From then on partying with Kurt became a regular thing.

Blaine was nervous when he first called Kurt the following Saturday. He debated all day if he should call him – were six days not enough? Was it too much already?

But Kurt sounded friendly in his flirty, slightly arrogant way and promptly invited him to go out dancing with him and his girls that very night. They ended up in Blaine's bed again, after a night filled with dancing, laughter and booze.

This became a regular thing as well, Kurt ending up in Blaine's bed and staying the night and with every time Blaine's need to be with the other man grew. But as evident as that need, was also Kurt's obvious wish to keep things casual and meaningless. A fuck, breakfast and yes, more and more talking but never a date, never staying late or cuddling up on the couch. If Blaine had had to describe it he would have called them friends with benefits, even if that expression made his toes curl unpleasantly...

He also got along brilliantly with Kurt's friends, especially with Tina and Britt. Tina was a cute girl and easy to talk to whereas Britt's positive attitude and joy in dancing were infectious. Rachel was more difficult to get used to but nice in her own way once you came to the point of ignoring her sometimes rude comments. Santana was a completely other case though. For several weeks Blaine was convinced that Santana hated him, until he asked Kurt about it one morning when they lay in bed together and he explained what Santana tight lipped smiles, snarky comments and dirty looks really meant.

"Santana might seem like your average early twenty, bitchy slut but in fact she's been monogamous and wiped since high school and you Sir got too many smiles from her girl to be on her good side." Blaine looked at him in astonishment. Sure, Santana and Brittany had been constantly making out but the way both behaved, all those flirty smiles and dirty dancing, he really hadn't gotten the hint. On the other hand he had never spoken three words with them outside a club or party setting.

It was that attitude towards him that made his eyes widen in surprise as he received a call from her late one Friday night.

"Hobbit. Is Ladylips with you?" She asked, her voice disinterested with was a certain edge to it that Blaine did not like at all.

"Kurt? No I haven't heard from him all week... he also didn't answer my call earlier... I thought you were just out not wanting me to tag along..."

"Well, we were... then Kurt said he needed to go to the toilet, with a cute blond I might add, and didn't return for an hour. He didn't come back though, wasn't present at the toilet and also didn't send one of his ''getting the D'' text to any of us. I did saw the blond again though... so we figured he'd be getting the D elsewhere...."

"Santana you seem worried." Blaine cut in.

"What? No! Why would I be worried? It's Hummel. Guess he just found a better fuck on the way and went home with him..." She didn't sound convinced but as Blaine tried to interrogate further she tried to distract him, ending in her pretending to be losing connection and hanging up.

Blaine didn't buy it. If Santana was worried Kurt must have been behaving oddly and if she went as far as calling Blaine, it must be serious.

Blaine managed to sit for another full minute on the couch in his empty living-room before he got up to get his taxi keys, jacket and wallet to storm out and find Kurt somewhere in the night of New York.

Blaine wasn't stupid. He knew that chances were high that if he found Kurt at all, he'd be in the arms of another guy. Just because Blaine hadn't so much as looked at anyone in months didn't mean that Kurt hadn't done that and more the whole time. They weren't together. They weren't in love. They had no claim on the other.

That didn't stop Blaine from being true and falling. He was in love and he had told himself so many times that, what he had with Kurt was good, was enough, that he nearly believed it.

It where those moments, which they had completely to themselves, that had made him fall. Those moments, where Kurt seemed to let his guard down and was just himself. Blaine delighted in the feeling that Kurt could do that. That Kurt liked being with him enough and felt save enough to do it.

Like when he made them breakfast early in the morning and instead of being awkward and unsure like the first time it had happened, Kurt came into the kitchen to wrap his arms around Blaine, hug him close and press a kiss below his right ear murmuring "Morning beautiful" in a still sleepy and warm voice.

