Blaine watched him from across the table with meek curiosity. Yes, Wade was definitely eating eggs.

Eggs and coffee...

On a whim he glanced down to find a plate of his own set before him, food completely untouched. Two sunny-side-up eggs, three linked sausages, and one piece of toast with strawberry jam. There was even a glass of orange juice to his left.

This must be breakfast.

Breakfast. Every morning before his parents headed off to work and he went to school.

Breakfast... Right.

With faint hesitation Blaine grabbed his fork and began jabbing at his food. He wasn’t hungry in the slightest, but maybe if he smeared everything around on his plate it would look like he ate something, which was better than nothing. With a stifled yawn he began chopping at his sausage. Sleep had not come easily last night. Between the flashbacks of Julian and strange fantasies of Kurt, Blaine wondered if he had truly slept at all…

“I think your mother has a point, Blaine,” Wade said, clearing his throat. “Why don’t you swing by the office after school today so I can show you how it’s done properly?”

Blaine looked up from his plate to find both of his parents staring at him expectantly. He couldn’t admit that he wasn’t listening; even if he wasn’t an active participant in their morning conversations he was still expected to pay attention. In his stupor he considered using the excuse just this once, but that would steer the conversation into why he was so tired, and then what would he say? Because he was up all night thinking about the two people his father hated the most? Screw the hunting trip; Wade would ship him off to military school without a second thought.

“Sorry I- I have Warbler practice after school today,” he lied quickly.

Patricia reached over to refill her husband’s coffee. “Oh sweetie, I thought rehearsals were on Mondays and Wednesdays? When did it change?” she asked.

Fighting the sudden urge to kick her under the table, Blaine smiled at his mother and said through gritted teeth, “Emergency meeting.”

“Well I can hardly see how singing could be qualified as an emergency,” Wade huffed over his coffee.

Blaine’s cheeks flushed. “We need to go over our set list,” he mumbled.

As soon the words slipped he wanted to slap himself in the face. Set list? For what? Sectionals were just last week and both his parents were well aware that regionals weren’t until March. This was the time for the Warblers to review their performances and note their strengths and weaknesses so they could form a solid game plan for regionals; hardly anything that would call for an emergency meeting.

Wade narrowed his eyes. “I think they’ll do just fine without you.”

Blaine peered up at the clock in desperation. Five after seven. When did it get so late? First period started at seven thirty and he wasn’t even dressed.

“I’m sorry what did you need to show me again?” he asked.

“How to properly review a patent so you don’t end up like Rupertson did yesterday. Loopholes aren’t always your friend, Blaine. Just one could mean the downfall of your future.”

Work. Of course Wade was talking about work. Blaine hadn’t really expected him to be talking about anything else, but it unnerved him nonetheless. Ever since he could remember his dad had been pushing for him to become a lawyer so he could turn his law firm into a family business, which was a problem for two reasons: the first being that Blaine had no interest whatsoever in becoming a lawyer and the second being that, since he was gay, the line of the ‘family business’ would most likely end with him.

“That’s great dad but I really don’t have the time-”

“Nonsense. This is your senior year, Blaine. It’s time to stop doo-whopping around with your friends and start working to better your future. There’s a whole new life waiting for you outside of high school and from what I’ve seen you haven’t shown the slightest interest in pursuing it. You should be grateful that I’ve taken it upon myself to do it for you; not every kid is so lucky.”

Blaine played with the yolk of his egg as he listened, taking a keen interest in the way the sticky substance oozed from inside its bubble when he stabbed it.

“Your father has a point, darling. Graduation will be here before you know it and you’ll have accomplished nothing if you keep letting these silly things get in your way. Maybe if you cleared your schedule a little you’d have more time to focus on the things that really matter. You’re father and I have been thinking about this for a while, and I think it’s time we ran it by you.”

Food forgotten, Blaine’s fork slid from his fingers with a clatter.

“What are you getting at?” he asked.

“We want you to quit the Warblers.”

His father spoke as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, like saying you needed air to breathe.

“I don’t understand,” Blaine glanced between his parents anxiously. “I’ve always been a Warbler.”

“My point exactly. You’ve been so caught up in rehearsals and performances that you haven’t given yourself the time to even think about filling out college applications.”

“So I’ll apply tonight when I get home, I promise. I’ll skip the meeting and come to your office so you can help-”

“No,” Wade fixed his fork pointedly at his son. “I want you to go to the meeting and tell them you’re done.”

Blaine panicked. “You’ve never had a problem with the Warblers before.”

“And it’s a shame it’s taken me this long to realize what a problem they actually are. I’ve always known that having such a demanding extracurricular would set a few speed bumps in your way, but it’s apparent that they’ve grown into a road block.”

“Why’s that? Because I’d rather be practicing with them instead of staring at paperwork all night with you?”

Blaine noticed his father’s shoulders stiffen; bracing himself against his words and preparing to throw them back in his face.

“Look, dad,” he sighed. “Being a Warbler looks great on my high school record; how would it look if I quit now? Mom you said so yourself when I wanted to resign last year,” Patricia avoided his gaze by taking a keen interest in straitening her napkin. “I don’t get it. You’re the ones who encouraged me to sign up for an extracurricular so I’d have something besides my GPA to put on college applications.”

“I would have preferred something in the athletics department,” Wade began with a huff, but Blaine cut him off. It was enough for his father to say the Warbler’s were nothing but a distraction; he didn’t need to hear him belittle them as well.

“Dad I love being a Warbler. All the singing and dancing and unity and teamwork, I can’t get enough of it. It’s my passion. I mean, isn’t that what you wanted when you had me transferred; to become passionate about something?”

