~~~~~

To: lists.english@nyu.edu
From: j.margolies@faculty.nyu.edu
Date: Wed, Sept 17, 11:37 am
Subject: Cancellation of Classes

I’ll be canceling my Wednesday (9/17) & Thursday (9/18) classes due to a family emergency.

When we reconvene next week, we’ll discuss revisions to the syllabus.

Your reaction papers are due in the next class, or feel free to drop them in my mailbox in the English building if you’d rather get it over with.

Sorry for the short notice. I apologize for the inconvenience, but it was unavoidable.

-Jeff

~~~~~

He walks into the piano room with a smile on his face and finds Kurt there, lounging backward on the piano bench, elbows leaning on the keyboard cover.

Kurt smiles when Blaine walks through the door, “Hey there Blaine.” Blaine just says a quiet “hi” and hands Kurt his non-fat mocha.

“Looks like you’re not going to end up with a rogue-ish face scar,” Kurt comments, as he examines what’s left of the scratches on Blaine’s cheek.

“Not so mu-mu-much.”

“So are you feeling particularly patient today? Because I am ready to tackle more of ‘this is up, this is down, let’s go up and down.’ It’s my new favorite song, it’s been stuck in my head all week.” Kurt sings the little song that Blaine taught him last week while they were playing. Blaine kind of hates to admit that it makes his heart swell with pride. And it gives him just enough confidence to ask Kurt a question.

Blaine clears his throat, “Well. Um. Ww-what do you usually dah-dah-do on Wednesday afternoons?”

“Waste time until I have class at 6. Go back to my apartment and pretend to be a productive member of society while I watch whatever marathon is happening on Oxygen. When I’m lucky it’s America’s Next Top Model season 4. Sometimes I nap.”

“Www-what happens if you’re nn-nn-not lucky?”

“It’s season 13. I hate those bitches.”

“Mmmy afternoon class just got, got, got canceled,” Blaine pauses here and takes a breath, cursing himself for feeling nervous about this. “So, um, if you ww-ww-wwanted we, uh, uh, could,” throat clearing, jaw clenching, neck roll, “hang out or ss-ss-something.” He puffs his breath out and shakes his head, but looks over to Kurt, who’s smiling. “Or you could go home and www-watch Tyra,” Blaine finishes with a shrug.

“I think Tyra can wait. You don’t have work on Wednesdays?”

“No, I wouldn’t may-may-may-make it there on tt-tt-tt-time after this class.”

“Well, now that we have all of our scheduling issues out of the way, what shall we do with our found afternoon?”

Blaine shrugs again, he never made it that far into a plan.

“Lunch?” Kurt asks.

“Lunch,” Blaine agrees.

The boys decide to just pick up a pizza on the way and go hang out at Kurt’s. Kurt texts Rachel to see if she wants anything, but it turns out she has to work.

When the boys get to Kurt’s apartment, Blaine is quiet, passive, but not disinterested. Kurt’s starting to understand more about the subtleties of the way Blaine communicates. Kurt dumps the pizza on the coffee table and asks Blaine what he wants to drink.

Blaine does a triple blink, head shake, lip tightening, which Kurt can already tell you with confidence means “My voice seems to have taken a powder, but don’t mind me. Go about your business. It’ll come back, it always does.” Blaine-nese is a language of subtlety and much repetition. He shrugs so Kurt ushers him in the kitchen and lets Blaine just pick from what they have.

They sit down on the couch, not too far from each other, but far enough so they’re not touching. Kurt tells Blaine he just has to know which season is on today, and it’s season 8. “Oh! Jaslene!” Kurt exclaims as he settles into the couch cushions.

“I-I-I’ve nnn-nnn-never actually watched this show,” Blaine says.

“Well, it’s not the best, but it’s crazy and Tyra’s full of awesome cliches like ‘You have all of the potential in the world!’ And the girls are usually nuts and Mr. Jay and Miss Jay are awesome and I make all sorts of wonderfully hilarious comments about it, so I’m sure you’ll love it.”

