I was surprised when the phone rang. I was even more surprised when I saw who was calling.

“Blaine?”

“Hi... Mah-mom.”

“Is everything ok?”

“Yeah. I, uh, just wah-wanted to te-te-te-te-tell you … sssssomething.”

“Ok. But you’re ok? You’re not hurt?”

“No, no, Mom.”

I hear him sigh and swallow, and knowing how much he hates talking on the phone, I can easily picture his face. “You didn’t have to call Blaine, you know you can always email or text.”

I hear a few deep breaths and I want to reach through the phone and hug him for how hard he tries. I want to squeeze him for how hard he’s working right now and every day and his whole life.

“No. I wwwanted to tell you ss-ss-ss-something. I-I-I mmm-met a guy. I-I-I want-want-wanted you to know.”

“A guy, Blaine? Like a friend? Or like a boyfriend?”

“Yes. A b-b-b-bah-bah-boy-boy... yes. Like that. I-I-I-I think. I-I-I … hope.”

“That’s wonderful! I’m so happy for you, bud. What’s his name?”

“Kurt. I mmmmet him in mmmy online class and then we, we, we, we mmm-met in real life. And I wah-wanted you to know. I wah-wanted to tell you, to tell you about him.”

We talk for a few more minutes. Blaine tells me a bit more about Kurt, about the date they went on the night before. After that, he tells me about speech therapy and about his classes and about the kids at work. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him so happy. I can hear his smile.

I don’t want to get off the phone with him, hearing his voice makes me miss him so much.
When we do hang up, I can’t help but cry a little. That was my boy on the phone. Telling me he’s happy, that he’s found someone that makes him happy.

I had started to wonder if I would ever hear him that happy.

~~~~~

After the night at the carnival and Kurt’s revelation about study abroad, the boys carve any minute they can find in their day for each other. They’re both busy, with varying schedules, but they work hard to see each other most days. Like on Tuesdays, Kurt walks over to the school where Blaine works and meets him. They eat the fastest dinner on earth together, usually pizza, standing up and then Blaine walks Kurt to his night class.

And there’s always Wednesday afternoons in the piano room. They attempt to do other things, but there’s not enough time, and they have more fun if they hang out together for 40 minutes by the piano, rather than trying to get lunch or something. Sometimes after Kurt’s late classes, he’ll meet Blaine at the library to study. They don’t talk much about Kurt’s semester abroad. It’s far away and abstract, but they know it’s looming and they both make the effort to spend time together while they can.

They spend most of their weekends together, but not always alone. Puck and Rachel are almost always around and Matt. And lately if Matt’s around Kerry is too. It seems like the wooing is over and the relationship has begun. Just like Blaine and Kurt.

Blaine’s life is suddenly full of people and things to do and Kurt. And happiness. It’s like happiness is a tangible object that he carries around with him. He smiles more, he sings in the shower, he makes more friends in class, he worries less about his stutter than he ever has in his whole life.

Telling his mom about Kurt was one of the best ideas he ever had. Coming clean like that, being up front, made him feel like he could do anything he wanted. The next time he calls home, his father answers and actually brings up Kurt to Blaine. He doesn’t say much on the subject, only a brief “So your mother tells me you’re seeing someone. That’s good, here talk to her.” But it’s something. And Blaine doesn’t have to hide.

~~~~~

During everything else that was happening in Blaine’s life, he had also been eyeing a certain project in one of his classes, specifically an oral presentation in his human development class the first week in October.

This class is slightly larger than most of his classes, closer to 100 students in it, making it easy to fade into the back row. He hadn’t bothered to go see the professor at office hours about his speech. Though he learned quickly during his first year of college that it was always better to approach his professors before being called on in class and having them assume he wasn’t paying attention when he doesn’t answer in a normal amount of time, it didn’t seem necessary in such a large lecture.

But when he realized the oral presentation was quickly approaching, he knew he needed to go see the professor. She always seemed nice enough in class.

Several days before the presentation, Blaine knocks on the door jam of her office and she looks up with a smile.

“Hi! You must be Blaine.” Though he’s feeling braver lately, he did send her an email, explaining his situation a bit and that he wanted to discuss his presentation with her.

He nods his head and smiles back.

She stands up and shakes his hand. “Nice to meet you. Please call me Natalie. Have a seat.”

“Sure.”

“So, tell me what your reservations are.”

