Only A Name
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Only A Name: Spider


E - Words: 1,104 - Last Updated: Apr 03, 2013
Story: Complete - Chapters: 15/15 - Created: Mar 06, 2013 - Updated: Apr 13, 2022
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When Burt Hummel would dream, it would only be of her.

Sometimes of the small spider tattoo on her hip. A place his fingers would brush over and over. Loving and cherished; down the curve of her spine to the dimples of her hips.

No man in the world could love her as much as Burt did. That was a fact.

That was until he woke to a crying infant son, knowing that he would never have a mother be there for him when he needed her most; past, present or future.

***

It was like a bomb went off in Kurt's head. The white noise was incredible.

Pouding, loud, ringing.. shaking. He felt like his eardrums were bleeding.

Ben, no - Blaine - was talking, but it was far away; like spoken into a deep glass jar wrapped tightly around his lips; it was completely indecipherable.

Then there was a flaring, acute pain in his wrist, but he barely registered it on a conscious level. Kurt could have had glass shards in his arm and have not paid any attention or mind, because nothing else mattered.

Everything clicked together like notches in a repaired watch, moving and simultaneous. It all made sense with perfect clarity. The signs were always there, Kurt knew all along, he just refused to acknowledge it.

For good reason too. Everything he believed was now at stake. His entire relationship with his father was now in jeopardy. Kurt's entire future was now being called into question.

But he couldn't ignore it any longer.

He was Kurt Hummel. Ben Avery was actually Blaine Anderson. They had each other's names branded to each other's wrists.

It was irrefutable. Un-fallible. Fact without question.

They were each other's true soulmate.

For so long, no.. for his entire life the name was nothing more than something that resembled a fable.

It had been a fantasy. An untold story with so much doubt for a happy ending. It was something completely unobtainable to the point where Kurt would never even try to entertain the thought.

The idea of meeting Blaine at some point was utterly ludicrous; unfathomable.

Yet - here he was.

This was happening to him. Kurt was actually standing in the same room as his soulmate.

His soulmate.

The circumstances couldn't have possibly been more unfortunate in his favor.

This realization made the ringing in his ears stop, centering him back into the here and now. Kurt felt sick. Kurt was crying.

Those beautiful, heartbreaking eyes of Blaine's were now focused in Kurt's view, looking more concerned than ever.

Kurt wanted to throw everything else away, wrap his arms around Blaine's neck and weep the truth into his ear. He wanted to run away with Blaine, far away, away from it all. Make love every day and have the rest of eternity together.

But that was the dream of a child. A fantasy for the fool-hearted.

He looked into the eyes of his soulmate, seeing their happy future vanish. Seeing Blaine now made everything inside Kurt cold. Blaine Anderson was so in the dark, the face of someone Kurt should have never crossed paths with in a million years.

Suddenly, everything was deafening. His tears were dry.

"Do I need to call a doctor, your father, Ka-?"

Kurt spoke over him. "I need to go now."

His voice sounded dead. It was all he could manage as he fought the fabric of nature's true intent. But he had to, he no longer had any other option.

Blaine tripped over his words. His clear disappointment was devastating, almost breaking Kurt's resolve.

"B-but, but.. we have the whole day, don't go."

Blaine reached up to grab Kurt's shoulder, who flinched like he had been nearly scorched. His eyes flickered down, realization dawning on his face.

"It's the name isn't it?" Blaine's whisper as as soft as dust blowing soundlessly across grass.

Kurt closed his eyes, feeling so, so tired. Things he experienced moments ago seemed foreign, unreachable. He felt like an entirely different person. "I just need to go."

"Please don't," Blaine pleaded, making Kurt cringe. Saying this was painful would be more than an understatement. He couldn't even begin to describe it.

"What happened - what did I do just, please, tell me-"

Kurt shook his head vigorously, trying not to allow himself to break down completely. He prayed for all of this to go away. To go back in time. Travel to an alternate universe where things didn't have to be this complicated.

But prayers, Kurt knew, were never answered.

He was alone.

He couldn't go to his father, the one constant person in his world. He couldn't go to anybody.

Kurt wanted to cry out for his mother. Why wasn't she here? He needed her. Mom.

"Why are you doing this to me - to us?" The agony in Blaine's voice made Kurt bite into his lip, breaking the skin, tasting blood.

Kurt's heart shattered. "I can't do this, we can't."

"WHY! Just tell me, Kal, why?"

"We can't see each other, not like this. It's not right."

And with that Kurt turned away, running as fast as he could.

***

Burt Hummel had a tattoo that his son had always wondered about.

Kurt had only seen it a few times; the occasional trip to the beach where Kurt had no choice but to stay lathered in sunscreen and under an umbrella so his skin wouldn't be tarnished by the suns harmful rays.

It could have been the times in Kurt's youth where he played outside in the sprinkler in the dead of summer and his father would mow the lawn in a wife beater, wiping his sweaty forehead with the back of his hand.

It could have been a time when recently Kurt came home in tears, finding his father staring resolutely in the hallway mirror, seemingly lost in thought, sleeve rolled up.

But Kurt never really paid much attention before.

It was a spider, runic in a way. It lived just above the muscled roll of Burt's bicep and often remained hidden.

Kurt assumed that it was something embarrassing he'd rather forget that he did as a teenager, as many tattoos were of that nature.

However, the night Kurt came home, his life in shambles, he decided to look more closely. He was drawn to it.

He could tell was something his father treasured. Kept in private for his own revisiting. It made Kurt recall a fuzzy memory in his childhood asking his father about it;

"What's that Daddy? A spider, gross!"

"No, son, no. Did you know that in some ancient cultures spiders were believed to weave the strands of fate?"

Kurt never knew he'd remember something that seemed so insignificant back then that would eventually haunt his future.

Ruin it.

Kurt could only think of that spider every day after he broke Blaine's heart, knowing this wasn't going to be the last of his troubles.

End Notes: sorry :( but please review and comment! thanks so much

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why why must you make me cry ... i feel bad for our Klaine pore babys

Ahhh donf know who to feel sorry for at this point. Poor Burt, Kurt & Blaine.

All of them hurt.. it's hard to choose who to feel more sorry for