The Starring Role
Spicyviolin
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The Starring Role: Chapter 10


E - Words: 4,203 - Last Updated: Aug 19, 2013
Story: Complete - Chapters: 18/18 - Created: Feb 23, 2013 - Updated: Aug 19, 2013
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Author's Notes: A/N: It's here...the long awaited chapter. I was gonna wait til tomorrow but I can't wait to post it. I'm afraid to say it, but let me know what you think!

The Starring Role

Chapter 10

"Have fun, kiddo. Not too much, though." Burt waved Kurt off as he set down the steps and to his Navigator. Kurt waved at him and yelled that he'd be back tomorrow.

He climbed into his truck and started the engine, the car rumbling to life. It brought back the memories of his drives in high school, and he felt nostalgic about his friends. Kurt shoved the thoughts aside and drove down the road, turning onto the main road in Lima.

His mind wandered as he drove, mainly to Blaine and their relationship the past couple of months. Kurt smiled at the memory of Blaine at his hotel room, a bouquet of flowers in his hand and a dopey smile on his face. Kurt couldn't stop grinning and he jumped him, pressing their lips together in a passionate exchange of welcome.

He bit his lip as he remembered later that night and the amazing sex they had.

"Wait, wait," said Kurt as Blaine rolled the condom on. He reached over to the nightstand and pulled out the familiar black, silky tie that was given to him.

Blaine looked at him with a half-smile and a raised eyebrow. "Kinky," he said hungrily.

Kurt gazed at him seductively and took the tie with two hands, throwing it over Blaine's neck.

"Just wait and see what I've got planned," breathed Kurt into Blaine's ear.

Kurt shook himself back to reality, jerking the Navigator back onto the road.

Jesus Christ, Kurt. Keep your hormones under control, he thought to himself.

Kurt got out of the car and stretched his sore legs from the long drive. He grabbed the small gift that sat on his dash and made his way up the steps. He checked his phone to confirm the address, and rang the doorbell. Kurt's heart thumped loudly in his chest. He was so nervous, yet giddy with excitement. After a minute, the door finally opened. Blaine stood there, eyes wide in shock and his mouth half-open.

"K-Kurt," he stammered.

"Surprise!" Kurt grinned from ear to ear, so proud of himself for leaving Blaine speechless.

"Uh, Kurt, what are you doing here?" Blaine tensed up and looked over his shoulder. He tried stepping outside and half-closed the door behind him.

"I came to surprise you! I had a little time off and I thought we could spend the weekend together. I knew you had the weekend off and-"

"How did you get my address?" Blaine demanded.

"Does it really matter how I got it? Why do you seem so upset?" asked Kurt, a little hurt. By now, he had imagined Blaine picking him up and twirling him around in happiness. If anything, he expected Blaine to at least be delighted that he had shown up.

"You have to leave."

"...what?" Kurt asked, half-surprised. "Leave? I just got here, I don't-"

"Honey, who is it?"

Blaine shut his eyes, his breath hitching at the sound of her voice. A blonde woman re-opened the door and looked at Kurt.

"I can handle this," said Blaine to her.

"Hi, who are you?" she asked with a smile, a tone of disdain in her voice. There was an awkward silence between the three as Lindsey and Kurt studied each other, and Blaine looking uncomfortable.

"Who is this?" Kurt asked Blaine softly.

"Uh..." Lindsey looked at Kurt, scanning his outfit and her face clearly showed what she wasn't saying.

"I just asked the same question," she said.

"I'm Kurt," he said.

Lindsey held her hand out to him. "I'm Lindsey." Kurt nodded and took her hand in firm grasp. "I'm his wife."

Kurt shook his head. Did he hear that right? He froze mid-shake, their hands still clasped.

"I'm sorry, wife?"

"...yes?" she looked at him skeptically, releasing her hand and holding it up to her chest.

Kurt felt like the ground beneath him disappeared.

"Oh." Kurt swallowed hard, a lump forming in his throat. "Blaine never mentioned he was married." Kurt gave Blaine a sarcastically fake smile.

