In a thousand lifetimes Kurt never believed it could be this bad. Hadn’t he already had his tragedy? Surely he deserved a few pain free years after the death of his mother. Yet things only worsened. The seemingly never ending downward spiral continued. As the kids at school grew older they realized that Kurt wasn’t contained within the boundaries that society defined as normal. It wasn’t normal for a boy to dress with as much care and precision as Kurt did. It wasn’t normal for a boy to spend as much time getting ready as Kurt did. It wasn’t normal for a boy to look that way at other boys. Therefore Kurt wasn’t normal. As the years passed, everyone learnt new slurs, new insults, and new ways to cause pain. As Kurt grew older, his outlook on the world darkened. Everyday was as dark as the night sky to him.

It was only the Glee club that kept his world from completely collapsing. He knew that everyone tried, but no matter what they just couldn’t understand what it was like to be submitted to this treatment day after day. They experienced some of the same torture, slushie facials, awful names thrown out in the crowded hallway, but it was still different. They could quit Glee club at anytime and become yet another invisible member of the school. Kurt would always stick out. He would always be the target for haters and bullies no matter what. The boys in the club tried to help him. They just didn’t understand that one misplaced insult could slice directly through Kurt’s defenses. They thought his armour was strong enough to keep out the stereotypical comments they threw in his directions. They forgot that even the strongest of armour becomes battered and weakened after years in battle. Perhaps that one comment from Puck was enough to tip him over the edge.

So he ran.

He ran to a place where no one knew his name. No one knew his face. No one knew his voice. No one knew his past.

The uniformity of Dalton scared him. The second he stepped through the doors he felt out of place. He had worn his best imitation of a uniform but it was clear he stood out. Kurt walked quickly past the office, keeping his head down as to not draw attention to himself. He didn’t want to get kicked out because even completing his mission.

But what was his mission?

Puck had told him to spy on the Glee club here, but was that really why he had driven two hours to be here? Kurt was of the opinion that the New Direction didn’t need to stoop to the level of spying in order to win. They had the talent, they had the voices, they had the dance moves. They didn’t need to know what their competition was up to. They would wipe the floor with them anyway.

So why was he here?

Was it to prove to Puck and the boys that he could do something useful? They wouldn’t let him plan their song so he needed to pour his efforts into another outlet. He was so sick of being torn down all the time. He wasn’t sure he could take another negative comment, especially from the people who were meant to hold him up, not rip him back down. Sometimes it felt that tearing him down was all Glee club did. He never got the solos, his song choices were always shot down. He understood the need to be a team player but the diva inside of him was screaming out. Was a little appreciation too much to ask for?

He had tricked his mind into believing this was the reason he was at Dalton. He just wanted to prove to the club that he could be useful. Perhaps if he got some interesting information he would be rewarded with a solo at Sectionals. Yet his heart knew the real reason he was here. He wanted to see what this school was like. This mysterious all boys school that he’d never heard of until Mr. Schue had announced their competition. An all boys private school must have some out and proud boys like him, right?

He just couldn’t handle being alone anymore.

He needed to know that there was someone else like him out there. Another gay teenager stuck in the confines of hateful Ohio. He wanted a boyfriend but he didn’t need one. What he needed right now was to know there was someone else going through this too.

In his haze of confusion, Kurt had absent mindedly wandered through the school. He found himself on a winding staircase with people rushing by him. People that seemed to be heading in the same direction.

“Excuse me” he called out to a boy in front of him, in hopes that he would be able to find out where everyone was going.

The conversation was brief but it was long enough for Kurt to determine that the school’s glee club was actually liked. Clearly this school was nothing like McKinley in more ways than one. This boy, Blaine, actually had a full, albeit short, conversation with Kurt without throwing out any derogatory slurs or insults. Although if he had, Kurt was more than prepared for a come back. Really, who needs that amount of hair gel anyway?

Then Blaine had reached for his hand.

Oh.

That was unexpected.