Blaine side eyes Kurt and his enthusiasm warily through first couple of minutes, but he can’t help laughing as Kurt makes cutting and sarcastic remarks. Up until now Blaine has been so reserved around Kurt. So quiet, so embarrassed, but for whatever reason, Blaine seems downright giddy as he gets comfortable on the couch in Kurt’s living room. Still not talkative by most people’s standards, but his energy and his smile and his infectious laugh speak volumes.

They talk while they eat and watch several hours of mindless television. Blaine tells Kurt a little more about his job at aftercare and the new songs he and Matt have been working on. He asks Kurt interesting and probing and amusing questions and really listens to the things Kurt says. Sometimes Blaine responds with words and other times he responds with low whistles, hums, nods and several times with a movement that can only be described as an eyebrow shrug.

Kurt watches Blaine watch tv out of the corner of his eye and thinks back to the first time he really met Blaine. At that point, Kurt was amazed by how much Blaine said with his eyes, but that was before he spent more than an hour with him. It’s not just his eyes, Blaine seems to have developed an entire language of hand gestures and facial expressions. Blaine says far more with the scrunch of his nose or a flick of his fingers than most people can ever hope to. Kurt is pretty sure they could have a whole conversation with Kurt speaking and Blaine just gesticulating wildly. And it would not only be a very fun way to spend time, but it would also be fairly informative.

The afternoon wears on, companionably. Both boys are surprised when it’s 5:30 and Kurt needs to leave for class.

As they’re walking down the stairs, Kurt says “Rachel’s having people over Friday night. Puck’s going to be there, of course. I’ve been going back and forth between desperately wanting to flee the premises or just sucking it up and hanging out with them, again.” Kurt had explained to Blaine earlier that Rachel recently started seeing one of their friends from high school and Kurt keeps getting dragged into things because they both refuse to acknowledge the fact that they’re together. So they use Kurt like a chaperone. “Maybe it would be more fun if you were there,” Kurt says with a little smile.

“How mmmmmany people are go-go-going?” Blaine hates that that’s the first thing that pops out of his mouth. He should have just said yes.

“I don’t know. Like 15, maybe 20? I don’t know if that many people would really even fit in this place. If you’re not comfortable, don’t worry about it. Or, I don’t know, do you want to ask Matt to come too? I’d really like you to come.”

Blaine nods, “Yeah, sssssounds good.”

