"So... there's one major event that falls between now and our inevitable win at Nationals," Kurt mentioned, the very face of nonchalance. It was Wednesday, a week later and they had been discussing the song choices for the coming competition and the fights over which member of New Directions deserved to get the solos in New York. Blaine's bandage had come off the previous day with only minor marks still apparent-Carole had done an excellent job caring for it-and Kurt was already mostly rid of the pain from his back.

            Blaine paused for a moment, then pried the lid off his coffee cup so he could dip the end of his biscotti in. "Oh?"

            "And I know it's still a long ways away, but I figured it doesn't hurt to start preparing early. Finn's already asked Rachel and been turned down brutally. I guess I'm sort of proud of her for it, but anyway..." Blaine raised his eyebrows and waited while Kurt sucked in his lips and took a deep, excited breath. "Give me your hand."

            Blaine chewed on his bite of biscotti, slid his hand across the table where it was scooped up in Kurt's. He swallowed, and asked, "Should I be concerned?"

            Kurt shook his head, looked down at their hands and took another deep breath, bouncing his knee a little. "Blaine?"

            "Yes?" Blaine chuckled.

            Kurt looked him in the eyes. "Would you go to prom with me?"

            Blaine's eyes went wide and his mouth fell open. "P-prom?"

            Kurt's face fell, he tensed, then his eyes went wide as well. "Oh. Oh! Oh my god. I'm so sorry." He dropped Blaine's hand and pulled his own back into his lap.

            "Wait. Kurt!" Blaine tried to snatch Kurt's hands back as they slid away but missed them and almost succeeded in knocking his coffee over.

            "No, I just wasn't even thinking. That was so stupid of me. Of course you wouldn't want to go. I just got excited. You know how I am about elaborate outfits and shiny fabrics. I just go all Project Runway and... Wow I'm just... I'm so sorry."

            Blaine leaned across the table, trying to coax Kurt's hand back toward his. "It's not that I don't want to go with you..."

            "No. I completely understand. It was stupid. Let's just talk about something else. It's almost warm enough to pull out the spring wardrobe already! Yay!"

            "Kurt-"

            "Lots of sewing and modifications to make, of course..."

            "Kurt," Blaine said firmly. "Kurt you know I care about you and I want to take you to things like that, it's just..."

            "I know. I know. Let's just forget about it. I shouldn't have asked," Kurt shifted in his chair, grabbed his coffee cup and took a long sip, recrossing his legs. His cheeks were growing more and more pink.

            "Kurt..." Blaine sat back in his chair. "Maybe... maybe if the therapy keeps going well. It is a long ways off..."

            "No. Don't worry about it. We'll get gussied up and go do something completely different that day. We'll go see a movie or something. We'll play it safe."

            "Give me your hand back?" Blaine asked. Kurt placed one hand stiffly in the center of the table, palm down. Blaine picked it up and turned it over. "I do want to go to your junior prom with you."

            "I know. But it's okay, we'll just-"

            Blaine cut him off, "So, my answer for you is ‘yes.' Yes, we'll go."

            "Blaine... we don't have to..."

            "I let bullies push me around and chase me away and I... I don't want you to have to do the same. We'll go. It... it'll be fun."

            Kurt sat quietly for a moment, a small smile on his face, tilting his head to gaze up at Blaine. After a while he squeezed Blaine's hand. "Blaine... I still don't know enough... or anything, about what happened... before. I mean, we haven't really talked about it since the locker incident, and I never read that file..."    

            "I know. Rachel said that you threw that away."

            Kurt frowned. "How often do you two talk? And yes. I... well. I did throw it away, in that little bin that was mostly for decoration? I stuffed all the papers in there and then..." he paused to suck in his cheeks, "And then I put it in my closet."

            "...What?"

            "Let me tell you, with that bin missing, the balance in my room has been off for weeks!"

             Blaine blinked, "So you... you still have it?"

            Kurt pulled his hand back again, letting it linger on the edge of the table. "I didn't know what to do with it. I couldn't stand to look at it; it was spread all over my bed just... waiting for me."

            "So you just--?"

