He was smiling.

Who was he kidding. It was now Friday morning, and he had been smiling since yesterday morning.

Ever since the moment Blaine had told him he loved him.

It was still hard to grasp though. Kurt had to wonder if Blaine was just plain crazy, or perhaps a hopeless romantic. Because, really, who would confess to loving someone without even having kissed that person.

This whole situation was so Jane Austen, really. But Kurt had to admit, Blaine would have made a fine Mr. Darcy, in a waistcoat and breeches. Hell yeah. He even had the trademark Colin Firth curly hair. And a way sunnier disposition too.

Kurt sighed. He did that a lot lately.

Blaine loved him. He LOVED him. He was the reason Kurt had been smiling and giggling like a maniac for the past 24 hours. He hadn't felt like this in years. Not since Sam had been diagnosed.

And Sam... he had been able to think about him without feeling hopeless for once. Hope had settled in his heart, and it was a wonderful feeling.

Kurt entered his old home, using the house keys he still owned. He knew his father and Carole didn't mind him entering the house on his own, but Kurt only did it when they knew he would be coming over. He really, really didn't want to walk into something... well... funny.

"Hi Carole, I'm here!" He called out.

"Oh hi! Over here in the kitchen, honey!" Carole answered.

He entered the kitchen, and frowned.

"Sooooooo... what happened in here?" he asked, surveying the big green mess on the kitchen counter and on the floor.

Carole's head surfaced from behind the counter.

"Oh, nothing sweetie! The blender exploded again. Your dad keeps telling me he's finally fixed the lid properly, and every time it all ends with my soup hitting the walls. I'm heading towards the store to buy a new one this afternoon. Your dad needs to realize that blenders are not cars!" she huffed, waggling her finger.

Kurt laughed and grabbed a cloth to help clean up the mess. As he passed Carole, he gave her a peck on the cheek. She ruffled his hair in return.

Kurt loved Carole. She had been so supportive and caring during Sam's illness and after his death, that he wondered if he would have ever pulled through without her. He had really needed a mother at the time, and she had been just that to him. If it wasn't for the fact that he respected the special bond between her and Finn so much, he would even call her 'mom'. But he didn't want to cross that line. Although... he may have slipped up a couple of times in the past, especially those times when he had been a sobbing mess in her arms.

"So, honey, you have a day off today?" Carole asked, as they were both mopping up the spilled soup.

"Yeah, I did a double shift, so I'm home today. It's an extended weekend for me!" he smiled.

"That's great! Oh, you know what? If you want to, you can come eat dinner here tonight. I'm preparing that chicken dish you like, with the peppers and the mushrooms."

They had finished cleaning up, and Carole poured a mug of coffee for Kurt, as they sat themselves down at the kitchen table.

"Oh thanks, but I can't... I actually came over to ask you for a recipe. I'm having someone over for dinner and I wanted to make that tasty lasagna dish. Can I have that recipe?" Kurt asked.

"Sure, I'll jot it down for you." Carole said, grabbing a notepad from the counter and taking a pen out of the top drawer.

"So, can I ask who's coming to dinner?" she said casually, looking at the sheet of paper she was currently scribbling on.

Kurt looked at his hands. "Um... well, it's a coworker from the hospital... a doctor actually."

Carole looked up at her stepson, sitting, with lowered eyes, slightly smiling and a faint little blush on his cheeks.

Ah.

"I see, and is it a work related dinner? Or just as friends?" she fished.

"No, none of that... It's a date." Kurt looked at her with a shy smile.

Carole broke out in a wide smile.

"Oh honey... that's just wonderful... I'm so happy you're doing this!" She placed one of her hands on top of Kurt's, and gave him a little squeeze. "So, who is this doctor? What's he like? Tell me all about him."

Kurt took a deep breath.

"Well, where do I begin... His name is Blaine Anderson, he's 31, he's a pediatrician and the head of our ward. He transferred to our hospital a couple of months ago... He's pretty much an amazing man, really... He's sweet, caring, intelligent, hard-working, he loves music... He's ridiculously handsome; he has these gorgeous eyes and the most radiant smile you've ever seen..."