It were those moments when they were in bed and Kurt gave himself to Blaine without even attempting to take control. It didn't happen every time, Blaine had learned that Kurt liked to be in control of the situation at all times, but sometimes he'd just pull Blaine down and whisper in his ear "Take me, Blaine. Make me feel good" in this soft and needy voice that made Blaine's toes curl and his heart clench with the wish to give Kurt all he needed and wanted.

Or the times when Kurt would lead him out of the club at random moments just to drag him into the next café or a nearby park with the excuse of ''feeling hot'' and then ending in them talking until the early morning about everything and nothing. They never talked about their past or jobs. Blaine had tried but Kurt had distracted him and Blaine had gotten the hint. Still, they didn't need to. They had so much in common! Their love for music and fashion, bad reality TV and good movies, travelling, art and culture. There was so much to talk about that it never got boring. In the end they were laughing and giggling until Kurt would take Blaine's hand with sparkling eyes and a bright smile and let Blaine take him home.

There were those little smiles, that were ever so often directed at Blaine, the private jokes and this moment when they were dancing close and Kurt rested his head against Blaine's temple and it was just so perfect that Blaine could bury his nose in the crock of Kurt's neck, close his eyes and just breath him in – tune everything else out and just be with Kurt.

Of course it didn't hurt that Kurt was, like he had seen this first night, drop dead gorgeous. His sparkling eyes, sometimes blue, sometimes so bright they seemed grey and then once in a while they had a green touch to it that made him look mysterious and unworldly.

He was lithe, but his built was in no way anything but masculine, with broad shoulders and strong arms, so strong that they could lift Blaine up easily only to drop him to the bed or keep him up against a wall, while he was fucking into him.

Blaine sighed at this memory, eyes glazing over for a moment before he returned his attention to the street.

He didn't really know where to start but he knew he had to start somewhere.

He went to all the clubs he had visited with Kurt and he was glad that Kurt was well known. He just asked the bouncers if they had seen him and even if most of them didn't know Kurt by name a vague description was enough to get the information he needed.

Sadly though, he hadn't been to any of them that night.

The driving around gave him too much time to think for his liking, as the hours dragged on.

He didn't understand Kurt. Was he just not the type of guy to settle for one person only? And all the going out and getting wasted. Did he do it for fun only? There were those nights, mostly Friday nights, when Kurt drank more, danced wilder and fucked Blaine harder. Even if they danced close, he always seemed more distant and colder despite the fire in his eyes.

Only the morning after did Kurt return to his usual self, the one that hugged and smiled at Blaine, that talked with him and flirted, the one that not only made his stomach swoop but also his heart flutter. Blaine hadn't asked him about it, more scared of being rejected than of the answer itself...

Then again maybe he just wasn't enough for Kurt to settle for. The thought hurt but in the end this would be it. Kurt just liked enjoying life to the fullest and Blaine was just temporary fun.

It surely was what Wes and David, and after a really awkward run-in, also Jeff and Nick thought.

They hadn't said anything (yet) but he saw it in their fake smiles when Kurt was looking and the disapproving looks when he wasn't. He knew it from the pity in their eyes when he was gushing over what a perfect night he had spent with the other man.

Besides, even though they hadn't openly addressed the topic, they had made remarks about Blaine nearly not working anymore and constantly asking how he was doing with his project works. They did have a point there. Blaine had spent most of his nights going out with Kurt instead of driving his cab or searching for gigs and even though his friends had welcomed him enjoying himself for a change, now they were more vary about that. And if he did have a Kurt-free evening he needed it to catch up with all the school and project work, not to mention that going out so much wasn't exactly cheap either. Money he needed for school and rent and justgetting by.

But he couldn't stop. He needed Kurt in his life. Even if he just was temporary. He found happiness with him on those evenings, a feeling he had missed for such a long time.

He sighed as he started the car again. Another bar – no Kurt and it was already past 4am now.

Kurt's friends seemed to be more positive about him and Kurt though. Of course Santana was a case of her own and Britt never seemed to think too much about other people's problems but especially Tina seemed to like him and respectively him with Kurt. She had gone as far as saying "when he is with you he reminds me of the boy he used to be" whatever that was supposed to mean, whereas Rachel had praised their chemistry when they had sung together at a karaoke bar once.

