"But I believe in true love, you know? I don't believe that everybody gets to keep their eyes or not get sick or whatever, but everybody should have true love, and it should last at least as long as your life does."

-The Fault In Our Stars
John Green

"I can't believe you took me here," Kurt said.

Blaine laughed, dragging his boyfriend behind him. The late February sun was beating down on the pair, doing little to warm them but effectively blinding them, the fresh snow reflecting the light brilliantly. The wind was pleasant on their faces, however, signaling that the day might get warmer yet. Blaine strode up to the ticket window and purchased two admission slips, pushing through the turnstile and on to the cream-colored pavement on the other side. Kurt copied him, though his face looked decidedly more embarrassed. He shook his head once more in disbelief. "Okay," Kurt relented. "Where to first?"

Blaine grinned at him, pulling him in close to his body and walking along the path, past various concession stands and advertisements for upcoming events. There seemed to be many people out that day despite the time of year, mostly parents chasing around their small children. Some shot the pair of boys questioning glances but kept to themselves. Blaine led Kurt up to the gate of the first exhibit - Bengal tigers.

Kurt let out a little squeal of delight, pressing right up against the cage to get a closer look. This had been purposeful, no doubt - he had told Blaine just the other day that tigers were his favorite animals.

There were two in the habitat at the moment. Both were regal and majestic, with thick orange fur striped with black, its head lined with white. The one closest to them turned its head in their direction, its gleaming golden eyes sparkling back at them.

"They're so beautiful," Kurt cooed.

"So are you," Blaine replied quietly, but it still carried to Kurt's ears. The smile on his face grew wider, and he pulled Blaine along to the other side, closer to the male. He was much larger and fiercer looking, with massive paws and a neck as thick as a tree trunk. "Here kitty kitty," Kurt called to him, talking to the tiger through the cage. "You're so pretty, yes you are-"

"Kurt? You do know that thing would eat you if given the chance, right?"

Kurt shrugged. "I have no reason to be scared of them. Who says he wants to eat me any more than I want to harm him?"

To this the tiger let out a ferocious roar, opening its mouth and bearing its intimidating rows of teeth. Kurt jumped back, into Blaine's arms, who was laughing heartily and squeezing Kurt close to him. "You okay?"

Kurt looked pale. "Yeah." There was a distinct link color rising in his cheeks. "Let's just go."

"Okay." Blaine took Kurt's hand in his and they set off deeper into the zoo, enjoying the feeling of being relaxed with each other. Kurt shivered, the cold still chilling him through his long-sleeved shirt. Usually Kurt was one for layers, but Blaine's dates were typically last-minute and spontaneous, and he didn't have the opportunity to piece together a carefully-planned outfit. Blaine unzipped his navy blue sweatshirt and handed it to Kurt who pulled it over his shoulders gratefully. There was something intimate and comforting about wearing someone else's clothes – almost a feeling of stepping into their skin.

"I'm going to show you my favorite animals," Blaine told him, as they walked along a path, stopping quickly to admire some rhinoceroses.

"Bunnies?" Kurt joked.

"Haha, very funny," Blaine replied. "But they're a bit tougher than bunnies."

The exhibit they stopped at wasn't as large as the tiger habitat, but there were more trees and foliage that hid the animals inside for a moment. And then, as if it could sense the boys, a gray wolf emerged from among the greenery, peering at the humans with intelligent blue eyes. Kurt sucked in an involuntary gasp; maybe tigers were majestic, but this wolf was downrightdangerous. Even relaxed, his stance screamed predator. But, as imposing as he was, he held an inner beauty that made him so regal and something about it made it hard for Kurt to look away. Its gaze trapped you there, rooted to the spot while it planned the best way to attack. But that was silly – these were wolves living in captivity, they couldn't hunt him even if they wanted to. And there were more – more reflective eyes started to peek out from the darkness, most holding only curiosity in their eyes, and Kurt realized it must have been the alpha that looked so hostile. He was defending his pack.

"Aren't they gorgeous?" Blaine breathed, wonder shining in his amber eyes.

"Yeah," Kurt answered. "I never really realized before how beautiful they could be. I didn't know there were wolves in Ohio."