            "I crumpled it up, threw it in the trashcan, and then I just... I panicked! That trashcan was just there for decoration. I put the whole thing in the back of my closet and left it there." He took another long swig of coffee and stared off at the lone barista behind the counter who was searching for something in the pocket of his apron.

            Blaine looked down at his coffee cup lid. It was flipped upside down, a ring of cold coffee around the inside lip. He scooted it with the tip of his finger till it lined up with the table edge. "You still have it..."

            Kurt took a minute, swallowing and biting his lower lip before answering. "I still have it."

            "Calm down, calm down, calm down," was playing like a mantra in Blaine's head. He hadn't known what to think about it being destroyed all week, but now that it hadn't been it felt like it had to be addressed. His therapy hadn't really gotten anywhere. He thought of the pills in the pocket of his bag. "I can still do this," he reminded himself. He looked up at Kurt, who was still avoiding his gaze and whose cheeks were warmed over with blush. "I still want to go to prom with you," Blaine insisted.

            Kurt smiled and glanced back at him, sucking in his cheeks. "You do?"

            Blaine nodded and held out his hand again, hoping he could just anchor himself, trying to dispel the images in his head of lockers and fists and the one of Kurt's face just after he hit-Kurt's hand was in his. His fingers closed around it. He leaned down and kissed the back of it.

            "I shouldn't have asked, though. You don't think I'm too rude to go with?" Kurt asked. Blaine's shoulder convulsed in a short laugh as he shook his head and frowned comically. Kurt continued, raising his eyebrows. "Or bitchy, or full of myself, or pushy, or funny looking--?"

            "Kurt!" Blaine stopped him, laughing and pulling Kurt's hand till he was close enough that he could reach across the table and cup Kurt's cheek. He couldn't hold in his incredulous smile. "What are you even talking about?"

            "I just like it when you smile," Kurt admitted softly, his eyelashes fluttered. Blaine had to seriously school his fingers to keep from reaching back, knitting them through Kurt's thick hair and pulling him forward in a fit of passion so he could take that gorgeous boy right there in the middle of the coffee shop.

            He and Kurt leaned back in their chairs at about the same time as one customer across the shop choked on her beverage. They each cleared their throats and raised their coffee cups to their lips.

            After a moment of silence in which Blaine soaked and took another bite of biscotti, Kurt spoke again. "You have therapy after this?"

            Blaine swallowed and nodded.

            Kurt moved so his foot was pressed alongside Blaine's. "Will you ask your therapist something for me?"

            Blaine tensed. "What do you want me to ask?"

            Kurt tested his words in his mind and rolled his tongue over them several times before he spoke, "If it would be okay for you and me to look at that file together."

            "...The file?"

            "Only if you want to. I won't look at it on my own," Kurt assured him. "I want it to be okayed by a professional because I don't want to go against any progress you've made," Blaine looked away, "But...  I'd like to get to know you, together. We could go slow... maybe look at one piece at a time and talk about it or something like that... you could tell me as much or as little as you're comfortable with. I just... I want to understand, Blaine. I want to know everything."

            Blaine stayed silent for a long while and Kurt just told himself to breathe. He focused on the exact feeling of the air coming in through his nose and out through his mouth, trying not to breathe so fast as to hyperventilate. When Blaine finally moved to speak, Kurt's shoulders tensed.

            "Okay."

            "Okay?"

            "We'd just... we'll go slow? Maybe stop if I get... if I can't handle--?"

            "We'll stop whenever you want. Ask first, to make sure it's not a terrible idea, because I've had those on rare occasions..."

            "You'll hold me through it?"

            Kurt's face lit bright red all at once. "...What?"

            Blaine blushed also. "Sorry, I didn't meant to... but if you'll just... if you'll hold me while we do this... I think I can do it. If it's with you... Kurt, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. So... so yes. Okay. We'll do this, and then we'll go to prom."

            Kurt let out a breath, grinning, then he pushed up from the table, walked around it, and wrapped his arms briefly around Blaine's neck. He pulled away quickly, leaving Blaine wishing he'd acted fast enough to pull Kurt into his lap when those perfect lips were sinking down into his gelled hair.

