Kurt wasn't sure how Rachel slept with the constant readjusting and squeaking of his mattress, but it probably had something to do with the fact that she was completely wasted, and fell into a deep, drunken sleep.

Just as Kurt started to nod off, he kept getting flashes of smiles, touches and tastes. Kurt's brain was reaching out, trying to remember what it was like to be with Blaine, and that was complete and utter torture. Because the worst part was, Kurt couldn't really remember specifics of what it was like to be intimate with Blaine, and that deeply bothered him.

He kept mulling over certain bits. How Blaine would smile at Kurt post-coitus like he was the luckiest man in the world. He remembered that they would stroke each other's backs until they fell asleep, depending on who topped. When it came to them, neither was exclusively top or bottom because they usually switched it up. If Kurt was thinking about logistics though, he more often topped because Blaine was the one who liked being spread out and vulnerable for Kurt. He gave everything to Kurt, and Kurt gave everything to him.

So why couldn't Kurt remember the exact touch and feel of Blaine's body or lips upon his? It was maddening. His body ached and cried yearning to reacquaint with Blaine, but Kurt knew that it was impossible. Blaine was in a committed relationship, and soon they would be hitting the road again.

But Kurt remembered exactly how Blaine made him feel. He remembered that being with Blaine was just as easy as breathing. It was so natural and wonderful, and for the longest time they existed in bliss.

Kurt remembered than even after their year anniversary that whenever Blaine held him or looked at him so full of love and joy, Kurt would get butterflies. Blaine always took his breath away and brought tears to his eyes knowing that this wonderful boy was his. Kurt recalled the feeling of desperation and anxiety whenever they were apart, only to be reunited once more. Kurt remembered the tragic pain and pure, raw agony in his chest when they finally came to terms with the fact that they grew apart, they were too far away from each other and that they needed to break things off. As a result, Kurt Hummel didn’t truly believe in love anymore, and hasn't since Blaine disappeared from his life.

Sure, love was true and real when it came to friends and family; the need to protect your own in ferociously strong and runs deep. But soon he realized there was a difference between companionate love and romantic love. Romantic love doesn’t last. It always wanes off and comes to an end at some point, and Kurt was sure about that fact.

Ah, yes, there is the honeymoon phase in the beginning of a romantic relationship, which is utterly glorious. You spend your entire life searching to be loved, and once someone FINALLY returns your feelings it is literally unbelievable. The honeymoon phase is so intense with feelings of lust, desire, need, jealousy, anguish and every other overwhelming (negative or positive) emotion that comes along with love.

But sadly, eventually that feeling wears off, and maybe after a couple years that person you used to not be able to live without becomes uninteresting, annoying even. You forget about them and move on. This was something Kurt had to come to terms with. He saw this happen way too many times to doubt. People change over time, it’s a given.

He commended certain married couples who remained together for the rest of their lives, when in reality they could barely stand each other. Kurt, who was once a hopeless romantic had lost almost all hope. Because this had happened to him. This was all because of Blaine.

When Kurt left for New York the two boys clung to each other, sobbing and promised that they would text and call one another every day, and they couldn't wait until they saw each other next. It was really hard. Probably the hardest thing Kurt ever had to deal with in his life.

But eventually the old saying 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' faltered quite a bit. Kurt soon found himself looking at other guys, curious what it was like to experience outside the only thing he knew. He never acted upon those urges, but at that point him and Blaine talked less frequently. They didn't know what to talk about because they already knew everything about each other. Kurt also got so absorbed in his school or work, he couldn't find time for anything else.

They changed and grew apart with each other. It was inevitable. They lived a thousand miles away from each other, living separate lives. Kurt saw this happening, and that's what pained him the most. It hurt him so much that he was losing Blaine gradually, that he became apathetic. It made himself deal with the pain a lot easier. He wasn't necessarily detached, but he soon became cautious and careful with his emotions. When Kurt would go back to visit, their connection dimmed, especially when they were making love. Something was missing, and Blaine knew it. So, Blaine ended up being the one who officially broke things off.

Blaine desperately wanted to remain friends, because it was still possible for them to have a future together. They even had discussed marriage at one point, and Blaine didn't want to lose that. Neither did Kurt, but he found out that talking to Blaine only made him feel worse. Knowing that Blaine was free to see other people, love other people. Kurt was no longer his number one, and he couldn't handle that. Even when his heart would jump at Blaine's texts, he eventually stopped texting or calling back. Then Blaine soon gave up, getting the hint and they never talked again. Until today.

If you don't believe in love, then why do you feel this way? his brain echoed at him. Kurt didn't know the answer to that question, so he tried suppressing his nostalgia and buzzing thoughts, until after some time, he fell into a restless slumber.

Kurt woke up feeling like complete shit. His body ached, his eyes were bloodshot, he was sure of it. Once he surfaced into the real world, there were his emotions, just waiting to crash down upon him. Kurt prayed to nobody in particular, hoping that last night had just been a dream. He felt his phone buzz on his pillow.

From: Blaine - Morning! Hey, we still on for coffee today?

Reality crashed around him, and Kurt felt his eyes well up with tears. He didn't think he could do this. Seeing him again, it would be almost too much. Kurt was sure they were probably going to kiss last night too. This was very dangerous territory. But it was possible he would leave and never come back, and Kurt would regret not seeing him at least one more time.

To: Blaine - Yeah. Meet me outside the dollar store on Main Street in about an hour.

