said genuinely.
"Thank you," he responded. He felt like his face was going to explode from the smile that was threatening to take over his entire face.
"You're very welcome," he held eye contact for another second before looking down at the watch on his wrist, "Oh crap," he mumbled.
Blaine looked at the watch and then back up at him, "What's up? Everything okay?"
James sighed, "I'm late for a meeting with a business partner."
Blaine's eyes shot open. His father was never late for a business meeting, let alone late for a meeting because they had been bonding, "Dad! You can't be late for a meeting!" he exclaimed.
"I can and I will be," he smiled at his son's concern, "I'm more worried about my relationship with you than I am about a relationship I have with some grumpy old man."
Blaine paused, "That-that really means a lot to me," he felt like his eyes were filling again, "But it's really okay. Your business meetings are too important to miss."
James looked at him seriously, "Are you sure? I would reschedule if you wanted me to."
"It's fine," he said earnestly, "I completely understand. We have plenty of time to catch up."
"Okay," his father smiled at that. He got up and Blaine led them to the door, where they paused, "I'd really like to meet him, you know. Kurt. He sounds wonderful."
Blaine's smile grew, "I can arrange for that to happen," he said, "And he is wonderful. I can't wait for you to see that for yourself."
"Me either." James smiled and then brought Blaine into another tight hug; he hugged back after the initial second of shock that hit him. His father kissed the side of his head that he had been resting his cheek on before whispering, "I love you, Bainey."
Blaine squeezed his eyes shut as tight as he possibly could. It was the only thing he could to keep himself from breaking down. He hadn't heard those four words in four years. When he said, "I love you, too, dad," back to him, his throat was tight and his voice was thick and full of so many different emotions that it was impossible to decipher and name them all.
When they pulled back, Blaine could see his father's eyes were glossy and shining like he knew his own were, like they were a mirror reflection of each other, "I'll talk to you soon, okay?" James offered.
"Okay, I'll talk to you then."
And with that, his father was out the door with one parting glance and on his way to the meeting. Only then did Blaine allow his entire façade to crumble. He sat on the edge of his bed and completely broke down, sobbing harder than he ever had. But this time? They weren't tears of sadness or sorrow or regret or grief or loneliness or disappointment. No. They were tears of happiness and tears of forgiveness.
He cried because his father had apologized. He cried because his father still cared about him. He cried because his father missed him. He cried because his father loved him. He cried because his father wanted to mend and rebuild their relationship. He cried because he got his father's blessing on being with the man he was in love with.
When Blaine had awoken from insomnia at two in the morning, this was not how he had imagined his day going, but he wouldn't trade the things that had happened to him for anything in the world.
Blaine Anderson had never been happier than he had been in the moment, nor had he ever felt more loved.
The last person Kurt had been expecting to get a phone call from when he had gotten back late from shopping from shopping was his dad. Yet, here he was holding his ringing phone and staring at his dad's name. He picked it up after about three or four rings.
"Dad!" he exclaimed.
He could hear Burt chuckle into the receiver, "Hey, kiddo! How are you?"
"I'm great!" he said happily. They hadn't been able to talk since their last phone call, which was practically two weeks ago, "How are you? How are things at home?"
"Things are good. We're good," he replied, "Carole's about the same as last time, missing all of you like crazy."
Kurt smiled, "We miss you guys, too. I can't believe it's only three more weeks till we come home though," he realized sadly.
"I know, kid. Just think, by the time you get home, you'll be heading to New York for when school starts back up at the end of August," Burt said wisely.
"Yeah," he sighed, "I'm just gonna miss it here a lot. This has been the best trip ever, you know?"
"I know, Kurt. And you're gonna love New York, too," he reminded his son, "And, uh, speaking of ‘Best Trip Ever,' how's that boyfriend of yours?" he asked not so discreetly.
"Dad!" Kurt shrieked.
"What?" Burt questioned defensively, "Can't kill me for wonderin'."
"Yeah, yeah," Kurt rolled his eyes and used the right tone so that his father would know he was doing so, too.
"Seriously though. How are things with the two of you?"
"Things are amazing, dad," he said dreamily, "They couldn't be any better, actually. I'm in love with him and we're in Paris and soon we'll be in New York and it's just...perfect." He flopped down on his bed so that he could stare at the ceiling.
"Hold on a sec. What do you mean, ‘Soon we'll be in New York'?" Burt had his stern voice on and Kurt knew that there was no backing out now that he'd let that slip.
