Kurt remembered he had some wild parties with his friends back in high school. Parties that involved alcohol, loud music and a certain amount of promiscuity. Not that he ever participated in that part… But he nevertheless remembered those occasions, fondly, and always thought that anybody could do what they wanted, unless they were about to do long-term damage. In relationships, or in furniture, or anything else.

But that was a long time ago. Since all of them left McKinley they never really had the chance to gather everyone and let their hair down together. But that was okay. They kind of remained in each other’s lives, they knew what the others were up to, mostly. And Kurt somehow had the feeling that even if they did get the chance to party together, it wouldn’t be the same high school shindig. He imagined all of them to have learnt how to enjoy themselves without losing control, and how to hold their liquor.

So as he and Kate were writing the grocery list for the next day on Friday afternoon, they deliberately left out shots, and concentrated more on ingredients that could be worked into cocktails. Kurt wasn’t planning on drinking at all, but didn’t want to seem stuck up either. He wasn’t, after all. Plus, he knew that when that group of people got together, anything planned could be screwed. They had their own rules to follow.

All Kurt could do was prepare for finding himself unprepared.

And that’s what they were doing with Kate (cleaning and planning and looking for cocktail recipes) when Kurt’s phone started buzzing on his bed. Kurt automatically reached for it, but froze mid-motion when he saw the caller ID.

Blaine

Kurt shot a silent, pleading look in Kate’s direction, and said the name out as if that would explain everything.

“It’s Blaine.”

“Aaaand? Oh, come on Kurt, answer it.” Kate urged the uncertain boy. “It’s probably about tomorrow anyway.”

Kurt pushed the answer button and raised the phone to his ear.

“Yep.” He said in a sure voice. He wanted to give Blaine the chance to make up for whatever was going on last night.

“Oh, hey Kurt, it’s Blaine. Is this a bad time?”

“No, no. What can I do for you?”

“Well, I was calling about tomorrow, actually. I was wondering if the offer still stands?”

“You mean you want to come?” for a moment Kurt couldn’t hide his surprise.

“Well yeah, if that’s okay. I asked David, but he’s out of town for the weekend. Is it okay if I come by myself.” Blaine’s voice didn’t really let on anything. But Kurt chose to trust the words, and those were definitely excited.

“Sure. Yeah, that’s great. The others arrive around 8, you can come by anytime. We’ll be in our room.”

“Do you need any help beforehand? I could come by before 8, or something.” Blaine offered.

“No, thanks, that’s sweet, but we’ll be okay. Kath will be here to help me.” Kurt explained. But when Blaine didn’t react instantly he added quickly. “But that doesn’t mean you’re not welcome anytime.”

“Okay then. I guess I’ll see you there, Kurt.” Blaine said, and for a second Kurt thought Blaine wanted to utter his name totally just for the sake of it. To hear what it’d sound like. But he got rid of that idea, and said good-bye.

“Great. See you soon.” And they hung up.

Kurt turned to Kate, who was there the whole time, and looked at the boy now with curious eyes. Yes, Kurt told her about the texts, but she was on the opinion that this call kind of overrides last night.

“What?” she honestly didn’t understand Kurt’s puzzled face.

“Okay, it’s official. This guy is absolutely unpredictable.

“Don’t you think you’re being overdramatic?”

“Uuuum, no?” Kurt hoped for some support, but Kath was usually ready for giving tough love, if needed.

“Well, I think you are. He’s been a sweetheart most of the time. The texts were the first things that were, yeah, kind of odd, but he’s usually his natural, charming self. He was totally sweet when we met at the Pride. Yeah, he said some things that were different from what you thought, but come on, that doesn’t make him a bad person. And then at the hike. He couldn’t have been more attentive. I don’t get it. What’s the big deal?”

“Well, you weren’t there when I first met him, were you. He was outright rude.”

“Okay, true. But that was one time.”

“Plus last night. If we think about the number of times we even talked, that’s kind of significant. Don’t you think?”

“No, actually, I don’t. He said it himself that this is kind of a chaotic time for him. I think you just caught him at the wrong time. Okay. Twice. But Kurt, he’s as adorable as one can get. Give him a break.”

