Just as the sun started streaking through the blinds of the guest room, Kurt woke suddenly his eyes itching with tiredness, his legs tangled uncomfortably in the sheets. There was a sharp pain in his abdomen, and in that moment he knew he was going to be sick within 10 seconds, so he sped to the bathroom and retched violently.

Kurt’s limbs were shaking as he leaned against the toilet for a few minutes, breathing raggedly. He felt like utter crap, and he didn’t think he would be able to stomach hanging out with his friends today; and especially face Karofsky after what they did last night.

Kurt had never in his life felt remorse for having a one night stand with someone. Before Blaine, it was something he did on a regular basis. There were only two possible reasons for this alien emotion: Karofsky was his friend, and Kurt normally slept with strangers he never had to see again if he didn’t have to, or maybe it was the fact that Blaine has permanently changed him, and his body and mind forever more only will want Blaine, and if Kurt ever shares himself with anyone else it’s like a mortal sin.

There was a soft knock on the bathroom door. “Dude, you okay?” It was Finn, sounding extremely tired and concerned.

Kurt wiped his mouth and flushed the toilet, leaning against the bathtub as he struggled into an upright position. “Yeah, just threw up, it’s okay.”

Finn chanced coming in, the door creaked open and Kurt still couldn’t find the strength to get up.

Finn leaned down on the floor and rubbed Kurt’s back. “You don’t look very good, how about you stay in bed today and Carol and I can take care of you.”

Kurt smiled and his heart warmed, leaning into Finn, thankful to have such a caring brother. Finn held him for a while, and Kurt almost drifted off into tense sleep when Finn said, “C’mon, let me help you to bed.”

Kurt was still shaking and his mouth was really dry from dehydration. Finn basically hauled Kurt up with his own strength alone and limped to the guest room with Kurt leaning heavily on him. Kurt collapsed on the bed, groaning because his whole body was starting to ache from the sensitivity of being sick.

“Finn, I’m really thirsty, can you get me a glass of water,” Kurt croaked, trying to get comfortable.

Finn felt his forehead, a crease of worry on his brow. “Yeah, no problem, just say the word if you need me,” Finn said softly, affectionately before he left the room.

Kurt was a self-sufficient person so he really loathed the idea of people waiting on his hand and foot, but he really was feeling quite terrible, and he could really use the company of people who actually loved him.

But it would never be enough because his soul only craved another’s unconditional love. Love he would never get back.

Finn came back with Carol and some water to find Kurt curled up in the fetal position, crying.

Carol hugged him, rubbing his back soothingly. “Shh, it’s okay honey, don’t cry.”

But Kurt couldn’t stop crying. Blaine was supposed to be here for him, but he wasn’t. Blaine lied. He lied about everything. He never loved Kurt or cared about him; he just needed the distraction from his terrible life back in East Liverpool or wherever the fuck he lived and his inevitable loneliness of moving to a new city. Why couldn’t anyone love Kurt without coming with a cost?

Kurt heaved and sobbed, and Carol stayed, kissing his burning forehead lightly and whispering that things will be okay. Finn couldn’t stand seeing his brother so broken. It cut something deep because it reminded him so much of Burt’s funeral. Finn got into the bed with Kurt, and curled him into his arms, holding Kurt tightly as he felt his own tears fall...

“I don’t believe in God dad, but I believe in you. And I believe in us. You and me; that’s what’s sacred to me. And I’m so sorry I never got to tell you that.”

Kurt squeezed his father’s hand, but there was no response, no change. Kurt cursed whatever force allowed this to happen. What is a son to do without his own father in his life? Where would Kurt turn when he needed him most? Like now. Kurt was helpless and there was nothing he could do.
The room suddenly got colder and Kurt flipped around. It was the ethereal Blaine again, smiling sadly. Kurt turned away, squeezing his eyes shut and gritting his teeth, his heart breaking further.

“Please leave,” Kurt begged.

“You need to stop telling yourself lies, Kurt.” the voice echoed around the room.

Kurt knew it was a dream and he kept opening and closing his eyes, willing himself to wake but he couldn’t escape his nightmare.

“I can’t take this anymore, this is torture,” Kurt’s choked. “I just wan’t everything to stop.”

“Kurt,” the voice sounded deeply concerned. “You know I could never leave you.”

Kurt wrapped his arms around himself, completely breaking down. “But you did.. you did,” Kurt repeated it over and over, heaving with sorrow. Why couldn’t Blaine just leave him in peace? Alone with the only man that will ever truly love him?

“It’s time to wake up now, Kurt.”

Kurt’s eyes flew open, momentarily confused about where he was. Once he realized he was in the guest room at his parent’s house, he remembered that he had cried in Carol’s and Finn’s arms, eventually falling asleep without even noticing.

Kurt still felt Finn wrapped around him, breathing slowly, his breath raising goosebumps on the nape of Kurt’s sweaty neck. Kurt’s heart warmed because he knew how much his brother cared about him. If Finn were in a similar state, Kurt would have done the same thing, without a doubt.

Kurt pulled Finn’s lanky arm tighter around him, enjoying the feeling of being loved and accepted by somebody. With a small laugh, Kurt realized his inner sophomore would die to be in this position.

After a while, Kurt heard footsteps in the hallway and he glanced up in time to see Carol bringing in soup on a tray. She set it on the nightstand, and pushed Kurt’s bangs out of his eyes.

“Hi honey, how are you feeling,” she asked quietly, trying not to wake Finn. She looked like she was going to burst into tears, and Kurt felt extremely guilty for bringing her down with him.