Kurt hesitated... but he knew he could confide in Carole... "And, yesterday morning... he told me he loved me. Just like that. Crazy, huh?" He giggled nervously.

Carole looked delighted. "Wow, Kurt...," she laughed, "he sounds perfect!"

She studied her stepson's expression for a minute. "So, does this perfect man have any flaws too?"

Kurt bit his lip and looked at his hands again.

"Just one... He's not Sam." Kurt whispered. And then a totally unexpected sob wracked through his body. His hand flew to his mouth, trying with all his might to keep his tears at bay. He was barely managing.

"Oh honey..." Carole soothed him, reaching out and taking one of Kurt's hands back into hers. "Of course he's not Sam... He will never be Sam. But he doesn't have to be, to make you happy. It's okay to love somebody else, you know. This heart," she laid her hand on Kurt's chest, "is big enough to hold more than one person in it. It already does."

"I know," Kurt nodded, "I know that. I feel it. The hardest part about this isn't loving somebody else."

"I know, sweetie… it's forever saying goodbye to that dream, isn't it? The idea that you were going to grow old together, that if you would share the rest of your life with anyone, it would be with him. I know..." Carole said.

Kurt nodded again. "Yes, exactly. It's like the very last goodbye to him. If I go through with this, I'm letting go of him completely, and the thought of that, well... it hurts."

"But you're not letting go of him, Kurt. You're just letting go of the past. You'll never let go of him, he's a part of you. Your dad and I, we both went through the same thing. It wasn't easy, and... well, look at us... it took us many years to find each other, and be a family again..."

Carole continued, looking Kurt in the eyes, making sure he was absorbing the things she said.

"But it was different for us Kurt, because we both had a son to take care of, so we had to keep going on, regardless. You're so young, and you are alone. And I would give anything to see you happy again, like you were with Sam. I want you to be a family with someone. That's a dream you shouldn't ever give up on." Carole pleaded to him.

"So you take this recipe," she waved the slip of paper in front of his eyes, "you make a damn good lasagna tonight, and you go get this man!" she added playfully.

Kurt laughed and took the recipe from her. "Gods, Carole, how are you even real. Dad should hear you say that!"

"Um... no, don't tell him I said that. I'll already have to explain to him about buying that new blender tonight, and about my lack of trust in his repairing skills."

"Yeah, good luck with that." Kurt chuckled. "You might not want to tell him about Blaine either then!" he shouted on his way out.

Kurt was in his bedroom, looking in the mirror. His eyes were still a bit blotchy and red from crying. Stupid onions. It was his own fault though, wanting to impress Blaine by making the sauce for the lasagna from scratch.

But the dish was ready and just needed a good 45 minutes in the oven. He would pop it in just before Blaine arrived.

Turning around, he inspected his carefully chosen outfit. A pair of tight, black Armani dress pants, a silvery gray, slim fitted shirt, and a black leather belt with a silver belt buckle.

He'd decided to pull his fringe back into a small quiff. It looked okay.

Entering the living room, he threw one last glance around.

Everything was set then. He was dressed. The food was ready. The apartment was clean and tidy; well pretty much anyway.

Hmmmm... something was still missing. He walked over to his iPod docking station and turned the music on, just loud enough to create a soft background.

Okay. Perfect. Kurt sat down on the couch. He felt jittery. Damn those butterflies in his stomach. He hated bugs.

The doorbell rang just as he put the lasagna in the oven. Impeccable timing, as always. Quickly removing his apron, he sped towards the door, throwing a passing look into the hallway mirror.

He opened the door and smiled at Blaine.

"Hi Blaine! Are you always this punctual?"

Great. Best opening line ever. Way to go, Hummel.

Blaine laughed as he came in. "Well, I'm a doctor, it's bad enough that I'm always running late at work, don't want to be late for my personal appointments too, do I?" He casually kissed Kurt on the cheek in greeting.

"Here, I brought a little something." Blaine offered a bottle of red wine and a small gift bag to Kurt.