“No,” Wade clenched his fist a little too tightly around the handle of his coffee mug. “We transferred you with the hope that you’d let go of all these meaningless distractions and make something useful of yourself.”

Blaine got the feeling that ‘meaningless distractions’ meant Julian, but he held his tongue. The argument at hand was dangling the fate of nearly all his friends on a thread; one that would surely snap if he added the weight of one more- especially if that weight was Julian’s.

“I’m not quitting the Warblers,” he said firmly. “They need me. I’ll skip practice and swing by the office to do paperwork with you tonight, but I’m not resigning. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get ready for school.”

Wade opened his mouth to argue when Patricia grasped his arm gently. “Don’t,” she motioned to the clock on the wall. “You’re both late enough as it is.”

Blaine silently thanked his mother and excused himself from the table.

“This discussion isn’t over,” Wade sneered after his son.

--

Blaine slammed his bedroom door closed. Just twenty minutes ago he figured his only challenge would be making it through school, but now he couldn’t see how he’d possibly make it through the day. He was going to be late for class, there was a strong possibility that he’d be forced to quit the Warblers, he needed to fill out college applications before his father did it for him, and to top it all off the hunting trip was next weekend and he still hadn’t figured out how to tell Kurt about it.

Great, he thought as he pulled off his shirt and whipped it over his shoulder. If life wants to throw anything else my way, now would be the perfect time to do so.

Just then a soft bundle of fabric hit his back. Blaine whirled around to find the tee shirt he tossed across the room lying in a heap at his feet. Curious, he bent down to grab it. Yeah, it was definitely the same shirt, still warm from the heat of his body… But how did it end up at his feet?

Eyebrows furrowed, he straightened to make for his dresser but was stopped short when he found himself nose to nose with Julian.

“You should watch where you throw things, Blaine. You never know who you might hit,” he smiled.

Blaine jumped and covered Julian’s mouth with a start, sparing a tentative glance towards the door for any sign that his parent’s had heard him. When he was sure there were no sounds of movement from downstairs Blaine rounded back on Julian.

“What are you doing here?” he hissed.

Julian raised his eyebrows and lowered Blaine’s hand from his mouth. “I came to see you, of course.”

“But how- how did you get in here?” Blaine whispered.

Julian scanned Blaine’s face with amusement. “You know how I got in.”

Blaine didn’t have to rack his mind too hard to realize he scaled the roof using the table on the deck. No phone call, no heads up, and certainly no indication that he’d be stopping by. Just like old times.

“I was pleased to find you kept your window unlocked for me after all these years,” Julian purred.

“Or it could be that I forgot to lock it. Everything I do isn’t with you in mind, you know.”

Julian smirked and ruffled a hand through Blaine’s hair. “You sound so sure of yourself, Blaine. It’s cute. By the way, I’m disappointed in you.”

Blaine cocked an eyebrow. Julian had been here for all of three minutes; he didn’t have time to do anything to disappoint him.

“For what,” he asked.

“For not trying to prove me wrong the other night when I said you’re too thin. Had you taken off your shirt I would have kept my mouth shut,” Julian smirked.

Blaine couldn’t help but smile back. Here he thought that Julian had stopped by to dump another problem on his shoulders when really he was just… being Julian.

“So you’re calling me fat now,” he laughed, swatting at Julian’s shoulder with his shirt.

Julian caught the sleeve as it came at him and pulled Blaine in close. “Please,” he chuckled, running a finger down his abdomen. “As much as it pains me to give you a compliant without having you work for it, I have to admit you look good.”

Blaine smirked. “I told you, it comes with the Warbler package-” he began, but had to cut himself short. There may not be a Warbler package soon…

Julian smiled knowingly. “Don’t look so blue Blaine; it’s really not your color. I can think of a million ways to keep you active after you’ve quit.”

Blaine frowned and rubbed the back of his head. “You heard all that, huh?”

“That’s the beauty of ventilation systems; they speak up when walls can’t.”

An echo of chairs sliding across the kitchen floor snapped Blaine back to the situation at hand.

“Look Julian, it’s great to see you and everything, but you really have to go. I’m late to class as it is and if my parents catch you here they’d kill us both.”

Julian strolled over to Blaine’s closet and began shifting through his clothes. “So put on a shirt and let’s go.”

“Let’s? No, Julian there is no let’s-”

Julian tossed Blaine a sweater, “This one. No blazer today, you’re playing hooky.”

“You’re joking.”

“I assure you I haven’t changed that much over the years.”

Blaine glared at him over the sweater. “I can’t just skip school.”

“You’ll do as I tell you,” Julian warned, crossing to the window. “We have more important things to take care of today.”

“Can’t it wait until later?” Blaine felt stupid for even asking. When Julian needed something done he expected the results to be instant. Waiting didn’t exist in his vocabulary.

“If you won’t meet me at the car willingly I’d be more than happy to drag you down the stairs and out the front door myself. I’ve been itching to give Wade a piece of my mind anyway. Which do you prefer?”

Somewhere within Blaine’s silence Julian found his answer. “I’ll meet you at the car,” he smirked, ruffling Blaine’s hair once more before disappearing silently out the window.

Blaine bit his lip. The clock on his wall read twenty after seven. It took forty five minutes to get to Dalton. If he left now he’d make it in time to catch the second half of first period, but he’d be marked as absent instead of tardy. If he was going to be absent from one class then he might as well miss all the others too; it was only fair. With a heavy sigh Blaine threw on his sweater and coat, grabbing his Dalton blazer for good measure. If he had to skip then he sure as hell wasn’t going to get caught.