"Uh...yeah..." Blaine looked away from him, choosing to stare at the wall, then the ceiling, then at Lindsey. Anywhere but Kurt's eyes.

Kurt felt his insides turning. Married. He suddenly felt like he was dreaming. This wasn't reality, it couldn't be.

"Are you feeling okay? You don't look so good," said Lindsey. Kurt looked at her and smiled.

"I'm fine," he managed. He looked at Blaine, who finally had the courage to look back. His eyes were full of surprise. Kurt could tell just by looking at him that he was nervous. His fists were clenched and his mouth hung slightly open, looking like a lost puppy. Kurt felt his breathing quicken, and he knew he couldn't stand to be here much longer.

"How long...have you two been together?" Kurt needed to know. He had to figure this out.

"We've been together since high school, married 5 years tomorrow" she smiled as she wrapped her arm around his waist and looked up at him. She held up her hand and displayed her wedding band, almost tauntingly. Blaine fidgeted in her grip.

Kurt felt his heart shatter. This wasn't real. This wasn't happening. It was him that was supposed to be grabbing Blaine like that, him that should be looking at Blaine with heart eyes, it was him who should be in this woman's place.

But now he knew that it was never like that.

"Umm...you guys are clearly busy," Kurt's voice quivered with emotion, "so I'm just...gonna leave."

Kurt turned on his heel and began walking back to his car.

He turned back once more saying, "It was nice to meet you," with finality. Whether he said it to Lindsey or Blaine, it didn't matter. This was the end of whatever relationship they had kindled.

"Kurt, wait!"

Kurt walked as quickly as he could back to his truck. He heard Blaine say something to Lindsey, and he shut the door as he raced after him.

Kurt walked around to the driver's side and pulled the door open, only to be shut by Blaine.

"Kurt, I can explain!"

"Explain what!?" yelled Kurt, the tears finally spilling over. "How long were you planning on doing this?"

"I meant to tell you, but I forgot-"

"You forgot?! You didn't mention this one minor detail, that you're fucking married? Don't you dare keep lying to me, Blaine." Kurt's heart clenched. He was angry. He was hurt. He was heartbroken. He was betrayed.

"You don't understand what I've gone through with this, Kurt. Please just hear me out," Blaine pleaded, his voice getting higher.

"I don't need to hear an explanation for this, Blaine." Kurt jabbed a finger into Blaine's chest accusingly. "No excuse will ever justify what you've done," said Kurt, the tears streaming down his face rapidly.

"At least hear me out!" said Blaine, eyes starting to water.

"No! You had your chance to tell me when we met in the hotel bar. You couldn't manage the decency to tell me after that first night?" Kurt opened his car door again. "You honestly thought you could keep this from me? You didn't think that someday I would find out?" Kurt's breath hitched at the last word.

"I was going to tell you! I swear, I was!"

"When?!" Blaine looked away.

"I-I...maybe next-"

"Next week? Next month?"

Blaine looked down at the ground in shame.

"You were never going to tell me."

"That's not true, I was planning-"

"Does she know?" Kurt asked with a bite. "Does your wife know you're a cheater? Or that you're gay?"

Blaine stayed silent, choosing to look away from Kurt once again.

"Thought so."

Blaine looked over at the house, then at the Navigator. He ducked behind it so the truck was blocking their view, and he grabbed Kurt, kissing him ferociously. Kurt wanted nothing more than to delve into his embrace, to wrap his arms around Blaine and hold him close, to let his lips stay locked with his own. He wanted Blaine to tell him that he was his, and Lindsey was just a mistake, and that Kurt was the one true love of his life. But he knew better.

Kurt shoved him off roughly.

"Don't you dare," said Kurt, eyes red and puffy. "Don't you ever come near me again, Blaine."

"This isn't over, Kurt," Blaine's voice shook, tears pooling in his eyes.

"Yes it is." Kurt threw the wrapped box at Blaine. It bounced off his chest and fell to the ground.

"Happy 6-month anniversary." Kurt climbed into the car and shut the door, finally losing whatever self-control he had left. He buried his face in his hands, his body shaking and his nose running. Never in his life had Kurt felt so humiliated and so naive.