He walks back to the dorm whistling all of his favorite songs.

~~~~~

On Friday night, Matt and Blaine walk over to Kurt’s apartment with Blaine actually babbling. Matt has never heard Blaine waste words before. Usually Blaine only speaks with purpose but tonight it’s like he can’t stop talking.

“Since when are you a nervous talker?” Matt finally asks.

“Am I-I-I bbbbeing a nervous talker? Shit.” Blaine replies.

“You are a little. I’m just trying to figure out why.”

“I think I’m rah-rah-really excited to go. To, to Kurt’s.”

“Yes, Blaine, that’s quite obvious.”

“Is it bbbbad? Am I talking ww-worse than usual?”

“Actually, you’re talking better than usual I think. Though most of the time I don’t really notice when you stutter, so I’m not the person to ask.”

Blaine makes a quiet considering noise in his throat. “I-I guess I’m just happy. That Kurt wah-wanted me tah-tah-to come over.”

When they get buzzed in, Blaine’s whole persona shifts as they walk up the stairs. Matt’s seen him do this a hundred times. Being happy and excited one minute, then shifting quickly into “Public Blaine.” That’s what Matt calls him at least. “Public Blaine” is quite the tight lipped fellow.

Matt stops Blaine on the first landing to give him a brief pep talk. “You’ll be fine. Kurt wanted you to come, you sort of know Rachel and I’m here. Everything’s going to be fine. And we can leave whenever you want.”

Blaine just gives a twitchy head nod blink, which is a very clear indication that he’s terrified. Matt ruffles his hair, which always pisses Blaine off.

“Fuck you! My my my hair was ppp-perfect.”

“Now it’s better. Kurt will love it.”

Blaine gives him a reprimanding look that just makes Matt laugh and the boys go the rest of the way up to find Kurt’s door slightly ajar and the noise of people and music just inside.

They walk through the small entrance hallway and into the living room. Blaine looks around for Kurt’s familiar figure. He spots him near the couch talking to a bigger guy with a shaved head, who is casually strumming a guitar. Just seeing a guitar somehow puts Blaine a little more at ease. And the look on Kurt’s face when he notices Blaine across the room, that definitely puts Blaine at ease.

Kurt waves him over and Blaine feels a rush go through his head. He hates this part. But Matt’s here, Matt’s here if Blaine can’t say his name when he needs to. Matt’s here to make a joke or divert attention when Blaine can’t quite get his voice working.

They make their way over to where Kurt is and Matt puts his hand out to shake. Blaine keeps forgetting that Matt and Kurt hadn’t technically met yet. They’re almost always in the same place at the same time, but somehow the official meeting never happens. Then Kurt introduces both Matt and Blaine to the infamous Puck.

“Sup guys,” Puck says, the picture of nonchalance. Blaine wishes he could seem that cool about anything. Ever.

Blaine feels like Puck is giving him a weird look but maybe that’s just because Blaine’s feeling awkward. Or maybe Rachel, or even Kurt, decided to “warn” Puck about Blaine’s speech. People (his parents) do that sometimes and it makes things better and worse at the same time.

Kurt offers to get Matt and Blaine a drink and they move with him to the kitchen, where they both accept a beer. Blaine still hasn’t really said anything, but Matt and Kurt are chatting like long lost friends. He’s pretty sure they’re making fun of him right now.

“Wait, wwwhat?” Blaine asks, zoning back into the conversation.

“Matt was just saying that you’ve decided to become a nervous talker,” Kurt replies.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Matt says. “I just mentioned that you wouldn’t shut up on the way here and now you’re silent Blaine, holy Blaine.”

Blaine gives them both the finger.

“Yes, that’s nice Blaine. Bravo,” Matt says.

“Very classy,” Kurt agrees.

Kurt turns to Blaine then, wanting to find the boy behind the mask and engage him. “I’m glad you wanted to come.”

Blaine nods, in way a way that he hopes screams “ALL I WANT TO DO IS SPEND TIME WITH YOU.” He’s pretty sure the message falls short.

Matt wanders away then, feigning knowledge of some random person in the living room. Matt can talk to pretty much anyone. Within 5 minutes he and Puck are discussing the fact that owning multiple guitars is in no way redundant, no matter what their moms say. In those same five minutes, Blaine has said nothing.

Rachel comes over to officially introduce herself to Blaine, so Kurt takes the opportunity to excuse himself to the bathroom. He’s worried to leave Blaine alone, but he figures Rachel will blabber on for at least a few minutes.

~~~~~

A Moment with Matt & Kurt

Kurt’s coming out of the bathroom when Matt pushes him back through the door.

“Well, this a little awkward,” Kurt remarks.

“I know,” Matt agrees. “But this might be the one chance all night for us to talk without Blaine lurking and I wanted to give you a couple tips.”

“Did you leave him alone?” Kurt asks, voice just a touch concerned.

“No, no. Rachel is still regaling him with the full story of your high school glee club,” Matt says. “Something about Quinn having a baby and you guys losing regionals?”

“That’s only the end of sophomore year,” Kurt nods. “We have plenty of time.”

“Okay, good. So, Blaine,” Matt continues. “He really likes you. And I’m definitely breaking the friend code and I definitely shouldn’t be talking to you about this, but I think he’ll thank me in the end.”

“Okay...” Kurt prompts.

“There are several things you need to know. He’s pretty much paralyzed with fear around you. When he’s being shy, tease him. Ruffle his hair or call him short. He’s not actually sensitive about either of those things, but he puts on a good act and he forgets to be shy. Don’t be afraid to kick him the ass. Not literally, but sometimes he just needs to hear the truth. If he’s blocked, make him laugh, it changes his breathing or something and usually he can talk after that. I know I don’t have to say this, but I’m a little protective of him, so don’t ever make fun of his stutter or else I will stab you in your sleep. Don’t ever tell him I talked to you about this stuff, or else he will stab me in my sleep.” Matt lets out a long breath.