He rushed down the stairs a minute later, making a point to have his mother hold his blazer while he tied his shoe. With a quick kiss goodbye Blaine was out the door and at his SUV where Julian was already sitting in the passenger seat fiddling with his camcorder.

“Where to,” he asked, backing out of the driveway and away from whatever guilt that still lingered.

Julian shrugged, “Anywhere.”

--

Kurt glanced at the clock above the whiteboard for what felt like the hundredth time since class began ten minutes ago. Most days he’d be mortified that only so few minutes had passed, but today he willed the hands of the clock to move slower. Julian had arranged to meet him downtown at ten (Kurt only agreed to the time because his curfew was midnight, giving him a perfectly justifiable excuse to split early) and he was anything but excited. Now that the initial shock of meeting him was over, Kurt was only left with his confusion. Yes, Julian was every bit as intimidating as he imagined, but nowhere near as vile as Patricia made him out to be. He was straightforward, easy talking, and somewhat lighthearted, although his comments about Kurt were anything but flattery. Kurt could see why Blaine would take a liking to him. If the time Blaine spent at his old high school was every bit of a nightmare as it came across then he supposed having someone like Julian to cling to would have been useful. Still, he refused to let his guard down. Patricia wouldn’t have said those things if there hadn’t been a reason.

His phone vibrated against his thigh, alerting him of a new message. Kurt let out a small sigh. He had wondered how long it would take before Blaine began their annual string of daily text messages. Normally he would jump at the chance to talk to his boyfriend, but right now Blaine was the last person he wanted to talk to. Julian’s smile was still fresh in his mind and he had no idea how Blaine would react if he told him his best friend had sought out his boyfriend without his knowledge. Would he be offended or excited? Either reaction would end poorly. If he was offended he might get mad at both Julian and Kurt for meeting behind his back, but if he was excited there was a strong possibility he’d attempt to get the three of them to hang out together. Kurt remained apt in his decision to stay away from Julian as much as possible. He already signed up to work with him on his project, there was no changing that, but seeing him during his free time when he could be with his friends or spending alone time with his boyfriend was out of the question. Besides, he remembered all too well how Blaine had reacted when he first heard from Julian and was certain that he wasn’t ready to see the two of them together just yet.

Almost against his will Kurt fished his phone from his pocket and frowned when he saw Wes’ name lighting the screen. Wes was one of Blaine’s good friends, but he was nothing more than an acquaintance to Kurt. The last time they had spoken was to put together a surprise birthday party for Blaine using the Warbler’s practice room, but that was during his time at Dalton, and for a perfectly good reason. Why would he be contacting him now?

Kurt unlocked his phone and opened the message, which simply read Where’s Blaine? He glanced at the time on the screen and sent back a leisured response.

(12:42) I don’t know how it escaped you but I no longer attend Dalton. You can’t possibly expect me to know where he is at any given moment anymore.

Wes responded almost instantly.

(12:42) I didn’t see him during passing time.

(12:43) He’s only human, Wes. Maybe he went to the bathroom?

Two minutes passed and Wes hadn’t responded. Kurt was just beginning to think he accepted his argument when his cell phone buzzed again.

(12:45) Jeff says he failed to show in first period.

As silly as the conversation was, Kurt couldn’t help but keep a small trickle of anxiety from running down his spine.

(12:46) So he woke up late. It happens.

Blaine did look exhausted when he saw him last. It was possible that sleep had finally caught up with him. Then again, sleep or no sleep perfect attendance was something his boyfriend prided himself on. It was out of character for him to be tardy, let alone miss an entire class. But Kurt said so himself- he was only human.

(12:48) Late enough to miss third period as well?

Kurt stumbled over the keypad, cursing it for being so small.

(12:49) Who said anything about missing third period?

Now that he thought about it, the school day was almost over and Blaine hadn’t attempted to get a hold of him at all, which was strange considering his short attention span and how bored his second period Economics class made him.

(12:51) Thad.

Kurt considered this. From what he remembered Thad wasn’t the most observant student at Dalton. Still, Blaine missing a class would be as obvious as the whiteboard going missing. Blaine was always there; if a professor didn’t make a comment during role call then a fellow classmate would have.

(12:54) You’re telling me no one’s tried texting him?

(12:55) We just did, he won’t answer. Have you?

(12:56) Not yet.

(12:56) Why not?

Kurt tightened his grip on his phone. He didn’t need to justify himself to Wes, or to any of the other Warbler’s who were undoubtedly following their conversation over his shoulder.

(12:59) That’s none of your business. You guys are his friends, you should have been trying to get a hold of him the moment you realized he was gone.

(1:01) And you’re his boyfriend. Which volume speaks louder?

Kurt turned off his phone and threw it into his bag. If Blaine wasn’t answering their text messages then who could say he’d answer his? Besides, if anything bad had happened he was almost certain Patricia would have informed him by now. Their late night phone call wasn’t exactly the best way to get to know each other, but despite the circumstances of the conversation she seemed to trust him well enough to keep him updated on anything that may have happened between Blaine and Julian.

Kurt laid his head onto the table and let his mind wander. Why had she even bothered to call him at all? Was it out of concern or did she just want to use him to keep close tabs on what Blaine was up to? Blaine told him once that image meant everything to his family, but what did that mean? If Blaine was caught doing something that his parents deemed inappropriate would they whisk him away for the sake of keeping appearances? Yes, Julian had done some awful things to people, but nothing that couldn’t be justified. What if her concern wasn’t for Blaine’s wellbeing, but for the trouble Julian seems to land him in when he’s around? Kurt closed his eyes. No, he couldn’t think like that. She was Blaine’s mother, after all. If that were the case she wouldn’t have bothered to mention the bruises and broken bones...

