­­Blaine threw up twice on his way to the apartment. He thanked the small bakery owner a block away from Kurt's for letting him use the bathroom.  As he finished brushing his teeth in the sink he stared at himself in the mirror.  Maybe he didn’t have to tell Kurt, well at least not tonight. They could just enjoy the surprise of him being in New York. Maybe Kurt wouldn't notice how pale he looked or how his smile would be plastered on this whole trip. He was leaving tomorrow night, he could get through this.


But he knew Kurt and Kurt knew him. He wouldn't be able to just act like everything was okay without Kurt taking some sort of notice. Blaine sighed and braced his hands on either side of the sink. Someone banged on the door making Blaine realize he had probably been in here longer than acceptable and that upon his exiting he would gain a numerous amount of stares.


This was it, he would see Kurt for the first time in person in a long time. He left the bakery avoiding eye contact with most of the patrons. As he walked down the street, he ignored the harassing homeless people and tried to turn his head away from a possible drug deal in the alley next to the apartment. He reminded himself to thank Kurt for warning him about the neighborhood beforehand.



He finally reached the apartment and knocked. Thoughts rushed to his head as he heard footsteps. It had been a month and a half nearly two since he had seen Kurt. Would he look the same? That was ridiculous, he had just Skyped Kurt... the other day? Or was it last week? It clearly couldn’t have been two weeks had it? He couldn't remember the last time he had seen Kurt's face besides the pictures at his locker. His stomach turned and he tried to ignore it. He put the large bouquet in front of his face as he heard the door slide open.


Without even looking he knew Kurt's footsteps.  He automatically smiled and his heart fluttered. He couldn't wait to wrap his arms around him and kiss him and...


"Surprise! ”was all he could say as he peeked out from the roses.


"Blaine!" Kurt wrapped his arms around him. "This is amazing. I wasn't expecting you for another two weeks."


"I know.  I just missed you too much." Blaine said and he really meant it, he HAD missed Kurt every day since he left.  He kissed Kurt firmly, although it was rudely interrupted by Rachel. But in that short kiss Blaine felt his world spin. His lips met Kurt's eager ones and it was like the first time they kissed all over again, Blaine wanted more immediately.


But Rachel hugged him and asked him questions and Finn was there too but in all honesty that part was a blur to Blaine, he wanted to get Kurt alone and kiss him and hug him and just BE with him. There was something about going to a piano bar but Blaine didn’t care he wanted nothing more than to be with Kurt.

Just being in his presence was making his chest tight. He couldn't help but advert his eyes down as he watched Kurt walk into the kitchen to put his flowers in a base.

Rachel must have caught his eyes because she elbowed Finn and told him to come to her "room" to change so they could leave. Finn looked hesitant but he went anyway, Blaine stood up from the couch and walked into the kitchen. He stood near the stove as he watched Kurt organize the flowers.


“Aw, they are so beautiful Blaine." Kurt said smiling. "You've never got me this many before. It’s too much actually, just you being here in enough."  He turned his face to Blaine, as he did his own fell.


"What's wrong? Are you tired? We could stay here. But the piano bar is really cool. We could just go for a little and leave."


Blaine hadn’t realized his face read concern. "No!" He protested. "I'm fine, let’s go out I want to just be with you."

Kurt smiled and kissed him. His kisses were still eager and innocent. Guilt swelled in Blaine, he wondered if Kurt noticed someone else had kissed him only hours before.


The thought made him pull away fast. Hurt flashed across Kurt's face momentarily. "What's wrong? Has it been too long...?"


More guilt ran through Blaine. "No! Of course not! I just…"


"Okay guys, are you ready?" Rachel said into the kitchen. Finn looked quiet and distant which wasn't usually like him. He would normally be sickeningly all over Rachel. Maybe it was the distance they had over the past couple of months. Blaine knew firsthand how distance hurt.


Time past as they ended up at the piano bar, Callbacks and Kurt only asked once if Blaine was okay. After Rachel and her classmate Brody sang, Blaine volunteered himself to sing. Before he made it to the piano, Kurt grabbed his hand and whispered, “I love you most." All Blaine manage to say was “Me too”. His memories rang back to saying goodbye to Kurt at the airport before he left uttering those same words, "I love you most."

He introduced himself and looked at Kurt smiling in the audience; he was ear to ear, so proud, and so happy.
As he sat at the piano and started singing, he knew he couldn't do this. He wouldn't make it through the whole performance. So he just sang and every note he played hurt and every time he glanced at Kurt he couldn't hold his gaze for longer than a second without guilt swelling in him.



Finally it was over and he took his seat next to Kurt who didn’t say anything but he was stiff. He saw Kurt watch him from the corner of his eye. Every one praised Blaine telling him how well he did even though it was clear his performance had made them uncomfortable at best.


Kurt finally turned to him and smiled that smile that didn’t reach his eyes. Blaine hated that smile. "That was good." Was all Kurt said he placed his hand on top of Blaine's and turned back to the next performer who Blaine knew he wasn't as interested in as he seemed to be.


They walked through the park later that night, Rachel and Finn ahead of them. On any other date they would have held hands and stayed close. Blaine would have stolen kisses or even better with them in New York kissed Kurt in public. Instead they fell into step and walked but they weren't "together". Kurt kept fidgeting as he walked with Blaine. He noticed Blaine's mood and questioned him.


Blaine made up an excuse, telling Kurt he missed him which he honestly did. Finally Kurt turned to him, "Please stop pretending there's nothing wrong."


Blaine swore his heart stopped, he couldn't form a clear or logical thought so the words just came.


"I was with someone."