Blaine stared at Kurt for a long moment, his eyes filling with tears. He swallowed roughly. He couldn’t do this. Kurt wanted out and Blaine didn’t know how to let him go. Blaine didn’t know how to survive without Kurt; not now. He couldn’t.

“Please don’t run from this, Blaine,” Kurt murmured.

Blaine inhaled shakily, trying to calm the rapid beat of his heart. He finally nodded, feeling like something in his chest cracked as he did so.

“Okay,” he whispered softly. “Let’s go home.”

*

They attempted to go home. Kurt sighed ruefully, staring at the white walls that seemed to be the staple of every hospital room he’d ever been in. He and Blaine had only made it a few feet before the pain in Kurt’s ankle had become too much for him to handle. Kurt had suggested a cab and Blaine had suggested a hospital. He’d had to be talked into it but now that they were there, Kurt was glad.

He wasn’t looking forward to his and Blaine’s discussion any more than Blaine was.
They were silent as they waited for a doctor to come and look at Kurt’s ankle. The awkwardness finally broke when the doctor arrived, asking questions about Kurt’s injury and sending him off for a series of x-rays.

Hours later, Kurt was discharged home with an ace wrap around his severely sprained ankle, a pair of crutches, and instructions to stay off his ankle for at least the next four weeks.
He wiped away the tears forming in his eyes at the news – there was no way he’d be able to continue in dance class now.

Blaine slowly walked beside him as they made their way out into the New York night, and Kurt watched as he hailed a cab. One finally pulled over and after some creative maneuvering, they managed to get inside. Blaine mumbled their address and the cab began to weave its way through the city streets. Kurt stared out the window, his head resting on the glass. There was at least a foot of space between him and Blaine in the car, but it might as well have been a mile.

*

Kurt Hummel sings at Callbacks(x)

Daltonfan

So I was out with some friends and we ended up at Callbacks (I couldn’t resist the opportunity to go there on odds that Kurt or Blaine might be there, sue me!). Sure enough, Kurt was there with some friends and Blaine eventually showed up too.

I was going to go over and say something to them (and maybe bug them for a picture, what, I’m human), but then this happened.

You guys, I think they’re breaking up. Kurt was singing this to Blaine and then afterward Blaine ran out of the bar and Kurt went after him.


Oh, God.

This actually hurts. I’m physically aching. I didn’t know that heart break actually hurt.

Please don’t let this be real.

I had to stop halfway through, I was crying too hard.

WE JUST GOT JOBY BACK AND NOW THIS?

Don’t do that; don’t make this a fandom thing. Can’t you see how much pain they’re in?

Everyone avoid the lol Klaine tag and the Andersmythe tag

Too late, I think I’m going to be sick.

#not them #not my babies #they were supposed to get married and have babies and love each other forever


*

Blaine followed Kurt into the apartment, watching to make sure he didn’t slip and fall thanks to the water on their shoes from the soggy New York streets. Snow had started falling sometime while they were in the hospital and had coated the ground in powdery white flakes.

“Hang on,” Blaine murmured; he left Kurt at the door, moving to the bathroom quickly. He came back with a couple of hand towels, setting one down near the door for their shoes. He used the other to wipe up the water from the floor and to dry off the ends of the crutches, with Kurt’s help.

Finally Blaine stood, eyes meeting Kurt’s for the first time in what felt like hours.

“Sit down, Blaine,” Kurt whispered and Blaine let out a huge sigh before nodding.

This was it.

*

Kurt let Blaine get him settled on the couch, his foot elevated on a few throw pillows, even if it meant delaying their conversation just a little longer.

He wasn’t looking forward to it any more than Blaine seemed to be.

Kurt had had no idea that this would feel like he was ripping his heart of out of his chest. He didn’t want things between him and Blaine to end but Kurt didn’t know what else to do. He couldn’t take the way it was between them anymore.

Blaine sat down in the arm chair next to the sofa and Kurt glanced at him. Blaine was staring at his hands.

“Blaine,” Kurt said softly. Blaine’s head jerked up, his eyes wide and full of emotion. Kurt nearly groaned. He couldn’t handle it when Blaine looked at him that way.

“Are we breaking up?” Blaine asked, his voice low and thick.

“I… I don’t know,” Kurt answered honestly. He knew it wasn’t what Blaine would want to hear, but he was tired; tired of tiptoeing around their issues, tired of school and tired because he’d just spent the last six hours in the hospital. “I love you,” Kurt continued. “That hasn’t changed, Blaine.”

“Why did you sing that song then?” Blaine’s eyes pleaded with him and Kurt had to look away for a moment.

“Because this isn’t working,” Kurt told him quietly. “You know it isn’t.”

“The thought of not waking up next to you is killing me,” Blaine whispered and Kurt had to take a deep breath at the deep ache that moved through his chest at Blaine’s words.