Blaine knocked on the window.

"Kurt, please, don't do this to us!" Kurt turned, and through his blurry vision, he saw tears streaming down Blaine's face. He rolled down the window.

"There is no 'us' anymore. There never was according to you." The words alone made Kurt's stomach leap. Kurt reached behind his neck.

"I never wanted this, Kurt, I want you. Please, I'm so sorry! I'll make it better! I'll fix this!" Blaine pleaded again.

Kurt shook his head, another wave of tears hitting him.

"You can't fix this, Blaine. This was nothing to you from the start."

"Y-yes it was, Kurt, it was everything I needed!" Kurt finally unhooked the necklace and threw it out the window.

"Goodbye, Blaine."

"No, don't," said Blaine picking up the chain and handing it to him.

"Keep this and remember what we are, Kurt! We'll get through this!"

Kurt started the car, and quickly put it in drive. Every time Blaine said his name it felt like a stab in the stomach.

"No, no, Kurt, please!" Blaine hit the car door with his palm. "Don't go, Kurt!"

Kurt hit the gas pedal and he was speeding down the road. He looked in his rearview mirror to see Blaine standing in the middle of the road, his hands clenching his curls. He turned and kicked at the ground in frustration. And that, Kurt thought, was the last time he'd see Blaine Anderson.

Kurt wiped at his face uselessly as he drove, the tears never seeming to stop. How had it ended up like this?

He was completely furious that Blaine had let something like this go too far. How was he going to keep anything like this hidden? How dare Blaine lie to him. How dare he reel him in.

Kurt felt stupid for falling for it. This was just typical, Kurt thinking he finally found someone so perfect, when in reality, everything about him was completely distorted.

Most of all, Kurt felt broken. He shared things with Blaine, had intimate moments with him, was completely vulnerable to him. Kurt peeled his defenses down around Blaine and opened up to him like he never had to anyone before, and now all of it meant nothing. There was a bond between them that had just gotten cut in two. How do you continue on when the only other person you've shared everything with seems to be a complete stranger?

Kurt felt his heart beat rapidly, his tears still flowing at a steady pace. He couldn't handle it. He pulled over to the side of the road and put the truck in park.

"Fuck!" he yelled as he slammed the steering wheel with his fist.

"Who was that, Blaine?" asked Lindsey when Blaine walked back into the house.

"Uh...just a friend of mine I met in Chicago."

Lindsey walked up to him. "Were you crying?"

Blaine rubbed at his eyes, cursing himself for not running to the bathroom first.

"No, no, I just...um...allergies." He wiped at his nose and turned to walk to the bathroom.

She turned, and walked over to the bar counter they had. She pulled out a wine glass and poured herself some chardonnay. "That guy looked like he was in love with you." Her tone had a bite, almost vindictive.

Blaine stopped and turned his head to the side. "Did he?"

"Yeah, he screamed 'gay' from his outfit. Did you see his face when I said we were married? I can't believe you didn't tell him!"

Blaine's breathing hitched. He felt his eyes water again.

"Um, no, I just met him, I don't know why he showed up."

Lindsey shrugged and sighed. "Whatever, I'm sure homo's on his way back to wherever he's from."

They both turned to face each other at the same time. "Lindsey, do you have to be such a bitch?" She looked at him, her face expressionless. "He's gay, big fucking deal. I'm pretty sure some of your friend's are closeted lesbians."

She scoffed and jutted her hip out to the side. "Every straight man's wet dream."

Blaine tried coming up with a remark, but decided to shake it off. "Whatever. Goodnight." He didn't have the strength.

He walked upstairs to his bathroom in a haze. It happened. His worst nightmare really happened. He fucked it up for Kurt and himself.

Blaine shut the door and locked it, plopping down on the toilet. Kurt's gone from his life, possibly forever. He finally found someone he could be completely himself around, and it was snatched from his life in a few minutes.

Blaine buried his face in his hands. It's my fucking fault. Idiot, you're a fucking idiot, Blaine. You threw the best thing in your life away because you didn't have the guts to tell Kurt everything. You deserve to die alone for hurting the nicest person you've ever met.

