Doctors Need Mending Too

Chapter 4

I could smell the beads of sweat forming on my forehead just because of the stress of stopping myself from saying anything else. Blaine's right, I am in no place to tell how well he is doing. I haven't seen him in seven years! We sat in an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes, both us occasionally sipping at our still warm coffees and looking far out into the parking lot. It was only now that I've realized how rarely I've seen Blaine upset and how clueless I am at comforting him. A part of me felt guilty, now knowing just how good he was at making me feel better when I couldn't do the same. I'm not even sure how much longer we stayed in silence when his mobile started ringing.

"I'll take this outside." He said quietly before rising from his seat and walking out.

I felt my stomach tighten as I remembered that my father's probably done with his angiography and how he was. Blaine's probably talking to one of his co-residents by now. I craned my neck to look to where he was standing just outside the entrance of Lima Bean, with his phone on his ear. I can't make out what he was saying nor is his face giving out anything. The phone call may have just taken a couple of minutes but it felt so much longer than that.

I watched Blaine walk towards our table with an unreadable expression in his face. The knots in my stomach just grew tighter as I tried to stay calm.

"That was Ellie."

I couldn't reply.

"They found one artery in your dad's heart occluded."

I couldn't help the gasp the escaped my lips. I had to put a hand up against my mouth to stop myself from crying. That was when I saw the small smile forming at the corners of Blaine's lips and relief just flooded into me before he could say anything.

"Luckily, it wasn't as significantly occluded to require an open heart surgery. They proceeded with PTCA where then inserted a balloon stent into the vessel and opened the obstructed area. Your dad is going to be okay."

Involuntarily, I reached across the table almost knocking both of our coffee cups off and grabbed him by the head into a tight hug.

"Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

I hand to repeat it, I felt like I couldn't thank him enough.

He had a big smile across his face by the time I broke away.

"They are keeping him in our Telemetry Unit for the next twenty-four hours for close monitoring and will be transferred to a regular room around this time tomorrow."

"When can I see him?"

"Aw, sorry Kurt but Telemetry has a no visitor's policy."

"Oh." I looked down at the cup I was back to holding in disappointment.

"Lucky for you, you have a senior medical resident as a friend though."

My head shot back up, a wave of excitement rushing through me.

"But, let us let them do their job first alright? The first few hours would be critical. I'll take you in let's say a couple of hours? Take a break for now."

I nodded, understanding what is happening and just feeling grateful that Blaine could be so kind. He has already done too much.

"Do you need me to drive you home before I drive back to Westerville?"

"Are you kidding? The hospital is like an hour drive from your place, Blaine! Are you seriously going to drive back and forth just to pick me up? And have you even slept?"

Blaine's lips broke into a guilty grin before shaking his head.

"Well, you can hang out in my place." He offered.

"If that wouldn't creep you out or something." He added quickly.

"No it won't! Why would it?" A large group of noisy college girls walked in and it made a couple of heads turn. I just rolled my eyes and felt Blaine reach for my hand.

"We better go then, before you start making snarky comments about how loud college people could be too."

"Haha. Fine, Blaine Anderson." I said trying to act like I was offended but ended up with a chuckle myself. I pushed myself off my seat just as he did and walked out to the lot where his car was parked.

******

As Blaine explained on our drive, he had given up their old house as it was too big. After his father died, he convinced his mom to go back to the Philippines where she still had her siblings as he hated knowing she was all alone whilst he was busy at work and Cooper was never home.

We made a quick stop at a grocery store after I've talked him out of a hotdog sandwich lunch at the promise of a proper meal made by, yours truly. I knew he could never say no to my cooking and he looks like he's been living out of take outs for quite some time.

*****

"So, New York? How's life in the big city?" He asked out of the blue while stirring at the sauce of our spaghetti Bolognese as I prepare the water for the pasta. I couldn't help the excitement that formed in my stomach at the thought. I have loved New York since the first time I got there and the soul searching may have been challenging but I've found fashion, everything fell into place.

"NYADA was wonderful. But as what you may have already heard, designing clothes has always been my calling."

"You are amazing, you know that? The first time I saw your face on a local paper, I just couldn't help beam with pride. You've come so far Kurt."

My heart warmed at the thought that he's been updating himself of my whereabouts and how much detail of my career he knew was flattering.

"You own a freaking clothes line, Kurt."

"It's nothing big. It's in its humble beginnings." I responded, a little embarrassed.

"Big enough to make me proud, make everyone around who loves you proud." His smile was so genuine I could actually feel tears well behind my eyes because of the warmth he was radiating.

"That's really nice of you, Blaine. Thank you." I walked over to where he was and held his face with both hands feeling the roughness of his stubble beneath the pads of my fingers. I felt his head move closer ever so slightly and for a moment I thought he was leaning in for a kiss. I instinctively closed my eyes and waited only to be surprised and slightly disappointed that he pulled me into a tight hug.

