Kurt had crawled straight to bed upon getting home. When his father got home from work a few hours later he came in and woke Kurt up to check if he was sick, but he insisted he was just tired.

            "Did you eat lunch at school?"

            "No. I wasn't hungry."

            "Well you weren't hungry this morning either. You wanna tell me what's up?" Burt asked, sitting down at the foot of Kurt's bed.

            "Nothing is up, Dad."

            "Like hell it's not. That Karofsky comes back from his suspension and the next day you're acting like a manic depressive? That's not nothing. Did he do something to you?"

            "I don't want to talk about it. I'm just tired," he rolled to his other side.

            "If he did something then I'm going in to see the Principal. You shouldn't have to be being intimidated at your own school."

            "It's nothing, Dad, just leave it alone."

            "Now, Kurt-"

            "I just don't want to talk about it!" Kurt said a lot more loudly than he'd meant to. He squeezed his eyes shut and they felt like they were burning.

            Burt nodded and touched his son's leg through the sheets. He hadn't even changed out of his clothes from school. Kurt had always been meticulous, never one to wear anything but silky pajamas to bed, and never to lie down without having undergone proper skin care. It had always seemed silly to Burt, but in its absence it broke his heart to see his son this way. "Alright. We don't have to talk about it right now. Instead, I'm gonna order some take-out, you're going to take a hot shower, and you're gonna meet me downstairs in one hour for some dinner. Okay? Then we'll watch that movie you were telling me about. What's it called? The one about the woman and her mom?"

             Kurt turned and looked at his father. "Gypsy?"

            "Yeah. Gypsy," he patted Kurt's leg. "I'll see you downstairs in an hour and we'll watch that."

            Kurt turned away again, "What about Carole and Finn?"

            Burt stood up and walked around the side of the bed so he could see Kurt's face. It was mostly buried in the pillow, but his cheeks were redder than usual. "Carole's taking Finn out for some mother-son time. We've got the house to ourselves, so let's make the most of it and watch the goddamn musical. Father-son bonding!" He bent down and kissed Kurt's cheek. "Come on. Get up. I'll order that vegetable-thing-dish you like. One for me too. Gotta watch my heart..."

            Kurt waited till Burt was out the door, then he smiled. He was so lucky to have his dad. So, so lucky. He got up, skipped the shower but did the skin care routine he'd missed last night, then went downstairs.

            Wednesday morning he woke up feeling somewhat better. Spending time with his dad had cheered him up, even if Gypsy had turned out to not be at all Burt's thing. Kurt hadn't realized how hungry he'd been until he started eating. Just having food in his system calmed him down considerably. He still didn't feel great, but he went through his normal routines Tuesday night and Wednesday morning, including a decent breakfast and a coordinated outfit that flattered his tastes and his figure without being too flashy or complicated. He felt better, but he still wasn't sure what to do about Blaine.

            At school he went out of his way to apologize to all his friends for blowing up at them the day before, catching Tina and Mercedes before classes since they were who he was closest to and they hadn't at all deserve to be yelled at like that. They insisted they understood. Rachel had enough classes with him that he slipped her a note, and Finn he lived with. He'd apologize to Finn later with brownies or something. The rest of the club he gave his apologies to when it came their turn to escort him between classes. Most of them acted the same as the girls, saying they'd understood that he was upset. Santana just told him he should be sorry and dropped it, and Puck gave him an incredibly subtle nudge with his elbow and a half smile. Kurt was grateful he had such good friends to be patient with him and walk him to class. He definitely didn't feel like the service was unnecessary anymore.

            Through the day he tried not to be upset and appear worried, although around lunchtime a text came from Blaine that just read, I can't wait to see you. Be standing on the stage, I'll find my way there. After that, his heartbeat was considerably quicker and he kept catching himself chewing on the inside of his cheek or biting the edges of his nails raw. They were in desperate need of an emery board by the end of the day.

            "So, can I stay after with you? Just to make sure everything goes well?" Rachel asked excitedly after their last class together. Kurt frowned and shook his head.

            "I don't need a chaperone for this. Karofsky won't be seen dead on the stage."

            Tina caught up to them. "So is Blaine planning something special? Is that why you're meeting here? I mean, it is the last week before Christmas..."

            Kurt realized he'd forgotten to bring Blaine's present with him to school. There wasn't really time to run back home. His heart dropped down and bounced on his diaphragm.

            "Yes! And everything is still set up from my Christmas song for Finn. It's all snowy and magical. I told them to leave it there so you could have some atmosphere. I call it ‘Rachel Berry's Wonderland Spectacular!"

