June 13, 2013, 3:47 p.m.
Lost With You: Chapter 14
T - Words: 3,065 - Last Updated: Jun 13, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 23/23 - Created: May 01, 2012 - Updated: Jun 13, 2013 1,975 0 6 0 0
Blaine woke the next morning with the feeling of a warm pair of lips being pressed into his dark curls. He smiled and his arms instantly tightened around Kurt's torso. He nuzzled his cheek to Kurt's chest and let out a content sigh. Being in love did that to you, really. The simplest of gestures had the ability to make your heart swell and the most peaceful of atmospheres, like waking up in someone's arms, could fill you with an overwhelming sense of satisfaction and bliss.
Kurt's voice came in the form of a whisper above him, "You awake?"
"Mhm," Blaine hummed.
"Morning, sleepyhead," Blaine could hear the smile in his voice when he spoke.
Blaine tilted his head up to look Kurt in the eyes, "Good morning."
"Sleep well?" Kurt inquired.
Blaine scooted his whole body up so that his head was on Kurt's shoulder now, "Very well. And yourself?"
Kurt kissed him on the forehead with smiling lips, "Me too," he murmured against smooth skin, "I feel like I always sleep better when I sleep here."
"So do I, when you sleep here, I mean," Blaine agreed, smiling. He kissed Kurt on the cheek, "Want to go make something for breakfast with me?"
"Sure," Kurt grinned and planted a fat kiss right to his lips before jumping off the bed and out of the room.
Blaine admired the sway of his boyfriend's hips as he walked out of the room and then he moved to join him in the kitchen, "What would you like to make this morning, my darling?" he asked effortlessly. He could now seriously see himself living with Kurt in the near future. The past two weeks and the whole time they had been together had just proved it to him. It was something he wanted for when they would be in New York and he would have to find out Kurt's opinion on the matter sometime soon, too. But he had a good feeling that Kurt was feeling the exact same way as him.
Kurt put his pointer finger to his lips and scrunched up his nose, "I was thinking pancakes. That sound alright?"
"That sounds fantastic," and his stomach grumbled loudly in agreement, making them both laugh, "My stomach seems to think so, too," he joked.
Kurt smirked, "I heard," he smacked him playfully on the stomach and then turned to go through Blaine's shelves. He had a good idea of where everything was by then having been over Blaine's as many times as he had in the past two weeks.
"Care for some assistance?"
"Always," and Kurt grabbed some things for the two of them to do.
Approximately three minutes later, Blaine almost shit himself. They had been getting things ready when Kurt asked him to do something.
"Hey, Blaine?"
"Yeah?"
"Can you hand me the milk?" he asked and nodded his head in its general direction.
"Sure thing, love," and as soon as the words left his lips, the panic set in. What if Kurt wasn't into pet names? What if he thought it was stupid? What if he thought Blaine was ridiculous for calling him that? But all of those thoughts floated away from his mind when Kurt broke out into one of the most stunning, radiant smiles Blaine had ever seen.
Kurt laughed, "Blaine, you can stop freaking out now, okay?" he said steadily.
He always read Blaine's mind and Blaine always wondered how, "I can?" he asked cautiously.
"You can," he repeated, "Truth be told? I liked it a lot, actually," a dark flush crawled up his neck, "So stop freaking out and pass me the milk."
Blaine let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding in and did as Kurt asked, "How do you do that?"
"Do what?" Kurt asked, still focused on cooking.
Blaine watched him as he moved around, "That thing where you know what I'm thinking as I think it?"
Kurt's first thought? Blaine's eyes. They flew open as soon as he used the nickname. His ohsoexpressive, golden eyes were a cross between scared and internally punching himself for letting the word slip as soon as he said it. He said, "I could tell right away from the look on your face. Believe it or not, you aren't very good at hiding your emotions."
"Oh," Blaine said with a thoughtful look on his features.
"It's not a bad thing though. It's one of the things I love most about you," Kurt reassured him.
"Really?"
"Uh huh. I love it that you always wear your heart on your sleeve," he admitted.
"Well I'm very glad you do," Blaine let out a crooked smile.
Kurt turned to him and kissed his lips softly before returning to what he had been doing before. He might not have said anything just then, but somehow, he had said enough.
They settled back into their playful banter and finished up making breakfast together. They ate and decided they wanted to go back into Blaine's bed to just lie down and talk for a while. But as they were walking back to the other room hand in hand, Blaine's brow furrowed to see that the light on his phone was blinking, indicating that he had gotten a text. He grabbed it and opened the message with his free hand. His entire body stiffened as he read it, Kurt noticed the change right away.
"Blaine?" When he didn't answer right away, Kurt got worried. Blaine's eyes were still glued to the screen of his phone, "Blaine? What's wrong?"
Blaine put the phone back down like it had burned him, "Can we just go back into my room, please? I'll tell you when we get there, I promise. I just- I need to- I can't-"
"Okay, no worries. Let's go inside, okay? C'mon," Kurt tugged his hand into his room. Kurt laid down on the bed and opened his arms for Blaine to fall into. Blaine practically jumped into his arms and buried his head in Kurt's neck, his arms would tightly around Kurt's body. Kurt could feel Blaine's heavy breaths on his neck and could only imagine what that text had said to get him so worked up. He kissed Blaine's curls and rubbed soothing circles into his back.
