He couldn't believe it. Couldn't believe that five minutes ago his heart was beating with anticipation, his cheeks flush with lust, his being complete. Now, all he felt was...emptiness.

Anger. Sadness. Frustration. But most of all, he felt scared.
Scared of the unknown. Of things that he had never felt before, things he thought it would take years for him to feel.

Nothing scared him more than that.
It's not like he didn't want to...move on to the next level with Blaine. Because, God, he did. But not like this. Not in the back seat of his car, like some half drunk slut.

He wanted romance, passion, perfection.

He wanted love.

But it was getting harder and harder to wait for that moment. He felt as if he was this bag, filled with feelings and urges and indescribable emotions, that was bursting at the seams. One touch, one movement, and he would explode.
His mind raced so rapidly and immensely with all these thoughts that he forgot he was still in the parking lot of the bar.

With a heavy heart, Kurt turned the key of his car and pulled away from the parking lot.

He drove with numbness, his body on autopilot.

Lights and trees and streets soon all became a blur, a backdrop to his state of despair.

Finally, he reached a red light. Stepping on the brakes, his car came to an abrupt halt.
With nothing to keep his mind off of Blaine, Kurt noticed how loud all this silence was. He noticed that his lips still tingled from his heated encounter. The smell of Blaine's cologne lingered on his clothes, was soaked into his very being.
Seconds seemed like hours, and he found that the silence was too much. All this thinking was too much.

He checked his phone for the seventeenth time that hour, hope still present in his heart.
Nothing.

Not one message. Not one missed call.

Kurt stared at his screen, willing a text or call to appear. He stared and stared until his eyes began to water, not only from the glare, but from the hurt in his heart.

Where was he? Was he okay? What if he was lost...or worse...hurt?

Kurt's mind raced with all these thoughts.

What if he doesn't love me anymore?

Kurt couldn't handle this. He couldn't sit there and let his thoughts draw him into a spiraling depression. He sighed and let his head hit the headrest. He closed his eyes and took a deep, cleansing, breath.

Okay, so what was the major problem at hand here?
Sex.

Well, not sex itself. That wasn't the issue. Because, God, he wanted it. He wanted Blaine. But he just wanted this all to be special.
Think, Hummel, he told himself. How can you fix this mess?
He stared at the numbers on the radio. 4:15. It was getting late.

Almost automatically, his hand reached for the radio. Maybe some music would help him figure this all out.

Kurt let his hearing drift toward the pounding beat coming from the speakers.

...you met me, I was alright but things were kind of heavy...
Oh, how funny. Now it just seemed like fate was out to get him. The corners of his mouth turned up slightly at the memory of the song. It seemed like a lifetime ago. A time when feelings were hidden and everything was just …confusing.

Kind of like now.

Let's go all the way tonight. No regrets, just love.

No regrets. Just love.

And then it hit him.

It was as if the clouds had parted, the rain had subsided. It was all so clear and so very obvious, now.

It all made sense.
He knew what he had to do.