“Well, as you could hear, that’s exactly what I did…” Kurt said. All he would’ve wanted was an explanation. Or at least reassurance that he didn’t imagine the changes of attitude. Blaine being attentive and friendly towards him was nice. Blaine being unpredictable and harshly indifferent… well, not so much. Kurt needed to busy himself with something, so he didn’t concentrate on the whole thing.

So, instead, he engaged Kate in a conversation about the McKinley guys, giving her the heads up, before the bunch arrived. He couldn’t give every little detail, of course, after all, he hadn’t seen them since he was home for the holidays.

But Kate was the easy part. She’d met them before. Now Blaine, on the other hand. Well, there all Kurt could wish for was the boy’s incredible skills to cope with such challenges.

The rest of the day and the better half of Saturday went by rather uneventful. The buzzing excitement in Kurt increased by the hour, but he had stuff to do, so he could channel it to something productive. At 6 pm he told Kate he’d get ready, and spent the next hour taking a shower, picking up his clothes for the evening and doing his hair.

He was pretty much ready by 7:30, so it didn’t cause a panic attack when there was a knock on the door at 7:38. Nope, no panic attack. Or just a mild one. But it was due to general excitement concerning the night. Kurt was pretty sure it had not much to do with the fact that the person at the door couldn’t be anyone else but Blaine.

Kurt felt a sudden rush of insecurity, and decided to revisit the mirror, so he called out to Kate.

“Kath, honey, would you answer the door? It must be Blaine, I’ll be there in a sec.”

“Sure, take your time.”

Kate, true to her words, went to the door and opened it for the first guest.

“Hi. Kate, good to see you again.” Blaine had the biggest, most genuine smile on his face.

“Hey, come on in. Kurt’ll be here in a minute.”

“Yep, right here.” Kurt was already back. He decided to take less time being anxious about things and more attending to his guest. And guests, later. “Blaine, hey. Glad you could make it.”

“Of course. Wouldn’t miss it.”

“Do you guys want anything to drink?” Kate asked, already moving towards the beverage section in the other half of the room.

“Nope, thanks.” Kurt didn’t want to start too early. But he moved to follow the girl, when he felt a hand grabbing his upper arm gently.

“Actually, Kurt, can I talk to you for a sec?” Blaine said, low enough for him to hope Kate wouldn’t hear it, but the room wasn’t all that big. So she did hear, and reacted quite quickly.

“You know what? You guys should pour yourselves something, I’ll be back in a little, I need to make a quick phone call. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, sure.” Blaine said, and when Kate went passed him, he mouthed a thank you to the girl, who smiled understandingly.

“So. What’s up?” Kurt was intrigued. He knew what he wanted to hear, but didn’t want to think about that, because it’d be even more frustrating and confusing not to hear it in the end.

“Kurt. I’m sorry about the texts. I mean the last two. And the non-reply.” Blaine started. His face showed honesty, and was almost pleading.

“What?” Kurt wasn’t sure if he heard it right.

“I’m sorry I was so rude. I was ecstatic that you invited me, I just had a terrible terrible night, and it happens every time, I get my frustration out on people who want to be there the most, or who are there to show support. And I’m really, terribly sorry.”

“It’s okay, Blaine, I understand.”

“No, it’s not, don’t even say that. I feel terrible about it. Especially ‘cause you’re the person to show even more tenderness when you see me miserable, and I just… you didn’t deserve it.”

“Blaine, I’m telling you, it’s okay.” Now it is. Kurt thought. He could hardly believe Blaine made those extra steps. Admitted the thing and apologized. Gosh, it felt good to be reinforced in his positive Blaine-image. “So what happened?” Kurt wanted to divert Blaine’s intense, searching gaze and attention.

“See, you’re doing it again.” Blaine said, avoiding the answer. When Kurt just looked at him with a shy smile, Blaine got into it. “Actually, nothing grand. Just school stuff and family stuff and friends stuff hit together, and I couldn’t handle it. And I got frustrated and mean.”

“You weren’t mean, per se…” Kurt said, trying to ease Blaine’s mind.

“Yes I was. When you get a positively sweet and genuine text message and you don’t answer, well, that’s rude.”

“So why didn’t you answer?” Kurt was curious now.