When Blaine finally lifted his head up, his eyes were all watery and Kurt felt like someone had punched him in the gut, "Are you okay?"
"It was from my dad," Blaine said in a small, defeated, dejected voice that made Kurt's heart hurt.
Kurt got nervous when Blaine didn't say he was okay, "What did it say?" he asked carefully. Honestly, he himself was scared to even ask what it had said because Blaine hadn't told him about his family yet and if one text from his father would make him like this, things couldn't be too good.
"I-it said that he needed to talk to me and that he would call soon," Blaine said, his voice still broken sounding.
Kurt wanted to try to be positive though, "Maybe it won't be that bad. You never know what he'll have to say."
Blaine forced a humorless laugh, "Kurt, I can't remember the last time my father called me just to talk to me."
"What do you mean?" Kurt asked gently.
And then Blaine let out the shakiest breath Kurt had ever heard in his entire life, "There's a reason I don't talk about my family."
"Blaine, you really don't-"
"No I want to. I want to tell you," he swallowed loudly before continuing, "When I was growing up, I spent a lot of time with my family. Whether it was throwing a football in the front yard with my dad, or reading with my mom, or hanging out with my brother, Cooper, I loved it. My parents treated the two of us like princes. Some of my best memories from my childhood are the ones where we were all just together playing random board games or whatever," Blaine's voice cracked and he took a breath to steady himself, "But once I got to high school, my freshman year, I realized that I was...different. I remember coming out to my brother and he couldn't have been more supportive of me. He still is actually," his lips twisted up into a ghost of a smile that disappeared all too quickly, "I told my mom and she wasn't too bad about it. I mean, she obviously treated me differently and that stung a bit, but she never shut me out completely. I was grateful for at least that. She's a lot better now than she used to be with it. How it went with my father is basically every teenager's worst nightmare when they come out," a sad tear made its way down his cheek and Kurt caught it on his fingertips, "He yelled at me, told me it was just a phase, that he c-couldn't have a son that was gay, that I wasn't normal, and I consider that day one of the worst days of my entire life. I tried to do my best to keep my head up high, and my brother certainly helped with that, but it was so hard to even try knowing that I wasn't going to be my parent's ‘Perfect Little Blaine' anymore.
"And then the news got around school that I was gay. That's when all the bullying started," Blaine gulped and Kurt felt like his heart was being torn in two, "I had it a bit more...physically than you did. I got dumpster tosses and the most God-awful locker checks in the hallways. If I ever got stuck in the locker room after gym or after school, they would always throw me around and into stuff because I was so small and skinny," he paused again for air, "I dealt with it all through my freshman year, but in the middle of my sophomore year I just...gave up. The bullying got worse and I couldn't do it anymore. I went to my parents and begged them to let me transfer to a different school. The only reason it worked was because my mom convinced my dad to let me. If it wasn't for her, I would have been stuck in that Hell Hole for all four years and I don't think I would have been able to handle it. And that's how I ended up at Dalton. Because I was too much of a coward to face up to the bullies myself."
"You're not a coward," Kurt said, his voice unwavering, "You had to get out of there before they severely injured you. That does not make you a coward." But in that moment, it clicked for him. The look Blaine had in his eyes when he told him about not running away from his own bullies was all because Blaine had run away from his own and because he thought it made him weaker than he actually was.
Blaine dropped eye contact, "I still feel like one, but thank you, that means a lot to me," he said and then continued from where he left off, regaining eye contact, "But what I'm getting at here, is that my father is possibly the least supportive person on the planet. If he was half as understanding as your dad is my life would have been so much better," Kurt felt a small twinge of guilt in his chest. It wasn't fair, Blaine deserved to have a father like Burt that loved him unconditionally, "So ever since I came out, the only time my dad ever wants to talk to me is to try and talk me out of it. Like a simple conversation is going to make me magically straight or something," he scoffed, "But I only ever come out of those conversations feeling like a walking pile of shit and a horrible person and I hate it. I like who I am and I like to think that I'm a good person, so the fact that he turned me away so quickly just because I like boys instead of girls is beyond me," the hurt in his eyes was almost tangible, "So I am so unbelievably scared for that phone call, Kurt. I'm s-so scared."
And that's when he broke. Every last one of his walls came down as he sobbed into Kurt's neck. He latched onto Kurt like he was his lifeline, and in a way he was. Kurt held onto him just as tightly, holding Blaine as close as humanly possible. Kurt could feel the tears soaking his shirt and that's when his heart shattered completely.
A few minutes later, when Blaine had calmed down and his breathing was mostly back to normal, Kurt kissed his temple with trembling lips, "Are you okay?" he asked for what seemed like the thousandth time.
Blaine nodded against his shoulder, "I am, thank you. I-I'm sorry I just lost it," he said in a tone that made it seem like he was guilty for crying, Kurt expected he would be because that's just how Blaine is.
"It's fine, I promise," he stroked Blaine's cheek for further reassurance.