He received the next text within seconds. From: Blaine - Sure thing!

Kurt crawled out of bed and saw that Rachel was still fast asleep. Her mouth was hanging open and she was snoring softly. Not exactly a beauty queen today, and Kurt almost felt bad for her knowing how awful her hangover was going to hit her once she woke up.

He took a long shower, letting the hot water burn his skin, and the steam fill him up. He regained some semblance of sanity as he washed his hair, rubbing his scalp and cleaning his body. Kurt could do this, he just needed to suck it up.

Kurt got dressed into some nice crisp jeans and simple v-neck t-shirt. Kurt didn't want to give Blaine the impression that this was a date or it was really important to him or something by dressing in fabulous designer clothing. In reality, it was a huge deal, but Blaine didn't need to know that. He could remain blissfully unaware of how shaken to his core he made Kurt.

Kurt ducked his head as he made his way down the steep stairs into the little dollar store shop Rachel's uncle owned. There were a few customers walking around, viewing all the little trinkets and collectors items.

"Morning, Dave," Kurt greeted Rachel's uncle. He was the brother-in-law of one of Rachel's dads, so he didn't really bare any resemblance to Rachel. He looked up at Kurt and waved in greeting from the cash register, where he was counting his drawer.

Dave was a quiet man, always kept to himself. After his wife died of lymphoma 10 years ago, he never got remarried. He seemed content now, though. He was always smiling slightly, his kind eyes crinkled and his tan skin like leather from his side job of landscaping. He made a modest living, and was well liked by all the locals. He enjoyed the company of his niece and Kurt, and sometimes threw barbecues on his boat after a good day of fishing.

Kurt pushed the front door open, hearing the bell ding as he caught sight of Blaine crossing the street, who was actually wearing a shirt today. But it was tye-dye. Kurt was still really put off by how much Blaine had changed. Kurt eyed his dark, ripped jeans and flip flops. Blaine definitely beat him out in the casual department.

"Hey!" Blaine said cheerfully, jogging over to Kurt. He looked like he didn't even brush his hair, his curls were wild. Even as distasteful as Blaine's appearance sounded, Kurt thought in the back of his mind that it actually seemed to suit Blaine in a weird sort of way. It made him look even more like a puppy, with his eyes bright and shining, and his smile stretching across his whole face.

"Wanna get food instead?" Kurt asked, feeling his stomach rumble.

"Sure!"

"I know this great place, the best pizza you will ever eat I promise."

"I'm so in," Blaine said while licking his lips. Kurt couldn't help but follow the movements. Blaine's lips looked a little chapped, and Kurt kept having dirty thoughts of what would make them even more chapped.

Kurt shook his head to get out of his trance, and took Blaine's hand and led him a little ways down the street.

"Oh, Kurt can we get ice cream afterwards! Can we, can we?" Blaine was hopping up and down, causing Kurt to erupt into a giggle fit. It was probably the cutest thing he'd ever seen. Some things don't really change.

They ordered their greasy pizza and drank coke from giant glasses filled with ice. Kurt found himself in a really good mood, despite his restless night.

"You look a bit tired," Blaine commented. "Not that I'm saying you look bad, because you never do."

Kurt chuckled. "Yeah, I had a hard time sleeping."

Blaine took a big gulp of his drink. "Yeah, me too," he admitted.

Kurt looked at him questioningly, taking a delicious bite of his pizza.

"I was thinking about last night," Blaine lowered his voice. "And I need to come clean about something."

Kurt got nervous. He really didn't like the sound of that.

"We came to New York with other intentions besides just sightseeing," Blaine confessed.

Kurt inwardly cringed because 'we' meant him and James. So plural. Kurt and Blaine used to be like that.

Kurt gestured for him to continue, not really wanting to say anything.

"Well we've been basically all over America, or at least the places we wanted to visit. James and I were thinking we were going to get married here in New York, since you don't have to be a citizen anymore to do so. And plus, Vegas isn't really that romantic and maybe we can honeymoon out of the country, maybe Europe, because we've been dying to do that..."

Blaine rambled on and on, but Kurt's brain froze, Blaine's words going in ear and out the other. Marriage. Marry. Blaine was going to marry James. Soon. James wasn't just his boyfriend, but his fianc�e. The permanent sanction of legal binding that would make them Mr. and Mr. Anderson. Kurt's teenage dream was crushed. He thought his ears were going to explode, and the world would end at any second.

"Kurt? Kurt? Are you okay?" Blaine's voice penetrated his screaming thoughts.

"But. But. You," Kurt spluttered, succumbing to the urge of fighting for Blaine, even if it was hopeless. "Marriage, Blaine? Really? Do you really think you're ready for that kind of commitment?"

Blaine looked on edge. "I... I t-think so."

"But you almost kissed me last night!" Kurt protested on the brink of rage.

Blaine looked around because people turned to look at them curiously. Kurt wasn't exactly being quiet. Blaine lowered his voice so they wouldn't make a scene.

"I know, I was caught up in the moment, but that was a mistake. Old habits die hard I guess."

Kurt had enough. He dropped his napkin onto his half eaten pizza and stood up abruptly.

"I need to go, I forgot I had things to do today."

Blaine's eyes went wide with panic. "But you told me you had the day off-"

"Goodbye, Blaine," Kurt said swiftly before storming out of the pizzeria, hearing Blaine calling his name in his wake.