His pulse was racing, his vision was a scorching haze of red, his brows intently furrowed in frustration; his eyes, however, betrayed him, for they were filled with hurt and disappointment, rejection and fear.
He felt as if his heart had been torn in two, the other half forgotten in Kurt’s car, probably halfway back to Lima.

This storm of thoughts, combined with the booze pumping through his bloodstream, made Blaine’s head a very confusing place.

Very painful, yet puzzling.

His thoughts were everywhere. Nothing made sense.
Reason crashed into doubt which bumped into lust which knocked into anger.

Burying his face in his hands, Blaine started to replay the moments of an hour ago in his head.

“Come on, big boy, let’s get you in the car and safely home. Your parents don’t need more of an excuse to not like me.” Kurt said with a chuckle as his guided Blaine towards the car.

Slinging an arm around Kurt, Blaine nuzzled into his boyfriend’s neck. “What are you talking about, m-my parents LOVE YOU. They looooovee you, Kurtie. I looooooove you, Kurtie. I love your face and your hair and your tight jeans. Weeee!” a drunken Blaine slurred.

Kurt giggled at the sight of his intoxicated boyfriend. “C’mon, get in the back seat.”

With one hand, Kurt unlocked his car and gently placed his tiny boyfriend into the backseat of the car.

“Okay? You can lie down if you want because I kn-“ Kurt started to say when suddenly, he was pulled towards Blaine’s face.

Blaine’s eyes were set intently upon Kurt’s, his gaze unwavering. “You look so beautiful, Kurt. I- I just wanna be with you, I want to kiss you and hold you and… and….” Blaine trailed off, closing the gap between his and Kurt’s lips.

To say the kiss was passionate was an understatement. Both Blaine and Kurt knew that this kiss was different from the ones they had shared before. Not because Blaine was drunk and Kurt was slightly slap happy. Not at all.

Because this kiss was laced with desire and hunger and want. It was everything that they had been tiptoeing around for the past couple of months.

After a few seconds, Blaine deepened the kiss, his hands all over Kurt’s porcelain skin. Kurt paused for a few seconds, pulling away from the kiss, only to reposition them in a more comfortable position. Blaine now lying down with Kurt on top of them, breathing turned into moaning and soft caresses into passionate rubbing.

With uncertainty and want, Blaine lowered his hands, down from Kurt’s chest, further down onto his torso. They trailed down, searching for more, until they stopped right above the waistband of Kurt’s jeans.

High off of the moment and too drunk to care, Blaine dipped his fingers into the waistband of Kurt’s jeans.
Almost automatically, Kurt started to pull away from the kiss. Blaine continued to reach lower, almost at the stop he was aiming to reach, when Kurt pulled away all together.

“What are you doing?” Kurt asked, anger and something else Blaine couldn’t decipher burning in his baby blue eyes.

“I-I just want you. I want you now. C’mon, don’t be like this,” Blaine groaned, reaching again for Kurt.
“Are you insane? What it wrong with you?” Kurt asked, his face flushed with emotion.

“What’ s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you? I thought you’d want this!” yelled Blaine, all feelings of lust replaced with rage and confusion.

“What-I-don’t you…I don’t know what I want, Blaine. I’ve never felt this way before, never felt lust or…or anything remotely close to it.”Kurt croaked, his words laced with vulnerability. “I’m not going to… lose my…my virginity in the back of my car with my drunk boyfriend! What kind of person do you take me for? First I catch you…dancing with other guys, and now you want a quickie? You won’t even remember this tomorrow!” Kurt said, his voice shaking.
Blaine pushed Kurt off of him and got out of the car. He looked at Kurt with a stare so intense, so…fierce, that Kurt had to force himself to stare back.

“ Dancing with other…Kurt, what the hell are you talking about?!” Blaine yelled, swaying back and forth.
“You know damn well what I’m talking about,” Kurt said, his tone uncompromising.

Blaine rubbed his temples in an attempt to soothe his throbbing head. “You know what? Fine, Kurt, have it your way. I’m sorry. Sorry for trying to be spontaneous and fun!” Blaine screamed as he turned away and stormed off in the other direction.

“Blaine! Blaine!!Where are you going?! I’m your ride home! Blaine!” Kurt shouted behind Blaine.
“I’ll figure it out,” Blaine mumbled to himself, ignoring Kurt’s calls.

“FINE! Have it your way!” Kurt shouted.
Kurt walked to the front seat of his car, the slam of the door making Blaine flinch. After a few minutes, he heard the squeal of the brakes as Kurt drove away.

“That’ll be 10 bucks, kid. Kid?” came a voice out of nowhere.

Soon enough, Blaine was brought back to reality, his mind taken out from the nightmare of the past.

“Wh-what?” Blaine asked in his drunken and confused state.
The cab driver looked at Blaine with disdain. “I said, we’re here, and the fare is 10 bucks.”