"You really shouldn't have, Blaine..." Kurt said, as he took the items and led the way to the living room. He gestured for the other man to sit on the couch, and took the spot next to him, putting the bottle of wine on the coffee table.

Blaine was wearing black jeans and a black shirt. He looked... hot.

"Sooo... what's this?" Kurt wondered, turning the gift bag in his hands. He heard something rattle inside.

"It's nothing big, I just saw these and they seemed perfect for you, so I got them. Open up!" Blaine grinned enthusiastically.

Kurt ripped open the bag and looked inside. He gasped. "Pins?"

"Yeah! Look-" Blaine took a pin out of the package and showed him a little blue guy, "They're Smurfs! All of them! I got the whole set for you. They're awesome, huh?"

"That they are..." Kurt chuckled. This man... he was... yeah, unbelievable. The pins were simply beautiful. Cloisonn� and really refined. These things weren't cheap.

"They're vintage actually, I found them on Etsy." Blaine continued.

"Oh, I love Etsy!" Kurt exclaimed. "I used to sell my finished creations for the academy on that site, to earn some extra cash. Did you know they're at least two people in Japan who own an exclusive "Hummel Original" outfit?" Kurt laughed.

Blaine smiled. "Well, they have impeccable taste, those Japanese..."

Kurt blushed.

"So, dinner will be ready in about 40 minutes. Would you like something to drink? A glass of wine?" Kurt gestured towards the bottle Blaine had brought with him.

"I'd love to!" Blaine said.

Kurt left to get two glasses and a corkscrew.

Blaine took in his surroundings. Kurt's apartment was small but cozy. His eyes fell onto a picture of Kurt and Sam. Such a lovely couple. The picture was clearly taken during some kind of festive occasion, because both Kurt and Sam were dressed in suits and looked like runway models. Shit. How could he ever compete with that?

Kurt came back, opened up the bottle of wine, and poured two glasses. He gave one to Blaine, and they toasted silently before taking a sip.

"Sam was a beautiful man." Blaine remarked in a wistful tone, his gaze pointed at the picture on the wall.

"Yeah... he was." Kurt answered, following Blaine's gaze.

If anyone would have asked afterwards; Kurt would have said that was the moment. The moment something clicked in his head. Such an insignificant point in time, yet so life changing. He heard the longing in Blaine's voice, and suddenly he knew. He knew he wanted this man. He wanted to love him. He wanted to show him he would never be second best, even if he wasn't his first love. Even if he wasn't the man he was supposed to end up with.

"Thanks for the pins..." Kurt said, "The children will like them." He smiled at Blaine.

"Do you like them?" Blaine asked, looking back at Kurt.

"Yes, I love them." Kurt assured.

Blaine grinned. They fell silent for a moment, both seemingly lost in thought.

Kurt was the first to break the silence.

"Blaine... I want to apologize again for last Saturday. I said some stupid things. It was uncalled for and I didn't mean them-"

"Kurt, no, stop apologizing, okay? I just threw that information in your face without warning. I could have handled that better. I understand that you were shocked and confused. And I know that this... well, complicates things."

Kurt shrugged.

"Yeah. That was my first reaction last Saturday, when you told me. I assumed this would just be too much to deal with... But I've had a lot of time to think about it, I mean, you should've seen me on Sunday..." Kurt grimaced. "I realize everybody comes with a past, that's what life's about right? I mean, I have Sam, you have your ex-wife and your daughter, they're always going to be part of our lives. Oh Gods... I'm sounding really cheesy and clich� right now, huh?"

Blaine just shook his head. "No. You don't."

"And about the bisexuality... yeah... I'm sorry about that too. It doesn't matter to me. You're amazing just the way you are, and I'm sorry if I made you feel any less."

Blaine stared at Kurt, eyes tearing up a bit. He shook his head.

"Kurt... thank you," he said in a hushed voice.

Kurt just smiled gently. "I'm going to check on the food now. I don't want to feed you the charred remains of something I shed so many tears over!"

Blaine raised his eyebrows.

"Onions." Kurt said.