“Me either,” Kurt admitted. “I don’t want to break up, Blaine. I just don’t know what else to do,” he paused, trying to keep himself together. “I really don’t want to leave.”

“Don’t you? Because right now it sounds like you’ve given up. You’ve already decided that there’s no chance to save this.” Blaine accused. “You say you love me – and I believe you Kurt, I do – but then you say ‘we’re not working.’ I thought…”

Blaine trailed off for a second, clearly gathering his thoughts. “I thought we were worth fighting for. Do you want to be with me? Or do you want to be free to be with someone, anyone else, because circumstances have changed between us?” He stared at Kurt and Kurt felt like shriveling under Blaine’s gaze.

“If you really want this to work, Kurt, you have to fight for us.” By then end of his speech, Blaine’s voice had taken on a determined edge, if slightly cutting. Kurt had taught him well.

Kurt couldn’t help but scoff. “That’s rich, coming from you,” he snapped.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Blaine asked, sounding a little angry.

“It means you run away from your problems, Blaine. You always have,” Kurt replied. “You couldn’t handle your father, so you ran to LA. You couldn’t handle Cooper, so you ran to a bottle. And now you’re telling me to fight for us when all you’ve done is run away from me. You even ran from Callbacks tonight.”

“I haven’t,” Blaine denied. “Not from you. Never you.”

“Blaine,” Kurt sighed. “You have, for months now. I feel like I don’t even know you anymore.”

“So you’re saying this is all my fault?” Blaine stood up, his face and voice full of anguish. “Because you’re not perfect either, you know.”

“I never said I was!” Kurt exclaimed.

“You’re never here, Kurt,” Blaine continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “You’re always off with Adam, ‘rehearsing.’” Blaine used his fingers to make air quotations on the last word and Kurt tried to sit up in his anger.

“There is nothing between me and Adam!” Kurt hissed. “God, do you really think I could do that to you? Especially after everything we’ve been through?”

“Of course you wouldn’t cheat,” Blaine said after a moment, and Kurt let out a breath. “But maybe… maybe you want him and not me anymore.” Blaine sighed.

“Blaine, how could you possibly think I would want someone else?”

“Because everyone else does!” Blaine shouted, and Kurt jumped, startled by the boom of his voice. “The fans want James and the public wants the ever smiling, super polite Blaine Anderson. My own dad wanted a straight son!” Blaine stood up, and Kurt watched as he began to pace around their living room. “You’re the only one who’s wanted me for me. But now,” Blaine’s voice cracked, “I don’t even know if that’s true anymore.”

Kurt’s heart broke at Blaine’s anguish.

“After Thanksgiving, it seemed like you just kept siding with my parents, with Cooper. God Kurt, I wanted to be hurt and selfish and petty for once.” He paused, looking at Kurt as if expecting him to interrupt. “Okay, yeah, I wallowed for a bit. I mean, I get told I have a brother whom my father has been comparing me to my whole life, even if I didn’t know Cooper existed, and suddenly I’m just supposed to play happy family?”

Kurt took the opportunity to jump in. “I didn’t side with anyone, Blaine! You weren’t talking me, as usual. You were always gone or silent when we were home.”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry, okay? I messed up; I know I messed up, but Kurt – who is Cooper?”

“What?” Kurt was struck dumb by the question. He was still upset, anger and hurt thrumming underneath his skin and the question just doesn’t fit their conversation. “He’s… he’s your brother.”

“Yes, Kurt. My brother. My straight brother. You know what my dad is like, Kurt – you know why I ran to your house before. So think for a minute – why might I freak out after finding out I have a straight older brother who’s also an actor?”

Kurt stills. Oh, God. How had he missed that?

“Blaine, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize.” Kurt remembers quiet meals, single word answers. “But you weren’t talking to me. I can’t actually read your mind – you have to tell me.”

“When was I supposed to do that? You were never home!” Blaine practically spits at him. “You were in class or rehearsing with Adam! And I know that nothing happened but he likes you, Kurt. You can’t deny that. How do you think it made me feel, knowing you that you were willingly spending time with someone who had a crush on you?”

Kurt couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this hurt and angry. “What was I supposed to do, Blaine? It’s my education, my career. You know how much I’ve been struggling. And you’re hardly home yourself, was I supposed to sit here and twiddle my thumbs waiting around for you?”

Blaine sighed and sat back down. Kurt wished he had the luxury of getting up – pacing sounded amazing at the moment. “There are twenty other people in your dance class,” Blaine pointed out, “including Rachel. Instead you practice with the one who wishes I was out the picture.”

“He knows I’m with you!” Kurt’s scrambling now, Adam’s words from earlier swirling with Rachel’s comments in his mind. “He knows I love you Blaine; I’ve been clear that nothing will ever happen!”

