Kurt had gained control of himself before Sam burst through the locker room doors yelling, "Kurt? Kurt where are you? I just saw Karofsky leaving." He had wiped his face dry, steadied his voice enough to tell Mercedes he was alright over the phone, and stood back up before Sam rounded the lockers.

            Mercedes could tell something was up, but she let him shake it off and blow off their plans because he said he wanted to go home so he could study for a pop quiz the following day.

            At home, he lay on his side on his bed for several hours. No amount of rigorous tooth brushing or face washing could remove the memory of how Karofsky's lips felt against his, and there was nothing that could take the smell of OldSpice from Kurt's mind. He doused himself in cologne, but that just smelled retched too. There was just nothing that could make it okay. Kurt felt filthy, even after two showers. He felt horrible. He couldn't bring himself to answer the texts he was receiving every couple of minutes.

            Mercedes: Call me if you need to talk. I'm worried.

            Tina: Mercedes told me something happened after school. Are you okay?

            Blaine: Did everything go okay with that bully?

            Rachel: Remember we have a pop quiz tomorrow and also need to start working on our duet for Christmas. We're still on for that, right? Also I still don't trust that Warbler. You should be chaperoned while seeing him. I'm more than happy to volunteer...

            Finn: Is something up?

            Mike: Are you okay? Tina's worried. Could you text her back?

            Mercedes: Please let me know what's up. This isn't like you.

            Blaine: Is everything okay?

            Tina: Kurt, everyone's really worried about you. Please text back.

            Blaine: Did something happen?

Artie: This is Puck. I stole Artie's phone. What happened?

            Mercedes: You need to talk to someone, Kurt. I could tell you were upset.

            Blaine: Sorry if I'm annoying you. I'll stop texting every few minutes, but I'm starting to worry.

            Rachel: I'm all filled in. I have ballet, but I can be there in 2 hours for girl talk.

            Finally Kurt just turned off his phone. He wanted to tell everyone, "Turns out Karofsky's gay! That explains a lot, doesn't it?" But it wasn't as easy as that. He'd been through this himself, and outing Karofsky, even if it seemed to make everything easier, was not the answer. It was hard enough being gay at McKinley high school, or anywhere really, without the added homophobia changing everyone's opinions about you. Outing would never be okay, not in any circumstance. The only person who had the right to tell anyone about it was Dave. But he couldn't have found a better way to tell Kurt? Kurt got up to use mouthwash again.

            It was even worse seeing Blaine's name show up on his phone now. They'd barely met over a week ago, and back then Kurt had never been kissed. Blaine was the only person Kurt knew who it would be safe to tell about what happened, because he wouldn't spread it around and he might understand, but he couldn't. Sure, it'd be perfect for them to go talk to Karofsky together and address his identity with him... But Blaine wasn't just Kurt's friend and gay confidant. They were going out. And even if they weren't, Kurt wanted to be. How could he tell this boy that a ferocious bully had taken away his first kiss from him over a sexuality crisis?

            Honestly Kurt felt like a slut. He felt raped. He knew that was exaggerating the situation, but that was what it felt like. Why had this even happened to him? Why couldn't he have just sent Sam for the stupid iPod?

            It hurt that no one knew. There was someone he could still talk to about it. He could talk to Dave Karofsky one-on-one, but the idea of that made him tremble.

            Kurt lay back down on his bed and turned his phone on again. There were around twenty more texts from the various Glee club members expressing different levels of concern. He chose the most recent one from Mercedes and replied, I'm fine. You were right. Let's not make it a big deal. Just tell everyone I'm fine.

            Next he scrolled through the texts from Blaine. I hope you're okay. Are we still on for Wednesday? was the last one. It was almost Christmas. Blaine had warned him he'd be out of town for the actual event, so Kurt had wanted to be sure to meet so he could give Blaine his present. He'd been planning something on the romantic side, like a dinner with roses so he could be sure their relationship was going in the direction he was hoping it was, but now he didn't feel like it. All he wanted was to see Blaine, even just from a distance. He didn't feel like putting in any effort right now.

            Yes, I'm fine. See you Wednesday. Kurt texted back.

            On the other end, Blaine stared at the message and then set his phone back down on his desk. It just seemed so tense, it didn't seem like things were okay. He hadn't known Kurt long enough to judge what his next move should be. Maybe Kurt just had bigger things to deal with than a clingy guy who didn't know whether or not he should be taking a hint. Almost immediately, Blaine received a phone call from another number.

            The next text Kurt received from Blaine came an hour later and it read, Can I meet you at McKinley rather than at Lima Bean on Wednesday? In the auditorium? If you're up for it, I need your help with something.

            Sure. See you there. Kurt texted. He was curious as to what had caused the change of plans, but mostly he was just becoming more and more nervous. Wednesday Finn usually had weightlifting after school, which meant Karofsky would also still be on campus. He didn't want Blaine and Karofsky to meet. He didn't want them within a hundred miles of each other. For him, Blaine was a safe zone and he wanted to keep him that way. Why had he said yes? Why couldn't he have held back on pressing ‘send' and thought things through?

            He scrolled through his playlist on the iPod that had gotten him in all this trouble in the first place. He'd thrown it across the room as soon as he'd gotten back, and luckily that hadn't broken it. He selected Lady Gaga's "Dance in the Dark," set it in the iPod dock for his speakers and pressed play. Then he threw himself on his bed and closed his eyes.