“I don’t think you ever resort to this, but do you know that feeling, when things, even the tiniest little nothings go wrong, and you feel like you don’t have control over anything, and the only thing you can control is how you treat the people around you…” Blaine seemed pensive for a moment. “Well, now that I think of it, I think you know the feeling, it’s just that you and I have the opposite reaction to this. I become rude and shut people out, and you become even more attentive and caring.”

“Well, yeah, ‘cause it takes nothing. You just take a deep breath and try to convey the positive in you.”

“Gosh, Kurt, I wish it was that easy. And it’s amazing that you can do that, and I promise I’m working on it…”

“I think it’s already half-success that you want to change it.” Kurt said, trying to point out the positive to the regretful boy.

“I’m far from it, if during this little time we knew each other you met that part of me more than once… I’m sorry. I already have a plan.”

“You do?” Kurt asked, now smiling. He found it endearing how much Blaine was worked up over the whole thing.

“Yeah. I think you’ll be my mental mentor. How would you like that? Any time I get super frustrated, instead of hurting the first person who’s near me, I’ll think of that little smile you drew me, and tell myself that what I have problems with is not the person in front of me, or next to me, or whatever.” He paused for a little bit. “I don’t think I’ll be able to alter how I feel, but I’ll definitely work on how I deal with it. I guess being honest with the other is the first step, like telling ‘hey, it’s nothing to do with you, but I’ll leave you alone now for a few, ‘cause I’m about to explode’… what do you think?”

“I think it sounds like a plan.” Kurt said to Blaine’s rant. There was a certain (meaning huge) amount of relief in him. And pride, too. He was the one inspiring Blaine to want to change this. That felt awesome.

“Kurt, you believe me when I say that I’m terribly sorry, right? ‘Cause I am. Hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do.”

“I know now. Thanks for saying that.” Kurt felt like floating from the weight that’s been lifted from his shoulders. Now he felt like he could conquer the night.

Which came in handy, when a few minutes later his high school friends burst through the door pushing a slightly overwhelmed Kate in front of them.

“I couldn’t stall any longer.” Kate said to Kurt, almost apologetically. To which Kurt smiled widely, trying to reassure Kate that everything was perfect.

“And why would you need more time, Hummel?” came Santana’s loud interrogating voice. “Oh.” That was all she said once she realized Kurt wasn’t alone. “Hi.”

“Hey. I’m Blaine, a friend of Kurt’s.” and with that, Blaine stepped forward, and held out his hand to the Latina.

“Santana. Nice to meet you.”

“And you. I hope it’s okay that I crashed your party.” Blaine really hoped Kurt’s friends would be okay with him being here.

“Nonsense. Any friend of Kurt’s has a place in our party. Or whatever this is.” Rachel stepped forward. “I’m Rachel Berry, by the way. Sister-in-law.”

“Not yet.” came Kurt’s sarcastic response, but he shot a loving glance towards Rachel to make sure she knew he couldn’t wait for it either.

“Plus, this is Kurt’s room, so he’s in charge. Right?” with that Finn stepped to Kurt, and patted his back. Then turned to Blaine. “Finn, I’m the link between the two.” he said, gesturing between Rachel and Kurt.

“He’s my step-brother.” Kurt explained, seeing Blaine’s somewhat puzzled face.

“Oh, okay. That makes sense. Blaine. Nice to meet you.”

“And this is Sam and Mercedes.”

“Hi.” they both said to Blaine, shaking his hand, one after the other.

“Okay, so now that we’ve got that out of our systems, what can we drink?” Santana quickly turned to party-mode, and zoned in on the alcohol section of the room.

“Well, I’ll probably regret this, but make yourselves at home, I don’t wanna play host all night, so go ahead. Whatever you’d like.

When everybody followed Santana, to grab a glass and start working on some cocktails, Blaine leaned to Kurt, and asked, in a whisper.

“Sam and Mercedes? Are they together?”

“On again off again. I actually don’t know. But if you want my opinion, I think they‘re off right now. Better not ask, though… just roll with it.” Kurt instructed the “newby’.

“Okay. Whatever you say.”

