Part 2: Chapter 1- Coming Clean

Kurt and Quinn were the new power couple in McKinley High. As Quinn predicted, Kurt was now looked at in envy rather than in hatred and more often than not hadthe beautiful blond cheerleader draped around his arm. Blaine sat with them at lunch while Quinn would laugh loudly at Kurt's snarky comments or jokes. It wasn't that he didn't like Quinn being around...he just didn't like that she had what he couldn't have.

Kurt went along, though it was obvious that Quinn was more invested in the relationship than he was. He was a totally different person around Quinn than he was when they were at Blaine or Kurt's house hanging out. Kurt never ignored Blaine, always including him in their plans if Quinn would agree to it. 

After about three months, just before Christmas break, Kurt sat in his room after a very big date with Quinn.

She kissed him.

It was his first kiss. He had read books about charactars getting their first kiss and feeling sparks, fireworks, all sorts of crazy emotions.

He felt nothing.

As he sat in his room, he thought about going to Blaine's and talking to him about it, but the thoughts in his head seemed to devoid him of his motor skills. It wasn't a foreign thought. It was one that had been plaguing him since childhood. 

He wanted to like Quinn. She was very beautiful and very popular. She was funny and smart and really seemed to like Kurt. For some reason, Kurt's body resisted her advances. Tonight was the first time he actually gave in and let her kiss him. She had tried on several occasions to do it, but he was hesitant because of the thoughts that would scream out in his mind when she did. The thoughts about what Blaine would say...

Always about Blaine.

That's what scared Kurt the most. Why, when he was about to kiss a beautiful girl, was he thinking of Blaine?

Kurt slumped back onto his pillow and rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hands. His head was starting to hurt from all the buzzing in his brain. He remembered asking Blaine how he knew he was gay...the answer always stuck with him. 

'I just know'.

Kurt didn't. Kurt couldn't honestly say that he just knew one way or the other. 

The window slid open and a cold gust of air followed by a few flurries of snow drifted in and Blaine slid into the window and shut it quickly.

"Shit, it's freezing."

"Quinn kissed me."

Kurt just blurted it out. He didn't think before he spoke. Blaine froze in the action of pulling off his jacket.

"We were in the driveway at her house and she just leaned over and kissed me..." Kurt stammered. "...And I didn't feel a thing."

Blaine furrowed his eyebrow. "Nothing?"

Kurt shook his head.

Blaine slid off his jacket and sat down next to Kurt up by the headboard. "That sucks... maybe she's just not the one for you."

"Blaine...I wanna try something," Kurt closed his eyes and fought the twisting in his stomach.

"Um...ok," Blaine shifted on the bed. 

"Kiss me."

Blaine's stomach dropped into his feet. This had to be a dream. He was gonna wake up in his own cum and it would all be a dream.

"Do it before I change my mind," Kurt kept his eyes closed. Blaine swallowed and hesitated only for a moment before he slowly and gently pressed his lips to Kurt's.

Kurt didn't react. Not immediately.

When their lips met, his brain shorted out. It wasn't as if he could ignore the fact that it was a boy- let alone Blaine- kissing him. Blaine's smell was all around him. The slight stubble on his chin and upper lip scratched against him. When Kurt's brain finally caught up, he noticed the tingling in his fingers and toes, the warm burst in his chest, the increasing blood flow to his lap. 

Then, he reacted.

Kurt reached up and gripped the collar of Blaine's sweater in both hands, pulling him closer and deeper into the kiss. Blaine made a muffled sound like a moan and fought to keep his hands to himself. All he wanted was to pull Kurt close and run his hands over his strong back and arms, but thought better of it. What if Kurt realized what he was doing and punched the shit out of him?

After a moment, Kurt finally let go, pulling back slowly and cracking his eyes open. Blaine did the same and their eyes met- two pairs of darkened eyes staring into each other's searching for something that they couldn't find. Fear, doubt and anger. All were mysteriously absent.

"Wow," Blaine muttered, his warm breath ghosting Kurt's wet lips and making goosebumps spread over Kurt's arms.

"Blaine...kiss me again."