More tears flowed from his eyes as he clutched at his curls, his arms shaking from the self-hatred coursing through his body.

"Hey, hey, come on, kiddo, it's gonna be okay," Burt soothed Kurt, holding his son possessively while he cried.

"Dad, I just d-don't understand why h-he did that," hiccuped Kurt. Burt sighed after a moment.

"I don't either, Kurt. I really don't."

Burt, dressed in his flannel pajama bottoms and plain t-shirt, woke up when he heard Kurt walk in the house. He knew he wasn't supposed to be home until tomorrow, so he went downstairs to check on him. As soon as he walked into the kitchen where Kurt was drinking a glass of water, he knew something was wrong.

"Kurt, what happened?"

"Nothing, he wasn't home." Burt didn't believe it for a second. His voice was stuffy, like he'd been crying. Burt reached out to him and spun him around.

"Kurt, look at me," he demanded when Kurt wouldn't meet his gaze. Burt grabbed his chin and forced their eyes to meet.

"What happened?"

His lip instantly started quivering and he launched at his dad, hugging him tightly.

Now they were on the couch, Kurt slowly relaxing as Burt gave him reassuring comments.

"I have never been so hurt in my entire life, Dad. I really haven't." Burt's heart clenched. Seeing his son unhappy was one of the worst sights any parent could see. He wished that Kurt was a kid again, so that all he had to do was throw him up in the air to make him forget his worries.

"Blaine wasn't sure of himself, Kurt. Nothing he says will make it better, because the pain is still there. But you have to at least let him explain," said Burt.

Kurt shook his head.

"Dad, I just found out my boyfriend of 6 months has a wife. I don't want to talk to him."

Burt nodded. "I understand. But aren't you at least curious to hear what he has to say? I would still be standing there demanding explanation after explanation."

"I know, Dad, but you know I can't handle my emotions very well."

Burt sighed and rubbed Kurt's back soothingly. After a few minutes, Kurt finally sat up and wiped his eyes and his nose. Burt reached over to the coffee table and grabbed the box of tissues, offering it to Kurt. He took it with a sad smile, and pulled a couple out, blowing his nose loudly into them.

"Never in my life have I ever outed anyone for being gay, Dad. I vowed never to do that, but you have no idea how close I was to doing just that tonight. I could have just blurted it out and hurt Blaine like he hurt me." He looked off into the distance, probably imagining the outcome of the situation if he had taken revenge on Blaine.

"Yeah, but I didn't raise you to be vengeful, Kurt."

He nodded, still looking distant. "I know, that's why I didn't do it. It would have felt so nice to get back, but what would that accomplish?"

"Not only that, but it's still his own business when he's ready to come out."

"Didn't it become my business, too? I gave him everything I had to offer, and he played games with me, Dad."

Burt sighed. "It's still not your call. He'll have a ton of shit hit the fan, but when he's ready, he'll come to terms."

Kurt looked at his dad, confused. "How do you know he'll do it?" asked Kurt.

"I'm not. But if he really loves you and from what you've told me about how he reacted tonight, he'll come around to it."

"But when? I can't sit around waiting for him," sighed Kurt, frustration evident in his voice.

"He's got a lot more to lose in this situation than you do."
"So that makes it okay?" shrieked Kurt.

"Of course it doesn't, it's not right at all. But if he does come out, he's gonna be losing everything. His wife, his family, his colleagues will find out, people will start talking behind his back. There's so much at stake for him, Kurt, his entire life he's been playing the straight card. Imagine what it'll be like for him to tell everyone he's ever known that he's into guys."

Kurt sighed. "I know..."

"Give it time."

Kurt shook his head. "I don't know if I'll ever be ready to let him in again. It hurts so much, and what if it happens again?"

"Buddy, that's the risk in love. You can't be completely certain if someone will leave you, but you have to trust in that person. Blaine broke that, and it'll take a lot of time for him to regain that from you. Love and trust go hand-in-hand."

"I'm not planning on giving it back," said Kurt, his heart clenching. He was lying. He would give Blaine the chance if the opportunity ever showed up, but he knew what was the right thing to do.

