The Starring Role

Chapter 13

Kurt and Blaine skyped and kept in contact for the following weeks before the business dinner. Old flames rekindled and they went back to the way things were before Kurt knew about Lindsey, although that was still why Kurt seemed so rigid when he talked to Blaine. He didn't want to bring it up, but if he avoided it, Blaine would surely avoid it as well. Now, though, Blaine didn't have to lie whenever he was around Lindsey or going to visit her for the weekend. They still had that layer of trust between them, but Kurt couldn't help but feel extremely jealous. Who could blame him?

They talked constantly, texting, calling, skyping (sexting and phone sex), and everything seemed to be going back to normal. The business dinner approached quickly and the pair couldn't wait to see each other again.

Kurt flew to Chicago, landing a little later than anticipated, and tried to get out of the plane before he was suffocated by the people pushing and shoving their way to the front. He finally stumbled onto the landing and was promptly picked up by Blaine at the gate.

"Hi," said Blaine with a huge smile, embracing him and planting a firm kiss on his lips. Kurt was a little shocked. Normally they wouldn't do this kind of thing out in public. Their affection for each other always stayed in the bedroom because of obvious reasons.

"Hey," said Kurt a little dazed. Blaine saw the surprise in his eyes, and it made him blush.

"Come on, we're going to be late." Blaine took him by the hand and they walked briskly through the airport, weaving their way through people.

"We've got to get back to the hotel, get changed and then be on our way to the dinner. I'm just so glad that production is done and we're finally moving to the editing stage. Well, getting deeper into the editing stage, I should say."

Kurt nodded and smiled as he babbled on. He found it quite endearing to hear him be so excited for this dinner.

They got into a cab and made their way into downtown. Kurt looked out the window at the tall skyscrapers. God, he missed this city so much. As many times as he'd been here, it always still struck him in awe.

"You excited for tonight?" asked Blaine, rubbing small circles on Kurt's hand with his thumb. Kurt turned to him, nodding.

"I get to spend the night with you," he smiled. Blaine returned it with a grin and turned back to stare at the city. Kurt did the same, only now he wasn't paying attention to the busy streets. His mind nagged him to ask the question. Maybe everything had changed and Blaine finally did what he needed to.

He decided not to.

They pulled up to the hotel and got out, grabbing Kurt's luggage and running upstairs. As soon as they were in, Blaine pulled his clothes off, stumbling over the desk and reaching for his suitcase. He pulled out a nice button up shirt with khaki's and began flattening them out. Blaine looked over to Kurt where he set his luggage on the bed, not at all worrying about the time.

"Hurry up!" exclaimed Blaine. "We don't have much time."

Kurt nodded and began pulling his shirt off, then unbuttoned his pants while kicking off his shoes. He bent down to pick them up when he was tackled onto the bed. He laughed as Blaine pounced onto the bed and jumped up and down like an excited five year old. Kurt struggled to get upright in the bed as Blaine's jumping caused him to bounce about. Finally, Blaine landed on his knees and crawled over to Kurt, who was watching him with smiling eyes, and straddled his hips. They kissed hungrily, Blaine's near naked body pressed firmly against Kurt's. Blaine swiped his tongue across Kurt's, and he threw his arms around Blaine, pressing their heads closer together. Kurt moaned as Blaine rubbed at his sides, his erection becoming more noticeable and painful against Blaine's. Blaine pressed his hips down into Kurt, making him gasp. Kurt twisted his fist in Blaine's curls, trailing one hand down Blaine's back and slipping into his briefs where he cupped his ass.

"Mmm, fuck, Kurt," he moaned.

"B-Blaine...God, Blaine. Uh, we should-we should probably-goddammit-we're gonna...late!"

Kurt wanted to care, but nothing else seemed to at the moment. He knew Blaine would get worked up about it on the way, and he'd rather save this for the end of the evening anyway.

"Don't care," said Blaine, sliding his hand in between their bodies and grabbing hold of Kurt's cock.

"Fuck, Blaine, s-stop," he moaned, though he really didn't want him to. Kurt finally managed to push Blaine off of him. Kurt was flushed red and Blaine was panting heavily, looking dark with lust.

"We've gotta get ready," laughed Kurt as he stood up and pulled his pants off.