Someone behind him laughed about class being over soon, driving Kurt’s attention back to Julian himself. Would it have been better if he didn’t know anything about Julian at all? Would he have even agreed to do the movie with him if he hadn’t? He didn’t want to know the answer. Julian was here and he wasn’t going anywhere. If he could find the strength to put up with him and get through this stupid project then it didn’t matter. Julian would be gone and Blaine would be his again and he wouldn’t be having all these crazy thoughts anymore. He didn’t care if it was selfish; he just wanted everything to go back to the way it was before.

Kurt squeezed his eyes tighter, a tear rolling silently down his cheek.

Maybe everything was going back to the way it was before.

--

It was nearing five now and Blaine was positively exhausted. His initial excitement when Julian told him they were going to be working on his film had subsided into passiveness as the day progressed. As it turned out the only thing Julian needed from him was his knowledge of the area so he could get scenery shots to compile his setting. When Blaine wasn’t driving much of the day was spent watching idly while Julian stared at trees and filmed dead leaves blowing across the pavement. It left Blaine feeling a little dejected. Eventually he pitched the idea of taking up a role in addition to simply driving him around all day when he discovered, much to his surprise, that Julian already had all the actors he needed; responding with nothing more than a sly smirk when Blaine asked who he had found on such short notice.

The two hadn’t spoken much after that. After a while Julian suggested ditching the car and going for a walk through Lima’s small recreational park, which Blaine was more than thankful for; if he had to sit in that stifled heat any longer there was a risk he’d fall asleep at the wheel.

He strode silently down the wooded trail after Julian, both allowing the crunch of leaves to fill in for their absent conversation. Julian’s breath came out as a thick billow of smoke that trailed off far behind him while Blaine’s was small and thin, like a candle that had just been blown out. Blaine considered asking if he took up smoking since they met last when Julian stopped abruptly, halting Blaine in his tracks.

“This is it,” he smiled, taking his camcorder from his bag. “I assumed this place would be as much as a joke as the rest of this town, but this is exactly what I’ve been looking for.”

Blaine looked around the clearing ahead. Whatever it was that made this part of the woods any better than the rest was beyond him; the bare trees were all identical and the ground looked just as damp as it did anywhere else. But Julian saw something special, and that was all that mattered.

He watched him film quietly for fifteen minutes before Julian headed to the center of the clearing, holding out his hand for Blaine to join him. With a tired smile Blaine crossed the field and took it, thankful to receive some sort of acknowledgment other than curt instructions on where to stand so he wouldn’t be in the way.

“Do you hear that?”

Blaine strained his ears, listening for anything out of the ordinary. When nothing came he turned to Julian. “Hear what?”

“The chains,” Julian smiled.

Blaine looked at him inquisitively. “What chains?”

Julian rolled his eyes and readjusted his hold on Blaine’s hand, leading him away from the clearing and back to the trail. “I figured your pathetic lack of observation would have sharpened by now, seeing how I wasn’t around to protect you all this time, but apparently it’s only grown duller.”

“Zero tolerance will do that to you,” Blaine smiled. “I didn’t need protecting.”

“Maybe not there, but you wouldn’t last five minutes out here. There’s a whole life waiting for you outside of that school, and it’s not as sugarcoated or forgiving. You have to keep your wits about you,” he smirked, guiding Blaine around the bend of the path. “You never know what could be waiting for you around the corner.”

Tucked away in an overgrown clearing off the path sat an old playground. The windblown scatter of dead leaves across the surfaces of the equipment indicated that it had been long since abandoned. A pair of rusted swings dangled pathetically in the back by their chains. The slide had lost its luster to rust a long time ago. A set of metal monkey bars sat caked in dirt from years of inactivity. But it was the carousel that caught Blaine’s eye most of all. It too had fallen victim to filth and rust, its circumference jagged with dirt and vines, but somewhere under its neglected veneer Blaine could make out small chips of red paint. The paint hadn’t chipped from negligence alone; but from an entire lifetime of usage. Once upon a time it had been the most loved contraption in this park. Generations of children had fought over whose turn it was to grasp its smooth bars and spin until the world around them obscured together, somehow making absolutely perfect and completely no sense at all. Now all that remained was a shell; a ghost of children’s laughter and memories long forgotten in the blur of the wheel of adulthood they were forced to step onto. In some strange way Blaine sympathized with it. He smiled somewhat sadly at Julian and squeezed his hand. Not just for the carousel, but for the park itself. Dark snow clouds hung low above it, the disappearing sun drenching it in shadow. Greens and browns of the grass and tress paled in its ashen haze. A light mist clung at its feet. Everything was tinted grey here, and for the first time in what felt like forever Blaine felt a strong pang of affinity for the world around him.

“It’s…”

“I know,” Julian whispered, squeezing Blaine’s hand in comprehension. “It’s beautiful.”

The two walked hand in hand to the swings. “Shouldn’t you be filming this,” Blaine asked, running his hand along the slide’s railing as they passed. “It’s the best thing we’ve come across all day.”

Julian shook his head. “No. Cameras distort the things they capture if the lighting is off. Looking back on the recording wouldn’t be striking as it is right now.”

The chains of the swing set shrieked in protest when they sat down. Blaine didn’t think they were weak enough to snap but he kept his feet planted firmly on the ground anyway. “So finding this place was a waste?” he asked dejectedly.