            He woke up the next day feeling miserable and looking like a wreck. His skin was dry and red and his eyes were puffy, though he didn't remember crying. After twenty minutes of staring at everything hanging in his closet, he couldn't make any two pieces of clothing look good together, so he defaulted to the easiest possible outfit and pulled on a warm, light colored sweater and dark pants. He stared at himself in the mirror for fifteen minutes before giving up entirely on his hair and puffy eyes. He grabbed a pair of sunglasses. Maybe someone would think he'd been out drinking.

School was miserable. He hadn't studied for the pop quiz and didn't know half the answers. Rachel kept looking at him and elbowing him until the teacher had come to stand in front of them and asked if there was a problem to which he tartly replied in the negative.

The day dragged on with being carted to and from class. At one point before lunch, he and Mike Chang and Artie passed Karofsky in the hallway. After a quick glance, the bully had turned like he hadn't seen them. Kurt felt sick again and stopped responding to anyone. He remained that way for the rest of the day and through Glee club.

"Are you alright, Kurt?" Schuester asked after the meeting was over. That snapped Kurt back to reality. He'd been drifting off through the reminder that they'd all be expected to perform their Christmas numbers before Friday. Even with thirteen hours of sleep to massively throw off his routine, he felt so tired. He nodded and recrossed his legs as a response.

After the club, Mercedes grabbed his hand. "What'd he do?"

"Who?"

"Who else? Dave the-bully Karofsky. What'd he do?"

Kurt looked away from her. "What do you mean? He didn't do anything. He just scared me. I'm fine."

"You're not fine. Those sunglasses clash with your shoes and you wore those pants last week."

Kurt looked down at his shoes, "They look fine."

Mercedes pulled on his arm and swung him around to face her. "That's how I know you're not okay."

"Look, I get to have bad days too, okay? It's no big deal."

"Yeah it is!" she gave his hand a shake, "You're my best friend, Kurt. It matters a lot, especially if this is about something we can prevent. You were so happy last week..."

"Thank you for your concern, Mercedes, but I'll survive one bad day." He turned from her to walk away. Everyone was eyeing him wearily as they all left Glee club together. Finn and Rachel were waiting to drive home with him. He just wanted to get back to his room and go to sleep again. Maybe he would spend some time planning what to wear so Blaine wouldn't... no. He didn't really care what Blaine thought, or what anyone thought. He just wanted to sleep. That was more important. Everyone could just think what they wanted... Kurt's head started to throb at the temples.

"Kurt!" Mercedes called, and he turned around to face her again, shifting his hips so that all his weight was on one foot. She pursed her lips at him. "Are you still going to meet up with Blaine tomorrow?"

"Yes. He's coming here, if you must know, to meet me in the auditorium."

"Oh! Romantic! Good," she caught up to him. "He seemed worried. He texted me yesterday asking about you. What are you going to wear?"

"I don't know."

"For your date, I mean."

"I don't know, Mercedes."

Rachel chimed in, "What are you guys talking about? Hopefully not doing Christmas duets, because remember, Kurt, we had ours planned since Finn declined the privilege of singing with me."

"I've been busy..." Finn reminded her, but no one was listening to him.

"No," Mercedes rolled her eyes at Rachel, "Kurt doesn't know what he's going to wear tomorrow."

"Wear what you're wearing today, man. You look fine," Finn said, trying to be supportive. Even Kurt couldn't stop himself from giving Finn a very blank Are-You-Kidding-Me? look. He tried to speed up his pace, but the girls caught up to his step and Finn fell behind, confused again. Who cared what he wore tomorrow? Clothes had always been his life and look what good that was doing him now? It was just drawing all sorts of unwanted attention upon unimportant things when the real crisis was...

"You're still meeting up with Blaine-the-Warbler tomorrow?" Rachel asked.

When Kurt didn't respond Mercedes supplied, "Yes, Blaine's meeting him here, but he doesn't know what he's going to wear."

"You're meeting here?! So he can snoop out our... No. Wait. This is perfect. We can all band together and find out once and for all what his motives really are-"

"Yeah, whatever," Mercedes cut in as they all blasted through the double doors out to the parking lot. "The real issue is that Kurt doesn't know what he's going to wear."

Tina and Mike had been making out just outside, but she turned her head when Mercedes passed, putting her emphasis on the last few words. She pulled away from Mike and fell into step with them, grabbing Kurt's hand. "Wait! Kurt, you don't know what you're going to wear to see Blaine? But we talked about it practically all Saturday night! Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine," he replied curtly. "It doesn't matter."

"Wait a second. Are you saying you aren't obsessing about what clothes you're going to wear? Are you still upset? Is this about what happened yesterday?" Rachel asked.

Finn chimed in, "Yeah! What did happen yesterday? I heard-"

"Would you all just leave me alone!" Kurt bellowed, throwing his hands up in the air and storming off toward the car. The rest of the group stopped cold.

"It must have been bad..." Tina said softly. From the car Kurt demanded to know whether or not Finn was coming and slammed the door shut after he'd slid into the passenger's seat. He pressed the back of his hand against his aching forehead. Finn jogged over to the car and got in. Rachel followed not far behind and climbed into the back seat, from which she was unusually quiet.

Kurt's hands were trembling and his gut was wrenching. It seemed like they all knew. They knew, and he wanted to tell them they were right and ask for advice, but they just had no idea how hard it was. He couldn't just say something and ruin someone else's life, not even a bully's.

Across the parking lot, Dave Karofsky was just getting into his car.