Kurt sat back down with a proud grin on his face and hummed slightly, then he took another sip of coffee and nudged Blaine's foot with his own.

            Outside the coffee shop a few hours later, as they were walking toward Kurt's car, shoulders bumping together, a car door shut around the side of the store and a figure rounded the corner. Kurt paused his step, and Blaine turned to see what it was. The figure had spotted them and paused also. Very tentatively Kurt raised a hand and waved. The guy paused, stuck his hands into the pockets of his jeans then took one out to wave back. The guy looked pointedly between the two of them, the corner of his mouth twitching.

            "Karofsky," Kurt murmured. Blaine's thoughts snapped to attention.

            "The guy who-?" he instinctively moved so that he was partly in front of Kurt and laced his fingers through his boyfriend's.

            Karofsky noticed the movement and stared at their hands, then looked Blaine up and down before looking back at Kurt. Kurt noticed Blaine's defensiveness, but he just smiled and leaned into Blaine affectionately, then waved again at the other man and nudged Blaine to keep walking.

            Karofsky nodded to himself and smiled, then picked up his step, walking more directly toward the front door of the Lima Bean.

            That Friday, after yet another friendly family dinner with Blaine in attendance and Finn sulking quietly, Kurt extracted the trash bin from the closet and set it ceremonially on the foot of his bed. Blaine was already sitting at the head of the bed with his knees to his chest, watching the bin carefully and chewing on the pad of his thumb. Kurt took Blaine's hand gently from his mouth and motioned for him to scoot.

There was a knock at the door and Burt opened it. "Kurt? Carole and I are going out to catch a movie. Finn's staying in, but he's glued to the couch. You two going to be okay?"

Kurt had explained the plan to his dad as soon as Blaine had told him it would be okay, and he'd convinced Burt and Carole to go out for the evening by insisting it would make Blaine feel more comfortable. "We'll be fine, Dad. Have a good time," Kurt said, shooing him out and closing the door. Blaine smiled and waved, but didn't otherwise move.

Kurt pulled off his shoes and his tight vest so he'd only have the thin layer of his shirt separating him from Blaine, then he pulled the bin closer to Blaine's feet, crawled onto the bed, and sat behind Blaine, straddling him. He wrapped his arms around Blaine's waist and leaning his head on his shoulder.

"Is this okay?"

Blaine hadn't expected he'd be held quite so intimately. He had a strong impulse to lean back into Kurt, all the way back so they were lying together, to kick his whole past off the bed and just be there with the boy he wanted to be with in exactly the way he wanted to be with him. He felt the intensity running down his stomach and leaned back against Kurt. "Yes."

"Comfy?" Kurt laughed as Blaine placed his hands over Kurt's and tilted his head so his nose was nestled into Kurt's neck.

"Yes." He lifted one hand up and touched Kurt's cheek, guiding it so he could kiss his boyfriend. Kurt's breath caught and his eyes were unfocused when Blaine pulled away and twisted so he could see Kurt's face.

"The papers..." Kurt reminded him, breathlessly.

Blaine pressed his lips to Kurt's again, enjoying the soft cushion of their lips pressing against each other. "Just give me a minute," he sighed, and Kurt gasped again when Blaine leaned back against him. He liked this feeling of being in Kurt's room, completely aroused and safe, and the pounding of Kurt's heartbeat and his chest against his back, rising and falling with each breath. He wanted it to be just this with no impending disaster looming in the trash bin by his feet that was threatening to fall over. One kick and he could put the whole thing off. He could say ‘no' and not have to deal with it. He could keep running away...

Kurt kissed his cheek. It was a long kiss, his nose pressing against Blaine's cheekbone and his lips lingering. When the pulled away, he shifted, and his own cheek replaced them. Blaine could feel the flutter of his eyelashes. He squeezed Kurt's arm.

"Ready?"

Blaine nodded slowly. "Which one should we start with?"

Kurt let go of Blaine with one arm and reached out with grabby fingers. Blaine pulled the bin closer so he could reach. "Do you have a preference?" Kurt asked, grasping the edge of the cylinder and settling it to the side of them.