“You’ll bitterly regret saying that.” Kurt said with a mischievous grin, but was somewhat surprised when Blaine only wriggled his eyebrows as a reaction.

“Okay, we’re going to play a few rounds of truth or dare, combined with drinking.” Santana suggested. “What do ya’ll say? Just to get in the mood.”

“Um, Santana, I don’t think that’s the best idea.” was Finn’s response, gesturing with his head towards Blaine. Kurt actually felt really grateful that Finn protested. He wasn’t against the game in principle, but with a practically stranger Blaine, and without more alcohol…

“Okay, okay. Then what?” Santana was the inpatient one in the group. “We’ll watch movies all night?”

“Although I don’t dispute that, I think I have a solution.” Rachel offered. “We could play Never have I ever… That way we get to know Blaine, and we can control the drinking, let’s say, one sip per round. What do you think?”

“I’m in.” Blaine was the first to agree. The others, mildly shocked, but very glad, joined them. They all sat in a circle on the floor, and everybody took a cocktail in front of them, so they’d have their proper “punishment” each round.

“Okay, but let’s make things clear.” Kate was relatively new to the game. Not so surprisingly, she only ever played this game with these guys, a couple of times before. “Somebody makes a statement, like never have I ever been to Paris, and everybody who’s been to Paris, needs to take a sip of their cocktail. Is that right?”

“Correct.” Sam nodded. “Plus, you might be asked to elaborate.”

“Okay. Simple enough. Who wants to start?”

“I’ll go first.” Mercedes ritually raised her glass, to start the game. “Never have I ever got so drunk that I threw up.” Finishing the sentence Mercedes shot a glance to Santana. As if saying you wanted the game, then let’s start it off in style…

And true enough, Santana reached for her cocktail, and took a sip. But so did Sam, and so did Blaine.

“That’s right, I remember that.” Mercedes said in a empathic voice, looking at Sam. “You and tequila. Not besties. Blaine. Elaborate. Please.”

“Um, I’m not sure this is the best way to introduce myself, but hey… So there wasn’t any spectacular story. Actually, I threw up after drinking, but not because of it. Had a bad stomach that day. See, nothing fancy.” Blaine confessed. Calm, secure.

“Booooring.” Santana cried. At this point Kurt shot a concerned look in Blaine’s direction, to see whether he’s okay with the girl’s crude tone. But was relieved to see Blaine laughing heartily at Santana’s comment. “My turn! I wanna see Hummel get drunk this time.”

“Good luck with that…” Kate interjected. They all knew Kurt wasn’t really the best target at this game. He didn’t have too many dirty details to share. The ones that were nasty were connected to him being bullied, and that wasn’t really subject to ridicule.

“Challenge accepted!” Santana didn’t even think before saying. “Never have I ever cried for a piece of clothing.”

“Now that’s just unfair.” Kurt shot back.

“I don’t think so.” Finn said, gesturing towards Rachel. Everybody turned to the girl, who reached for her glass, and took a sip. Most of them chuckled.

“I don’t even wanna know.” Kurt said, and quickly drank. He was proud to be a fashionista, but wasn’t sure if he was ready for Blaine to judge him onthe basis of that. But when he shyly peeked at the boy, Blaine smiled, without judgment in his eyes, and nodded barely visibly, as if saying yeah, I can imagine that. but, hey, what’s wrong with that?

“Okay, my turn. Never have I ever cheated on anyone.” Kurt said, looking around, to see the results of this round. He didn’t even think it through, because then he would’ve expected to see everyone reach for their drinks. He wasn’t trying to be hurtful, this was just something that popped into his mind suddenly. Blaine was the only one even hesitating a little.

“Define cheating…” He said, revealing his reason of confusion.

“Um, we’ll definitely get back to that later, now you just have to decide for yourself.” Kurt said deciding the issue. For the quickest second he felt a pang of disappointment when Blaine finally settled on drinking. But he didn’t want to ask. Later. Maybe.

This was a sensitive issue for all of them, so Finn rushed to continue.

“Never have I ever learnt how to tie a tie.”

“Clever, Frankenteen, clever…” Santana retorted. “As you can see, all of us here are functioning adults. Okay, drink up, people.” Everyone took a sip.

