June 19, 2012, 8:03 a.m.
Courage: Chapter 1
E - Words: 2,649 - Last Updated: Jun 19, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 1/? - Created: Jun 19, 2012 - Updated: Jun 19, 2012 344 0 0 0 0
Author's Note: You may recognize me from over at Fanfiction.net, and I just decided to post my stories here too :) This story was written before Season 3 so there was very little I knew about Blaine--just to explain any inconsistencies!
After that initial kiss, after that first rush, after Blaine expresses his feelings and admits that he wants to be with Kurt and onlyKurt, Kurt is happy. Yes, his life is far from perfect and he worries about going to school and facing ignorance and prejudice in the Neanderthal form of bullying, but Kurt has Blaine. Blaine is his,and Kurt is so happy, so proud.
The first person he tells, as can be expected, is Mercedes. Mercedes makes a big fuss after she receives Kurt's initial text. She replies with a text with many exclamation marks and capital letters, and as he's about to reply, she calls him and squeals in delight. When Mercedes sees Kurt at school, she throws up her hands in excitement and grabs onto him and hugs him.
Second, Kurt tells his family at dinner. The Hudson-Hummels are gathered around the dinner table, and conversation flows easily between them. Finn and Burt talk about sports, Kurt compliments Carole on her new blouse.
Kurt breathes to himself and debates whether or not he should even tell them—first because Burt didn't have a great first impression of Blaine with him sleeping over and what not, second because he's not as close to Carole as he would like to believe, and third because he's not quite sure how Finn will react in spite of his claims to be there for Kurt and to support him. But he wants to tell them so badly, he wants everybody to know about his gorgeous, talented, intelligent boyfriend Blaine, that he shudders in excitement and speaks up loudly. "Dad, Carole, Finn... I have some news."
His family looks up expectantly, and Kurt pauses (which he claims he does for dramatic effect). But he can't help it, the words bubble out of him and he bursts (like a, self-admittedly and very embarrassedly, teenage girl). "Blaine and I are going out! He asked me to be his boyfriend!"
As soon as the words escape, Kurt can feel his face flush. There's silence for several seconds, and then-
"Kurt, I'm so happy for you!" Carole exclaims, getting up from her chair to give her stepson a hug. She kisses the top of head. "Blaine seems like such a nice boy—you should have him come over for dinner so we can all get to know him better-"
"That boy better come by so I can set some ground rules," Burt says firmly, pointing his finger at his son, causing Kurt to turn even a deeper shade of pink. "He better come by so I can tell him how he's going to treat you—so I can talk to him: man-to-man. No funny business, no overnight stays-"
"Kurt, that's awesome," Finn grins, looking kind of like a big, dumb Golden Retriever. He looks hungrily at the display of mashed potatoes and steak on the table. "Can we eat though? And then ask questions?"
Finn is cut off by Carole smacking his arm, "Finn, let your brother tell us about his new boyfriend!" She goes back to ruffling Kurt's hair and reacting in a way similar to Mercedes.
Their voices overlap as they pepper him with questions, and Kurt smiles, basking in the attention. Blaine Anderson is his boyfriend, and Kurt Hummel couldn't be happier.
"Blaine, I've gone over every possible act of kindness I've committed in the past year and I still can't figure out what deed was so good that karma decided to bless me. How did I gt so lucky? Do you just want to tell me already?"
"What do you mean?"
"You know what I'm talking about—I'm an insecure, uncertain, though very fashionable, admittedly almost feminine resident gay, and you're confident, brave, undeniably handsome, and insanelytalented and almost masculine heartthrob, yet you chose me. Why?"
"..."
"Blaine?"
"Kurt, listen to me. I am absolutely crazy about you. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I appreciate you and respect you and am growing to love you so much. You don't give yourself enough confidence. You are courageous and artistic and accomplished, and if anybody is lucky, it is me."
Kurt Hummel is ridiculously proud of his new relationship. He wants anyone and everyone to know. He and Blaine hold hands on their way to classes at Dalton, and if students at McKinley hadn't gotten the message when Blaine serenaded him in the open lunch area, then they had to have heard about Kurt and Blaine at prom.
Kurt didn't care who knew about their relationship—rather, he wanted everybody to know, that he—Kurt Hummel, resident stereotypical, flamboyant gay student, had landed Blaine Anderson, a boy with the body and sculpted features of a Greek god, and with intelligence to match.
Kurt was so proud of his relationship with Blaine, maybe that was the reason he didn't notice until around two and a half months into their relationship that he hadn't met Blaine's family.
Blaine is always over at the Hudson-Hummels, and in spite of Burt's initial protests and very overprotective glares, Blaine is sometimes allowed to spend the night when it gets too late for him to drive home or back to Dalton—on the couch of course, but still.