This time, Blaine didn't feel the need to keep his hands to himself. He cupped Kurt's cheek and kissed him again. Kurt slid closer to him, letting their hips touch and sides to meet. Warm body was meeting warm body and both boys were starting to get into it. Blaine tenativly grazed Kurt's bottom lip with his tongue and Kurt pulled away a little.

"S-sorry," Blaine said breathlessly. "It's just...Kurt, do you know how long I've wanted this?"

Kurt furrowed his brow. "What?"

"To kiss you," Blaine's eyes were darting between Kurt's and Kurt's lips. "I'm sorry, but I couldn't help it. And I know this is all really sudden and crazy, but I've liked you since... God, I don't even know how long..."

Kurt looked a little shocked, hand slipping down from Blaine's collar a little. "You like me?"

Blaine bit his lip and let go of Kurt's cheek. "Yeah..."

Kurt sat back against his headboard to take it all in. "You never said-"

"What was I supposed to say, Kurt? I thought you were straight."

"Never said I wasn't," Kurt muttered. Blaine looked at him.

"You just asked me to kiss you...twice..."

"I don't know what I am, ok? All I know is that I've never felt like this before...maybe you should just go home..."

Blaine's warm heart started to slowly freeze up. "Kurt-"

"Just go, ok?" Kurt's voice shook. He ran his hands through his soft brown hair and drew his knees up to his chest. Blaine felt the tears burning his eyes, but refused to let Kurt see. He threw his jacket back on and climbed hurridly out the window. When he was finally in his room, he fell down on his bed and cried himself weak.

Kurt wasn't at school the next day.

Or the next.

Blaine sat in the cafeteria nibbling on a sandwich- the most he had eaten since the kiss. If he thought his feelings for Kurt were bad before, now they were raging and fighting in his chest, beating his heart to a pulp.

Quinn flounced into the cafeteria, clearly on a mission. When her eyes rested on Blaine, he decided he was it.

She stalked over, her cheerleading skirt bouncing around her knees and ponytail swinging behind her head. "Where's Kurt?"

'Blaine swallowed. "I guess he's been sick."

His dad said he doesn't wanna talk to me. I keep calling their house, but he says Kurt's not up for talking to anyone right now. You're his best friend...is he ok?"

She seemed concerned, but her gait didn't really speak it. It was uppity, just like her personality, Blaine observed.

"I haven't seen him either...I don't know," he mumbled and stuffed his half-eaten sandwich back in the wrapper to stand up and throw it away.

"What's going on with you two? You have all these little secrets and things that I don't get to know about," Quinn stood up with him and approached him, her tiny body overshadowed by her presence.

"Nothing, ok? We're friends...just friends," he turned away as he felt the lump rise in his throat. Practically running out of the cafeteria he headed to the locker room and slammed the door hard, quickly making sure no one was in there with him before he let out a frustrated growl and punched the punching bag hanging from the ceiling. It felt good, so he decided to pull off his jacket and hastily tape his hands. He needed to put all of this unrequetted love somewhere.

Blaine lay on his back later that night, absently massaging his bruised knuckles. He had punched that bag so hard and for so long, he missed his afternoon classes and frayed the tape. The bloody knuckles only slightly masked his true pain.

His mom and dad were downstairs arguing about him. It was always about him.

Jeanette had come up a while before to bring him a sandwich, which he refused, and now John was complaining that she was babying him, turning him into a sissy.

It had been that way for about an hour and all he wanted to do was crawl out the window and run to Kurt's, but even gazing out his window at Kurt's house hurt. Kurt didn't want to see him. He doubted if he would ever talk to him again. Blaine did know one thing though-

He was definitely gay.

The scent of Kurt still lingered on his senses- masculine and pungent like freshly cut timber. The feeling of his strong jaw beneath his hand still ghosted his palm. He wanted it again. He wanted Kurt. 

Hours seemed to pass. John had barged out of the house and driven off to the bar. Jeanette hadn't made a peep. He figured he ought to go check on her. Blaine rolled out of his bed and walked downstairs slowly.

"Momma?" he called to her. A sniffle led him to the kitchen where he found her sitting at the table with a steaming mug of tea and tear tracks on her beautiful olive skin.

"Momma..." Blaine said sympathetically and pulled up a chair next to her. She tried to brush the tears away quickly, but Blaine just wrapped his arms around her shoulder and rested his head on her shoulder. She relaxed and let him hold her. She didn't cry anymore, but he could tell she was miserable.