“My turn.” Kate said. “Never have I ever wore a thong in my life.”

“Now we’re talkin’.” Santana said, drinking a little, and looking around expectantly. The girls drank. Then Sam drank. Then Kurt drank. Then Finn drank.

“Oh my God! The mental images.” Kurt covered his eyes in disbelief.

“Aaand we have a thong-virgin here.” Santana said nonchalantly, pointing at Blaine. He was blushing a little, so Santana added. “Just for later reference.”

The rounds continued in similar fashion, most of them getting lighter and giddier due to the “punishments”. But it was all in good taste. Or, you know. Relatively.

Kurt was kind of hesitant when they started the game. He wasn’t sure if this was the best way to get to know Blaine. He didn’t want to expose the boy to anything. But Blaine seemed so willing, and hasn’t expressed his regrets yet, so Kurt relaxed, and concentrated on the pieces of information he gathered. He knew most stuff about the McKinley kids and Kath. Nothing new there. But everything Blaine confessed (either explicitly, or by drinking to it) was new, and Kurt’s image of the boy grew fuller by the minute.

Interestingly, Blaine on the other hand wasn’t interested in everything new. He didn’t really register all the tiny details about these guys, who seemed nice, yeah, but still somewhat irrelevant. Compared to Kurt…

Because that was all Blaine could focus on. The way Kurt drank, the way Kurt blushed, the way Kurt laughed. The way he was smart and funny and sarcastic, but gentle and understanding. And he couldn’t get enough. He needed to concentrate not to stare constantly at the angelic (yet very real) creature, but he was still caught gazing at him a few times. For the first couple of occasions he quickly mastered a smile towards Kurt, as if reacting to something funny the boy must’ve said. But after a while he didn’t even bother. When it wasn’t his turn to speak, or drink, his gaze rested on Kurt, and when the brown-haired boy turned his eyes towards him, he felt like he was drowning.

Kurt quickly diverted his gaze every time, and this was repeated four or five times during the game. Blaine felt his whole body buzzing. And he had a suspicion it had little to do with alcohol.

“Is it my turn?” Rachel asked an hour into the game.

“We can stop, if you guys want.” Kurt offered, but knew full well the others would protest.

“Shoot, hobbit.” Santana said to Rachel.

“Okay. Never have I ever dyed my hair blonde.”

“Aw, that’s a good one.” Mercedes approved, and leaned back a little, to see the results. Sam, Kate and Blaine reached for their drinks.

“Okay, Blaine, tell me it was for a bet.” Santana pleaded.

“Nope.” Blaine said simply, and firmly, though smiling. Showing that he wouldn’t elaborate.

“Jesus. Then it was either for Halloween or at a drunken state.” Santana tried again. Kurt felt like he needed to interject. He wanted to avoid anything potentially triggering.

“And with those we exhausted the situations in which Santana usually makes life-changing decisions…” Kurt’s remark made the group laugh, and they were ready to move on. Blaine shot a grateful look at Kurt. But it was fleeting, and Kurt wasn’t sure he wasn’t imagining it.

“Okay, my turn.” Blaine spoke up. “Never have I ever fallen in love at first sight.”

Only Kate reached for her glass. Kurt seemed puzzled.

“Define falling in love.” He said, looking at Blaine. The intensity of the gaze shook Blaine to his core, and suddenly he didn’t know how to speak, much less how to respond to the boy.

“Um, well. We’ll get back to that later, for now, you decide.” Blaine repeated Kurt’s previous words. Kurt smiled, a nodded. And did not drink.

“Okay. I have a good one.” It was Sam this time. “Never have I ever hit a girl.”

“And that’s a good one?” Finn asked.

“Well, yeah. Santana seemed thirsty.” Sam answered, tongue in cheek. And, true enough, only Santana drank. The others laughed, even Blaine, who had his first encounter, and only verbally, with this aggressive side of Santana.

“Well, I think it’s not only Santana who’s still thirsty. What happened to the plan of making Kurt drunk?” Mercedes took the next one. “I need to do this, baby, sorry.” She said, not even a little sorry, as her face showed. “Never have I ever come out to my dad.”