Blaine makes space for himself in Carole's heart by offering to help her cook and by complimenting her on her outfits and by exclaiming, "Kurt never told me he had an older sister!" when he met her for the first time. Blaine wins over Finn by tutoring Finn in English and Math and... all of his classes. Blaine even gains Burt's blessing (which Burt gives very begrudgingly), by sitting and watching every football and basketball game Burt watches. Blaine helps Burt out in the auto shop and refrains completely from talking about what he and Kurt do together. Blaine comes to the McKinley football games and knows all of Kurt's friends in Glee Club.
But Kurt—with the exception of their mutual friends at Dalton—knows nothing about Blaine's life and friends and family.
When he brings this up for the first time, they're getting coffee at the Lima Bean and Blaine sprays a mouthful of coffee all over the table. The next five minutes are spent grabbing napkins to clean off Blaine's blazer and the table and to apologize profusely to the cleaning staff.
By the time they finish cleaning, their conversation has drifted onto something else, but as they are about to leave, Kurt brings it up again.
"Blaine—I mentioned it in there before, but why haven't I met your family or your friends?" he reaches for his jacket and takes Blaine's offered hand. They exit Lima Bean, Kurt's hands enveloped in Blaine's, an delight coloring every one of Kurt's features.
Blaine isn't answering, Kurt notes. Blaine looks down at the floor, fiddles with his scarf, anywhere but Kurt's eyes.
"Blaine?" Kurt presses gently, but Blaine remains silent until they get into his car. His boyfriend fiddles with his car keys and sets the radio on a rather mainstream channel—really, Kurt needs to make some mix tapes for his boyfriend at some point—and starts the car. It's only when they're out of the parking lot and on their way to the Hudson-Hummel residence that Blaine responds.
"You've met my friends." Blaine's voice is strained and guarded, but he tries to give the impression that everything is casual. "You know Wes and David and-"
Kurt looks at his boyfriend concernedly out of the corner of his eye. Blaine's forehead is furrowed and he bites his lip in a way that would be adorable except for the fact that he's not giving Kurt a straight answer.
"I mean the ones outside of Dalton," Kurt says. "I understand that you board at Dalton and Cincinnati's a bit far off, but I would love to meet your mom and dad. You've met everyone important to me and I think it's important and only right that I do the same for you."
Blaine looks straight ahead, his eyes focused on the road. His forehead is still wrinkled in what Kurt thinks may be anxiety, and the grip his hands have on the steering wheel are so tight that the tips of his fingers are white.
"Blaine, are you listening to me?" Kurt's voice is hurt now, and he's trying to prevent himself from becoming visibly upset. "We could make a weekend trip of it, if you wanted to. I'm sure my dad wouldn't mind."
There's a moment of silence, and Blaine's reply is terse. "Kurt, I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why not?" Kurt looks at him, wide-eyed. "I mean, aren't your parents interested in your new boyfriend? They're not curious in the least?"
Blaine makes a frustrated noise, and Kurt feels bad. Is he annoying his boyfriend? What has he done wrong? Shouldn't Blaine want to show off Kurt the way Kurt flaunts off Blaine?
Blaine pulls to a stop in front of the Hudson-Hummel house. He pauses for a second and wrings his hands, while Kurt looks on, concerned.
"Kurt," Blaine murmurs, placing a comforting hand on his boyfriend's shoulder. "Kurt," he brings his other hand to Kurt's face in a caring gesture and strokes his boyfriend's cheek. "I-I...," he breaks off and tries again.
"Blaine, what is it?" Kurt whispers, all of his darkest fears coming true. "Are you embarrassed? Are you ashamed of me?" his voice breaks in alarm and he tries to keep his anxiety from taking over. "I'm sorry Blaine, I-"
"Kurt, don't be silly," Blaine interjects. "I am crazy about you, I told you that. And I am so proud of you... I'm just not about my own actions and myself. Kurt... my family doesn't know about you," he pauses, his eyes softening. "I don't know how to tell them."
"What do you mean?" Kurt asks, shocked. "I thought you were so self-assured and so proud of the fact that you're gay and you've come to terms with who you are and-"
"I have!" Blaine puts his head in his hands. "I have, Kurt. I know who I am. I know I like boys, I know I like you! I am crazy about you, I am in love with you, I am-"
"Then why don't you have the guts to tell your family about me?" Kurt's voice is hurt and betrayed. "I told everyone I care about and even everybody I don't give the time of day about you. I am so proud of my relationship with you and I don't know why you don't feel the same way. Did I do something to embarrass you or damage your reputation? I deserve to know the truth—we're in this together."