            "You look great, Kurt," Tina cut in. "He won't be able to take his eyes off of you! I'm so glad you two are together. Next year we need to start having double dates," she smiled at him.

            "I don't even know if we are dating," Kurt said as they rounded a corner together.

            "It sounded like it after last week," she tried.

            "Yeah, but I don't know anymore," Kurt cut her off, then turned away from both girls and took the hall down to the auditorium. They stopped to watch him go.

            "I wish I knew what was wrong," Tina said, frowning at Rachel. "Oh! Hey Mike!" and she was gone.

            Rachel, on the other hand, turned on her heel and made straight for the auditorium balcony.

            Kurt stood in the middle of the stage and looked at his phone a few times, mulling over Blaine's last text. "I can't wait to see you..." Would he still want to see him if he knew that Kurt had been violently defiled only two days earlier? He tried to think of how he could break what had happened to Blaine without sounding pathetic or mean or pushing him away. After a few moments of just standing at the front of center stage, he walked over to the piano, sat down, and tested out some chords. Then he settled himself squarely in front of it, concert style. There was a melody he'd been singing in his head all morning that he knew by heart and he fell into it.

            "Turn around..." he started, then paused, enjoying the acoustics of the auditorium and how great they made his voice sound. Up above, Rachel was leaning against the balcony ledge in the dark to listen to him. She'd come in very quietly so he wouldn't know she was there. He started the introduction again and then began to sing Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart" to himself, substituting the subsequent "Turn Around" lines with an added duet part on the piano.

            Rachel pulled out her camera phone and zoomed in as far as she could on Kurt playing, then hit record. She smiled to herself. This wasn't evil, this was just waiting for Finn to finish weight lifting and helping out her best friend.

            Over halfway through the song, the last bridge drowned out the sound of a stage door opening and Blaine slipping in. He took a deep breath and stood calmly at the door, loving the sound of Kurt's voice and enjoying his careful piano playing. There was so much passion behind each word. "Once upon a time I was falling in love, now I'm only falling apart. Nothing I can do, a total eclipse of the heart..." He'd clearly just missed a wonderful concert. He stepped forward till he was at the edge of the curtain to listen to the rest. He couldn't quite see more than the top of Kurt's head, and he watched how it bobbed to the rhythm all the way through the final piano chords. The song ended and then there was a terrible note as Kurt face planted the middle range keys. Blaine smiled and stepped forward onto the stage.

            "That was beautiful," Blaine said, trying not to sound sarcastic due to the nature of the final note. Rachel's head shot below the edge of the balcony rail to hide. She hit ‘save' on her phone. Kurt's head shot up at the same time and he stood quickly, almost knocking over the piano bench.

            "Hey!" he said, trying to act nonchalant, steadying the bench and shoving his hands into his pockets.

            "Private concert?" Blaine asked. He was holding a cordless boombox in one hand.

            "No! No. Just...practicing," Kurt said, turning red. Blaine had gotten there a lot quicker than he'd expected. He hadn't anticipated him coming for at least another ten minutes.

            "Well I'm glad you're warmed up. Also the stage looks gorgeous. Is this, ah, winter wonderland for a Christmas concert?"

            Kurt frowned and moved as gracefully as possible around the side of the piano so there wouldn't be an obvious barrier between them. Blaine looked as gorgeous as he always did. He was in his Dalton blazer as usual, but this time there was a festive sprig of holly pinned to one lapel. "No, the stage is just... Rachel Berry... Glad I'm warmed up for what?"

            Blaine walked over to the piano and set the boombox on top of it. "Well, I thought that if you wouldn't mind, I need you to practice something with me." Kurt's eyebrows shot up. "I got a gig singing ‘Baby It's Cold Outside' at the King's Island Christmas Spectacular!" he smiled.

            Kurt laughed and then cleared his throat, "Ah! Congratulations! And a personal favorite as well. I suppose you couldn't get any Warblers to sing it with you?"

            Blaine cocked his head to the side and sucked in his lips, then said, "Actually, I just wanted to sing it with you...you know? Before I have to go sing it with some girl."

            A hot blush spread it's over Kurt's face and through his smile. "Wanted to sing it with you" he'd said. He tried not to sigh happily.

            "So? You gonna help me out here?" Blaine asked.

            Kurt couldn't make himself remember a reason not to. Blaine's dark hair and dark uniform against the white winterland scene that adorned the stage made him stand out brilliantly. Despite the warm air and the smell of sawdust, the romantic atmosphere made it feel like a scene from a classic Christmas special, like White Christmas right at the end. "Sure. Of course!"