"Now. We don't want the pasta soggy do we?" He asked and I snapped out of my mini-fantasy in an instant.

"Oh! Right. Yeah. I'm on it."

We ate our lunch in silence with Blaine having a large green and black book entitles "Principles of Internal Medicine" splayed beside his plate.

"Sorry. I've got a lot of catching up to do." He said apologetically before flipping another page and I waved him off with my left hand.

"You look adorable being geeky like this." I said.

He laughed and looked up from what he is reading to meet my gaze.

"I guess you've always been attracted to the dork in me too."

"I must admit, I love you being all charismatic, singing and dancing and all. But when I heard you get straight A's, I actually found it sort of hot."

"Ooooh, a thing for the smart ones then, huh, Mr. Hummel."

I stuck my tongue out and we both broke out laughing. A few moments later, I decided to stand up and pick up the plates to let Blaine go about with his reading. He placed both hands on the table top about to get up himself but I shooed at him to just go on with what he was doing as I attend to the dishes.

"It's okay. I'll handle it."

"Thank you, Kurt."

It took me about fifteen minutes to finish with all the dishes and slightly scrub on the tiny stains around Blaine's sink before I walked back in to the dining area where I was surprised to find Blaine still seated on the chair but with his forehead rested against the book he was supposedly reading, fast asleep. I considered waking him up but the sight of him sleeping was stirring old memories I couldn't hold back. He's always looked younger when he was asleep and looking at him now is making me remember just how I had the same habit of staring at him back in high school. We'd hang out at his house and he'd doze off in the middle of an algebra review and I'd watch him. Funny thing is, he still ends up with an A and I would have to settle for a B. He was my handsome, smart, funny and talented boyfriend.

-He used to be mine.

-And now we are strangers.

My heart sank at the realization. Back then, when he admitted to cheating, I was just so angry and I was sure I'd never be able to forgive him. But by Christmas that same year, I also concluded that I'll probably never be able to forget him. We stayed friends, but as most friends (or lovers for that matter) that have a thousand miles in between them, we grew apart.

But now that our paths have crossed again, it's easy to say that I've missed him and a part of me have always longed for him. I've been on several partly real but usually short lived relationships and I have now just realized that I've always compared them to him.

He was the first person I've ever really loved and basing from the way my relationship keeps ending up a flop, he's probably the only person I can really love.

My dad used to tell me to just go with the flow; that things will end up exactly the way it was planned for me. That everything happens for a reason. Is this it then? Is this what my dad has always called fate?

I could have continued staring at Blaine forever, but my bladder had other ideas. So I pushed myself off the semi-squatting positioned I have assumed to stare at him and walked around the apartment in search of the washroom. I walked down a short hall perpendicular to the kitchen entrance where I found a bedroom presumably Blaine's with its door ajar. I took a peak after a quick glance towards the dining area just to be sure I haven't woken him up. He had a wooded table and a chair just beside his bed and a cork board on top of it, with neatly pinned notes and picture I can't really make out from where I was standing. I raised my hand to hold the knob but decided against opening the door further knowing he wouldn't be very pleased to learn that I've been snooping.

I found the bathroom at the end of the hall and I entered quickly unzipping my fly before I gently closed the door, feeling like my bladder was literally about to explode. While doing my thing, I decided to look around the tiny bathroom, trying to imagine how Blaine was in here. Beside the bowl was a sink with a glass and a toothbrush poised at its side like he used to, on top was a mirror fixed to what seems to be a medicine cabinet. Everything was clean enough to satisfy me I guess. I pulled on my zip and flushed the toilet before moving towards the sink to wash my hands. I checked my hair and face on the mirror and when I was satisfied, I started my short walk back to the main room.

When I stepped into the dining area, Blaine was no longer on the seat and his book was closed. I could hear him talking, probably on the phone and followed his voice to a small balcony beyond a glassed door that opened to the front of his building. He was indeed on the telephone but was caught off guard when I saw what he had between the index and middle fingers of his left hand.

He was holding a damn cigarette.

He must have felt my eyes on him as he turned around, looking as surprised as I was, he quickly looked away. I heard him concluding whatever conversation he was having and I braced myself for whatever it was he had to say to me.

"Sorry, I know you hated smoking since the day you were born. I've been trying to stop the urge till you're gone but I guess, I just didn't last that long." He explained apologetically. He dropped his hand on an ash tray where a couple of other butts were already placed to crush his present stick. He whiffed his other hand across the air in an effort to clear the smoke before looking at me with a sad smile.

"You did too." I said.

"Sorry?" Of course he didn't get it, I was practically mumbling to myself.

"You said your dad smoked and coughed too much it's disgusting."

His eyes just grew sadder.

"I know. It started back in college. I should have believed the ads when the said it was very hard to stop."

"Oh, Blaine..." I tried taking a step towards him but he stopped me with his words.

"Messed up, Kurt. Remember?" He said pointing to his head.