As soon as he said the words, Kurt knew he they were a mistake. Blaine’s eyes went wide, shining with unshed tears.

“He asked you out.” Blaine said quietly. The words sounded like an echo – flat and broken. The room falls silent for a moment, the absence of sound almost deafening. Kurt takes a moment to regain his thoughts.

“It was today, Blaine,” Kurt told him. “I left. I told him off and I left because I love you.” Blaine’s eyes met his for a second. “Maybe I should have said something to him sooner but he talked to me, Blaine. And you weren’t talking at all.”

“So, what?” Blaine replied. “I didn’t know I was supposed to be fighting for you, Kurt.” Blaine raises his hand and shows Kurt his promise ring. “I already thought we were a sure thing.”

“I thought so to,” Kurt murmured. “But you stopped showing it. You flew across the country after I was bullied and you asked me to the prom on national radio. Since we’ve been in New York, I feel like I’m forgettable. I’m a small fish at school and then when I came home you weren’t here. You were a stranger.” Kurt swallows hard, holding in his tears.

“So you gave up?”

Kurt shrugged. “What else was I supposed to do when you pulled away from me? It’s too hard to keep trying when I get nothing back from you.”

“I don’t know, Kurt. I saw you pulling away but I didn’t know how to fix it without driving you away completely. I’m sorry,” Blaine apologized again.

“You just stopped talking to me about everything, Blaine.” Kurt said softly. “You didn’t even tell me what you’d be filming today or what happened after the Golden Globes until after I found out from the Internet.” Kurt wiped at the tears making their way down his face despite his best efforts to hold them at bay. “Why didn’t you tell me? You know how I feel about him and all of this and you kept that from me.”

“I was scared,” Blaine answered after a minute and Kurt can see the truth in his eyes. “Last time he forced a kiss on me you wouldn’t speak to me for months. You know it’s the job, I wouldn’t go near him otherwise.” Blaine took a deep breath and Kurt fought the urge to speak, letting him continue. “What was I supposed to do, Kurt? Say ‘by the way, James is gonna have sex with Toby on national TV, it sucks, but it’s the job, sorry; is chicken okay for dinner?’ I didn’t want to wreck what little time we had together by making it about him.”

“I would have understood, Blaine,” Kurt told him. “I might not have been happy about it.” Kurt paused. “Actually, I know I wouldn’t have been, but it’s your job, I get it. It’s just… when you keep stuff like this from me and then I find out on the Internet, I feel like you hid it from me on purpose and I can’t handle that.”

“I just… How did we get like this?” Blaine muttered.

“I don’t know,” Kurt answered.

They fell silent and Kurt yawned despite himself.

“I don’t think we’re going to find any answers tonight, Kurt,” Blaine said after a moment. “Why don’t we get some sleep and we’ll talk more in the morning.”

Kurt nodded, reaching for his crutches. They moved into the bedroom and went through the motions of changing clothes and settling themselves into bed. Blaine helped him get settled, bringing the pillows in from the couch to prop up his foot. Finally, they lay down, turning the lights off.

The room was quiet for a long moment and then the sound of soft sobs filled the room. The bed shook and Kurt tried to make out Blaine’s face in the dim light of the room. “Come here,” he murmured, reaching out a hand to touch Blaine’s shoulder.

“Oh, Kurt,” Blaine whispered, rolling over and then shuffling under the covers so he was next to Kurt on the bed, his head lying on Kurt’s chest. Kurt ran his fingers through Blaine’s hair instinctively, enjoying the feel of the strands between his fingers and hoping against hope that it was not the last time he’d get to do this.

*

Wow, I keep getting all of these asks about that video, my goodness.
Answers under the cut, all in one place so I don’t clog your dashes.

Anonymous asked: Did they talk at all that you saw?

Not that I saw, but it was crowded. I didn’t even know Blaine had shown up until Kurt started singing.

Anonymous asked: Was Cooper there?

Not that I saw. Finn, Rachel, and Santna were, though.

Blainesbiggestfan asked: Please tell me this is just some nasty, horrible prank.

I’m sorry but that video is real and I don’t think Kurt was joking.

Anonymous asked: If they break up, it will probably kill me.

You and me both, nonny. You and me both.

Anonymous asked: How could you post that video? That was private between Kurt and Blaine. I swear, Klaine shippers.

Oh, look, an Andersmythe shipper found my inbox. Not even gonna go there.

Anonymous asked: No, but really, you didn’t have to post that.

It happened in a public place. It’s not like I was stalking them and recorded them in their home or something. At least 50 people saw that song. It would have made it on the internet in some form or another.

Ragingdaltonfan submitted: here’s a link to another angle from someone else who was there – more close ups of Blaine’s face for us to cry over.

Oh god this hurts, make it stop.
And the ask box is closed for the night, peeps. I’m going to go cry myself to sleep now.