Well, that was harmless enough. For Kurt. Everyone knew he was gay. And these were his closest friends, he knew this wasn’t even an issue. But a flash of panic shot through him, not knowing whether he should even look at Blaine’s direction, or not.

With every power he could master, he smiled widely, and looked at Mercedes defiantly. He took his sip, while traveling his eyes from person to person, smiling smugly, to show the others, he had no problem drinking to that. They all smiled back, feeling satisfied that Kurt was drinking.

When his eyes reached Blaine, Kurt’s smile paled a little, fearing the reaction he might get. But only for the briefest second, because Blaine seemed to be more than okay with this form of coming out. To Kurt’s friends. The others quickly caught on with what was going on, and from Kurt diverted their gazes to Blaine, and their smiles faltered.

But Blaine raised his own glass, as if preparing to say a toast, but instead of uttering a word, he only locked eyes with Kurt, and nodded ceremoniously. Then he took the glass to his lips, and drank. Kurt understood the message.

Here’s to us.

The others were relieved that the game didn’t turn into something nasty, and Kate quickly took the opportunity, to have her turn.

“Soooo. Never have I ever been told embarrassing stories about dearest Kurty here…” She said, and accompanied by the laughter of the McKinley kids, who all drank from their cocktails at this, Kate looked at Kurt’s high school friends expectantly.

“Aaaaaalright. I think we’ve all had enough. Don’t even go there, Kath. It’s not fair.” Kurt said, hoping he could avoid the public humiliation. “I’m gonna go bring some water and some snacks from the kitchen, anyone wants anything?”

“I’ll come help.” Blaine said, quickly getting up from the floor. The circle was broken, the others also moved to get up, and Santana asked everyone about their next cocktail, so nobody paid attention in the noise to the two boys.

“No, it’s okay, I’ll manage.” Kurt answered to Blaine, but he had none of that.

“Kurt, you only have two hands.” Blaine sounded almost reprimanding.

“But magical ones.” Kurt said, smugly.

“Oh, I bet.” Blaine chuckled.

“No, I didn’t… that’s not…”

“Relax, I know. Let’s just get those snacks.” And with that he went to the door and opened it for Kurt to exit. He himself quickly followed.

After a few moments of pregnant silence Kurt spoke up.

“Blonde, huh?”

“I’m not proud…”

“Oh, don’t worry, I’m sure you pulled it off. You must have looked like a Baroque cherub.”

“Well, I’m definitely not the one with angelic features here.” Blaine said, and the way his face went serious with the statement made Kurt blush furiously. They reached the kitchen in no time, giving Kurt something to focus his attention on, and they turned to go back to the room with the packed goods.

“But thanks for saving me from Santana. I don’t think I was ready to share that story yet…” Blaine said. “I mean, with them.”

“Oh.” was all Kurt could say. He felt a rush of giddiness at what Blaine implied, but didn’t dare to ask explicitly.

“I did it for a boy.” Blaine said simply. “And it was a mistake. I thought it was a small sacrifice if he liked me better that way. But it’s never only about a color. You know?” He paused for a second. “And it wasn’t a small sacrifice. Because it was forced. I forced it on myself. I didn’t like it, and he knew it. And he still expected me to do it. I just don’t think there’s a point in staying with somebody, who doesn’t want to be with you, but with an artificial version of you. You know?”

“Yeah.” Kurt did know that. In fact, that’s what he was working hard on right now. With the whole putting aside men and concentrating on himself. He wanted to find the self that he himself would be comfortable with, and would accept, so nobody could force him into being something he’s not. He simply didn’t see the point in that. Not anymore.

They arrived at the door. And he had one more thing to say. So he stopped, and before reaching for the doorknob, he looked firmly into Blaine’s eyes, trying to find the right words to say this next thing to the boy in front of him.

“For whatever it’s worth… I like this color. I couldn’t imagine your face being so harmonious and majestic any other way.” Blaine smiled widely. And Kurt wanted to continue, but knew it’d be too much to say It makes you look like a perfect Greek god.

“Thank you, Kurt.”

And with that, they stepped inside the room, immersing themselves in the group of friends again.

It seemed everyone had their second rounds in their hands, and were waiting for the snacks and the boys to be back. Kurt felt his host responsibilities, and tried to come up, with an idea for the next game.

“Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do. We’ll sit back in a circle. We’ll go around, everyone says a word, or expression, or whatever, and the others will say the first thing that comes to their minds hearing that expression. Association game. Are you in?” He looked around, and everyone seemed game, so they settled comfortably. The order was Kurt, Kath, Mercedes, Blaine, Finn, Rachel, Sam, Santana. Kurt started them off.

“cocktail”

Kate: fruits

Mercedes: party

Blaine: straw

Finn: driving

Rachel: cup

Sam: bar

Santana: men

“My turn, right?” Kath asked. “couch”

Mercedes: tv

Blaine: pillow

Finn: football

Rachel: lazy

Sam: family

Santana: sex

Kurt: dad

“That sounded incredibly creepy this way, but I didn’t mean it like that.” Kurt tried to explain.

“Nobody thought about it before, dude.” Finn said, frowning, probably at the mental images. “Mercedes, your turn.”

“Um. respect”

Blaine: dignity

Finn: strength

Rachel: Tony

Sam: money

Santana: fight

Kurt: honesty

Kate: freedom

“Blaine, you’re up.” Mercedes turned to the boy.

“Okay. Love at first sight.” Blaine said with certainty. Kurt remembered that they did promise to come back to this topic. He looked at Blaine, who was openly staring at him now. They all knew it was abruptly left off during never have I ever. But they all struggled to give a short association to it.

“it wasn’t that easy” Finn said, looking lovingly at Rachel.

“this is deeper” Rachel added, looking back

“illusion” was Sam’s answer.

“physical attraction” Santana said nonchalantly.

“I dunno… I guess I agree with Santana. If you feel something at first sight, that’s largely physical.” Kurt didn’t know how to put it, so he left it at that.

“I think it can happen. Doesn’t mean it lasts long.” Kath said.

“open to it” Mercedes finished the circle.

The only problem was, Kurt wanted to hear Blaine’s definition. So he decided to go out on a limb, and said.

“Blaine. How do you define it?”

“I mean, I guess I agree with you and Santana. That at first sight it’s probably more physical than anything. But I also believe Kath. There is such a thing as an instant connection. Something that happens on the spot, and decides everything. Even if it only becomes what I would call love only later.” When he finished, he looked at Kurt, searching for something in his eyes. But all he got was an understanding nod.

Kurt couldn’t say much else. Probably, because the accuracy of what Blaine said took him off guard. Yes, that’s what he couldn’t articulate. That he still believed in miraculous connections. Even if falling in love in his vocabulary meant a deeper, more intimate relationship than what could be made between two people by only a glance.

“Okay. My turn.” Finn said, and they knew something less philosophical was about to come.

“coach”

Rachel: children

Sam: career

Santana: cheerleading

Kurt: dressing room

Kate: aggression

Mercedes: sports

Blaine: army

“wedding” Rachel said, blushing shyly.

Sam: parents

Santana: kitsch

Kurt: clich�

Kate: ceremony

Mercedes: romcom

Blaine: Prop 8

Finn: Rachel

When Finn said the name, Kurt needed to ask.

“Is there something we should know, guys?” Moving his gaze between Finn and Rachel.

“Well, it’s been heading in that direction for forever, hasn’t it?” Santana said and with that they moved on.

“children” Sam said, a sentimental smile on his face.

Santana: money

Kurt: sacred

Kate: openness

Mercedes: tots

Blaine: albums

Finn: vacation

Rachel: Jewish

Kurt looked at Blaine when the boy uttered his word. Again, it felt amazing to be the only one to get what Blaine meant. Kurt felt extremely grateful to be let inside that treasure chest that Blaine’s soul was, and the albums he mentioned, Kurt was strangely sure, meant all the memories, all the happy little nothings that can be captured, and should be captured. Suddenly Kurt felt an incredible desire to be able to look into Blaine’s mind’s eye, to see what he sees, to see how he sees.

He was shook out of this thought by Santana’s voice.

“Let’s get real. sex”

“Jesus, Santana, don’t you think that’s a little too much?”

“Nope? You’re a prude, Kurt. Just say the first thing that comes to your mind.”