"Why don't you just kick him out?" he finally broke the silence, his voice hoarse from lack of use.

"I can't," she said brokenly. "He only gets this way when he's been drinking, Blaine."

"He's always drinking," he let her go and stood up. "Not to mention he beats the shit out of me."

"Language, Blaine Michael," she scolded him. He sighed and met her eyes- his eyes. 

"Sorry...Kurt's mad at me..."

Jeanette looked concerned. "What happened?"

Blaine felt compelled to talk about it. He didn't know how she would react. Knowing that your only son was gay probably wouldn't help her current state.

"Just...things I don't really wanna talk about right now."

"Is that why you've been so closed off?"

"Yes...and no... Momma, I really-"

"What's wrong, Blainey?" she stood up, calling him by his pet name from years before. He couldn't help the ache in his chest from hearing it. 

"You'll hate me," he mumbled and ducked his head. Jeanette wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him close, her fingers tangling in his soft curls.

"I could never hate you, sweetheart. You're still my baby, even though I feel like I don't even know you anymore...you've been so quiet and reserved these past couple of years...I just want to know what I can do to make it better..."

Blaine blinked, letting tears slide down his face onto her soft cloth shoulder. "You can't fix this, Momma."

Jeanette let him go, looking at him at arm's length with a look of pure sadness. "Blaine...please..."

Blaine couldn't lie anymore. It would probably cost him everything- the only mother he has...the only person in this house that didn't make him feel like a failure...the only person he seemed to have left- but the fear in her eyes was almost as heartbreaking as Kurt's rejection.

"Momma...I'm in love with someone."

Jeanette seemed to perk up a little. "Honey...is that all?"

"I-it's Kurt..."

Her amused relief disappeared quickly. She kept a firm grip on his shoulders, almost deathly. He never wavered his gaze, keeping his eyes trained on her face.

"Sweetie...maybe you've just become...such good friends that-"

"Mother," he said brokenly, cutting her off. He never called her mother- not when it was something good. Only when they argued or he was having a bad day. Now he was using it to reaffirm his statement. He was in love with a boy. She couldn't justify it by making excuses for him. Jeanette dropped her arms to her side limply and sat back in the chair, her eyes lost and searching for something that could explain.

They were quiet, Blaine waiting on bated breath for her to answer him. To damn him to Hell or slap him or throw him out onto the street and sick his father on him.

"It's a sin, Blaine."

Her voice wasn't cold or angry, simply stating what she thought was a fact.

"For him, Momma...for him I'd face eternal damnation..."

Jeanette finally looked at him since his confession. She must have been searching for something- devil horns or for him to burst into flames in her kitchen- but when she realized that it was still her baby standing there- still the same sweet, kind little boy she rocked to sleep, cleaned up after a hard day of play, comforted after his father had an outburst- she found herself standing in front of him, her hand cupping his cheek.

"Do you still love me, Momma?"

Jeanette's heart broke. She kissed his forehead and held him tight to her chest, still not used to the feeling of muscle and strength over his shoulders and back. He didn't know what it meant at first. He wanted to hug her back and hold on to the hope that it didn't matter who he loved. 

"Blaine...there is nothing in this world that could stop me from loving you," she cried against his curls. He sighed and wrapped his arms around her waist, letting the built up wall of tears go and sobbing uncontrollably, mumbling 'thank you, Momma, thank you' on repeat into her shoulder. She tried to shush him but she could tell he needed to let go.

"I'm right here, baby boy...it's gonna be ok," she sat down, bringing him with her. He sat on the floor and buried his face into her skirt while she stroked his curls comfortingly.

"He hates me, Momma. I don't know what to do to fix it...I don't even care if he loves me or not...I just miss him..."

Jeanette sighed shakily and nudged him to sit up and look at her. She took the corner of her skirt and wiped his face like she did when he was little. "Is Kurt...?"

Blaine sniffed and swallowed. "He...he asked me to kiss him...and I did...then he told me to leave. I'm not sure anymore..."

A knock, barely registerable, came at the door. Jeanette stood up slowly and made herself presentable before answering the door.

"Hi, Mrs. Anderson...is Blaine home?"