"No," Blaine said softly. Just seeing the papers, the few words he could make out, the colors and textures of the different sheets. He knew or could guess what each one had on it. "You choose."

"Okay. We'll just do one for now."

"Then you'll keep kissing me?"

Kurt's hand was halfway raised to reach for the closest corner of a page, but his head dropped onto Blaine's shoulder in a fit of giggles and the hand dropped down to Blaine's waist, which he squeezed tightly with both his arms and his thighs.

"What?" Blaine asked, enjoying the feeling of being rocked back and forth by Kurt while he giggled beautifully.

"You're so cute," Kurt giggled. He squeezed Blaine's waist again and giggled harder, "And so thin!"

"So says you," Blaine teased, turning his head so he could kiss Kurt's temple.

Kurt pulled his head up from Blaine's shoulder in time to catch his lips. "We should sit like this more often. I like it. If I grow any more this could be really comfortable."

"Aww," Blaine kissed him again. "Short jokes? This could be a traumatizing moment for me."

Kurt smiled softly, biting his lip before landing another kiss. "And you just want me to be kissing you."

"Yes," Blaine moaned against Kurt's lips. He moved his leg, intending to flip over and maybe even risk pinning Kurt to the bed, maybe, but the bin rocked and toppled as his weight shifted. Two papers fluttered out. Kurt drew a long breath.

"Well, eeny, meeny, miney, moe!" Kurt said, grabbing one and flipping it over so they could both see.

Blaine's breath hitched. He snatched the paper out of Kurt's hand, tearing the edge, and hugged it to his chest. Kurt jumped slightly.

"Blaine..." He said softly. He waited, but Blaine just sat there, breathing deeply and clutching the paper to him. "Okay, we can start with the other one."

"No. No, you chose this one. This is fine. Maybe... Maybe I'm just not ready for this," Blaine said, peeling it away from his chest and glancing at it again, quickly so Kurt couldn't see. His hands were shaking already and everything seemed wrong. It was too fast, too harsh, too... Kurt's breath was skimming across his cheek.

"Okay. We don't have to," Kurt's voice was so soft, so grounding. Blaine leaned into him again.

"This is a medical report," he whispered. Kurt squeezed his waist again.

"When is it from?"

Blaine didn't even check. He shifted so Kurt's arms were higher up on his body. He took one of Kurt's hands and pressed it against his own heart and closed his eyes. Kurt kissed along the muscle in his neck.

"This was the second time I went to the hospital. About... like... last year or so? The psychiatric stuff started after this one." He took a breath. Kurt stayed perfectly silent, but the sound of his breath right beside Blaine's ear was comforting. He pulled the paper away, crossed his legs, and lay it on his lap. Kurt didn't reach for it. "The first time it was just getting beat up after a stupid dance. There was another guy, a friend of mine, and we didn't stand a chance. I think it was cracked ribs, bruises, broke my right collar bone. It mostly just hurt, they didn't do any real damage. I thought they were just cruel. It wasn't that scary."

"Blaine... I'm so sorry," Kurt whispered.

Blaine nodded. "But this time...it was a couple months after. Or a year after. I don't really remember when it all happened. There was a lot of taunting and teasing in between. It all runs together. Once I was Out at my old school it was just constant. There would be words painted on my locker, my stuff would go missing, people throwing stuff at me... It built up. The other guy, my friend, left right away of course."

Kurt hummed sympathetically.

"But when this happened, it was after school. The first time there were three guys, but this time there were five, maybe six. And it was just me. Um..." he turned the report over so he wouldn't have to look at it. "I think it was just... my appendix ruptured, and my spleen ruptured... I don't even... I mean, it hurt. I remember it just hurting, so much. Lots of bruises. I guess, I... I thought... I had been taking self defense by that time. I think, I thought I could fight them off. But I couldn't... I just remember being helpless and I..."

Kurt hugged him and kissed his neck, but this time Blaine leaned away.

"They just... they kind of..."