Those were good things right? Kurt's friends supported them in... whatever they were.

Blaine sighed. He just needed to see Kurt. There was this nauseous feeling in his gut that something was wrong and that Kurt needed him. Was that presumptuous of him? At least if he did find him in the arms of some other guy he'd know that Kurt was alright and then he could go home and cry and nurse his heartbreak only to call Kurt the next evening, hoping he'd want him then.

He left the cab, for that felt like the 100th time that evening, maybe it even was, to enter a small and shabby pub they'd been to only once. It wasn't dirty but even for Manhattan far off the beaten track. There weren't too many people around and those who were, were regulars, middleclass men who had come here all their lives and late at night those who didn't find another place to crash for their final round.

It was more likely that Kurt would be at home already or on the moon but when Blaine entered he saw a figure slouched over the bar. He'd recognize that head and figure everywhere and without thinking he rushed forward and hugged Kurt from behind.

The man squeaked but then just giggled and leaned back into his hug. Blaine reluctantly let go and moved to the stool beside him.

Kurt turned towards him and giggled more.

"Blainey! You found me! You are sooo cute!"

He leaned forward and framed Blaine's face with his hands. Blaine could smell the alcohol in his breath as he leaned forward. He must have had a lot.

"I missed you, you know? But I needed... I dunno. But it was fun. You had fun too, right?" He giggled again, before he rested his head on Blaine's shoulder with a groan.

Blaine was shell shocked. He had never seen Kurt like this. So... vulnerable and out of it.

"Kurt." He said, his voice low and urgent as he began to stroke his hand soothingly over his friends back. "Where were you all evening? Santana called me. She was worried."

"Oh Satan can suck it!" Kurt snapped, as he sat up straight again and looked at Blaine suddenly angry. "She was all likeOh Hummellina you need to get some other D than that Anderson kid what happened to your predatory instinct ever since that hobbit came along you're as faithful as 50s housewifeand then I went and there was that Adam and he was nice and good looking and I wanted to have him and I could and suddenly I didn't want to anymore and then I ran out and ended up here and it's all Satan's fucking fault. That bitch." He closed his eyes and tried to empty his already empty drink, mumbling a quite "fuck" as he noticed.

Blaine wasn't sure if he was able to follow. Did that mean that Kurt had not seen anyone but him for the past months? Did that mean anything? And if so... what did it mean?

Blaine shook his head. Even if it did meansomethingthis was about Kurt and what happened to him here.

"Kurt. What happened? Why are you here and what did you do?"

Blaine hoped that he sounded interested and not as worried as he thought he did. He knew that Kurt wasn't someone who appreciated patronizing.

"I don't know. I needed to get out... and then I walked and then I took a cab... and I had to think of you because you drive a cab, don't you B? You are a cab driver, that drives a cab!" He giggled again.

"Yes, Kurt. You took a cab. Why did you come..." Blaine let his eyes wander over the small empty dance floor and the deserted tables "here?" His voice wasn't much louder than a whisper, his hands resting on Kurt's left shoulder and clutching his right hand to keep him focused.

Kurt only shrugged, his gaze not meeting Blaine's.

"Blaine." From one moment to the other Kurt's eyes were focused on him, though it was like he was trying to look through fog. "Remember when we were here? The girls had gone home and we were sooo drunk." Kurt's mouth turned into a big smile. "No one was there. Just like now. And there was music and you told me I was beautiful and then there was this song... this old Pink song... and you said that it made you think of me, because I was perfect and you pulled me to the dance floor and held me close and... we danced. It wasn't to the beat we just stood there and it was so nice." He looked dreamy and then tugged at Blaine's hand.

"Dance with me." Kurt demanded, trying to pull Blaine towards him but his attempt so weak, he ended up falling against Blaine again.

