“Falling slowly, eyes that know me

And I can't go back”

‘It’s freaking cold!’

That was the primary thought running through Kurt Hummel’s head as he fumbled with the key in his hand. His fingers had only been exposed to the bitter air for a couple of minutes and they were already numb and red. Winter was a pretty season, he thought, but not when it was like this. This was just ridiculous. Not to mention the damage the air was going to do to his perfectly moisturized skin. All he wanted was to open the damn door, but for some reason the key would not cooperate. Fumbling and poor motor skills were Blaine’s department not his, thought Kurt, laughing bitterly to himself, not sure whether it was from the joke, or the shock that his sub-conscious thought it was okay to joke about it at all. When he finally managed to get the key to fit, he let out an audible sigh and quickly entered the large Victorian style house, shutting the door against the cold behind him.

The house was completely silent. Even though Kurt knew he was always welcome at the Anderson’s, he still couldn’t help but to feel as if he was required to maintain the silence by some unwritten rule. It’s not that Blaine’s house was uninviting, or that his parents were the kind of people who believed that it was more important for their living room to look like a catalogue than a home. In fact, Kurt adored Blaine’s parents, and had spent many evenings laughing and chatting with them, the sounds of cooking food and Blaine’s groans as they teased him filling the rooms with life. Blaine’s house was just… Kurt didn’t even know the right word to describe it. It was just a rich person’s house. No matter how nicely decorated it was, it was too big to seem like anything other than a museum- especially when all five floors and thirty or so rooms were inhabited by a grand total of three people.

Kurt tiptoed down the hall, listening for any sounds hinting to Blaine’s whereabouts. Slowly he made his way upwards, eventually reaching the top floor. Originally, it had been the servants quarters, however it had long ago been converted to a regular part of the house. Now, it was pretty much Blaine’s own private loft. The door on the left of the staircase was the playroom. Once home to Blaine’s tea-sets and action figures, it now housed an extremely large TV, couches and an air hockey table, as well as Blaine’s guitar and a piano, for when Blaine didn’t want to go down to the living room to use the grand piano. (Kurt had scoffed a little, too, when Blaine had first explained the logic behind owning two pianos.) The door on the right was a storage space/Blaine’s self-made guest bedroom… If you called two air mattresses with permanent bedding a guest bedroom, which Kurt did not. The door immediately in front of the staircase was Blaine’s own bedroom.

Kurt slowly pushed the door open, and stepped into Blaine’s room. It was Kurt’s favorite room of the house, because it looked like, as David had once described it, “someone had taken Blaine’s mojo and painted the walls it.” It was painted blue and white, however only the observant eye would even be able to tell, as the walls were practically hidden by pictures: photos of Blaine and the Warblers, of Blaine as a child, Blaine and his rugby team, Blaine and family, Blaine playing guitar, and of course, lots and lots of pictures of Blaine and Kurt.

 Kurt took none of this in though, because the silence had finally been broken. By the sounds of Blaine’s pitiful moans.

Kurt’s heart wrenched at the sound, but he knew better than to rush to his boyfriend’s side, and instead walked cautiously towards the bathroom. “Blaine?”

“Go away Kurt.” Blaine’s voice empty and emotionless.

“Blaine, we’ve already been over this. You’re not going to scare me away.” Kurt slowly, stepped into the bathroom. 

Blaine was lying on his back, arms spread out limply by his sides. His hair was stuck to his forehead, which gleamed with a sheer layer of sweat. His face was pale, but two spots of color could be seen on his cheeks, meaning that he had just been sick.

“I said go… the fuck… away.” The words were icy, and laced with anger. Blaine didn’t even bother looking in Kurt’s direction, and continued staring blankly at the ceiling.

Kurt took a deep breath, reminded himself how bitchy he could be when he had a measly little hangover, and that Blaine didn’t mean it. Instead he went and sat by Blaine’s head. “The doctors warned us that the new medicine would have some pretty bad side-effects.”