"I don't wanna," pouted Blaine. Kurt rolled his eyes. "You were just telling me to hurry up and now you're trying to get in my pants. We have two days together, Blaine. It'll be fine."

Blaine got up and pulled his pants on, snapping back to reality where they had a schedule. Kurt watched him as he dressed, his toned stomach bending this and that way to get his clothes on. If only Kurt could drag his tongue across that smooth skin and tease Blaine until he begged for more, he'd have done it right there and then.

Kurt shook his head and finished dressing himself. After grooming themselves for an hour (Kurt taking 45 minutes), they finally went downstairs and hailed another cab.

"I can't wait to get there, I'm starved," complained Blaine. Kurt shrugged. He had to admit, he was very nervous about going. He didn't want other people talking about Blaine because he was obviously high in power on the totem pole. He couldn't introduce himself as his boyfriend, obviously, but he was still nervous about what other people were going to say about Blaine...which brought up another point....

"Hey...can I ask you a question?" asked Kurt. Blaine turned to him, concern written on his face.

"Yeah, what's up?"

Kurt bit his lip, trying to decide if he really should ask, but he decided to go with it since it was eating him up inside.

"Have you...told anyone about us?"

Blaine looked down. "No. Besides Wes, but no one else knows." Kurt nodded, his suspicions confirmed. "Have you said anything to Lindsey?" he asked flatly. Blaine looked guilty. "Erm..."

Kurt snapped his head to the window, clearly annoyed, and crossed his arms defensively. Unbelievable.

"Hey, don't be like that, Kurt. Please, I said it was going to take time."

"One month and still at the same place as before." Blaine grabbed his hand and Kurt snatched it away from him.

"Kurt, you don't know what it's like."

"Seriously?!" said Kurt with a sarcastic laugh.

"Yeah, seriously," countered Blaine. "This is a hell of a mess-"

"I know exactly what you're going through! I went through the same fucking thing, Blaine. It's just harder now because you waited so long to admit to yourself that you like guys." Kurt could tell the cab driver was listening intently to them, but he couldn't care. "So you better have a really good excuse this time."

Blaine looked at him again with frustration. "So doesn't that mean that you should have more sympathy for me? You know that it's harder for me and you expect me to jump at the gun?"

"I have plenty of sympathy for you but you obviously have no idea what its like to be in my shoes."

"Then enlighten me," said Blaine with a huff.

"Try being used! Do you know what its like to be on the side? Do you have any idea how shitty that makes me feel? I can't seem to just catch a break with you because it was great at first and now I find out that I'm with a married man."

The driver's eyes widened and he looked at them in the rear view mirror.

"Okay, so I didn't turn out to be your prince charming, sorry that I'm so disappointing for you. But you of all people should know that this kind of stuff takes time, Kurt."

"Stop using time as an excuse for being afraid!"

"You're right, I'm scared! I'm terrified and you want me to just drop my life with a wave of my hand!"

"I didn't say that, you're just avoiding the inevitable."

"So what if you just aren't patient?"

Kurt glared at him. "I've been patient for nine months, Blaine. More than patient, actually. You have a wife and you expect me to be patient while you still run back to her and not me?"

"It's not like I actually want to," Blaine's voice rose with anger. "We've been through this already, Kurt. You decided you were gonna be patient with me."

"Like I said, I've been very patient."

"Not as patient as I need you to be."

They sat in silence for a moment, just glaring at each other.

"You know, I had a buddy with kinda the same problem," said the driver.

"Shut up!" they both yelled at him.

The dinner went just about as Kurt expected it to. Blaine put on his face and talked to his coworkers and laughed and had a great time while Kurt sat at the table sipping on his wine. Blaine introduced Kurt to a few people as his friend but mostly they just talked about their work and the progress of the movie. Kurt poked at his food, trying to look semi interested in everything going on around him, but he felt left out. This was a terrible idea. Their quarrel in the car probably didn't help his mood much. In fact, it's probably what made him so sour in the first place. Who can blame him? When Blaine said he wanted to take things slow, Kurt didn't think he'd meant this long. He wasn't expecting Blaine to drape himself in a rainbow flag and drive a pink car by any means, but screwing around with other guys since high school while in a relationship with the same woman was not fair to either of them or Lindsey.