“Wow. OK. That’s a lot to take in,” Kurt says. “Also some violence. But I totally understand why you want to protect him.”

“Oh, and really good going with the interludes thing.” Matt is giving Kurt double thumbs up. “I think he’s about to cross stitch that shit on a pillow.”

“I honestly have no idea where it even came from, but I really do feel that way.”

“Well, it worked. BIG TIME. Good luck, my friend,” Matt says in conclusion, as he pats Kurt on the shoulder and slips out of the bathroom.

~~~~~

Blaine feels like he hasn’t talked in hours. He didn’t have to say much to Rachel, she could pretty much carry on a conversation with an inanimate object. She had to go play hostess though, so he’s left standing by himself until Kurt gets back.

When Kurt returns, Blaine is leaning against the counter. Kurt smiles and leans next to him, just close enough that when Blaine tips his beer to his mouth his elbow brushes Kurt. Blaine inhales deeply and bites his lip, trying to discern which letters are working tonight. B’s aren’t working, of course, but he thinks that m’s should be ok and w’s probably. R’s were a little off earlier, but Matt also told him that he didn’t think Blaine was stuttering as bad as usual. He’s almost done with his second beer and that should loosen him up soon.

Kurt shifts and leans a little closer to Blaine. Kurt has been surprisingly quiet, not trying to keep up a one-sided conversation with Blaine or a steady stream of consciousness. Just patiently waiting, because he seems to sense that Blaine is working through something.

Blaine shifts a little too and now their shoulders are touching. He considers commenting on the beer, but that seems unnecessary, and then he’d have to say the word “beer” which is just a bad idea. Maybe if they stand here, gradually moving towards each other all night long, they won’t have to say anything at all. They’ll just end up standing in the kitchen, hopefully making out, because eventually they’ll be close enough for that, and right now, even just this barest shoulder touch is making Blaine dream of Kurt’s lips on his.

Blaine makes another shift, just the barest movement and now their upper arms are pressed together. He moves his beer to his other hand and takes a swig, looking over at Kurt. Kurt’s looking at him, with just the barest hint of a smirk twitching at his lips. Blaine bobs his head and smiles a tight-lipped smile that quickly turns into a laugh when a laugh bubbles out of Kurt. Blaine looks down and swipes his hand along the back of his neck, feeling sheepish. When he looks back up, there’s suddenly a person in front of them.

“Blaine!” Rachel yelps. “I still have to finish my story. Kurt really came through for us senior year at nationals. It definitely has a happy ending.”

Blaine stands up fully to talk to Rachel and Kurt rests his arm along the counter where Blaine had just been slumped. Both Blaine and Kurt are still weirdly giggly, but since there’s no reason for the giggling Rachel just gives them each a confused look.

“Oh, yeah. Sure,” Blaine says, feeling like there’s cotton in his mouth. The very nearness of Kurt, along with making him giggly, had also made him feel sort of sleepy and excited at the same time. Must be Kurt’s soothing effect on him. And maybe the second beer that he pretty much just chugged.

Rachel notices his beer is empty and hands him a new one. She realizes then that she was sort of interrupting something. “Well, maybe later. I’ll let you two get back to … whatever it is you’re doing.” And she wanders away from them with just a befuddled grin in their direction.

Blaine goes back to his slumped stance against the counter and this time Kurt’s arm is pretty much around his waist. Kurt’s fingers find the edge of Blaine’s sleeve, and gently, so very gently, he starts running his fingertips up and down the back of Blaine’s arm. “Is this ok?” Kurt whispers, his mouth suddenly close to Blaine’s ear. And Blaine nods, as a little shiver runs up his spine.