“Um, the usual. Just www-www-what I ww-worry about. Uh, p-p-p-people not listening or l-l-laughing. I guess I-I-I wanted your advice. If I-I-I should mm-mm-meh-meh-mention my speech at the b-b-b-buh-ginning.”

“I think that’s a good idea, especially if it’ll make you more comfortable.”

“It usually dah-does.”

“Then I’m all for it. What else?”

“I-I-I rr-recently ssstarted going to a spa-spa-speech therapist again for the ffffirst time in a l-l-long time, so um, like, I wwwwas going to ask him to help me, me, me, me, wwith the presentation, if that’s ok. Nnnnot write it, just help with the actual, you know, ss-ss-peech part.”

“I don’t see any reason why it would be a problem. I know this won’t be easy for you, so honestly Blaine, whatever makes it more manageable. I’m really impressed that you aren’t begging to get out of it.”

Blaine shrugs and shakes his head. “Mmmmight as well try. I-I-I-I need to talk if I’m gonna bbbbbbbe a teacher.”

“They all want to be teachers too, Blaine. You realize that right?”

“Yes.”

“Even if they’re not patient people right now, they’re going to have to learn a lot about patience in the next few years. And they’re going to have to learn to listen to what children, and people in general, say and not how they say it.”

“Yes.”

“So really, you’re kind of a good learning tool for me,” she says. And getting a cue from the face he just made, she continues, “Don’t worry, I’m not going to use you as a lesson or anything. I won’t draw any more attention to you. But try not to be so nervous about it, ok? I think you’re going to do fine.”

“Th-th-thank you.” He says in relief.

“I’m glad you came to talk to me about this, Blaine. I could tell there was something holding you back in class. You always looked so engaged, but you never had anything to say.”

“St-st-story of mmmmy l-l-life.”

~~~~~

On the day of his presentation, Blaine feels ready. And nervous, but mostly ready. He and Chad worked on finding the right words. Chad didn’t let Blaine water down the meaning in the least. It’s a good presentation, a solid look at the subject and Blaine hopes that’s enough.

Blaine and Chad also came up with a strategy, where if given the opportunity, Blaine would volunteer to go first and get it over with. This way he wouldn’t have to spend the entire class period worrying. He would be able to get it over with and then try to relax when he was done.

“Alright, who’s up first? Any takers?” Natalie says as she gets class started.

Blaine’s hand shoots up before he can think any further about it and the next thing he knows he’s at the podium, giving his presentation.

~~~~~

A moment of Blaine’s Professor

Wow.

I’m very, very impressed with him. I don’t think he even realizes how well he’s doing. It’s so rare to find a student who’s actually interested in what they’re talking about.

And maybe it’s the mom in me, but even if this completely sucked, I would totally give this kid an A+++++++++ for showing up and doing something that obviously made him uncomfortable. Truth be told, I would have totally let him out of this presentation, if he’d asked. But I certainly wasn’t going to offer, particularly once I saw how determined he was.

He has great emphasis. I think kids will really take to that. I mean, taking a quick look around this room and there are only like 5 losers (yes, losers, they’re losers if they’re ignoring this kid) not paying attention. Even I usually have 10 that are sleeping, so he’s doing something right.

The way he uses his gestures, facial expressions and body language to really get his point across makes me feel like he would be great at sign language. I wonder if he’s ever considered it. It’s such a marketable skill for teachers.

I wonder if he has an advisor...

I touch his arm as he passes and I smile what I hope is my most reassuring smile, I don’t need him panicking for the next hour, and ask him to stay for a few minutes after class.