Kurt felt like he was going to explode. He was frustrated with Blaine because he could see the potential that this wonderful man had to make a difference instead of hiding behind his career. If anything, Kurt wanted Blaine to be himself and to take time to really figure out who he is.

"Hey," said Blaine, sitting down next to Kurt. "You don't look like you're having fun."

"Having a blast," said Kurt flatly.

"Well, let's blow this joint. It's about done anyway. I say we head to Bailey's now."

Kurt nodded and they stood up, waving at people as they made their way to the entrance. They hailed a cab and climbed in, making their way to the bar. Most of the car ride was made in silence, the tension still thick between them.

"Kurt...I know we were fighting a little before we got there, but I really want you to know that I'm trying."

"And what have you tried to do?" asked Kurt.

Silence.

"Thought so," he whispered. Blaine huffed.

"I'm sorry that this is taking so long but not everyone can have a family that will readily support them. You were lucky, Kurt, and even then it was hard for you."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I was lucky, Blaine. Not many people have an amazing father like mine. But I also wasn't afraid of accepting the fact that I'm different and that I didn't care what society thought about me. You're just as afraid now as you were in high school and I think it's time you finally realize what you need to do."

"Don't you get it? I have realized it-"

"No, Blaine, you know what you should do, not what you need to do."

"Goddammit, there's just no getting through to you." Blaine turned away to look at out the window, his face red. Kurt did the same.

When they pulled up to Bailey's, they climbed out after paying the driver and entered the building. It was still just as Kurt remembered. They ordered drinks and sat down at a table, not glancing at each other. They sipped their drinks in silence as they watched some people go up to perform, one after another. Blaine pulled his phone out and opened up a few missed texts. Kurt glanced down at his phone and noticed he was texting Lindsey. Anger shot through him followed by a pang in his chest.

You've brought me to this, Blaine...

Kurt stood up after the last performer and made his way to the stage, climbing up the few steps and walked over to the DJ. He whispered in his ear and he nodded, typing something in his computer while Kurt went over to the microphone. Kurt looked at the audience and spotted Blaine, where he still held his phone but was now looking at Kurt with confusion.

The music began playing and Kurt closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath before he sang his heart out.

"You're hard to hug, tough to talk to

And I never fall asleep

When you're in my bed

All you give me is a heartbeat

I've turned into a statue

And it makes me feel depressed

Cause the only time you open up

Is when we get undressed"

Kurt's gaze stayed on Blaine and he saw him get rigid. His face became stone like and expressionless as he stared at Kurt, obviously hiding behind his mask. The words rolled off his tongue with a bite, and he knew getting to Blaine this way would make much more of an impact than talking.

"You don't love me, big fucking deal

I'll never tell, you how I feel

You don't love me, not a big deal

I'll never tell you how I feel

It almost feels like a joke to play out a part

When you are not the starring role

In someone else's heart

You know I'd rather walk alone

Than play a supporting role

If I can't get the starring role"

Kurt's anger that was bottled up flared through him and he closed his eyes as he sang the last line. His heart had been broken, and if it was possible, it was breaking again. Kurt opened his eyes to see Blaine looking like he was on the verge of tears. He held a fist to his nose to cover up his mouth as he continued to watch Kurt sing.

"Sometimes I ignore you

So I feel in control

But really, I adore you

And I can't leave you alone

I'm fed up with the fantasies

That cover what is wrong

Come on, baby, let's just get drunk

Forget we don't get on"

Kurt sang the chorus again, willing himself to be strong for just a little while longer while he told Blaine how he felt through the best possible channel he knew. He couldn't keep pretending that it didn't bother him anymore. Empty promises were empty promises and Kurt wasn't about to be lied to again.

"I never sang for love

I never had a heart to mend

Because before the start began

I always saw the end, yeah

I wait for you to open up

To give yourself to me

But nothing's ever gonna give

I'll never set you free

Yeah, I'll never set you free

It almost feels like a joke to play out a part

When you are not the starring role

In someone else's heart

You know I'd rather walk alone

Than play a supporting role

If I can't get the starring role

The Starring Role."