“Are, are you not drinking?” Blaine asks, quietly, trying not to ruin the magic of this moment with his poor conversational skills. But he desperately wants to hear Kurt’s voice and feel his warm breath in his ear again. And he’s happy to realize that the alcohol is working its magic on his speech.

“Rachel likes to pre-game, so she made us cosmos earlier. She has a thing for pink drinks,” Kurt’s voice is like a purr in Blaine’s ear. “I had a few, though I’m not the best drinker. The first time I ever really drank, I had way too much.”

Blaine raises his eyebrows questioningly.

“Fine. The full story is that I threw up on a guidance counselor when I was sophomore in high school.”

“Re-really?” Blaine smiles at the thought of little Kurt. Then he smiles wider at the thought of Drunk Little Kurt.

“It was not my finest moment.”

Blaine is really starting to feel the effects of the beer. He’s leaning even more on the counter now, much closer to Kurt, and he’s counting all the places on his body that are currently in contact with the boy next to him. His thigh, his shoulder, Kurt’s fingertips on the back of his arm that are making his knees weak. He wants to be less of passive participant in the touching though, but he can’t think of anything to do, nothing that wouldn’t seem awkward.

People move from the breakfast island then and Kurt nudges Blaine towards the stools. Kurt drags the stools against the wall, so they’ll be able to pretty much see the whole apartment. Blaine hops up and before Kurt takes a seat, he grabs a few beers from the fridge. “Now we won’t have to move again for a while.” Then Kurt makes a point of putting his stool right up against Blaine’s and settling in. Blaine grabs one of the beers Kurt just brought over and leans his head against the wall, turning so he’s looking at Kurt.

Kurt has just opened the other beer and takes a sniff, wrinkling his nose, but then takes a swig anyway. Kurt crosses his legs and turns his body towards Blaine. “So where were we?”

“You, you threw up on a … guidance counselor.” Blaine says with grin.

“Oh, that. These things happen, it’s like a right of passage.”

The boys spend the next few hours talking almost non-stop, getting tipsier and tipsier. They still haven’t kissed, but they’ve been in almost a constant state of physical contact. Knees pressed together, warm hands on each other’s legs, heads leaned in close while whispers are exchanged. Everything’s a little blurry for both of them at this point, but they’re not so drunk as to not know what they’re doing.

Kurt’s not sure how Blaine would feel about their first kiss being quite so public. He’s fairly certain that that’s where the night is heading, and that Blaine wants to kiss him, but some people feel there is a time and a place for these things, and even drunk, Kurt wants to respect that.

As it gets later, Kurt gets up to say goodbye to people and Matt wanders over to see if Blaine wants to stay or go. Before Kurt walks away though, he puts a hand on Blaine’s chest and leans in to whisper, “You could stay a little longer. If you feel like hanging out.”

For about the millionth time today, Blaine nods, enthusiastically.

When Kurt walks out of earshot, Blaine turns to Matt and says “I-I think I’ll stay, a little lllll-longer. You can go.”

“You think you’re gonna hit that tonight?” Matt jokes, with a mocking leer and a suggestive eyebrow wiggle. Blaine blushes and punches Matt in the kidney. “Ow, jeez man, I was kidding.”

“Vulgar,” Blaine retorts.

“So stay, shoot me a text if you decide to stay much, much, much longer, so I know you’re not dead or whatever. Definitely shoot me a text if you decide to move in with him.”

“Such caring, suh-suh-such concern, Matthew,” Blaine says with a grin. Rachel comes through then and Matt says goodbye and heads out the door.

“Blaine,” Rachel says seriously, “Kurt wanted me to tell you that he spilled wine on his pants and he is currently changing, blotting and pre-treating but that he will be with you in a moment. Technically, I spilled wine on his pants. I was supposed to mention that part.”