"Kurt, it's not... like that for me," Blaine's voice shakes, and Kurt thinks, with horror, that Blaine's about to cry. "I mean, my family knows I'm gay, but with my parents it's like... a sin or something.
"They're embarrassed about the fact that I like boys. They call it my 'situation' and they don't want anybody to know about it, so we don't talk about it at all. My relationship with my parents is not like the one you have with Carole and your dad. I don't know how to explain it to you, but my sexuality is like an off-limits talk zone.
"I go home and my dad asks me if I've found any new girls that suits my fancy. And when I tell him, 'Dad, you know I'm gay,' he acts like he hasn't heard me, like I'm invisible or something. My dad had me work on fixing a car with him for a whole summer—not because it was father-son activity, but because it was a way to make me more masculine. And my mom is even worse because she claims she loves me and then she just stands there whenever anything about prospective love interests comes up and she just looks so... ashamed of me.
"They sent me to gay camp, Kurt! So that they could eradicate the gay from me like it was some contagious disease or something! And that time I got the living crap beaten out of me when I asked that guy to Sadie's, I came home a bloody mess and my dad asked me if I'd learned my lesson!"
"Blaine," Kurt starts, and before he knows it, Blaine is reaching over and hugging Kurt, and sobbing into his shoulder. Kurt freezes up, before he twists into the familiar motion of returning his boyfriend's embrace. "It's okay," he shushes, as he feels his clothing dampen with Blaine's tears. "It's okay."
"I'm so sorry," Blaine whimpers, his curls brushing Kurt's forehead as he breathes into Kurt's shoulder. "I'm such a coward; I just don't know how to tell them and I want to so badly," his voice arches onto a higher note. "I just don't want you—or me—to get hurt any more than necessary."
"Shhh," Kurt kisses Blaine's forehead. "It's okay."
He doesn't tell Blaine that he's not a coward and he doesn't tell Blaine he's not wrong, but he holds the shivering and shaking figure until Blaine's cries subside.
Blaine spends the night on the couch and Kurt spends the night wide-awake as he cries into his own pillow.
At breakfast the next morning, Kurt is thankful that his dad is still asleep, Carole has an early shift at work, and Finn is too busy stuffing his face with pancakes to comment on Kurt's puffy, red eyes and Blaine's downcast, miserable expression.
"I'm going to tell them."
"Blaine, you don't have to-"
"No, I do. I'm going home this weekend and I'm going to tell them tonight. I don't care anymore—I'm sick of being scared and I keep telling you that you need to stand up for yourself and fight back and not care what other people think, but I'm not taking my own advice. I'm being a hypocrite."
"Blaine-"
"No, Kurt. I love you, and I'm their son. They should be happy for me. I'm tired of this."
"Have I ever told you I love you?"
"Not for the last fifteen minutes, no."
"...I really do though, you know."
"I know. I love you too."
The weather's been behaving recently, so when Kurt wakes up to the sound of thunder, he nearly has a heart attack and falls out of bed. He glances at the clock—10:00—which is actually considerably late for when he usually wakes up, despite the fact that it's a Saturday. He enters the family room to wake up Blaine, but the blankets are folded and Blaine's gone.
Carole, who's bustling around making breakfast in the kitchen, informs Kurt that Blaine left two hours earlier and didn't have the heart to wake Kurt, but there's a note on the refrigerator from Blaine.
Good morning, Sunshine! See you soon. -Blaine
Kurt carefully folds the piece of lined paper and puts it into his pocket to add to his admittedly embarrassing Collection-of-Cute-Things-From-Blaine-Anderon and helps Carole with breakfast. He's a bit upset that Blaine didn't wake him up to say goodbye, but he knows Blaine's on his way to Cincinnati right now and that it's a two hour to a two and a half hour trip and that he'll see—as Blaine noted—his boyfriend soon.
After breakfast, Kurt mopes around the house. He looks frustratedly at the rain and decides to try to do some homework, but those efforts end up in him looking disinterestedly through some Vogue magazines instead. Finn is dead to the world, buried underneath his blankets and snoring like a bear when Kurt checks in to see if his stepbrother wants to do everything. Kurt tries calling Mercedes, but she doesn't answer, and Tina is with Mike so she can't come over, and when his desperate attempts to find some company lead him to even call Rachel, she's out of town with her dads.
The rain falls harder and louder on the windows and the roof, and Kurt is frustrated. He didn't realize how dependent he has grown on Blaine, and decides that—you know what? Kurt Hummel can find something perfectly productive to do without his boyfriend there, which leads him to experimenting with baking a batch of healthy carrot and zucchini muffins.
Kurt has just popped the batch of muffins into the oven and is cleaning off the flour on the counter when there's a knock at the door and Kurt opens it to see a drenched Blaine Anderson looking cold and lost and confused and defeated.