Kurt finished with a soft ending, saying goodbye to this chapter in his life. People in the audience applauded him, but he only saw Blaine slumped in his chair, staring at Kurt again with a stone face. Kurt blinked at him. Blaine didn't move. Kurt finally nodded a thank-you to the audience and stepped off the stage and headed for the doors. He exited the building and as soon as the fresh air hit him, he began running. He knew Blaine would be right behind him and Kurt couldn't bear to look at him again. Kurt's lip quivered, but he held in everything as he ran through the neighborhood. A cab finally drove by and he waved it down. He climbed in and told him to take him to the hotel. He needed to grab his things and leave right away.

Once he arrived, he climbed out of the car. Another cab pulled up behind them.

"Kurt, wait!" yelled Blaine as Kurt ran inside. He took the stairs up as Blaine called for him to stop. Halfway up, he realized he didn't have the key card. Kurt cursed himself as he stopped and turned to Blaine.

"Give me the key card," he demanded as Blaine caught up with him. Blaine fished it out of his pocket and handed it to him without question.

"Kurt, please, stop. Let's talk!"

That's all we've been doing. Everything was always conversation and no plan of action. Kurt was fed up.

He raced to Blaine's room and slid the card in, the door clicking and Kurt shoved it open. Blaine followed him in.

"Kurt, just stop I can tell-"

Kurt turned on his heel and slapped Blaine. It felt like everything around them went still as shock filled the room. Blaine held his cheek, moving his jaw side to side as he slowly turned his head to look up at Kurt with surprise, his eyes wide and his mouth open. Kurt's eyes filled with tears and his lip quivered.

"How dare you," said Kurt, pointing at Blaine who was still shocked by Kurt's action. There was a long pause as they stared at each other. Kurt knew he had fury and pain scrawled across his face. Blaine just stared as a few tears escaped from Kurt's eyes.

"How dare you let me fall in love with you."

Blaine brought his hand down. If it was possible, Blaine looked even more shocked than before, the words hitting him harder than the slap Kurt just gave.

Kurt's finger shook and his throat was tight. He walked towards Blaine, shoving his finger into Blaine's chest as he walked backwards into the wall.

"Why did you let this happen?" demanded Kurt.

"Y-you love me?" asked Blaine credulously, like he wasn't worth loving.

Kurt lost it. He began pounding at Blaine's chest. They weren't hard punches, but Kurt still didn't let up. His vision blurred and tears spilled down his cheek as he kept muttering "how dare you" over and over again. Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt and pulled him in tight. Kurt was flush against him so he couldn't continue to beat on his chest, so he finally gave up and leaned into the touch, crying harder than he's ever cried before. Blaine breathed "I'm sorry" repeatedly as tears also began to flow from his eyes. They slid to the ground, both crying and holding each other. Blaine stroked Kurt's hair, kissing his forehead and Kurt buried his face into Blaine's shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Kurt, please believe me when I say that."

Blaine shook underneath Kurt, his hold on him getting tighter and tighter. Kurt wanted to forgive him...but this was going to be it. This was it for both of them until Blaine could figure out his life.

Kurt looked up at Blaine's tear-streaked face and red eyes. As if the same thought both crossed their mind, they kissed fervently. Kurt's hand shot up to cup Blaine's jaw as he held it there. Blaine pressed into him urgently, Kurt getting the vibe that this is what Blaine wanted. Blaine wanted him and only him.

They stood up and moved to the bed, Kurt collapsing on top of Blaine.

"I'm sorry," Blaine breathed in between kisses.

Kurt pulled his tie off and threw it aside, unbuttoning his shirt as well as Blaine's. One by one, each article of clothing came off and soon they were both naked on the bed. Kurt settled in between Blaine's legs as he kissed Blaine passionately, both of them knowing this was the last they'd see of each other.

"Kurt, I love you so much," said Blaine. The words took the air right of Kurt's lungs. This was all he wanted, all he ever dreamed of, but he wasn't going to put himself through hell anymore. He loved Blaine, too, but he just couldn't give himself anything less than he deserved.

Kurt reached for the lube in the nightstand, popping it open with one hand and coating his fingers. His hand gently came down by Blaine's ass and he slowly stretched open his love. Blaine moaned below him, his eyes closed and his face scrunched. Kurt then put a condom on and coated himself with lube. He entered Blaine slowly, the heat closing around him and he let out a soft breath. Blaine wrapped his legs around Kurt's waist and clung to his neck as he stretched open.