Blaine nods and settles into the couch to wait. He’s nervous, he doesn’t know what Kurt wants from him. Like, he can kind of guess, but he can’t quite think about what might happen next.

“Now I’m going to shower, where I will no longer be able to hear Kurt’s huffing and puffing about those fugly pants he was wearing tonight, that I supposedly ruined, but really I did him a favor. Puck’s around, so just hang.” At that moment, Puck comes back out to living room and brushes a hand across Rachel’s back. She tells him her plan and Puck sits in the chair across from the couch and picks up his guitar again.

Blaine smiles at Puck, briefly, but then lets himself zone out a bit, going back to his earlier train of thought. He really wants to kiss Kurt. And he knows that Kurt won’t make him do anything he’s not ready for, but Blaine’s nervous. He’s nervous about a hundred different things. And he’s starting to sober up a bit. Maybe another beer would help. Or maybe he should have just gone home with Matt. But Kurt asked him to stay.

While Blaine ponders his issues, Puck glances over at him several times. He quietly strums the guitar until he hears the water turn on in the shower. Then Puck puts down the guitar and leans forward in his seat.

"So, Kurt and Rachel tell me you’re a good guy. Whatever. Sorta sounds to me like you were a dick to Kurt."

“Um, uh, I...” Blaine starts to reply, but he’s not sure what Puck might want in this situation. Should he deny it? Or maybe agree? Maybe he’s not a good guy? Why is Puck so intimidating? Blaine is vaguely panic stricken. Did Kurt tell Puck that Blaine was a dick? He thought Kurt said everything was ok? Kurt asked him to wait, isn’t everything ok?

“I know you guys kissed and made up or whatever and he claims to like you, but I’ve made it my life’s work to make sure he never has a repeat of the shitstorm that happened in high school. He's into douchebags. I'm not. Don’t fuck with him or you'll deal with me. Got it?”

“Yeah. I-I-I thought, uh, nnn-nnn-nevermind,” Blaine keeps glancing down the hall to Kurt’s room, hoping that he’ll emerge. In the meantime, though he can’t help asking, “Ww-ww-what happened in high sssssschool?”

“I’m pretty sure that’s Kurt’s story to tell you. But it fucked him up royally for a while, so you better not mess around with him. Moral of the story, don’t be a dick.”

Blaine realizes then that he pretty much wants to be anywhere but right here. He’s completely overwhelmed. “Can you tell-tell Kurt I … had tah-tah-tah-tah-to go?”

Puck nods once and Blaine is out the door without a glance behind him.

A minute later, Kurt comes back into the living room.

“Where did Blaine go?” Kurt asks when he looks around the living room to find Puck playing his guitar and no one else around.

“I dunno. Home? Or some shit.”

“What did you do, Puck?”

“Nothing! I mean, I told him not to be a dick to you ever again or I’d mess him up.”

“Seriously? Seriously! Why would you do that?” Kurt can feel the steam rising in his blood. He gives Puck a long hard stare. And then hits him with a rolled up magazine.

“Da fuck Kurt? I was like defending your honor!”

Kurt yells “RACHEL!!! I just killed Puck. I hope you don’t mind!”

Rachel comes running into the room wearing just a towel. “What? What the hell? Is there a fire?”

“No, your sort-of, sometimes boyfriend just told my painfully shy and socially awkward new almost-boyfriend that he was going to quote, unquote ‘mess him up.’”

“NO-AH! WHY?” Rachel yells.

“I just wanted him to know not to mess with Kurt! He seemed kind of like an asshole to me. Like all shifty eyed,” Puck retorts.

“So you threatened him? I told you that Blaine wasn’t dicking Kurt around!” Rachel exclaims. “He wrote Kurt a letter and sang him a song and he was just nervous about Kurt finding out he stuttered! And it was so cute, I cried!”

“That would explain why he looked so fucking terrified. And why he kept stuttering. I thought something was wrong with him,” Puck says earnestly.

“I hate you,” Kurt says.

“I think I hate you too,” Rachel huffs.

“When did he leave?” Kurt asks.

“I dunno. Like not even two minutes ago,” Puck replies.