I can see in his eyes it wouldn’t matter how reassuring I was, he still assumes the worst.

~~~~~

In what seems like a blink, Natalie is giving him the “time’s up” signal and Blaine is back at his desk. Slightly shaky, a little sweaty, but no worse for the wear. He thought he actually did quite well, though as he walked past, Natalie touched his arm and asked him to stay to talk to her for a minute after class. That didn’t thrill him, but at least the presentation is over.

He hangs back a few minutes and then approaches her.

“Did I-I-I dah-dd-do ssssomething wrong?” Blaine asks.

Natalie looks surprised. “Not in the least. That was a fantastic presentation. Everyone was really listening.”

“They were?” She can tell that makes Blaine almost as nervous as the presentation itself did.

“Yeah, they really were. But I wanted to ask you something. Have you ever considered learning sign language?”

“Be-be-be-because … my, my, my speech is so bbbbad?” Blaine asks, with such a confused and downtrodden look on his face. “Mmmmaybe I shouldn’t talk? Anymore?”

“No Blaine! That’s not it at all. You really do know how to find the negative don’t you?”

“It’s a ttttalent,” Blaine responds with a knowing head bob.

“I only mention it because I think you might be really good at signing. You already use so much of your body when you communicate, your hands, your eyes, your facial expressions. While your mouth works hard, your body works harder. You get your point across even when words escape you.”

“I do?” His face is suddenly so open, so inquisitive and so very relieved.

“You do. It’s quite impressive and I think it’s something you might want to explore. You could minor in it. It’s actually a great skill for teachers to have, incredibly useful. And I really do think you’d be remarkable at it.”

“Huh. It sssssounds kind of cool.”

Natalie smiles at him then, and decides to ask the question that had been niggling at the back of her brain since Blaine showed up at her office hours last week.

“Why do you want to be a teacher, Blaine?”

“Um. Well, I-I-I lllike kids and I’m pp-pp-pretty good at talking to, to, to, uh them.”

“Anything else?”

He draws in a breath and trains his eyes on his hands, but decides he can do this, he can say what he needs to say while he maintains eye contact, so he looks up. “Yeah. I dd-dd-dd-didn’t always have the mmm-most … compassionate teachers. However, the ones who were kind rr-rr-really mmmmattered to me and they really may-may-made a difference. And ss-ss-someday I’d like to may-make a ddd-ddd-difference, for a kid like mmmme.”

Natalie nods her head, encouragingly, somehow knowing, inferring, there’s something else he wants to say.

“Kids who have pppproblems, not just with their ss-ss-ss-speech, bb-bb-but um, any kind of problem, ss-ss-sometimes they get ssssskipped over, cause it’s easier to, to, to turn away. I wah-wah-want to, uh, be there and mmmmake sure that ssssomeone looks out for them, too. Be-be-be-because everyone is worth it. Every kid is worth it.” He feels like he got awfully emotional during that little speech. He hopes Natalie can’t tell. But he really believes in this, he really believes in helping kids. (And he seriously can’t wait to tell Chad that he told his professor all of this while actually looking her directly in the eye.)

He waits for Natalie to say something, to maybe even tell him he’s being a bit dramatic or that she’s sure all of his teachers were wonderful people with good hearts. What she does say takes him by complete surprise and makes him very happy.

“Do you have an advisor, Blaine? Because if you don’t I would be honored if you’d let me be yours.”

He didn’t have an advisor, but he does now.

~~~~~

Kurt makes a point of meeting Blaine after his Human Development class the day of his presentation. He finds a seat on a bench across the courtyard from the classroom building. He watches for Blaine amongst the groups of people that come out. But he’s not there. Kurt finally spots Blaine about 10 minutes after the class ended. Head down, shoulders hunched, hands pocketed, his face stoic. Blaine against the world. In barely a month’s time, Kurt had almost forgotten about this Blaine. He takes one more second to watch him from afar and then calls “Blaine!”

Blaine looks up cautiously, but when his eyes land on Kurt, the mask he was wearing falls away, his face bursting into a smile. He jogs over to Kurt and pauses momentarily and takes a surreptitious glance around, before swooping in to kiss Kurt’s cheek and sits down on the bench next to him.

“Hi,” Blaine says, a bit breathless.

“Hiya. Were you looking for the paparazzi or something?”

“No, I wanted to, uh, uh, uh,” Blaine’s stuck, so Kurt rubs his hand down Blaine’s arm and just waits it out.

“Are you... are you my... bbb-bbb-boyfriend?” Blaine asks, looking at Kurt, his face a picture of innocence. As Blaine was walking out of class, he was thinking that today was such a good day, that he should embrace it and ask Kurt if they’re dating. And then Kurt was there, waiting for him, and the sentence burst out of his mouth.

Kurt’s jaw drops a little, surprised that Blaine would actually have the nerve to bring this up.

“I-I-I’m sorry,” Blaine says, looking away from Kurt. Now he feels dumb. He thought he was getting better at being around Kurt. He thought he could ask him questions like this and that Kurt would always be nice to him about it, even it was awkward. But Kurt isn’t saying anything and Blaine feels like a fool. He should have worded it differently. It’s so dorky. He shouldn’t have asked.

“I-I-I’m sorry. I-I-I shouldn’t have asked. That ww-ww-ww-was weird. I’m ssssssorry.”

“Blaine.”

“I’m sssorry. You ddd-dd-don’t have to answer mmme. I’m ss-ss-so stupid.”