"If you say so," Blaine said skeptically, "I am just so worried about when he's going to call," his voice got weak again.
"Hey, shhhh. It's okay. It's going to be okay, you know why?" Blaine shook his head no, "Because no matter what he says, you're the most amazing person I've ever met, Blaine. You are kind and courageous and sweet and thoughtful and strong and everything a person should be. I don't care what he thinks, I love you and will continue loving you even after he calls. You're going to get through this and I know it's hard, but I'm here for you. I want to help and make it so that you aren't hurting."
Blaine gave him a watery smile, different kinds of tears now filling his eyes, "I don't think you know how much that means to me," he said, "Thank you."
"Anything for you," Kurt said with a small smile, wiping away a tear that fell down Blaine's cheek, "All I want is for you to be okay."
"I am," Blaine said surely, "All thanks to you," he paused for a moment, "I-I've never told anybody any of that, you know. About my past."
"Really? Not even Wes and David?"
Blaine shook his head, "They know bits and pieces, not the whole thing."
Kurt's eyes softened impossibly, "Thank you for telling me. I know it wasn't easy."
"Thank you for listening," Blaine said earnestly, "It's not something I like talking about."
"I know," Kurt kissed his forehead, "I think it's good that you told me, though. I want to help you through this."
The sides of Blaine's lips twitched up, "You're amazing."
"So are you. Don't let anyone make you question that, okay?"
With a ghost of a nod, Blaine said, "Okay" he looked away, "And, just, thank you again," he said almost sheepishly.
"For what?"
"For being here for me," his voice muffled as he buried his face once more in Kurt's neck, his embrace warm and tight.
"I'll always be here for that, Blaine," he rested his chin atop Blaine's head and held onto him just as tightly, reassuring him that ‘I'm still here Blaine, I'm right here' without even saying anything at all.
Blaine planted a kiss on his cheek, "I love you, Kurt."
"I love you too, baby," Blaine smirked, "What?"
"You called me baby," his eyes now twinkling again with their usual, playful light; for this Kurt was grateful.
"Did you not like it?" Kurt would have frowned if Blaine's answer hadn't been so quick.
"No, yes, I loved it," he said in a hurry, "Kind of just took me by surprise."
"I'll have you know that I am perfectly capable of being just as cutesy as you are," he poked Blaine's chest easily for dramatic effect.
"Never doubted you for a second," Blaine laughed. That sinking feeling he had in his chest a few minutes ago was almost non-existent at this point. Kurt had the ability to do that for him. To make him forget all his pain and replace it with happiness and love.
Kurt eyed him after a second, "You sure you're okay?" he asked, still obviously worried about Blaine's well-being.
Blaine nodded, "Yeah, I'm good," he smile sure and confident.
Kurt smiled back to him, "Okay, I'm just making sure," Blaine looked at him with soft eyes, his cheeks a few different shades of pink. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but shut it just as quickly, "What, Blaine?" Kurt asked, noting his change in demeanor.
"I was uhm, I was going to ask if I could kiss you," he said and lost eye contact, his blush still present.
"Blaine," he recaptured his eyes, "You don't have to ask to kiss me."
"I just don't want you to be uncomfortable at all," he admitted.
"I am definitely not uncomfortable with you kissing me, okay?"
And instead of gracing him with an answer, Blaine just tilted his head forward and pressed his lips to Kurt's. Of course, Blaine knew that Kurt was there, but somehow this just served as confirmation to him. The simple act of kissing him washed away all of the remains of the pain he was feeling before. And yeah, Kurt telling him he would be there for him was amazing and wonderful and exactly what he needed to be told, but the physical closeness of kissing him and being in his arms just was the final push he needed to know that he was going to get through talking with his dad, all because of his Kurt.
This went on for a while, just slow, lazy kisses full of reassurance and unspoken words that didn't have to be said to be understood. When they pulled back after God know how long, their lips were swollen and their hair unbelievably messy, but their hearts were racing and their breathing ragged. Blaine's smile was much happier than Kurt expected it would be.
"And what are you so happy about?" he laughed, his voice a little gravelly.
"I just love you a lot is all," Blaine shrugged, his smile still there all the while.
"Love you too, Blaine," Kurt replied without hesitation.
"I don't think you understand what a wreck I would be if I didn't have you here with me right now," Blaine said truthfully.
Kurt nodded in acknowledgement, "I just want to help you."
"You do, Kurt. More than you even know," he whispered, "I'm just, I'm so glad you're here," Blaine said, "I'm not sure what I'd do without you," Kurt smiled to him.
"I wouldn't know what to do,
I'd be lost without you
Watching over me," Kurt sang lightly.
Truer words were never spoken.
Comments
I'm so glad you updated! I had missed this sweet fic. I'm happy that Blaine has Kurt to help him deal with his asshole father! Do you think you're gonna take this fic beyond Paris and back home or NY? Thanks for writing!
thank you so much! and i don't know yet what i'm going to do, i may take it NY or i may just leave it, i think i'm leaning towards taking it to NY though :)
THEY'RE SO PERFECT
i'm happy you think so!
Update soon!!
Ill defenitely try