“Well no fucking shit, Sherlock, you think I didn’t notice? ‘Cause I thought me puking my guts out all morning was just some bad food I ate last night. Oh wait... I didn’t eat anything last night, because my head was pounding so much that I couldn’t do anything except lie on the couch and try not to pass—” Blaine suddenly sat up and lurched towards the toilet, groaning as his entire body heaved, trying to force something out of his empty stomach. It seemed to go on forever, and when he was finally done, Blaine literally fell backwards, collapsing from exhaustion. Kurt caught him before his head could hit the floor, and slowly rested Blaine’s shaking body against his chest. 

“Shhh sweetie, I’m right here okay? I love you so, so much and you’re so brave and strong and beautiful and I’m never going to let you go,” Kurt whispered soothingly in Blaine’s ear as Blaine panted, trying to catch his breath. Eventually, his body stopped shaking and his shallow breathing evened out. He would still let out the occasional moan, and Kurt sat there gently tracing his finger up and down his arm, wishing he could take away the pain that was clearly still overwhelming his best friend’s body. They sat there until Kurt lost track of the minutes that had gone by, and the sweat on Blaine’s body had cooled, leaving him damp and clammy.

“Hey, Kurt?” Blaine’s voice was weak, and it sounded almost as if he were breathing out the words instead of saying them.

“Yeah?”

“I can’t remember if I said something mean to you… But if I did, I’m sorry.”

“Shhhh, it’s okay, baby,” Kurt murmured, pressing a soft kiss against the weaker boy’s temple. This was the worst Kurt had seen Blaine in a long time. 

“And Kurt?”

“Hmm?” 

“I love you.”

Kurt didn’t say anything, but kept pressing gentle kisses all along his boyfriend’s head and neck, until he started to feel him going limp with sleep.

When he was sure that Blaine wouldn’t wake up, he slid out from under him and walked over to Blaine’s bed, pulling the blanket off and grabbing the pillows. He gathered them into his arms and carried them back to the bathroom, covering Blaine with the blanket. He sat back down, and lifted Blaine’s head so it was resting on his thigh.

Blaine always looked so peaceful when he slept. It was so different from the hurtful, angry Blaine who seemed to be around more and more when Blaine was awake. Blaine let out another moan, this time one of utter peace and contentment. He snuggled closer to Kurt in his sleep, who smiled at the fact that Blaine had finally stopped hurting for a little bit. Glancing at his watch, Kurt saw there were still a couple of hours before Blaine’s parents came home and the inevitable arguments about eating dinner would begin. Kurt hated siding against Blaine, but he knew that his boyfriend could be too stubborn for his own good.

Who would’ve thought that they would be here? Who would’ve imagined this would be their life?

Kurt lay in bed, contemplating how much had changed in such a short amount of time. Blaine’s parents had long gone from intimidating and people to try to impress. Now they were people Kurt confided in when Blaine became too much for Kurt and he needed some support. School had fallen to the wayside, each teacher glancing at him with such a pitying look that Kurt would rather they yelled at him every time he skipped. All of New Directions, each member hell-bent on making something of themselves, were now all more concerned about supporting each other. Kurt even believed that they were more unified than before. And then there was Blaine.

Who would’ve guessed that happily ever after was going be so far away?

Kurt stared down at his boyfriend. His beautiful, caring, adorable, intelligent boyfriend. His boyfriend- for whom he was so overwhelmed with love- that he was willing to endure all of this. The one who made the nightmare they were going through together bearable.

‘It’ll happen someday,’ Kurt thought. He wasn’t ready to give it up yet. 

Blaine was too perfect, they were too in love for it to not happen. Kurt leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on Blaine’s sleeping lips, then closed his eyes, singing under his breath to his sleeping boyfriend. The one Kurt was going to live happily every after with.

One day… Eventually.

Until then, Kurt just had to remember the moments when they thought they already had it. There were moments before they hit the iceberg that had been perfect. Then, before they even knew what was happening, they were going down, and everything was suddenly beyond their control. They were sinking, without eve knowing it.

“Take this sinking boat and point it home

We’ve still got time

Falling slowly, sing your melody

I’ll sing it loud”