"Um, about that..." His voice trailed off at the end of the sentence.
"Kurt," his father scolded.
"Blaine's going to NYU for school in the fall," he said quietly.
"And?" he asked knowingly.
He pretended to play dumb at first, "And what, dad?"
"C'mon kid. I know there's more, so spill."
Kurt breathed in deeply and prepared himself for his reaction, "He, um, he asked me to live with him in his apartment in the city."
He heard Burt draw in a sharp breath on the other side of the line, "And you said?"
"And I said yes." He closed his eyes and waited for his dad to respond.
Burt sighed loudly, "You know that I trust you, Kurt, and I know that you have good judgment, but, are you really sure about this? I mean, are you ready for something like this? Is he?"
"Yes, yes, and yes," he said immediately, "I love Blaine and Blaine loves me. I've never felt this strongly about another person in my entire life. And you know I would never do something as huge as this without being completely sure of myself."
"Okay," was all Burt said after a few seconds.
"Okay?" Kurt repeated.
"You sound like you've got your mind set on this, so I wouldn't be able to talk you out of it even if I wanted to, but I don't want to do that. I trust you, kid, so if you're sure of this, then there's nothing else I can do."
"Thank you!" Kurt's entire face lit up, "You are literally the greatest dad ever!"
"Yeah, yeah, I know," Burt chuckled loudly, "I still want to meet him though, okay? When you all get back to Lima," he stated.
"Of course. Absolutely. No problem," Kurt listed excitedly.
His father laughed again, "Alright. So whatcha up to now?" he asked.
Kurt sat up in his bed, "Eh, nothing really. Just got back from shopping Rachel. I'm kinda tired so I'm probably just gonna go to b-" his eyes scanned the room looking for his pajamas, they were nowhere to be found and the last time he had them was at...Blaine's, "Shit."
"Um, excuse me?"
"I left my pajamas at Blaine's," he said more to himself than to his father.
"Why are they at Blaine's?" Burt asked, like he was daring Kurt to actually say the reason for them being there.
"Because I slept over Blaine's last night," Kurt said carefully.
"Alone?"
Kurt cringed internally for what the reaction was going to be to this, "Yes, we were alone," he spoke in as steady a voice as he could muster up.
"Kurt!" he shouted.
"What?!"
"At his place alone! I can't believe- he didn't try anything did he? He's not forcing you to-"
"No, dad! Oh my God!" He blushed furiously, his entire face was bright red, "He's not- he's not deflowering me, if that's what you think!"
"Okay! Okay! Just remember to be respectful and-"
"I know, I know, I know," Kurt repeated, "We already had this talk. So please, spare me and let me go to Blaine's to pick up my stuff," he pleaded.
"Okay," Burt laughed, "I'll let you go. Just call soon, kay? Love you, kiddo."
"Will do. Love you, too, dad."
They hung up the phone, Kurt put his shoes back on, and he was out the door and on his way to Blaine's.
"Blaine!" he said loudly as he knocked, "It's me!"
Before he knew it, the door opened and he was dragged into the room. Blaine shut the door behind them and wasted no time in practically tackling Kurt in a hug. Kurt was surprised, to say the least, but he quickly returned the hug and felt his heart start to pound uncontrollably when Blaine rested his head on his shoulder.
"Well hello to you, too," Kurt joked.
"He came over after you left," Blaine said without warning.
Kurt's eyebrows knitted close together, "Who did?"
"My dad," he whispered.
Kurt pulled away a little to look Blaine in the eyes, "And how did that go?" he wondered anxiously. He had all the answer he needed though when a huge smile took over his boyfriend's face.
"He apologized to me, Kurt," he smiled, "He apologized."
"Baby, that's amazing," he couldn't help but smile as how happy Blaine was, "What else did he say?" he asked as Blaine led him into his room. They sat cross-legged on the bed, facing each other, hands loosely intertwined between them.
"He, uh, he said that he felt really bad for the way he treated me," Blaine started, "He said that he wished he had been supporting me all along and that he'll never forgive himself for not doing anything about the bullying."
Kurt nodded once, taking it all in, "Did he-did he say why he did it?"
"He said it was because he was afraid of people making my life miserable for being gay. So trying to convince me to be straight was him trying to protect me from that, in a way," Blaine explained.