To have this stranger take his hand, even though Kurt was sure it was just in the platonic “follow me” way, was more than Kurt could take. Such a simple gesture tore straight through his carefully crafted exterior and nearly broke him. Hand holding had always meant so much to Kurt. For him, it was more intimate than a kiss. It was what had gotten him through his mother’s death. It was something he craved with his entire being, someone who cared enough to hold his hand. He had been treated like vermin for so long – like something that shouldn’t be touched because it was ridden with disease. He had almost forgotten what the gentle touch of a hand in his was like. Mercedes held his hand sometimes, but this was different. It was as though this stranger had looked straight into his mind and determined what Kurt needed most. It was as though this stranger cared enough that he wanted to make Kurt feel better. It was as though this stranger wanted to make Kurt realize that he was not alone.

--------

Kurt glanced down at the coffee sleeve that had sat on his desk, unmoved for the past few days. A phone number was inked near the collar with the name Blaine scrawled quickly underneath it. There had been no contact between the two since they had gone out for coffee immediately after Kurt’s horrific endeavor as a spy. Kurt was too afraid to make the first move; he didn’t want to scare Blaine off by being too clingy. He’d given Blaine his phone number too so Kurt had planned on waiting for Blaine to make the first contact; but three days later he hadn’t heard a word from him. Kurt lay his head down on the desk, berating himself for letting someone who could have been a bright spot in his life walk away without a fight.

He should have called.

He should have said thank you to Blaine for not walking out when he had started crying.

He should have done so many things differently.

Kurt was shocked out of his reverie by his phone sounding loudly by his ear.

Incoming call: Blaine

Kurt tried to squash the feeling of his heart jumping into his throat before he picked up the phone. He refused to get his hope up, Blaine could have pocket dialed him for all he knew.

“Hello?” Kurt bit his lip, holding his breathing and waiting for an answer.

“Kurt? Um hi, it’s Blaine….from Dalton.” Blaine’s voice crackled through the speaker.

“Hi, Blaine.” A wide smile crept upon Kurt’s face as soon as he heard Blaine’s voice. He tried to keep his voice steady, not letting it give away just how excited he was.

“I haven’t heard from you since we had coffee. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” Blaine continued.

“I’m alright.” The smile never left Kurt’s face. It felt amazing to finally have someone who understood what he was going through. Someone who cared.

“You sure? Is that jerk still out to get you?” Blaine persisted.

“It’s not that bad.” Kurt didn’t tell Blaine that he couldn’t remember the last time he walked down the hall without being slammed into a locker. “You didn’t get too much trouble for bring a spy to a performance, did you?” Kurt desperately hoped that Blaine could sense his tone and realize that he didn’t want to talk about Karofsky.

The pair bantered back and forth for awhile before realizing how late it was.

“Woah, when did the sun go down?” Kurt fingered the curtains hanging by the window. He had a habit of pacing when he was on the phone and had ended up in the empty living room.

“I don’t know, it was still light out when I called you. I better go. I still have a history worksheet to finish.” It almost seemed like here was a tinge of regret to Blaine’s voice. Kurt shook his head, trying to clear such absurd thoughts from entering his mind.

“Yeah, I have still have Spanish homework. You would think that my Spanish teacher would be a little more lenient, seeing as how he’s our glee club director too.” Kurt hesitated for a moment. “Thank you for calling me, Blaine. It really means a lot to have someone I can finally relate too.” He added quietly.

“Don’t be a stranger, okay Kurt?” Blaine said just a quietly. “You can call me anytime you want to. Have a good night.” There was a click as the line disconnected.

Kurt collapsed on the couch, unable to control his smile. He lay there, hugging a cushion to his chest, until his dad came home from work.

------

Kurt slammed the door behind him. He sprinted down the stairs leading to the room he shared with Finn. He’d never been more thankful that Finn was busy with football practice. He wouldn’t have been able to explain this to Finn. He threw his bag somewhere in his room, tears blinding him as he ran into the bathroom.

His knees slammed into the tiled floor as he crumpled over the toilet. His stomach heaved, bile forced its way up his throat as he relived the memory again.