"Your heartbeat..." Kurt murmured, pressing his hand splayed against Blaine's chest like that might slow it down. He turned his head and leaned it against Blaine's shoulder so his shirt could stop up some of his tears. He hadn't meant to be crying. He hated the way he could feel Blaine's whole body shake.

"I was terrified...They... they kind of... they..." he took a breath, "And the cops just made a joke about it. Someone must have called them, but I remember lying there on the asphalt with my eyes closed because there was blood... on my face, and I didn't want to get it in my eyes... and I was crying...and the cops were just standing there. I was bleeding and they were just waiting for the paramedics and... they joked about it." His voice cracked. "Can we stop now?"

"Yes," Kurt whispered. Blaine turned the paper back over and fingered the edge of it. Kurt wanted to be able to lift Blaine up, all the way into his arms and just cradle him and wash away everything that had happened. He wanted to make it all really, completely go away. He couldn't even imagine...

Blaine was talking at a higher pitch now, sort of laughing like it was hard to get it all out. "That was... that was all before I kind of lost it. I started lashing out. I had to be forcibly removed from my old school and it wasn't... it wasn't because of that it was just they... they didn't like my attitude anymore. I was fighting back... getting paranoid..." Kurt pressed his face into Blaine's back and let himself just sob for both of them. Blaine wasn't crying. He was trembling, but he didn't cry. "Dalton's safe," he reminded Kurt.

"I love you," Kurt whispered. "Oh god, I'm so sorry, Blaine."

Very slowly, Blaine turned around. He moved all the paper and the bin off the bed and shifted them until Kurt was lying flat on his back and he could snuggle into his chest. He let Kurt curl up around him, burying his head against Blaine's hair. "Maybe we can try a less pivotal one next week," Blaine mumbled against Kurt's chest. "Like a grade report."

"We don't have to," Kurt whispered. "We don't... I'm so sorry, Blaine."

"Do you still want to know more?" Blaine asked, carefully. His hands were still trembling where they gripped at Kurt's shirt. He was getting lightheaded from short breaths, but he was determined to sound calm.

Kurt was quiet for a long time and shifted from fisting large handfuls of Blaine's clothes to stroking his arm and his hair. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah."

"Okay." Blaine breathed a sigh of relief. His eyes rolled shut and they stung from being held open for so long. Kurt was still holding him. Even if it was just pity, right now he was still there.

"Can I kiss you now?" Kurt asked, and Blaine barely even had to move before soft lips were crashing into his and wet cheeks were under his fingertips. They held each other in the perfect cadence of kissing, then broke away and lay in each other's arms, Kurt's fingers running lines up and down his back and occasionally brushing gently through his hair.

"Same time next week?" Blaine asked weakly, and Kurt nodded.

"Next week..."

"I'm sorry, Kurt."

Kurt shifted. "What?"

"I didn't want you to know. I didn't want you to be upset..." Blaine pressed into him. He felt small and helpless. He'd hurt Kurt physically already and feeling the boy's tears on his skin felt even worse.

Kurt snorted. "You idiot. You probably thought I was a big pathetic baby when I was dealing with Karofsky and getting slushies in the face. That was nothing like what you went through... I'm sorry."

            Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt. "You can't compare it like that. Bullying is bullying. I didn't think you were pathetic. I thought you were terrified. I wished I could protect you. I want to protect you. I don't want to be the bad guy."

            Kurt moved and kissed him again, long and hard, loosening the gel in his hair as his fingers ran through it.

Neither of them moved for a long time. After an hour of silence, Kurt's body relaxed and Blaine glanced up to see that he'd fallen asleep. He curled in closer, pressing his nose against the skin just above the collar of Kurt's shirt and relaxing into his lax embrace.

He woke up when Kurt's door was opened at about half past ten. Burt helped him to slide out from Kurt's warm arms without waking him, then walked him out to his car after making sure he was fine to drive and wished him a safe drive home.

He snuck into his house and lay awake on his bed until four in the morning humming softly and staring at Kurt's picture on his phone. When he finally drifted to sleep he dreamed of lying on cold asphalt and Kurt's voice drifting down from above him.