“Still a little shaky, but a bit better I suppose. You didn’t have to,” Kurt sighed, gesturing the soup.

Carol smiled, looking hesitant. “Kurt?” Her voice was careful and controlled. Kurt sensed this coming. “I know you don’t want to talk about this, but is the way you’re feeling right now have anything to do with this guy Blaine that was supposed to accompany you on this trip? Finn told me he was basically living with you and he was kind of your boyfriend.”

Kurt felt his stomach twist in agony again, but he knew he had to be honest. Her motherly, unwavering gaze knew all. “Yeah,” Kurt confessed. “He couldn’t come because he had an adopted son he didn’t tell me about that he needed to go home to.”

Her eyebrows shot up to her hairline in surprise, but her eyes remained glassy. “I’m so sorry, Kurt. You didn’t deserve that. Finn told he had never seen you so happy..”

There was a sense of loss in her voice, and it made Kurt cringe. “Can we just forget it, I’ll move on eventually.”

She kissed his forehead, stroking his cheek softly. “I hope so.”

There was a hint of doubt in her voice, although hopeful, because she knew all too well how Kurt still wasn’t over the fact that his father had died. She didn’t blame him, either. He already had so much pain, and a romance heartbreak was a whole new wave of emotional terrain that Kurt never really had on his plate before.

And she knew exactly how he dealt with his emotions. He didn’t. He just pushed them aside and found other means of making himself feel better. This made her worried sick, and Kurt caught all these flashes behind her eyes as she turned to leave the room. She hesitated in the doorway, eyeing her two sons cuddled in bed together, wishing that they didn’t have to deal with so much. She wanted to make it all go away so everything could be perfect for them. But she knew that was impossible.

Kurt’s eyes drifted closed as he watched her sigh and close the door behind her. He left the real world as quickly as he joined it.

Kurt felt warm, like there were candles surrounding him. He felt completely content and at peace. He wanted to stay in this place forever, wherever it was.

Kurt opened his eyes and with a jolt saw Blaine’s face a hair breadth’s away from his own. Blaine nuzzled his nose and looked deep into Kurt’s eyes. His skin looked like it was glowing from underneath, and Kurt knew he wasn’t real.

“Why are you here,” Kurt whispered, afraid to shatter the fantasy.

“I’ve always been here,” Blaine answered smoothly, the corner of his mouth twitching up.

Kurt furrowed his eyebrows, squeezing Blaine’s shoulder. “But you-”

“Shhh, just stay here with me,” Blaine breathed, stroking Kurt’s arm in a reassuring manner.

Kurt felt tears well in his eyes. “But this isn’t real.”

Blaine stared determinedly back. “But it is, Kurt. This is the most real thing you know.”

Kurt didn’t know what to say, so he just lay there, holding Blaine and was held in turn. This would have to do for now, even though Kurt knew he could wake up at any moment. He just wanted to hold onto the fact that this was the first good dream he has had since he could remember...

“Kurt? Kurt!”

Kurt woke with a start, his heart beating in his ears. He blinked a few times to see Rachel’s face close to his, looking at him with concern. She looked over her shoulder questioningly. “How long has he been like this?”

Finn came up behind her, rubbing his eyes. Kurt realized he was in an empty bed, when just moments ago felt like it was filled with the essence of Blaine. “He’s been like this all day. He hasn’t eaten anything, and his soup is cold.” Finn frowned.

“Rachel?” Kurt’s voice cracked from disuse. “What are you doing here?”

She looked relieved that he seemed in a sane state of mind. “Carol called us, and we wanted to come make sure you were okay.”

“We who?” Kurt sat up to see the majority of his friends crowding the small room. He suddenly felt like an animal on display at the zoo. He really didn’t like it. Kurt fell to the bed again with a groan.

Rachel felt his forehead. “Are you okay? Are you going to be sick again? Do you need me to get you a bucket?”

He slapped her hand away. “No, I’m fine, I just don’t like the fact that you guys were watching me as I slept. I feel violated.”

“Kurt we’re just here to help,” Karofsky said, leaning forward and patting his arm. Kurt’s stomach did a weird flip seeing him there again, remembering with full clarity of the activities they partook in the previous night. The odd look on Karofsky’s face hinted at the same thing.

“C’mon you should eat your soup,” Rachel insisted, reaching to help him up, but he swatted her hand again.

“I’m fine,” he grunted, getting into an upright position, and with shaking hands, he picked up his bowl of soup and a rather large spoon. They all watched quietly as Kurt took a few slurps of it. His stomach growled violently, all the while feeling the liquid go down his esophagus pleasantly. It was a rather odd sensation.

“So you guys have nothing better to do,” Kurt snapped, feeling grumpy despite the kind thought that went behind everyone’s visit.

Finn shrugged and laughed uncomfortably. “Not really, dude.”

“Well I want to go downstairs and watch TV or something. I’m sick of this room.”

Kurt struggled to get up, and when he saw Rachel trying to lean in to assist once again, he shot daggers at her with piercing eyes. They all made their way slowly downstairs to the warm living room where Carol sat, knitting. She looked up, smiling happily.

“I’m glad to see you feel better, Kurt.”

Kurt opened his mouth to respond, but then there was a frantic rapping on the door. Carol looked up, befuddled. “Who could it be?” She wondered out loud, voicing everyone’s thoughts.

Something made Kurt rush to the door and be the first one to open it. And when he did, he absolutely could not believe what he saw.

It was Blaine, looking utterly terrified with tears in his big, gorgeous eyes, holding an adorable child who was no older than 2 or 3.

“Kurt, please. You have to let me in.”