Kurt could still feel meaty hands grabbing the side of his face. He could still taste the repulsive flavour on his lips.

He felt dirty. He felt unclean. He felt used.

His hand shot out, turning the dial on the shower quickly. He didn’t wait for the water to reach the right temperature. He stepped under the harsh spray, almost slipping in his anxiousness to cleanse himself. The water slowly changed from freezing to scalding hot. He could feel it burning his back, but he didn’t change it. He needed to be decontaminated.

Kurt lost track of time. Eventually the hot water ran out, but he stayed under the spray. It didn’t help. He still felt just as used, just as dirty.

He stumbled out of the shower, not bothering to properly dry himself before shoving himself into the nearest clothes he could find. His entire body was shaking as he headed back into his room. His bag lay on the floor near the stairs.

Kurt’s hands scrambled over the clips, trying to open the bag. It took him a few tries before he could open it and it was another few moments before he found his phone.

The screen was cracked from where he had dropped it. Blaine’s message was still open.

Courage

It was as though the message was mocking him.

He had tried courage and look where he had ended up.

Without really thinking about it, he hit the call button. The phone only rang twice before the person on the other end answered.

“Hey Kurt.” Blaine’s friendly tone greeted him.

Kurt drew in a shaky breath before speaking.

“I need you.”

-----

“Come on. I’ll buy you lunch.”

Kurt cast his eyes downwards as they walked down the McKinley steps. He was angry at himself for believing that Blaine would kiss him when he admitted he’d never been kissed. Blaine was just here to be a friend, a mentor. There was no way he could ever reciprocate Kurt’s feelings.

Kurt turned down the hallway leading to the cafeteria. He instinctively jerked when a hand landed on his arm, pulling him back slightly. He squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for the shove that would send him careening into the lockers. It didn’t come. He opened his eyes slowly, Blaine stood in front of him, his hand still clutching Kurt’s arm, confusion clouding his hazel eyes. It took a moment before the clouds of confusion were cleared up by a sudden realization. His eyes flickered down to his hand still on Kurt’s arm, back up to Kurt’s blue eyes that were wide with panic.

“Shit, Kurt.” He’d never heard Blaine swear before. “I didn’t think, I just…” Blaine trailed off, unable to articulate his thoughts.

“It’s okay.” Kurt managed to get out once his erratic breathing calmed slightly. “I’m easily startled at the moment. You just what?”

“Just wanted to say that my car’s that way.” Blaine finally released his grip on Kurt’s jacket, his fingers smoothing over the wrinkled fabric until it lay flat.

“Okay?” Kurt said uncertainly, unsure as to why Blaine was providing him with this information. Blaine smiled slightly before turning and walking in the direction he had indicated previously. “Blaine?” Kurt called out tentatively. “The cafeteria’s that way.” Kurt jerked his thumb in the direction of the hallway behind him. Blaine frowned at this.

“When I said I’d buy you lunch, I meant actual food, not whatever synthetic material they serve you in there.” He waved vaguely towards the cafeteria. “Are there any good restaurants around here?”

“You don’t have to do that.” Kurt mumbled.

“It’s not about have to, Kurt. I know I have to, but I want to. So I’ll ask again, are there any good restaurants around here?” Blaine persisted with a good humored smile.

“There’s…um,” Kurt’s thoughts wandered slightly as he thought about actually going somewhere nice and having lunch with Blaine. He blushed when he realized that Blaine was still waiting patiently for an answer. “There’s a nice coffee shop close by. We go there after Glee club sometimes.”

“Sounds perfect.” Blaine smiled before walking away; he turned slightly, beckoning with his hand, indicating to Kurt that he should follow.

They walked in silence for a few minutes. There were a few students milling around in the hall, getting things out of their lockers before heading to the cafeteria or courtyard. They all gave the pair questionably glances, but they were directed more toward Blaine than Kurt.

“I guess I probably should have changed out of my uniform” Blaine mumbled, tugging self consciously at his blazer.