~~~~~

A moment of Puck

What. The. Hell.

That wasn’t fucking fair, I was just defending Kurt, they all should have thanked me for being all, what’s that word Rachel uses....chivalrous and shit. And maybe I was harsh to the guy, but Kurt IS usually into douchebags. Seriously, Sebastian? Douche. I figured I’d just explain things right up front and we’d have an understanding.

I didn’t know he was … whatever. He was all twitchy, but I thought that was because he knew I was just speaking the fucking truth.

Fuck this. Where is that guy? It’s almost sex o’clock and Rachel’s going to be holding out on me now.

~~~~~

“I’m going to find him, and you’re going to apologize.” Kurt says, menacingly. “Stay right here.”

“And I’m not having sex with you until you say you’re sorry!” Rachel yells to Puck as she heads back to her interrupted shower. (He called that shit.)

Kurt’s phone vibrates a second later.

-----------

September 20
@1:22 am
Blaine: Sorry I had to leave
Blaine: I’ll talk to you tomorrow.

1:23 am
Kurt: Are you ok? I know Puck was a jerk to you.
Kurt: He will be apologizing.

1:25 am
Blaine: No, I’m fine. No big deal.

1:27 am
Kurt: Do you want to come back? Or do you want me to meet you somewhere?

1:31 am
Blaine: No thank you. I just
Blaine: I really want to go to sleep.

1:32 am
Kurt: Ok. I’m sorry.

1:34 am
Blaine: Don’t be. I had fun. It was nice to hang out with you like that. To actually *talk* to you.

1:42 am
Kurt: It was
Kurt: But now I’m worried about all the things you aren’t saying.

1:56 am
Kurt: Blaine?

1:57 am
Blaine: There’s always something I’m not saying.

1:58 am
Kurt: Can you tell me what it is right now?

2:03 am
Blaine: I think you think that I’m upset because Puck insulted me or something, when really I’m just overwhelmed. By everything.
Blaine: Every time I think that you actually... like me I just get scared
Blaine: And I’m nervous because I don’t know how to act around you and I’m scared because I don’t know why you want me around. I’m just waiting for you to get tired of me.
Blaine: And I don’t think Puck owes me an apology. He was just being your friend.
Blaine: This isn’t about what Puck said at all. I mean, sure he’s intimidating, but I left because I was just... overwhelmed. And scared.

2:07 am
Kurt: I don’t really know how to act around you either. Partly because I’ve been trying really hard NOT to overwhelm you and partly because I like you and I’m trying to be cool too.
Kurt: But I’ve liked you for a long time
Kurt: I would say … from pretty much that night you told me that you’re not proud of how you’re not always yourself.
Kurt: There was something about how frank and open you were and I just thought “This guy. He’s special.”
Kurt: I’m not wrong Blaine. You are special.
Kurt: But your mistrust will get old eventually.
Kurt: Contrary to what you believe, you aren’t the only one with insecurities. I mean yours are bigger and harder to ignore, but I don’t always know what I’m doing either.
Kurt: The beginning of any relationship is nerve wracking.

2:10 am
Blaine: I really don’t want to make you feel insecure.
Blaine: When you feel insecure or think that I’m not really interested
Blaine: Picture me at speech twice a week, trying to learn to string a couple of sentences together. For you.
Blaine: And I don’t mean that like “oh poor Blaine” just like it’s hard for me. But I’m trying.
Blaine: Even when you can’t see me. I’m trying.

2:13 am
Kurt: And there you go being endearing again.
Kurt: I like you. I want to hang out with you. I want to earn your trust. I hope this is enough for you. I hope that you finally understand. I thought you already did understand.

2:16 am
Blaine: I like you too.
Blaine: And I do trust you even if it doesn’t seem like it.
Blaine: And thank you.
Blaine: Tonight was... a lot to take in.
Blaine: It’s just. No one has ever liked me before. Not “liked” me. Never. I don’t even really like me. And you’re like perfect. And I’m like … just Blaine.

2:19 am
Kurt: I’m not perfect.
Kurt: And you’ve never been “just Blaine” to me.
Kurt: ONE MORE TIME
Kurt: I LIKE YOU.
Kurt: A LOT.
Kurt: Now, go to sleep.

2:20 am
Blaine: I like you a lot, too.
Blaine: G’night Kurt :)

2:21 am
Kurt: Night Blaine :D

~~~~~

Blaine works up the nerve to walk over to the coffee shop the next day. He can’t really think about going to Kurt’s yet, so he’s making it a process. And the first step is to go to the coffee shop. He sits at one of the outdoor tables for a minute, debating what the next step in his process is, when someone behind him says his name. Blaine turns in his chair.