"They're probably not native to Ohio," Blaine answered.

"You know they mate for life," Kurt said absent-mindedly.

Blaine turned his head to look at his boyfriend, his eyes raised. "How'd you know that?"

Kurt shrugged. "I like the Discovery channel, I find it interesting. Wolves only have one sexual partner in their lifetime. I think that's pretty amazing."

Blaine inclined his head curiously. "Why?"

Kurt met his eyes nervously. "Because not even humans mate for life. We have such an innate desire to satisfy our libidos that we don't even have enough control to really choose the person it's with. Wild animals are more monogamous than humans. That just amazes me."

"That's not necessarily true," Blaine retorted half-heartedly.

"Really?" Kurt turned his whole body toward him, his back now to the wolves. "How many people any more only sleep with one person in their whole lifetime? Hell, how many people actually wait until marriage before engaging in any sexual activity? It's just not in human nature to be monogamous." Kurt broke off, touching his face and was shocked to find his fingers came away wet.

"Kurt?" Blaine's voice was timid.

"Do you love me?" Kurt's voice was rushed and harsh, vocal cords closing up in his throat.

"I—" It was the first time Blaine had run out of words to say. How could he possibly answer Kurt when he didn't even believe in love?

"Because I love you," Kurt interjected angrily. "I love you so much that I can't even breathe when you're near me. I love you so much that my whole body aches when you leave. I love you so much that my body shuts down and I can't think or see or function properly, because all I want to do is kiss you and tell you that I love you, and I want you to say it back. And you can't, can you?" Only in the question did Kurt's voice hold a note of tenderness.

Eyes wide and utterly speechless, Blaine could only shake his head, shame evident in his face.

"Why?" Kurt's voice cracked loudly. People who were passing by began to stare, but he ignored them. "We've been dating for almost five months. Every time I try to say something, you interrupt me with a compliment or a kiss, but you never talk to me about what you're feeling. I just feel like I'm . . . stuck with you, and we're not moving forward or backward. I've never felt about anyone the way I feel about you, Blaine, and I can't handle being in a relationship with you if you can't reciprocate that."

"Kurt . . ." There was pain rising up in Blaine's chest, squeezing his heart tightly. "It's not that I don't love you, it's just—"

"You just don't love me, right? You can't live without me, you can't see a future, can't even see right in front of your face?"

Blaine froze. "Where'd you hear that?"

Kurt swallowed hard. "Last week when we were watching a movie in your room, you went downstairs to get some snacks and I . . . explored a bit. I wasn't being nosy, but there was sheet music you left by your piano, and I was curious to see what you were practicing. I thought maybe it was from the musical that you were writing, and I know you didn't want me to see it until it was finished, but I really wanted to know. Tongue Tied didn't seem like a classical piece, and besides, it was handwritten, so I thought maybe I'd found it. The lyrics were beautiful, I didn't even realize it was about me until—"

"Until you saw your name?" Blaine guessed.

Kurt nodded, a wry smile twisting his features. "I didn't want to believe it at first – I thought maybe I was reading too deeply into it, that maybe it wasn't as bad as it seemed. But it is, isn't it? He's too close to breaking/and I can't seem to bend/there's light after the tunnel/but where does the darkness end?"

"Kurt, stop—"

"I'm choked up with words/that I can't seem to say/there's a cost to this madness/how much will I pay?"

"Kurt, please—"

"I'm tongue tied/suffocating in silence/screaming to escape/but I just stay quiet." Kurt's tears had stopped, and now he was towering over Blaine, pulling himself up to his full height of nearly six feet. His whole body was trembling and his voice was barely a hissed whisper. "I can't love you Kurt/when there's too much pain/so let the floods begin/bring on the rain." A pause. "Were you ever going to tell me, or were you just going to keep leading me on forever?"

Blaine was still in shock, as if he'd been thrown into icy water. He hadn't expected his own song lyrics to be thrown back in his face that way. He mumbled something incoherently.

"What was that?"