"And you think I will? He can't just gain trust back from you, he has to get it from all of us. We're your family, Kurt, and if you hurt one, you hurt us all. Whether Blaine is in your life or not, we're here for you, buddy. Don't ever forget that."

Kurt nodded, leaning over and embracing his dad with a firm hug.

"Thanks, Dad. I love you."

"I love you, too, Kurt."

Burt pulled back and saw that Kurt was trying to muster his best appreciative smile that he could. God, he hated seeing Kurt like this, and he must have cared for Blaine an awful lot for him to be hurt this bad.

"Go to bed, kiddo. A good night of rest will do ya good." Kurt nodded and stood up, dragging his feet to his old bedroom.

Burt's heart clenched at the sight. He'd get through this. His kid was strong, determined, and persistent. It was tough to think that these qualities maybe came about because of Elizabeth's death, but they were great qualities to have nonetheless.

Kurt would figure it out. Burt wanted nothing more than to show up and Blaine's doorstep and give him a piece of his mind, but Kurt was an adult. He could handle it. Kurt didn't need his help in situations like these. He could only serve as a guidance tool, but the ultimate decision resided with Kurt. He just hoped that it was the right one.

From: Blaine 12:11

Kurt, I'm sorry. I really am. Please talk to me, I can explain everything.

From: Blaine 1:31

Kurt...I know you're hurt but I please just give me a chance to talk.

From: Blaine 3:44

Please answer back, Kurt...

Kurt threw his phone across the bed and buried his face in his pillow. He can't talk to Blaine like if nothing had happened. Blaine hurt him like no one else has. All of the slushies, the punches, and being shoved into lockers didn't even measure up to the pain that Kurt felt right now. And talking to Blaine was only going to make it much worse.

Kurt sat up in his bed, wiping away at the never-ending flow of tears from his face. He needed a shower.

He grabbed his towel, some sweatpants and a t-shirt, and his moisturizing kit and made his way to the bathroom. He turned the shower on hot and let the room fill with the steam. Kurt undressed himself and stepped into the steaming water, letting the heat relax his muscles and letting his mind wander temporarily.

Blaine. That was the first thing in his mind. Blaine and his adorable smile, the way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he laughed, his messy curls and how they sat perfectly on his head, his golden eyes that looked right at Kurt like he was entranced in some dreamy state, the way his arms felt when they were wrapped around his own waist, the way his soft lips felt against his skin, the feeling of his naked body against his own and how perfectly natural it felt. But most of all, the way Blaine made Kurt feel like he was the only person in the world that mattered, that he was the one and only, and the way that Blaine cared for him.

He missed Blaine. As much as he hated to admit it, he missed Blaine and everything that was about him. But he did the unimaginable, and Kurt couldn't let Blaine in again just yet.

Kurt felt his chest contract, and he sank to the floor of the shower, tears running down his face. This was not how he'd planned this trip at all.

He sat there for a while until the water got cold, then he stepped out of the shower and dried himself, putting on more of his lazy clothes, and went back to his bed. He decided to skip his moisturizing routine. He wasn't really trying to impress anyone and he felt like no one even noticed his smooth, flawless skin anyway.

He picked his phone up and he had a missed call and voicemail. Heart pounding, he held the phone against his ear as he hit the playback button.

"Kurt, please answer me. I need you to at least hear me out so you know. Look...what I did was completely wrong, and I know that I'm an asshole and that I fucked everything up for you, but at least let me explain. I need you to know the entire truth. Can we meet up somewhere? You don't even have to say a word, I'll just do all the talking, then you can turn around and go on with your amazing, wonderful life and never talk to me again. Please. I need you to know."

Kurt threw the phone down. This was exactly what he didn't want. Blaine was being sweet and Kurt couldn't help but feel bad for him, but for what? Why should Kurt feel guilty for not giving Blaine another chance? It was him who screwed all of this up.

Kurt fell on his bed, face buried into his tear-dampened pillow. He didn't have the strength. He didn't want to contact Blaine. If he never saw him again, it still wouldn't be enough time to heal the damage that he'd done.


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