“You should always look into dress code if you want to blend at another school, Blaine” Kurt teased.

“Well I see that worked spectacularly well for you, new kid. The second you got my attention on those stairs I knew you were a spy.” Blaine nudged Kurt lightly in the side.

Kurt stopped upon hearing this. It took Blaine a few steps before he realized that Kurt was no longer beside him. Kurt waited until Blaine turned around, until he could see Blaine’s face before asking the question.

“Why did you take me to the performance if you knew I was a spy?” Kurt asked.

Blaine paused, uncertainty crossing his features. “I don’t know.” He admitted, “I just wanted to get to know you a little better, I guess.” He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

“But I was spying on you. You should have kicked me out straight away” Kurt persisted.

“I don’t know, Kurt. I really don’t. It just happened. I didn’t even think there was another option. You were standing there, in your sad attempt at a school uniform,” Kurt scoffed at this, “asking what was going on. Why wouldn’t I take you with me? It was the only thing that made sense to do in my mind. It wasn’t until after, when Wes asked me who you were, that it even occurred to me that maybe I shouldn’t have brought you along. But let me make one thing clear, Kurt.” Blaine stepped a little closer. “I don’t regret bringing you along. Not for one second. I don’t care what you’ve told your Glee club about the Warblers. It doesn’t matter.” Blaine bit his lip for a moment, looking slightly uncertain as to whether or not he should continue. “Do you remember what you said to me the first time we spoke on the phone? About how you needed someone to relate to?” Kurt nodded. “The same goes for me too, Kurt. I need you just as much as you need me.”

Kurt stood still, trying to think of an appropriate response. None immediately came to mind, but Blaine spoke again before Kurt had the chance.

“Come on then, if we don’t leave now we’ll never get you back in time for your next class”. Blaine smiled, showcasing his ability to mask any emotion in the blink of an eye.

“I have study hall next anyway, it really doesn’t matter.” Kurt supplied.

“Perfect.”

------

The coffee shop was generic.

There was a student sitting in the corner, his laptop out, empty cups of coffee surrounding him as he pounded at the keyboard frantically.

There was a couple sharing the loveseat in the corner, laughing quietly to one another, absorbed in their own world.

It was generic, but The Lima Bean was perfect for them.

Kurt and Blaine found themselves sitting at a table near the middle of the coffee shop. A sandwich sat in front of Blaine and a salad in front of Kurt. They both picked slowly at their meals, paying more attention to the conversation than their food.

The conversation was light, topics ranged from lighthearted teasing about the rapidly approaching Sectionals to recent movies to complaining about classes.

It wasn’t until Kurt made a simple comment that the conversation became more serious.

“What did you say?” Blaine asked, a shadow crossing his face.

“Which part?” Kurt didn’t understand why Blaine looked so grim all of a sudden.

“The normal part.” The intensity behind Blaine’s eyes was almost frightening.

“Um…If only I were normal, then I wouldn’t have to worry about washing red dye number five out of all of my clothing before getting to class?” Confusion was evident in his tone.

“Never ever say that again, Kurt” Blaine’s tone was hard, shocking Kurt. Blaine must have seen Kurt flinch, his voice softened. “Are you saying you want to be like everyone else, Kurt? That you want to be like those jocks that make your life hell every single day?”

“Of course not.” Kurt said quietly.

“Well that’s what you’re saying when you say you want to be normal. There’s nothing good about being normal, Kurt. You’d just be another faceless being in the crowd. You’re unique. That’s so much better, Kurt. There’s no one else in this world like you. No one with the same cares and concerns. No one with the same appearance. No one with the same fashion sense. No one with the same personality. You’re unique. You’re Kurt Hummel, and that’s all you should ever want to be.” Blaine grabbed Kurt’s hand, desperately trying to convince Kurt of what he was saying. “Never try to be normal. There’s no one else like Kurt Hummel.”

Unique
adj.
1. Being the only one of its kind
2. Without an equal or equivalent; unparalleled.