"Gods, Kurt, that lasagna was delicious. I can't believe you're such a good cook!" Blaine was polishing of the remnants of the sauce on his plate with a piece of bread.

"It's my stepmom's recipe actually... but yeah, I try my best. Can't live on take out all the time, can you?" Kurt laughed.

Blaine had a sheepish look on his face. "Um... yeah... I can't cook to save my life. It's been take out or eat out pretty much since my wife left me. I hadn't any other option if I didn't want to starve or get poisoned-"

"Oh! I'm sorry!" Kurt exclaimed, clapping his hand over his mouth.

They stared at each other for about five seconds, and then... burst out in laughter.

After dinner, both men were sitting down on the couch, enjoying another glass of wine.

"Your apartment is really nice," Blaine said, looking around again, "did you do the decorating yourself?"

"Yes, I did. I know my color schemes. Designing was my life at the time; clothes, interiors... hell, I would've even pimped your car if you would've asked me!" Kurt giggled.

"I bet you would've made a great designer." Blaine replied.

"Yeah..." Kurt sighed. "I stopped designing the minute I found out Sam was ill. And I mean, literally THAT minute- Here… I can even show you."

Kurt left the couch and walked over to a wall cabinet, pulling something that looked like a portfolio from behind it. Blaine thought it was an odd place to store such an item.

Sitting down next to Blaine again, he opened the portfolio. There was only one sheet of paper in it.

"This is the only design I've kept. Strangely enough, it's the only one I couldn't throw away. It's stupid, really, considering there are only bad memories attached to it." He sighed and pointed at a blotch of purple. "Look, I even remember making that blotch; it was the moment my dad called to say Sam had been taken away to the hospital."

Blaine nodded silently and studied the drawing.

It was some kind of evening gown. The design was clearly unfinished, but even with his mediocre fashion sense Blaine could see the dress would have been stunning. Kurt had a lot of potential. It was really sad his budding fashion career had been thwarted by… well… life.

"I don't know what to say, Kurt. It's really, really beautiful. I actually would have liked to see your other designs."

"Yeah, well, they're gone. That whole dream is gone. I was going to ask Sam to move to New York with me, and try to make a career there. Both of us. But we never made it…. I guess New York is something that will never happen. Never made it there with the New Directions, never made it there with Sam…" Kurt bit his lip and nursed his glass. He then looked at Blaine, who seemed a bit lost in thought.

"Oh... Blaine, I'm going on and on about a city I don't even know... I guess you don't have too many happy memories about New York, huh? I mean, you left and came back here."

Blaine frowned. "No, I do actually. I loved New York. But in the end, it just wasn't a home anymore. All I did was work and come back to an empty apartment. But it wasn't always like that. My wife and I, we both got admitted to NYMC, that's why we moved there."

"New York Med? Both of you? Oh wow!" Kurt was surprised. They both had to be pretty damn good to get into that school.

"Yeah. I wanted to specialize as a pediatrician, and Liz as a cardiologist. We both stayed to work at the University Hospital after our studies."

Kurt was doing some math in his head. "But... wait, so you were already married when you moved to New York?"

Blaine nodded.

"But you were, what, 21 years old?" Kurt looked shocked.

"Yes... I think I'd better tell you the whole story, Kurt." Blaine leaned back on the couch, Kurt following his example.

"When I graduated high school, I had a boyfriend, Steven. We were together for almost a year and a half. Didn't last though, Steven got a scholarship for a university in California. So we broke up. It was a mutual decision, but it still hurt like hell though..."

Kurt grimaced.

"But well, I started Med School here in Ohio, where I met Liz. Long story short, we started dating during the second semester of our freshman year. It got serious pretty quickly. She was my soul mate, my love, my best friend... From what you told me, I think our relationship pretty much compared to what you and Sam had together... But anyway... During our first summer as a couple; we made a stupid mistake. We both got drunk at this party, and... we had sex without protection. And of course, Liz got pregnant-"

"Oh damn." Kurt breathed.