            Rachel clamored back up to peer over the balcony and set up her phone on the ledge. Kurt Hummel would thank her later. She hit ‘record' again.

Blaine very casually reached over and hit ‘play' on the boombox without taking his eyes off Kurt, he took a few steps toward center stage and spun to the first few chords. As the verse came in, he held out a hand, offering Kurt the first line.

            In the back of his mind Kurt was thinking, "You don't know what's happened. I don't want to hurt you." He looked deep into Blaine's eyes and sang, "I really can't stay..."

            From there he let the performance take over. It's easy to be coy and evasive when unsure  and afraid is exactly how you're feeling. He led the cat-and-mouse chase around the stage, in and out of Rachel's holiday decorations, around the piano, pulling his hand away from Blaine's after every touch from those warm, strong hands, dancing off just when Blaine got close and he could feel the soft breath against his skin. "Damn, this would be so romantic," he realized, when for a moment they both sat on the piano bench and their shoulders touched. Blaine played a few notes on the piano keys along to the recorded music and then smiled at Kurt. Every muscle and nerve in Kurt's body was screaming at him to just plant one so hard on Blaine's grinning lips, but he stood and walked around to the other side of the piano to the line, "I've gotta get home..." He was sure Blaine didn't feel the same way, or if he did... he wouldn't. Kurt wanted to keep his emotional distance.

            Blaine just kept thinking, "My god, he's amazing. Is this too much? Would it be inappropriate if I leaned into him? Would it be bad to just kiss him right now?" He knew it would. Every time he got close Kurt would glance down or away and then turn and dance off around the stage. "This is not sexual frustration. This is just a song." Blaine kept reminding himself, trying to keep his hands to himself, trying not to break eye contact more often than necessary.

            The song ended finding them sitting side by side with their legs dangling off the front of the stage. Blaine looked over at Kurt, and Kurt looked back and they both smiled, then looked away.

            "I think you sound perfect. You're ready" Kurt said, encouragingly.

Blaine nudged Kurt's shoulder with his own and stared down at his own feet. "I was following your lead." He looked over hopefully, but Kurt had turned to look toward the other side of the stage, away from Blaine. "Sorry. That was forward."

"No, no..." Kurt trailed off absently.

Blaine waited a moment in the silence while Kurt tried to crane his neck so he was facing farther and farther from Blaine, then he asked, "What's wrong?"

Kurt stood up and brushed himself off. "Nothing. You know, at your gig, you're going to be amazing. When is it?" he asked without looking over at all. Up in the balcony, Rachel was still recording.

"It's this weekend, just before I leave." Blaine reached up a hand to get Kurt's attention, hoping to pull Kurt down, but instead Kurt pulled him up. They stood facing each other. Kurt looked beautiful as always, but there was something off in his eyes, like the life was gone. He knew exactly how this would play out in a stage production. He'd reach out and cup Kurt's cheek in his hand, looking deep into his bright eyes. A single tear would fall down Kurt's face as he leaned into the palm. Blaine would speak a few sweet words to him, something ridiculously cheesy like, "I'm here for you" or "Never fear!" He'd step right up to Kurt so their bodies were aligned and he'd kiss him softly, lips just brushing and fires igniting in their hearts. Kurt would press in and kiss him back through a sob and then rest his head on Blaine's shoulder. He'd stroke the boy's hair and ask him to tell him what was wrong, and then, after a bit of recap, he'd go and avenge all of Kurt's fears... whatever they were, and assuming they needed avenging. Then they'd meet again in a romantic scene lined with flowers and satin and make sweet passionate love... Instead he was standing there like an idiot. The most he could make his body do was to reach up and gently touch Kurt's elbow. "What's wrong, Kurt?"

Kurt smiled. "Nothing's wrong. I don't know if I'll be able to see you perform, but maybe I'll try to go, you know, to support you..."

Blaine touched his other elbow and Kurt looked up. It sunk in deep that Kurt actually wanted to see Blaine sing. He wanted Kurt to hear him. He wanted to see that gorgeous face in the crowd. More than that, he wanted to be sharing a stage with this boy, singing "Baby it's Cold Outside" they way they'd sung it only moments before with their voices harmonizing perfectly and their eyes meeting with a healthy amount of tension. He wanted people to cheer for them and see Kurt's face light up how it had on the stage at Sectionals. Blaine wanted to share that kind of moment with him. But if Kurt didn't want the same, or if something was bothering him that Blaine couldn't fix... "Kurt... I know we haven't known each other very long, and I may be out of my league..."