"Hey, hey" Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt to stabilize him. He was seriously worried. Kurt was one hundred percent out of it and Blaine wasn't sure how to handle this.

"So you came here because you thought of me...?" He asked, unsure if he had understood Kurt correctly.

"No?" It sounded more as a question, muffled against Blaine's neck. He could feel Kurt's lips moving against his skin and it was really distracting.

"I think... maybe I came here... to forget you... forget everything." Kurt's words were interrupted by small little kisses to Blaine's neck and Blaine had to fight really hard to not close his eyes and give into Kurt's small affections. He untangled himself from Kurt carefully and held his face softly with one hand.

"Kurt. Please tell me what you did and then I'll take you home and you can sleep, okay?" The other man looked at him in confusion and then a small chuckle escaped his throat.

"Oh I know what you want with mein bedMr. Anderson." He let his finger trail down Blaine's chest but Blaine caught it before he could reach his belt buckle and clasped it over his heart.

"No, Kurt, please. Just talk and then just sleep. I just need to know you're alright." Blaine was pleading by now and Kurt looked at him in surprise.

"O... Okay..." He mumbled, seemingly caught off guard. "I came here... and I got a drink? I didn't know anyone... I didn't tell anyone that I had left... oh my god... what was I thinking? I should have told the girls." Blaine shushed him and Kurt nodded and went on talking. "But there were people... I didn't know them... but they gave me something to drink and then we danced... and then we drank more... I don't think they come here... and oh my god Blaine... I think they took photos of me drunk... I might have been shirtless." He groaned and his eyes didn't only look glassy but teary too. "If my boss sees those!"

Blaine shushed him again and squeezed his hand fleetingly.

"I just hate it, Blaine. All of it. Why don't I ever get the good stuff? I thought coming here... I'd one day get the good stuff... but nothing changes." Tears were rolling down Kurt's face by now and Blaine didn't know what to do but to prompt him to go on and stroke away the tears, caressing his cheek. He didn't feel like they were still talking about what had happened that night only.

Kurt nodded slightly, sniffling and leaning into Blaine's touch.

"I don't even think I'd care though. I don't know who they were... they don't know who I am. Who does even care about this sorta shit?" Blaine wasn't even sure if Kurt was laughing or crying right now. "Kiss me." Without warning Kurt's lips were pressing against his, dry and hot, clumsily trying to lick into his mouth. Blaine gave in for a moment, feeling the man's lips he had missed for nearly a whole week, but the need and alcohol on his tongue felt different and bitter and Blaine pulled back quickly.

"I care, Kurt. I care about you. I care when you feel bad and I care when you hurt. I want you to come to me when you hurt and I want to make you feel better because I know I could Kurt. I know I could if you let me." Kurt was still holding onto his hand, his eyes wide. Blaine didn't even know if Kurt understood what he was saying but he sounded more sober and calmer when he spoke again.

"Take me home, please? I just don't want to be alone right now. We'll talk in the morning?" Kurt's eyes were shining and Blaine couldn't say no. He threw some bills to the counter and supported Kurt as they made their way to his cab, Blaine's arm around Kurt's waist and Kurt's arms thrown over his shoulders, while his cheek was resting against Blaine's head.

Carefully Blaine let Kurt crawl into the backseat. As they reached his apartment Kurt was as good as sleeping, not even saying a word, as Blaine stripped him down to his underwear and tugged him into bed.

Still, as Blaine crawled in next to him ten minutes later, Kurt turned around and wrapped himself around the other man, sighing happily before he began to snore quietly.

Despite, the man he loved quietly sleeping on his chest, Blaine wasn't able to find rest for quite a while. Everything he had thought about and had seen of and heard from Kurt this evening was confusing. He feared what he'd hear in the morning, if Kurt were willing to talk then. Blaine wasn't sure if he was more afraid to get a look behind what he knew now was a façade or what that could mean for them. What he did know was that, whatever would happen he'd be there for Kurt. He couldn't stay away even if it were better for his own sake. And maybe that was the scariest thought of them all.