“I wouldn’t say that.”

“If you can’t film it then what’s the point in being here?”

Julian brought his backpack to his lap and began shifting around inside. “Just because I can’t use it for my project doesn’t mean I don’t want to use it for something else.”

“What else could you possibly want to use it for?” Blaine asked.

“The setting to a memory,” Julian stopped shuffling around his bag and pulled out a fifth of whiskey. “I can’t film it but that doesn’t mean I want to forget it. I want to be able to look back on this as the day we officially reunited. It really is a fitting setting Blaine, with all the grey. Black and white coming together as one,” Julian unscrewed the cap and took a shot before offering the bottle to Blaine.

Blaine took it apprehensively. “Where did you get this?”

“Wade always stashes a bottle or two in his closet in case your mother goes on one of her kicks,” he smirked. “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten?”

“My parent’s room is off limits, Julian.” Blaine groaned. “You know that. Is that the reason you snuck in this morning? What’s he going to do when he realizes it’s gone?”

Julian shrugged. “I wouldn’t know. He’s not my father.”

“Well I do. He’s going to kick my ass.”

Julian swung his swing to the side and nudged Blaine with his shoulder. “Better drink up then. If you’re going against his fists it shouldn’t be for nothing.”

Blaine shook his head and stared down the neck of the bottle. Julian hung on his every feature.

“Drinking is for celebration, Blaine,” he whispered. “Aren’t you happy to see me again?”

Blaine closed his eyes and willed the goose bumps on his spine to disappear. Of course he was happy to see Julian, but saying it wouldn’t be enough; he had to prove it. If this was how Julian wanted him to show his appreciation then he didn’t have a choice. With a crunch of his nose he tipped the bottle to his lips and drunk, Julian’s gaze never leaving his face. The smell alone was enough to make him sick, but the burn that accompanied it was the worst. After two struggled sips Blaine removed the bottle from his lips and cringed.

“You can do better than that,” Julian sing-songed, but his expression was anything but lighthearted.

Blaine glared sideways at him and returned the bottle to his lips, holding his breath in an effort to relieve at least one of his senses from the poison. It didn’t work as well as he had hoped, but it helped. He managed to keep the whiskey flowing freely down his throat for nearly ten seconds before it closed in protest, making him choke. Julian smiled and rubbed reassuring circles over his shoulder blade. “Let me have your phone.”

Blaine squinted at him over his hand. “Why,” he coughed through his fingers.

“So I can put on some music. We can’t drink in silence now can we? This is a celebration, Blaine. Not a grieving.”

Blaine gestured for him to take his phone from his coat pocked while he coughed. When Julian saw the alerts of missed calls and messages on the screen his smile faltered.

“My, aren’t you the popular one?” he sneered. “So many missed messages, all from different people. From the way they cling I’d assume Kurt’s not the only one you’re fucking.”

“They’re my friends, Julian. They probably missed me.” Blaine’s stomach sank. “I didn’t tell anyone where I was.”

“Rightly so, it’s none of their business. Drink.” Julian shoved the bottle back at Blaine and dismissed his notifications.

Blaine hesitated before holding out his hand for the phone. In lieu of how tired he was and running around with Julian all day he had completely forgotten to text Kurt. He was probably worried sick by now. “I should probably-”

“I said drink!” Julian snapped. “I waited two years to have you; they can wait a few more hours.”

Blaine opened his mouth to protest but stopped himself short. Julian had a point. Was there really a difference between calling Kurt now as opposed to in a couple hours? He supposed not. Besides, Julian became riled at the mere sight of Kurt’s picture; it probably wasn’t the best idea to talk to him in his presence. Either way, the thought wasn’t comforting enough to keep the guilt from boiling in his stomach.

Julian dropped his shoulders and prodded Blaine with his foot. “What was it Eric used to say, huh? Hang with the best and fuck the rest.”

Blaine looked at him with a start, the mention of Eric’s name flooding him with memories he hadn’t realized he forgotten. Eric, the hopeless freshman who had more pimples than friends and more brains than anyone else at Cottingham. Eric, the white boy who wanted to be a rapper and claimed to know more about twinkies than anyone in Ohio. Eric, who didn’t see a difference between fat girls and skinny girls because they still had breasts either way. Eric, the only other person who had the balls to be his friend apart from Julian. Who didn’t mind being christened a fag for hanging out with the gay kid. Eric… the boy who died too soon.

With a deep sigh Blaine brought the bottle to his lips and looked fondly at his friend. This was why Julian had come back; to remind him of the things he had been too scared to remember. What if it had been Julian that died that night instead of Eric? Would Eric have sought him out after all this time to keep his memory alive, or would he have done his best to forget, like Blaine had? There was no way to know. But Blaine did know that right now, in this very moment he was exactly where he needed to be, and Julian was the only person he should be with. With a smile he tilted the bottle at Julian and took another swig, “Fuck the rest.”

***
Just a perfect day
Drink Sangria in the park
And then later when it gets dark
We go home
***

The park’s grey hue had seamlessly eroded into black some time ago. Blaine couldn’t quite remember when he first noticed the sun was gone, but he didn’t mind; the whiskey warmed him better now than it had all day. He didn’t miss the light so much; his eyes adjusted fairly well to his surroundings and Julian said it was always better to drink at night anyway, which he found to be true. Drinking in the dark made you braver. The woods never really got to him during the day but at night he was certain everyone was at least a little creeped out by them, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t. With the night came the shadows, and with the shadows came the uncertainty. The trees merged together and every bustle of a bush sent your imagination reeling. What sort of predators lay concealed in the thickets? Alcohol or not, you could never quite escape the feeling that you were being watched. Drinking just made you care less.