“Blaine.”

“You don’t ww-ww-want to be my bbb-bbb-boy... Obviously. You ww-ww-wouldn’t want to.”

“Blaine.” As Blaine starts to talk again, Kurt puts his hand over his mouth. “Stop. You didn’t even give me a chance to say anything. Of course, I want to be your boyfriend. I am your boyfriend. Do you hear me?” Kurt’s hand is still over Blaine’s mouth. “Nod if you understand.”

Blaine nods and Kurt can feel his mouth crack into a smile.

“Are you better now?” Kurt asks as he pulls his hand away.

“Yes.” Blaine says, his cheeks still stained pink, but looking much less panic stricken.

“Good.”

“I’m glad you’re mmmy, my, … that,” Blaine replies with a smile. “I-I-I told mmmy mom you were and I didn’t www-want it to uh, be, be a lie.”

“You talked to your mom? On the phone?” Kurt raises an eyebrow at Blaine.

“Um, yeah,” Blaine scrunches his nose and can’t quite me Kurt’s eyes.

Kurt gives Blaine’s arm a squeeze. “Well then. I’m very impressed with my boyfriend. But, I was thinking we could call each other something else? Something that isn’t a b-word?” Kurt takes out his phone, “I’ve been keeping a list of possibilities.”

Blaine is taken aback, as usual, by Kurt’s thoughtfulness, his ability to know and say and do exactly what Blaine needs. Kurt shows Blaine the short list in the notes on his phone:

steady
heartthrob
dearest
young man
fella

“What do you think?” Kurt asks.

“Oh, I-I-I like, uh, all of them,” Blaine answers.

“Um. No. Unacceptable. You pick the one that you’re comfortable SAYING. Even if it’s just what we say to each other.”

“I like fella. I wah-wah-want to call you mmmy fella. It’s so ... old ff-fashioned.”

“I like that one too, fella.” The smile at each other for a minute and Kurt asks again, “So, how did the presentation go, fella?”

“Good, like rr-rr-really good. My professor, uh, asked if I ww-wanted her to be, be, be, be my advisor.”

“Well that’s good. You couldn’t have bombed then. Do you think you talked ok?”

“Yeah. I rr-rr-rreally think I did. It was over really fast and, and, and then, Nnnnatalie, that’s the professor, she asked if I could ss-sss-stay and talk to her after class and she asked mmmme why I www-wah-wanted to bb-bb-be a teacher. She also ss-ss-suggested that mmmaybe I should try learning ss-ss-ss-sign language.”

“Really? Why?”

“She said I use so mmm-mm-many gestures to, to, to, to talk already, that it might be a natural fit for mmme.”

“Huh. I have to agree. I’ve often thought that you say a lot with body language. Your eyes, your hands. I think it’s a really cool idea. Are you going to look into it?

“Yeah, I-I-I think I will.”

“So what’s on your agenda now?”

“Speech. BOOOOO,” Blaine says in a loud, silly voice. “I just www-www-want to hang out ww-ww-with you.”

“I could walk you, but you’d have to stop pouting.” Kurt stands then and holds out his hand to Blaine who takes it and pops up off the bench in a way that makes them both laugh.

“Ok and you can come mm-mm-meet Chad. I think he thinks that I may-may-mm-made you up. Anytime I tt-tt-talk about you he’s like,” here Blaine pauses and changes his facial expression, “Sure Blaine, he sounds like the perfect guy for you.” He says this flawlessly, in a deeper voice and a slight New York accent.

“I find it amazing how when you do impressions you don’t stutter.”

“I love it. Bb-bb-but you can’t l-l-l-live your life impersonating other p-p-p-people.”

“Impersonate me.”

Blaine stops walking and giggles and then affects a completely different posture. “Oh Blaine. you’re so cute and dumb and endearing,” he chimes in a slightly higher voice, again without even the smallest block, not even on his name.

“I don’t talk like that!” Kurt says indignantly. “I don’t sound like that!”

Blaine makes his little half and half hand gesture. “Sssssometimes that’s how you tt-tt-talk to me. But it makes me happy.” He bites his lip because he feels like his smile is growing exponentially and it’s starting to feel like it could split his face open if it gets any bigger.

“I’ve never called you dumb,” Kurt declares.

“I-I-I know, bb-bb-bah-but if you did you’d mmm-mean it in the nicest ww-way possible.”

“I suppose if it makes you happy then it makes me happy,” Kurt says and the boys continue on their way.