He thought to himself for a second, "I guess, in some twisted way, I can see why he did it," Kurt admitted, "I still don't agree with it, but I see his reasoning."
"I know you don't," Blaine acknowledged, "But he said he missed me. And he-he said he still loves me, Kurt. I don't think you understand how much that means to me. He hasn't said anything like that in four years and he comes over and it was just-" Kurt knew he was rambling. He pulled Blaine closer by the shoulders until he was tucked against Kurt's chest with Kurt's arms wrapped securely around him.
Kurt kissed his temple and rested his cheek on Blaine's hair, "I'm so, so happy for you, Blaine," he said softly.
He could feel Blaine smiling as he snuggled a little further into Kurt's chest, "I'm happy, too. I mean, and he even said that he wants to start over. He asked me for a second chance."
"And you said...?"
"Yes, of course," Blaine answered, "I have my dad back," he said mostly to himself, "I can't even believe it right now."
Kurt nuzzled his nose into Blaine's silky curls and breathed in his comforting scent, which made Blaine giggle, "You deserve this so much, your dad back in your life," he said, "I'm so glad he talked to you."
"So am I," Blaine kept on smiling, "This is one of the best days I've ever had. Being with you and seeing you this morning, then everything with my dad. It's all just so surreal to me."
"I know. Just think of how much easier everything is going to be now that things are good with you two," Kurt pointed out.
"So much easier," Blaine laughed, which made Kurt do the same.
They were silent for a few minutes, just relaxing against each other, when Kurt decided to think out loud, "I can't wait until New York," he whispered, lips brushing against Blaine's ear as he spoke.
"Neither can I," Blaine said and sat straight back up to face him. He reached out and brushed Kurt's cheek with the back of his knuckles, Kurt instantly leaned into the touch, "New York means starting a life together and doing that with you sounds absolutely-"
"Perfect," Kurt provided with a smile.
"Perfect," Blaine repeated through a dazzling laugh.
Kurt leaned forward to brush his lips over Blaine's before looking at him through his thick lashes, "You know, I only came here to get my stuff that I left," he teased.
Blaine frowned a little, "Oh, do you have to be back?"
Kurt shook his head back and forth, which brought the smile back to the other boy's lips, "Can I stay?"
"Of course you can," he said back, "Just let me go to the bathroom and then we can go to sleep, okay? You look exhausted."
"I am," Kurt unintentionally yawned, which just proved it, "And okay." Blaine kissed his forehead as he got up to go into the other room.
Kurt flicked off the lamp next to the bed and snuggled back into the pillows on his side of the bed as he got under the covers. Just him having a side of the bed made his stomach swoop. When Blaine crawled into his side a minute later, he reached an arm out and whispered, "Where are you?"
He giggled and moved close to him, saying, "I'm right here, silly," and kissing the tip of his nose.
Blaine let out an adorable laugh, before planting a sweet kiss to his lips and turning around. Kurt snuggled in behind him and his hand found Blaine's. Blaine lightly kissed each of Kurt's knuckles and held their hands close to his chest. Blaine's curls were tickling Kurt's nose in the best way, a way that made him smile brightly. He kissed the nape of Blaine's neck, whispering the words, "I love you," onto his soft skin.
"I love you, too," Blaine said back and Kurt could tell that he was smiling just like he knew he was.
Kurt kept planting light kisses to the back of Blaine's neck, no more than just the gentle brush of his lips on his skin, until he felt and heard Blaine's breathing even out and could tell that he was completely asleep.
Kurt followed him into sleep not long after. But first he took a second to marvel at the beautiful boy that he was holding in his arms. Sweet thoughts of Blaine turned into sweet dreams of Blaine, guiding him into a peaceful, easy sleep.
Comments
Im glad you liked it! Im almost positive i am gonna write that, i think its too important to leave out, yanno?
Very happy that Blaine has a good resolution with his dad. Will you be writing the meeting btwn him and Kurt? Can't wait til they get to NY!
Thanks! :)
This story is beautiful, and I can't wait to see how the rest unfolds! :)
great chapter!
Thanks so much!
This chapter was amazing. I am so happy that Blaine got his dad back and that they were able to make amends and realize that they still had love for each other. Burt and Kurt's conversation was so much fun and it was nice to see Burt choose not to argue with Kurt's decision to move in with Blaine. Blaine and Kurt at the end of the chapter was so sweet and perfect. I am off to read the next chapter.
I'm glad you liked it! :)