A good period of time was passed drinking on the swings. Julian had made some sort of drinking game out of who could swing the highest, which eventually turned into who could jump the furthest when Blaine’s swing started whining a little too loudly whenever he reached a certain elevation. The seat of Julian’s swing snapped off in protest after a while and that lead to a whole new game of seeing who could climb up the dangling chains the fastest, which Blaine lost by default when his chain broke from the beam halfway up.

After that the whiskey had set in and the swing set had lost any appeal it may have had before the two had pushed it too far. Blaine was reaching an uncomfortable excitement where he had to keep his body moving and wondered aloud if the slide would prove more useful than the swings had been. As it turned out the steps of the ladder were far too rusted to tempt, but that didn’t keep them from clambering up the slide itself and shouting ridiculous movie quotes when they reached the top. Blaine found that there was just enough room at the peak for the both of them to stand and observe the layout of the park if he clung close to Julian, which made him smile. His balance may have been tossed from the booze but Julian stood strong and sturdy as ever. He felt more secure holding onto him than the railing of some slide, anyway.

***
Just a perfect day
Feed animals in the zoo
Then later a movie too
And then home
***

Julian wasn’t quite on Blaine’s level yet, insisting that his tolerance was higher from years of practice. They ran down the slide (Julian catching Blaine around the middle when he stumbled toward the ground) and made their way over to the monkey bars to drink more. At this point Blaine couldn’t stop laughing. His sides hurt and there were times where he had to stop walking just so he could sit and catch his breath. It was ridiculous really, the monkey bars were only twenty feet away but he couldn’t go five without dropping to his knees. Julian was patient though, laughing along with him most of the time at whatever memory of the two slurred from his mouth.

The fourth time Julian pulled him to his feet he turned Blaine away from the direction they were heading.

“Where are we going,” Blaine chuckled.

Julian smiled, “Detour.”

“Youra liar,” Blaine slurred, “The monkey bars are right there!”

“It’s a surprise.”

“Surprise? Oh no. No, no no no no no. Julian! I hate surprises-”

Julian covered Blaine’s mouth and laughed. “Shh! You have to be quiet or you’ll ruin it.”

Blaine continued to mumble quietly through Julian’s hands, his sense of curiosity peaking the further the park became. After fifty feet Julian stopped walking and let go of Blaine’s face to bring a finger to his lips.

“Shh.”

Blaine held back a giggle and mimicked the action, pressing own his finger to Julian’s lips. Julian crunched his nose and smiled, gesturing with his head to the cluster of woods ahead.

“Look,” he whispered.

A group of geese lay sleeping at the edge of a small pond. Blaine made a drunken noise that bordered somewhere between excitement and affection, causing a couple of them to stir. Julian knocked him over the head playfully.

“I saw them from the top of the slide,” he whispered. “They shouldn’t be sleeping so early. Too afraid of the dark to face it head on, the sissies.”

“Sissies,” Blaine agreed, nodding his head profusely. “Let’s teach ‘em a lesson.”

Julian smiled widely and took off towards the geese, Blaine close at his heels.

“Sissies,” Blaine shouted, waving his arms drunkenly. “Sissies! Wake up ya sissies!”

The geese slowly got to their feet with aggravated honks and began wobbling off.

“Come on Anderson, they’re getting away,” Julian laughed, grabbing Blaine’s wrist and propelling him faster toward the pond.

They ran around the water in a drunken haze, shouting and shooing the geese from their slumber. Julian tried to catch one, only to succeed in sliding feet first into the pond, making Blaine double over in laughter until Julian sent a wave went flying his way.

“Jesus Christ that’s cold,” he sputtered, rubbing the water from his face.

“That’s what you get for laughing,” Julian smiled.

“Oh that’s what I get, huh? Wanna know what you get?” Blaine jumped into the pond and splashed Julian back, initiating a playful wrestling match on the embankment. The two fell from the pond and tossed and turned in the mud for a long time; Blaine giving teasing slaps when he had the upper hand and Julian thrusting his hips into his when he managed to stay on top.

Blaine found himself fighting back a little less when he did this.

***
Oh it’s such a perfect day
I’m glad I spent it with you
Oh such a perfect day
You just keep me hanging on
You just keep me hanging on
***

Blaine quickly fell back into his fit of laughter when they returned to the park. Julian didn’t help his cause when he started making up ridiculous things to do on the monkey bars. Blaine’s personal favorite was a drinking game Julian called cliffhanger. The two would start at opposite sides and swing across the bars until they met in the middle, where they would hang on by one hand and wrestle until the other one lost their grip, the one that fell first having to drink.

When cliffhanger proved to be too strenuous they settled on hanging upside down by the back of their knees and taking shots. Blaine didn’t know if it was the blood or the alcohol rushing to his head that made Julian’s smile look so much like Kurt’s but either way it made him feel sick. Kurt already had it in his mind that he would cheat on him with Julian, how would he feel if he knew he was spending his day drinking with him in an abandoned park?

“You’re thinking,” Julian stated.

“I am.”

Gravity pulled Blaine’s lips into a bigger smile than he intended, but he was sure Julian got the hint he wasn’t happy.

“What about?”

Blaine sighed. “This is fun and all Julian, but we shouldn’t be doing this. Maybe it was okay before but it’s not anymore.”

Julian frowned and pulled himself upright, Blaine following suit.

“Because of Kurt.”

Blaine nodded. The mix of alcohol and blood began to drain from his ears, making him lightheaded.

