Jeff Asked: Oh, God. Don’t kill me. I accidentally published that last message trying to reply to you. I think someone might have seen it. They’re probably going to find your Tumblr.

“Crap,” Kurt muttered, staring at his computer screen.

“What?” Blaine asked from his spot on the bed.

“Jeff published an ask from me on Tumblr,” Kurt told him. “There’s no way they’re not going to figure out it’s me.”

“What are you going to do?” Blaine wanted to know. He got up and crossed the room, coming up behind Kurt and putting his arms around him. Kurt sighed.

“I don’t know. I could delete I guess. Or I could let them find me and go public with my blog,” he said.

“What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know,” Kurt answered. “I mean, I love hanging out on Tumblr and being part of the fans. On the other hand, I don’t want a flood of people in my ask box.”

“Why don’t you wait and see if they find you?” Blaine suggested. Kurt nodded. “Come sit with me?” Kurt narrowed his eyes, concerned. Blaine sounded nervous and Kurt wasn’t sure why.

“What’s going on, Blaine?” Kurt looked at him once they were sitting down next to each other on the bed.

“I have something to tell you,” Blaine admitted. Kurt felt his heart start to pound. He just hoped it wasn’t bad news. He couldn’t take bad news. “The higher ups at Dalton are talking about creating a spin-off.”

“What would that entail?” Kurt asked softly.

“Well,” Blaine began. “It would be loosely based around James and a couple of the guys from Dalton headed off to New York. Me, Nick, Jeff…and Sebastian,” he told Kurt. Kurt kept silent – he wasn’t thrilled about Sebastian being involved in the project, but James and Toby were one of TV’s most popular couples and Kurt couldn’t really argue with the marketing on that. “We’d be filming the pilot while on break from the show.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means I’ll be in New York at Christmas instead of here,” Blaine replied. “My dad is going to fly out and spend time with us.”

“Wow,” Kurt murmured. “So… if this gets picked up, that means you’d be in New York next year,” he said slowly. “With me.”

“Yes,” Blaine confirmed, giving him a small smile.

“Blaine, that would be… amazing,” Kurt gushed. “You and me and Rachel could get a place together and we wouldn’t have thousands of miles between us, oh, God,” he rambled, excited. “I can see it all so clearly.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, Kurt,” Blaine interrupted. “It might not get picked up… and it if it does, it might not do well.”

“Blaine, come on,” Kurt protested. “Let me be a little excited.”

Blaine smiled at him and then took a deep breath. “There’s one other thing,” he continued, pulling out a large eight by ten brochure and handing it to Kurt.

“University of the Dramatic Arts California?” Kurt read aloud. “Blaine, what is this?”

“It’s a college brochure,” Blaine answered. “I brought it for you.”

“I don’t understand,” Kurt spoke softly, staring at Blaine.

“Just listen for a minute, okay?” Kurt nodded slowly. “If the pilot doesn’t get picked up or if it doesn’t do well and gets canceled, I’m going to end up right back here in LA,” Blaine began, “which means that we’ll be apart for possibly another four years, since I’m under contract until then.”

“I know,” Kurt whispered. “I try not to think about it.”

“So I was thinking that maybe, in addition to your New York schools, you could apply to UDACA as a backup plan.”

“You – you want me to come to California?”

“I want you with me.” Blaine let out a breath. “I-I can’t stand the thought of us being apart for another four years, Kurt. Not after being apart for so long already.”

“I don’t know what to say, Blaine,” Kurt whispered.

“Don’t say anything,” Blaine told him. “Think about it. It’s a huge decision and I know you and Rachel have all of these plans, and I… just please, think about it.”

“Okay,” Kurt promised. “I’ll think about it.”

*

It was all Kurt could think about for the next week. His Tumblr seemed safe enough and no one seemed to have figured out who he was, so Kurt breathed easy and let his college worries take the forefront of his thoughts.

He thought about it well into the night after Blaine and his mother left to go back to California. He thought about it all week while New Directions rehearsed and rehearsed, preparing for Sectionals at the end of the week. He thought about it every time he texted Blaine and Blaine replied.

Kurt scoured the brochure from front to back. It sounded like a great school – as good as NYADA. There was just one drawback – it wasn’t NYADA. He even sat down with his dad and Carole about it.

“What do you think?” Kurt asked, after explaining.

“Sweetie, it doesn’t matter what we think,” Carole began. “What matters is whether or not this is something you want to do.”

“Dad?” Kurt prodded.

“I’m with Carole on this,” Burt replied. “But logically, it would make some sense to have a few extra back up schools. It couldn’t hurt to apply and keep your options open.”

“That’s true,” Kurt agreed. “What do I say to Rachel?”

“I don’t think you’d need to say anything until you have to make a decision,” Carol said. “You might not even go. You might not even get in, though with your talents, I’m sure you will.”

Kurt smiled at her. “Thanks.”

“Can I just say one thing?” Burt spoke up. Kurt looked at him.

“Sure,” Kurt’s voice was soft. His father looked serious and Kurt wasn’t sure he wanted to hear what his father was going to tell him.

“Don’t do this unless it’s something you really want to do. Don’t pin your whole future on another boy,” Burt said. “You’re young. I know you and Blaine love each other and he’s had to grow up fast and you feel like adults.”

“What are you trying to say, Dad?”

“I’m sayin’ that you might think you and Blaine are forever and maybe you are, but don’t just do this for him. It’s your life, Kurt. If you and Blaine are meant to be, you’ll find a way to make it work no matter where you go to school.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Kurt murmured. “I’m going to go call Blaine.”

Kurt headed upstairs, his mind churning. Sectionals were in the morning and normally he’d be freaking out about it. He even had a solo to freak out over, as part of New Directions’ Michael Jackson tribute. Instead, his head was filled with pros and cons and what did he really want to do with his life.

He’d had no idea growing up was going to be so hard.

*

“Hi,” Kurt greeted Blaine quietly when Blaine joined him on Skype.

“Hi,” Blaine replied. “I didn’t think I’d hear from you tonight with Sectionals tomorrow.”

“I’ve made some decisions,” Kurt said. “I wanted you to know.”

He watched as Blaine visibly tensed. “About college?”

“About college,” Kurt confirmed. “I’ve thought about it all week. I’ve made lists. I talked to my parents.”

“And?” Blaine asked, hope in his voice.

“I’ve decided to keep my options open.” Kurt smiled. “I’m going to apply to UDACA.”

Blaine grinned. “Thank you.”

“Don’t get too excited,” Kurt gave Blaine the same warning Blaine had given him. “I don’t know if I’ll get in and even if I don’t, I can’t say I’m going to go. I’ve wanted New York since I can remember.”

“I know that,” Blaine murmured, his voice cracking a little. “The fact that you would even consider it – Kurt, you have no idea how much that means to me.”

“I think I do,” Kurt whispered. “I better get to bed; it’s a big day tomorrow.”

“I wish I could be there,” Blaine told him.

“I’ll have someone record it for you,” Kurt promised. Blaine nodded. “I love you.”

“I love you,” Blaine replied. “So much, Kurt.”

“I know.” Kurt smiled. “Good night.”

“Night,” Blaine said. “Break a leg tomorrow.”

Kurt disconnected from Skype and leaned back in his chair. He’d fill out the UDACA application after Sectionals and put it in the mail.

He bit his lip as he got up and headed to his vanity for his moisturizing routine. Now he just had to worry about what would happen if he got in.