Blaine shook his head and reached for his wallet. He threw the taxi driver a 20 and bolted out of the car before he had time to make change.

Blaine fumbled with his keys for a few minutes until he opened the lock and got inside his house. Going straight for his room, he collapsed onto his bed, his exhaustion from the whole night finally making itself known.

He rolled over to his side, his eyes wide open. His eyes wandered onto his nightstand, where a framed picture of him and Kurt, arm in arm, rested.

He couldn’t take it. It was as if Kurt’s smile was glaring at him, mocking his very existence. He grabbed the frame and slammed it facedown onto his nightstand. Not because he didn’t like looking at Kurt’s face.

Because it hurt too much.

Blaine rolled onto his back, looking up at the glow in the dark stars on his ceiling.

He didn’t get it. He just wanted Kurt in every way possible.

Sure, kissing was nice. Great, actually. But it wasn’t enough. Not anymore.

And he knew Kurt wanted this as bad as he did. He was just scared… scared of feeling these things he had never felt before.

Blaine was scared, too. This was all so new. So vivid, so raw. He didn’t know how to control this.
All he knew is that he loved Kurt and he needed Kurt and what was wrong with that?

Absolutely nothing.

Blaine groaned in frustration, his hands reaching up to cover his eyes. What was he supposed to do?
What is someone supposed to do when you love someone so much? When you put your heart and your soul and your everything out there, only to have it pushed away?
Blaine didn’t know, and he prayed that the next morning would bring the answers.

His eyes slowly began to close, lids heavy with fatigue. His breathing became slower and more even until, eventually, he fell into a deep sleep. Deep, but not peaceful.

He dreamt that he was back inside of that bar, dancing by himself. He saw Kurt on the other side, and so naturally, he started to walk over to be with him. But he kept losing him, the crowd swallowing him and making him disappear. Blaine shouted for him, but the music was too loud. Shoving past the crowds, Blaine yelled for Kurt, his calls becoming desperate.

After what seemed like hours of searching, Blaine finally spotted Kurt towards the entrance of the bar. Kurt was opening the door and getting out. Blaine ran behind him, not caring who he pushed or whose drinks he spilled in the process.

Blaine shoved open the door and went outside. The cold air hit him like a slap in the face, his eyes watering with the biting wind.

He finally caught up to Kurt, grabbing him by the shoulders and spinning him around.

“Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you all night!” Blaine said, relief washing over him.

Kurt stared at Blaine with an odd expression. “Um, who are you, and why are your filthy paws all over my McQueen?”

“Kurt, what are you talking about, it’s me, Blaine! Your boyfriend?” said Blaine, his voice filled with worry.

“Aha! You wish. Listen, Blake, I neither know you nor care to know you. So goodnight.” Kurt said scathingly as he removed himself from Blaine’s grip and walked away to his car.

“Kurt…” Blaine whispered, not believing what was going on.
As the headlight turned on and the engine revved, Kurt backed up and began to drive away from the parking lot.

Not taking the time to think, Blaine started running after the car, adrenaline coursing through his veins.

“KURT! Stop! Wait!” he yelled, his throat raw.

And then, in the blink of an eye, the car was gone.
Vanished.

Blaine froze where he was. Where had he gone? Why was this all happening?

Hearing the sound of a blaring horn, Blaine turned around only to be blinded by the headlights of Kurt’s car, coming at him at full speed.

Blaine woke up screaming into his pillow, clutching his sheets and panting.

He checked the clock on his nightstand, only to see that it was 8 o clock in the morning. With the realization that he had only been asleep for a couple of hours came the awareness of the splitting headache he had.

His heartbeat calming down, Blaine rested his head back onto the pillow.

What a nightmare.

It was as if Kurt was this unattainable ghost, this being that would run away every time Blaine tried to get closer.

The ache in Blaine’s heart reminded him that that was true. Kurt was getting farther away from him

No. No, Blaine wouldn’t let this happen. Couldn’t. He wouldn’t let one stupid fight, one drunken squabble come between his and the love of his life. He would fix this.

But how?

Blaine’s thoughts were interrupted by a buzzing in his back pocket.

Who could be texting him this early in the morning?

His heart skipped a beat when he read the screen.

1 New Text Message.

…from Kurt.

His heart raced, unsure of whether to read it or not. What if it was Kurt demanding to break up with him?
What if it wasn't?

Without giving himself time to chicken out, Blaine opened the message and read it.

Come over to my place at 8 tonight. We need to talk.

Blaine didn’t know that it was humanly possible for his heart to be beating this fast. It felt as if his stomach had sunk down into his body.

What should he do? What should he say? A million answers whizzed around in his head, becoming an indecipherable blur.

He looked around, hoping to find something that would give him an answer.

Suddenly, the clouds parted outside and the sun began to peek out. Rays of sunshine flowed through Blaine's window.

Which did not help his unwavering hangover. Ow.

It had woken him up, however.

And so, ith shaking hands, Blaine sent his reply.