“I see,” Julian said slowly. “I better get you home then. We wouldn’t want to make him uncomfortable having you out all night now would we?”

“Thanks for understanding,” Blaine muttered. He didn’t feel good. His body was too heavy and everything was swimming in strange ways.

Julian hopped off the monkey bars and helped Blaine down. When Blaine held onto his shoulders a little too fiercely to try to find his footing Julian smirked. “Hold onto me, I won’t let you fall.”

With a muffled thank you the two made their way silently through the park. Blaine was more than grateful for Julian’s understanding. The initial shock of him having a boyfriend must have worn off since the last time they saw each other; which would explain why Julian had failed to mention Kurt at all today.

***
Just a perfect day
Problems all left alone
Weekenders on our own
It’s such fun
***

A strong breeze beat against their backs, making Blaine stumble. Somewhere beside them came a high pitched whine. He looked over to see the carousel attempting feebly to turn against the wind. Julian followed his gaze and stopped. “Get on,” he said sternly.

Blaine lifted his eyebrows, “On that?”

“It’s the only thing in this place we haven’t touched, you might as well. I know how much you like it.”

Blaine hesitantly looked back at the carousel. Julian was right, he did like it, but it was too dark now to see the chips of paint and the shadows from the trees made it look menacing.

“What if it doesn’t work anymore?”

“Only one way to find out.”

Blaine let himself be guided to the piece of equipment. Julian let go of his hand and gave it a heavy spin to knock off the branches and leaves that coated its surface. It seemed to spin alright; wobbling on its axis only when it slowed, but the shriek of the metal made Blaine cringe. Julian caught one of its bars to stop it and gestured for him to step on.

“I dunno Jules; my stomach might not be able to handle it.”

“Get on.”

Blaine took a step backwards. “I’d really rather not-”

“Do as I tell you and get on,” Julian hissed through gritted teeth.

With a hard swallow Blaine stepped onto the carousel and stared at Julian.

“Sit,” Julian smiled, “This’ll be fun, I promise.”

Blaine sat down tentatively, gripping the frozen handle bars as tight as he could. Julian took a bar in his hand and started walking, spinning the merry go round slowly. Blaine let himself relax a little. The action wasn’t as upsetting as he assumed it would be; in fact it was somewhat soothing.

“You know I’ve wanted to talk to you about something, Blaine. I guess now is as good of a time as ever.” Julian stopped walking and began pushing the carousal with one hand. “It’s actually quite fitting; having you like this. I’ll admit it’s not usually my style, but it’ll make it easier to emphasize my point without getting my hands dirty.”

Suddenly Blaine wanted off. He knew the reprehending tone in Julian’s voice all too well. Whatever he wanted to say wasn’t something Blaine should take lightly, and he was determined to make sure he didn’t.

“Julian I-”

“Shut up,” Julian snapped, spinning the wheel faster. “I haven’t been very impressed with the way you’ve been treating me, Blaine. In fact I haven’t been impressed at all. I had hoped you got the message earlier today when I made you skip so you could follow me around all day like a lap dog, but seeing how you’ve haven’t apologized yet I realize it’s going to take a lot more than putting you on the backburner for a few hours for you to get the point.”

Blaine drew his knees to his chest in an effort to calm his flaring stomach. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he groaned.

“Don’t you?” Julian yelled, spinning the carousel swiftly. Everything began to blur into a smudge of black and grey, making Blaine’s head spin in the opposite direction the whiskey was swaying him. “You may not have said it, but I know you felt it when you asked to take a role in my project, to do something other than follow me around while I worked. I had barely acknowledged you existed until then, concentrating only on my camera and ignoring you whenever you spoke.”

Yes, Blaine knew what he was talking about, but he didn’t understand. The faster Julian spun him the more dislocated he felt from his body. His brain rolled around freely inside his skull, the fluid in his ears breaking against it in ruthlessly whenever it lolled too close.

“Stop Jules,” he pleaded. “Whatever I did, I’m sorry, okay? Just let me off!”

“Let me spell it out for you,” Julian shouted, his voice radiating through the night. “When you woke up this morning what did you have planned for the day?”

“I-I don’t know,” Blaine tightened his grip on the rusted bars as the wheel spun faster, his fingers stinging from the bitter wind.

“Yes, you do! What were your plans for the day?”

Bile burned at Blaine’s throat. He squeezed his eyes closed in an attempt to keep the vertigo at bay, but somehow that only made it worse. “I don’t know,” he shouted. “Go to school! Be with my friends! Homework-” If Blaine could think of anything else he sure as hell couldn’t say it. The alcohol came flooding up this throat and it took all the strength he had to swallow it back down.

“Tell me then, Blaine. Did it bother you to drop everything just to be with someone, only to find you’ve been forgotten in lieu of something else?”

***
Just a perfect day
You made me forget myself
I thought I was someone else
Someone good
***

The realization was like a slap across Blaine’s face. Kurt. This was about Kurt. How could he have been so stupid? Julian hadn’t accepted Kurt at all. The only reason he made him skip school today was to shove it down his throat. And it was working.

Julian stopped the carousel with a jerk. The sudden stillness made Blaine’s insides lurch. He rolled onto his knees and clutched the wheel desperately, hanging his head off the side for air. The wheel whined under Julian’s weight when he stepped on and crossed over to Blaine, kneeling at his side.

“Throw up,” he demanded.