Puck.

Shit.

His voice is suddenly in Boca Raton for the winter, so he nods his head in greeting. Puck apparently takes that as an invitation to sit across from Blaine.

“No coffee?” Puck questions.

“Uh. Just,” debating, nope, thinking, nope, considering might work, “ccconsidering my order.” (not bad.)

Blaine eyes Puck warily.

Puck bobs his head and lets out a breath. “Listen I’m sorry for being a shithead to you. Rachel and Kurt really did say you were cool and. Like. I kind of zoned out while Rachel was telling me the whole story of you guys so I missed the part where you stopped being a dick so, yeah... I’m sorry and all."

Blaine’s sort of surprised and intrigued by how uncomfortable Puck looks. If there’s something Blaine truly understands it’s discomfort.

“Ok. Um, th-th-thanks.”

Puck just bobs his head again and moves to stand up.

“Uh, wait, wait. I-I think you’re a good friend fffffor say-say-saying that st-stuff to mah-mah-me. I-I-I wish, I wish I had a fffffriend who d-d-defended me like that. Kurt’s l-l-l-lucky.”

Puck leans back in his chair and crosses his arms and gives Blaine a quick once over with his eyes, the slightest smile playing on his lips. “Damn. You’re like, really into him.”

“I am,” Blaine agrees, suddenly feeling like a weight has been lifted.

“S’cool. We all kind of took care of him in high school. He had a shitty time and I just... watch out for him, ya know? But can I get you a coffee? Make it up to you? Princess Berry wants some kind of frozen hazelshit something. Luckily I texted it to myself.”

Blaine laughs at this and heads into the coffee place with Puck.

“You should know,” Puck says, as they stand in line. “You do have a friend like that. Apparently your boy Matt had a talk with Kurt last night, too.”

Blaine immediately begins planning to assault Matt while he’s sleeping. Like a ninja.

----------

September 20
@ 3:45 pm
Kurt: Sorry I couldn’t hang out very long.

3:48 pm
Blaine: That’s ok. Mostly I just wanted to see you and make sure you weren’t mad at me.
Blaine: and bring you coffee if you *were* mad at me

3:50 pm
Kurt: Good move with the coffee, it does tend to soothe the savage beast.
Kurt: Do you think maybe you’re less scared now?

3:53 pm
Blaine: Honestly? I’m probably going to be a little scared, at least for a while, until I get used to “this.”

3:55 pm
Kurt: Ok. I understand that.
Kurt: Just, please don’t run away ok?
Kurt: Even if Puck is being an asshole or you’re scared or overwhelmed.
Kurt: Maybe you could try to tell me, instead of running away?

3:59 pm
Blaine: Yes. I can do that. For you.

4:01 pm
Kurt: Good. I want “this” to work.

4:02 pm
Blaine: me too. :)
Blaine: Are you guys still on the train?

4:04 pm
Kurt: Yeah, Rachel’s asleep. She spent a vast majority of last night yelling at Puck.
Kurt: We’re going to be there soon though.

4:05 pm
Blaine: I’m lucky he didn’t kick my ass when he saw me today, if that’s how he spent his night.

4:06 pm
Kurt: He really is just weirdly over protective of me. It’s dumb, but you get used to it.
Kurt: They just announced we’re almost in New Haven. I better wake Rachel up.

4:07 pm
Blaine: Yeah, that’s cool. I have to go kick Matt’s ass for giving you “a talk” last night anyway.

4:08 pm
Kurt: Who told you!??!!?

4:09 pm
Blaine: Puck

4:11 pm
Kurt: DAMN HIM. Make sure you explain to Matt that I didn’t tell you! I kept my mouth shut!! It’s not my fault you’re going to stab him while he sleeps!

4:12 pm
Blaine: I’ll be sure to let him know, while I’m stabbing him in his sleep.
Blaine: have fun Kurt!

4:13 pm
Kurt: I’ll talk to you this week!