"What?" Kurt asked in a gasp. His heart was beating faster. He was the one who felt out of his league. Blaine's face was so close and he smelled amazing, a soft men's cologne smell, maybe from the gel, and also something slightly sweet, maybe a breath mint. It was dizzying. He wished he could bury his nose in Blaine's neck.

Blaine continued, "But if something's wrong, if something happened, you know you can talk about it with me."

Rachel leaned over the balcony. Their voices were lowered so far that even with the perfect acoustics it was hard for her to hear more than a murmur of what they said.

Kurt's eyes went wide. He shook his head and slowly stepped backwards, several steps away. So that was it. One of Kurt's friends had probably gotten to him. Someone must have asked Blaine to spy for them. "No. Nothing's wrong," he said. "I think... I think I just need to go."

Blaine's arms fell to his side and he looked away and sighed. Kurt turned on his heel to leave.

"Could you text it to me then?" Blaine asked loudly. Kurt had reached the edge of the stage, but he stopped and turned around.

"What?"

"You know... so you don't have to say it out loud... whatever it is. Just text it to me."

Kurt couldn't hold back the affectionate smirk. This was something his dad had tried once when he was young to get him to talk about being bullied for the first time. He'd handed him paper and a crayon and told him to draw a picture of it. Somehow it just made it easier when your vocal chords didn't have to work to incriminate you and your fingers could do the dirty job instead. Maybe... just because it was Christmas...

He shrugged and pulled out his phone. Blaine pulled his out at the same time.

Nothing's wrong. Good luck!

Blaine frowned at the message he'd received. Kurt turned to go again, so Blaine quickly texted back, I'm not going to judge you. I'm just worried. Please.

And then, I wouldn't ever tell anyone.

Kurt stood still with his back to Blaine for several long moments. He wanted him to know. He wanted someone to know, someone who would be safe and wouldn't get Karofsky in trouble or out him or do anything that might hurt either one of them. He wanted to have that much trust in Blaine. Slowly he texted the words, then held them for a long moment, staring at what it said. When he hit send, he turned around to stared at Blaine, waiting for the reaction.

Blaine opened his phone before the jingle could play and read, The Neanderthal kissed me.

"Kurt..." Blaine said, but Kurt looked away. His cheeks were red and his hand was running across his cheeks just below his eyes. Blaine texted back, Are you okay?

Kurt read it, and just shook his head. Of all the things to say! No "Why?" no "How" no "What the fuck?" just "Are you okay?" He wiped his eyes on his sleeve and took a long, heavy breath. Up above, Rachel wished she knew what was going on. Blaine took a step forward, but Kurt held up his phone like a warning and began to text again so he stood still.

I'm fine. It explains a lot actually. I was being careless. It was just stupid.

Blaine looked to Kurt, frowning. He felt hollow and useless. Kurt was not fine. "It's not stupid," he said, "You're not stupid. Kurt... " Kurt crossed his arms over his chest and turned away, so Blaine texted, What can I do?

And then, Kurt, you aren't fine. I want to help you. Tell me what to do.

He looked at Kurt's back pleadingly as the other boy opened, then stared at his phone, and then looked back over his shoulder. Kurt wanted Blaine to wrap him up in his arms, to tell him it was alright, to kiss away the taste of Karofsky from his lips, to beat the bully up, to avenge him, for christ's sake... They were just staring at each other. "So much for being cool," Kurt thought as he wiped another stream of tears from his face. You couldn't ask that of someone you barely knew. You couldn't ask someone to suddenly become your rock.

"Just don't tell anyone," Kurt asked aloud, angry at himself for his voice squeaking.

"Kurt... how can I not-"

Kurt just shook his head. He shook his head and he walked away. Blaine didn't know what to do. Was he supposed to run after him? For how completely crushed he felt, he barely knew Kurt. Very slowly, he sat down on the stage floor among the fake snowflakes. The room felt like it was spinning. He breathed deep and his whole body shook with the effort. So the guy... who'd been bullying Kurt... was gay?

The door that led off the stage closed. A second later Blaine's phone played a digital, piano version of the line, "Just like the white winged dove, sings a song, sounds like she's singin'..." from "Edge of Seventeen." He opened it before it could go any longer and looked at the message.

Just give me some space for a while.

He dropped his phone to his lap and dug the heel of both hands into his eyes.