Maybe it was the faint breeze on the back of his neck or maybe it was simply because Julian voiced what his body had been screaming for him to do, but either way Blaine became acutely aware of the way his head hung loosely in the air; causing him to feel like he was still spinning long after he stopped. He should throw up, needed to throw up, but in his twisted logic to do so would to admit he was wrong.

“Throw up and I’ll let you lie down.”

Yes, that’s what he wanted- to lie down. To have some sort of stability to anchor him back into his own. He tried to tell Julian that was all he needed but somewhere along the line his voice box had twisted itself around his tongue, distorting his words into a sickly moan. Julian ran his fingers through Blaine’s hair, pulling his bangs away from his forehead. The simple act was like opening the floodgates to a dam, forcing Blaine’s stomach to unscrew itself onto the ground below his palms.

When he finished Julian let his hair fall to his face.

“Spit,” he ordered.

Blaine breathed deeply, a thin spool of saliva and bile dangling from his lips. “Fuck you,” he panted.

In one swift movement Julian threw him on his back and straddled him at the waist. The action alone was enough to make him gasp, but it was the swift sting of the back of Julian’s hand that took his breath away.

“You think I don’t know how this feels,” Julian shouted, grasping Blaine’s jaw in his steely grip and bringing his face to his. “My head spun when I found out about him! The look in your eyes made me sick! Everything you’re feeling right now is exactly how I felt the other night!”

“I-I’m sorry…” Blaine’s voice came out as barely a whisper.

“Are you? So what, you expect�me�to apologize now for making you feel as sick and confused as I did, huh? Is that it?” Julian shouted, tightening his grip on Blaine’s jaw.

“No,” Blaine mouthed the word noiselessly a few times before he managed to spit it out.

“No? And why’s that, huh? Why shouldn’t I apologize for fucking with you?”

Blaine swallowed hard, fighting to keep his voice from shaking.

“Because I… Because I deserved it.”

He didn’t say it because he thought that was what Julian wanted to hear; he said it because he believed it. He deserved anything Julian decided to do to him, because he was right; Blaine was in the wrong. He should have told Julian about Kurt the second he called, but some selfish part of him didn’t want to, and look where that landed him.

Selfish.

Blaine almost forgot.

He wasn’t allowed to be selfish when it came to Julian.

Three grueling minutes passed while Julian scanned his face. Blaine felt his insides collapse in on themselves. Julian made him feel so small when he got like this. It scared him more than anything, how disposable his body became under his grip; like he could shatter him in an instant.

When Julian decided Blaine meant what he said he cocked his head to the side and ran a thumb over the cheek he struck.

“Look at what you make me do to you,” he whispered, resting his forehead against Blaine’s. �“After all this time you’d think you’d learn. You didn’t think I’d let you off the hook that easy now, did you? Hiding someone like Kurt from me? If he meant so much to you, shouldn’t you have told me about him straight away, instead of keeping me in the dark like that? Instead of making me look like a fool?”

Blaine avoided his eyes, but that didn’t make his words sting any less.

“You used to tell me everything, Blaine. I had to make sure you understood how much that hurt me.”

“I’m so sorry,” Blaine whispered, his voice cracking in shame. “I never meant to hurt you.”

“Come here.” Julian wrapped his arms around him and rubbed soothing circles across his back. “God, you’re shaking. It’s okay, I’m not going to strike you again. Wanna sing a song, hmm? It used to calm you down all the time. I’ll start and you join it when you’re ready. Oh it’s such a perfect day, I’m glad I spent it with you.”

Blaine squeezed his eyes shut and clung tightly to Julian’s coat, willing himself not to cry. He hadn’t done so six years; he sure as hell wasn’t going to start now.

“Oh such a perfect day, you just keep me hanging on...”

Julian shook Blaine’s shoulder gently. Blaine didn’t feel much like singing, but he also didn’t want to hurt Julian’s feelings again.

“You just keep me hanging on.” he echoed.

“Good boy,” Julian smiled. “Look Blaine, I want you to be open with me again. No more secrets, no more hiding, complete honesty, okay?”

Blaine nodded his head against his chest to show he understood.

“I’m just worried about you. I know I have a crappy way of showing it, but it’s the truth,” Julian chuckled a little and rested his head against Blaine’s. “I don’t know who this Kurt kid is, but you seem to care about him a lot. I just want to be sure he’s good enough for you; that he won’t hurt you.”

“Kurt would never hurt me,” Blaine muttered.

“How can you be so sure?”

He hesitated for a second before responding, “Because we love each other.”

“Which makes it that much easier for him to hurt you. Look, I’m not doubting his feelings for you, but if you got hurt because of him I’d never be able to forgive myself for not seeing it coming. Just… put my mind at ease and help me understand him, okay? I want to know everything. What makes him tick, how he works. Will you do that for me?”

“But why-”

“It doesn’t matter why, all that matters is that I’m trying, right? Look, I’m not saying knowing about him will make me like him, but it’ll make me feel better knowing what kind of person holds your heart. You want me to feel better about this, don’t you?”

Blaine didn’t quite understand where Julian was coming from, but he must have had a reason for saying all of this. He always did have Blaine’s best intentions at heart; it would be silly to think something as important as love wouldn’t be one of them.

“W-What do you want to know?”

***
You’re going to reap just what you sow
***

Until now the flood of worried texts and missed phone calls wasn’t what worried Blaine about skipping school. It wasn’t that he’d missed out on a boatload of work, skipped Warbler practice, or even that he’d ruined the new pea coat Kurt got him as an early Christmas present. No, until now Blaine didn’t have any regrets about spending all day with Julian.

Then again, until now his father hadn’t been standing before him, belt in hand.

***
You’re going to reap just what you sow
***