"Damn indeed." Blaine nodded. "And you have to know, Kurt, we both come from very wealthy and upper-class families, so there wasn't really another option. We got married. Not that we didn't want to, because we really loved each other, don't get me wrong. But we were so very young... Anyway, four months after our wedding, Liz gave birth to a beautiful baby girl..."

Blaine choked. A tear rolled over his cheek.

That tattoo. Two flowers.

It clicked.

"Daisy". Kurt whispered. "Your tattoo."

Blaine nodded, slightly surprised that Kurt knew.

"Daisy... she died. She lived for two days, and then she died. Her heart, Kurt, she didn't stand a chance. We knew it from before she was born. But still, we never gave up hope during the pregnancy. We knew, though..." He sighed.

"So I guess now you understand why I became a pediatrician, and Liz chose to specialize as a cardiologist. We moved to New York, to study at NYMC, and to build a new life. We waited until we graduated to try for another baby. Liz got pregnant again, and then we had Lily." Blaine smiled.

"Gods, Blaine. I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine how hard it must've been." Kurt said with tears in his eyes.

This man had lost his child. Losing a child was the cruelest fate in the world; as he had witnessed several times at the children's hospital.

Kurt reached out and took Blaine's hand into his.

"I didn't have a clue, but our marriage was really screwed already since before Lily was born. We both worked so hard, and we grew apart. Liz started an affair with one of the other cardiologists at the hospital. She saw him much more often than me, so it makes sense I guess." Blaine laughed bitterly. "About six months after Lily was born, she took our daughter with her and left. Then about a year ago, she moved to London with her new partner. And with Lily. And now I'm here. So... that's the recap of my history."

Kurt said nothing. He just kept staring into Blaine's eyes, overcome with feelings he didn't understand.

The two men just sat there for a while, holding hands.

Blaine was resting his head against the back of the couch, while looking at Kurt. They were still focused on each other, not saying a word, yet speaking loudly with their eyes.

Kurt's iPod was still playing. Both men picked up on the lyrics that were sung.

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

This was it. Everything made sense suddenly. Kurt knew what he wanted. He knew who he wanted.

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Kurt sat up and took Blaine's face into his hands, straddling him. He stared into those liquid golden eyes for a second, and then crashed his lips against Blaine's.

Blaine immediately responded by fisting his hands into Kurt's hair and kissing back as if he was a starving man.

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

Something snapped inside of Kurt. All of the desperation, all of the need, all of the grief… and yes… all of the love he felt for Blaine… It all surfaced in that kiss.

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

Kurt moaned brokenly into Blaine's mouth, as he placed his hands on the back of the couch, and rolled his hips against Blaine's.

Blaine threw his head back and gasped loudly. "Kurt..."

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

The music faded out, and another song started playing, but neither man was paying attention anymore.

Kurt attached his mouth to the other man's neck, and started kissing and licking.

Their hips grinded together in a sensual but urgent pace.

Kurt had no idea what was happening. He only knew that he wanted this. He wanted Blaine. He wanted this beautiful, sweet man to come apart beneath him. They both needed something only the other man could provide. And they were searching for it. Frantically.

"Kurt..." Blaine gasped. "Gods, Kurt, please..." Their lips met again. The grinding turned into full blown thrusting. Kurt threw his arms around Blaine's shoulders to refrain from losing his balance. They were both close, and moaning wantonly.

"Blaine!" Kurt mewled, breaking the kiss. "Oh gods!"

"Let go, Kurt... I've got you... come for me, my love..." Blaine growled.

That was it. Kurt felt like he was melting and exploding at the exact same time. Fireworks ran through his body as he came violently.

Blaine thrust once more and cried out, burying his face into Kurt's neck, as his orgasm wracked through his body. "Kurt!" He whimpered.

They held each other tightly for a few minutes, panting and trying to catch their breath. Kurt pulled back slightly from the embrace, and pressed his forehead against Blaine's.

"Wow..." He sighed.

Both men grinned shyly at each other.

"Have I told you lately that I love you?" Blaine asked softly, giving Kurt the most rapturous smile ever.

Kurt just smiled, and answered with a kiss.