“perfection” Kurt blurted. Then he looked down quickly, hoping Kath would not wait for long to go on.

Kate: connect

Mercedes: trust

Blaine: complete

Finn: right

Rachel: adult

Sam: body

Kurt was up next. He knew he owed Blaine a round. That was only fair.

“cheating” he said surely. He knew this was sensitive, but he felt a need to put it out in the open. What he thought. And he needed to hear what Blaine thought. He only hoped the others wouldn’t take offense in it.

“It’s only a label.” Kath said. Kurt knew what she meant. He didn’t necessarily agree.

“Sin against God.” Kurt knew for Mercedes this was the most important aspect of cheating. He didn’t necessarily agree.

“I think this is very idiosyncratic.” Blaine really wanted to explain this. To the others. And to Kurt, who asked him to elaborate earlier. “I’ve heard people say, it’s not cheating unless you sleep with someone who’s not your partner. I’ve heard others say, if you count a relationship from a kiss, than cheating is also from a kiss. I personally think it’s cheating, if you consciously do something, you know your partner would be hurt to witness. If that’s dancing with somebody, or flirting, I think that’s up to you.”

When he concluded, Kurt felt the earlier feeling of disappointment evaporate. He somehow knew Blaine had experience in this, but decided to be realistic about this. Everyone makes mistakes, if for Blaine this is an important question, he surely gave it a lot of thought, and came out a better man because of it. And for Kurt, that was enough.

“mistake” Finn said simply.

“revenge” Rachel added. Her face showed regret, and shame. Even if she was forgiven. A long time ago.

“third wheel” Sam said.

“complication” Santana seemed really pensive, the first time that evening.

“I do think every relationship is different, and who am I to judge people living their lives as they wish. As long as it doesn’t hurt others. You know? So if somebody is truly happy in an open relationship… But I think for me the most important aspect of cheating is dishonesty. And that’s hurtful. Every time. So, yeah. I’m pretty conservative. If you’re committed, work on your relationship. And end it, before you’d cheat. And if I had to say what counts as cheating… I guess I’d say a kiss.” Kurt stopped himself from rambling on. He figured he answered what was left open before.

He clearly couldn’t stop fast enough for Santana, because she, becoming more and more restless during Kurt’s thoughts, quickly got up, and announced.

“Okay, enough blabber for the night. Who wants another drink?”

The magic of the circle was broken, but they didn’t really mind. It did get a little heavier than intended. So they all got up, and most of them followed Santana for a refill.

Blaine, however, decided to call it a night.

“Kurt, it’s getting late, I think I’m gonna head home, is that okay?”

“Yes, of course. But everything’s fine, right?”

“Yeah, absolutely. I had a great time. I just think you guys would want some alone-time. You know? Or at least less strangers to deal with.” He said, smiling understandingly.

Kate was standing close to them, and when she heard Blaine was leaving, she stepped closer quickly.

“Blaine, I think we’re seeing a movie tomorrow night at the cinema with the bunch. Wanna join us?”

Kurt looked at her questioningly. What? Movie? When? What?

“I don’t know. I don’t want to be in the way.”

“Nonsense. I’d love to have you there. Tell me you’ll go!”

“Okay, sure. Text me later.”

“Yaaaay!” And with that Kate hugged Blaine and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Night, Blaine.” And she left the boys to say good bye properly.

“Kurt, thank you for inviting me. I really appreciate it.”

“I’m glad you had fun. And I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” Kurt said. He wasn’t sure how to act in that instant, but Blaine solved it for him. He pulled the other boy into a quick hug. And Kurt was somewhat surprised to realize he felt disappointed the hug ended so fast.

“Say hello to the others for me, please. I’ll see them tomorrow, I guess.” Blaine said, with one last smile. “Night, Kurt” He breathed, and one last time he was gazing into Kurt’s glasz eyes, drowning, drowning, drowning, before Kurt opened the door for him, and he rushed out, into the night.

Kurt closed the door, and leaned against it, closing his eyes for a moment. He missed the fleeting expression on Kate’s face. Full of concern and caring, but also… smug. She was pretty sure Blaine was gradually sweeping Kurt off his feet. And she was even surer Kurt was far far far from realizing it.