Blaine still couldn't meet Kurt's icy blue eyes. "I said that I don't believe in love, Kurt. I don't really believe that two people can love each other indefinitely and unconditionally. I honestly don't believe in marriage or choosing one person to be with for the rest of your life. You're my anchor Kurt, and I can't live without you, but if a promise is what you need from me, then I can't be involved with you romantically. I can't commit to you the way you need and deserve. I care about you, I love being with you . . . but I'm not someone who can just throw around words like forever and eternity and not really mean them. You should be with someone who will offer you the things I can't, Kurt. I'm sorry it has to be like this, but lying to you hurt too much."

"Well," Kurt said, and his voice was thick with emotion. "I hope losing me hurts more."

Kurt fled from him without a backward glance.

Kurt slammed his front door with a loud thud, stomping up the stairs and throwing open the door to his dad's bedroom. He was grateful he was home alone, his dad still working down at the shop for a few more hours, so he could have some alone time without questions or interruptions. Kurt opened the bottom drawer of his dad's dresser and pulled out a small bottle of perfume, more than half empty. He pressed down on the nozzle and the spray lingered in the air for a moment before drifting down onto Kurt and the carpet he was sitting on. He let it settle a moment and then inhaled deeply, and the scent of his mother filled his nostrils and reached his brain, and his memory recalled more pleasant times that almost overshadowed the terrible twisting feeling in his stomach before they faded and he was left stumbling over the edge into darkness.

He stood then, anger seeping slowly into his bones, his mother's memory doing nothing but spurring the rage, and strode quickly over to his bedroom across the hall. Kurt grabbed the nearest picture frame his fingers could reach – it was from Christmas, when Blaine came over to help him decorate the tree – and threw it as hard as he could, grinning maniacally as it smashed loudly against the opposite wall, glass shattering everywhere. Kurt picked up another frame – this one contained the pair mid-celebration after winning Regionals, embracing tightly. Without hesitation he let it drop to the ground, bringing his boot on top of it and grinding it under his feet until it too was cracked and broken. There was no remorse in his mind, no guilt for ruining the expensive frames or making such a disastrous mess. Kurt continued right along, continuing to his bookshelf, tearing a photo album from among his textbooks. Most of the pictures were from their dates, at the ice rink or bowling or watching a show at the community theater, and a couple were candids taken by Burt or another glee club member. Kurt took pleasure in ripping every last one to mere shreds, taking care to maim Blaine's face beyond all recognition. After he'd finished tearing down the pictures stuck into his mirror and thrown away the birthday card Blaine had given him, he looked around the room, satisfied with himself for having gotten rid of anything related to him. It was only when he glanced at himself in the mirror that he realized he was still wearing the sweatshirt Blaine had given him, and tore it off quickly in horror. Unable to touch it to pick it up, and risk catching a whiff of his scent, Kurt left it on the floor, instead choosing to collapse on to his bed. It was only once he was amongst the fluffy pillows and down comforter that he let himself go, keening quietly and reliving what had happened between Blaine and him earlier that day. Kurt reached out a hand to his bedside table, meaning to grab his cell phone. What he needed desperately was someone to talk to, and recently Mercedes, a girl from glee club, had recently become his sort-of confidante. Because he couldn't go to Blaine like he normally would in a situation where he was upset, he figured she would suffice just as well. Maybe she could give him some helpful girl advice.

But his fingers brushed against something else, and that made him pause. It was rough and crinkled, probably a piece of paper. He furrowed his eyebrows, not being one to litter, grabbed the mysterious slip and pulled it toward him. Once he realized what it was, his heart caught in his throat and stopped beating altogether.

Don't listen to everyone else.

No, Kurt thought to himself, his eyes squeezing closed. He's not worth the heartache. Rip it up and throw it away. But his hands refused to obey, and he kept reading.

You're extraordinary, Kurt.

Not extraordinary enough, apparently, if you were willing to just let me go like that. Kurt pressed his fingers to his eyes in an effort to stop himself from reading more, already knowing what it would say and how it would make him feel, but nevertheless he reopened his eyes and finished the note Blaine had written for him so long ago.

Never forget that.

I won't, Kurt promised silently. I'm never going to forget.

It wasn't a promise. It was a warning.