"Say you love me back," said Blaine. Kurt's heart tore. Why did this have to be so difficult?

"I love you, too," he said, thrusting his hips lightly and softly.

Blaine moaned and held Kurt tight, his lips attaching to the pale, soft neck. Kurt ran his hands over Blaine's sides, then up his back, repeating the motion. He wanted to remember the way he felt, the smooth skin under his gentle touch as Blaine clung to him for dear life. It was like Blaine was trying to hold onto this memory because he feared it would be over too quickly.

Kurt kept a slow rhythm, sliding in and out. At this point, neither Blaine nor Kurt were doing this for the physical pleasure, but for closeness. This intimacy was far beyond anything that either of them had experienced and it was devastating that this would be their final chance at it all. It was a truly bittersweet moment.

"I love you so much," said Blaine softly. He threw his head back and moaned, reaching his hands down to cup Kurt's ass to try and push him in farther. Kurt let his head fall onto Blaine's shoulder, inhaling deeply to memorize the scent of his skin. Blaine trailed a hand up to Kurt's hair and fisted it lightly, caressing him gently. He tilted his head in and nuzzled Kurt.

Kurt brought his head up and looked at Blaine, their eyes locking as Kurt continued to move inside of Blaine. There was no need for words at this point. Their eyes communicated everything they've ever felt for each other in that moment. It was a raw, heart fluttering moment and the hottest experience at the same time. Kurt pressed his forehead to Blaine's, their gazes still focused on each other. The amount of love coming from each other was almost palpable and it set Kurt off. He came inside of Blaine without warning, letting out a moan of pleasure as Blaine grabbed Kurt's face. He pressed their lips together firmly as Blaine followed Kurt, coming between their bodies, his moan stifled by Kurt's lips. They kissed for a long time, neither of them wanting to break away. Kurt finally moved his head away and rested it on Blaine's shoulder again. His legs began to shake with weakness, and he was forced to pull out of Blaine and settle on the bed. Blaine took no time to pull Kurt into a warm hug. They wrapped into each other, legs tangled together and bodies molded into each other, breathing softly and holding on as their last moment together drifted slowly to a close.

Kurt woke up at about 4 that morning. He detangled himself from Blaine's body and hopped into the shower, rinsing himself clean and putting on a fresh pair of clothes. He managed to style his hair quickly and packed up the rest of his clothes. He glanced at Blaine on the bed, his steady breathing the only sound coming from the room. Kurt didn't want to wake him, mainly because he didn't think either of them could handle it without becoming a complete mess.

Kurt walked to the desk and ripped out a single piece of paper from Blaine's notebook and grabbed a pen. He wrote him a note, his throat closing up and tears welling in his eyes as he did so. After scribbling his name on the bottom, he folded it up and placed it on the nightstand. Blaine shifted in the bed and turned to face him, his eyes still closed. Kurt leaned down and placed a soft kiss to Blaine's temple, lingering there for longer than he intended. He didn't want to leave, but this was for their benefit.

"I love you so, so much, Blaine," Kurt whispered to him. "Please don't forget me."

Kurt stood up and grabbed his bags. He made his way to the door and opened it, letting the lights from the hall flood into the dark room. Kurt looked back one last time at the handsome, charming and wonderful man that had snatched him off of his feet. This was goodbye for them, and Kurt hoped that someday, Blaine would be able to find his courage to stand up to everyone. He deserved the utmost happiness and Kurt hoped that he would find someone that will love him unconditionally and with all their being.

Kurt walked out of the room and clicked the door shut, his heart seeming to rip in two.

Blaine lay on the bed, hearing the door click shut. Finally, he sobbed, tears rolling down his cheek as the one true love of his live walked out of the door for good. He battled internally whether he should wake up and say a formal goodbye to Kurt or whether to just let him go. It would have been too emotional for them to talk, so Blaine just lay there. He absentmindedly brought his hand up to where Kurt had kissed him and stroked it.

Blaine cried until his eyes stung with sleep once again, and he drifted off with the words still resonating in his head, "I love you so, so much, Blaine. Please don't forget me."